Price TAG! Caught You

, , , , , , | Right | July 10, 2018

(A young man has been hovering around the counter while all the staff have been busy with other customers. He’s acting a little oddly, but I’m serving someone else, and I tell him I’ll be with him in just a moment. By the time I’m free, he’s disappeared. I’m feeling suspicious, so I head towards the back of the shop and find him at the corner of the second to last aisle of books.)

Me: “Hi! So sorry to keep you waiting. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: *stuttering and still acting oddly* “Oh, yeah… um, what’s the price on this book?”

(He holds out one of the little gift books we keep down at the counter. I flip it over, and surprise, surprise, the price tag is missing. Without even looking, I reach around the corner of the aisle and find the price tag, which was stuck on the edge of a shelf.)

Me: “Well, it looks like it’s $9.95. Did you want to get that today?”

Customer: *backing away quickly to the door* “I’ll just have to… go get cash for that.”

Me: “Yeah, you do that. I’ll hold it at the counter for you, shall I?”

Some People Get Hospitalized For Saying Things Like That

, , , , | Related | July 7, 2018

(I am on the phone with my long-term boyfriend. My mum comes in my room and is trying to get me to go somewhere or do something with her.)

Me: “I can’t, Mum. I’m talking to [Boyfriend]; his brother just had a seizure and is in hospital right now. He’s not doing well.”

Mum: “[Boyfriend] is in hospital?”

Me: “No, his brother.”

Mum: “Then why do you care?” *walks off*

(It’s been four years, and my now-husband still hasn’t quite forgiven her for that comment.)

Maturity = 0

, , , , , , | Learning | July 2, 2018

(I am in maths class. We are learning about algebraic equations.)

Teacher: “…12 equals 4q.”

Student #1: *sniggers* “4q…”

Class: *giggling*

Teacher: “What? Oh… 4q…”

Class: *laughing*

Student #2: “I don’t get it.”

(And that is how the maths teacher ended up having to explain how to swear to a student.)

Quite Fluffy About What’s In Her Coffee

, , , , , | Related | June 26, 2018

(My sister is drinking a coffee she’s left sitting for a few hours. She looks in the mug.)

Sister: “Wow, there’s a lot of fluff in here.”

(She sits there, mulling over her options.)

Sister: “Maybe if I stir it in, it’ll sink the bottom.”

(I watched in horror as she happily stirred and drank her dust-and-cat-hair coffee. I really hope one of us is adopted.)

A Sixth Sense That It’s The Sixth Month

, , , , , , | Healthy | June 21, 2018

(I have a bad cold and need a medical certificate for work. I go to the walk-in clinic in my area, and the receptionist asks for my public health care card. I pass it to her.)

Receptionist: “Do you have a current one?”

Me: “Isn’t that current?”

Receptionist: “It’s expired; I can’t accept it.”

Me: “What? I haven’t gotten a new one yet.”

Receptionist: *she flips it around to show me, and taps on the expiry date*

Me: “Um, that’s not expired.”

Receptionist: *she taps it again*

Me: “That says 07-18.”

Receptionist: “Yep.”

Me: “It’s June.”

Receptionist: “Yep.”

Me: “June is the sixth month.”

Receptionist: “Wait.” *she checks something on her computer* “SO IT IS! Okay, the wait is currently half an hour; take a seat and we will call you when you’re up!”

Me: “Thanks.”

Receptionist: “And keep an eye out in the mail for your new card!”

Me: “I will!”

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