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Let’s Face It: Love Is Weird

, , , , , | Romantic | January 21, 2022

I have been trying to tell my girlfriend I love her for a couple of weeks. We are playing video games next to each other at her place. I am also painting my nails, so I have been using my chin to play my game.

She looks at me struggling with my game.

Girlfriend: “I love you.”

Cue us both looking at each other in panic.

Girlfriend: “I’m sorry!”

Me: “Did you mean it?”

Girlfriend: “Yes, of course.”

Me: “Okay, well, I love you, too.”

Girlfriend: “I feel bad; it could have been more special.”

It was a very “us” moment. It made me feel really special that she saw me acting weird and her first thought was that she loved me.

Helping Them With Everything Except The Kitchen Sink

, , , , , , | Right | November 16, 2021

I’m shopping at a popular superstore that’s having a really good sale on kitchenware. I’m replacing some cooking utensils when a young couple approaches me.

Young Man: “Excuse me, but I was wondering if this would melt?”

He points to an all-plastic turner.

Me: “If you leave it in the pan, yes, but I’ve you’re just cooking, then no. If I can make a suggestion, I’d go for this one.”

I pick up one made of metal and plastic.

Me: “It’s better quality and only fifty cents more.”

Young Woman: “Thank you, we’ve just moved into our first place and don’t really know what we’re doing.”

Me: “You’re welcome. I have some time to spare. If you would like, I can help you out.”

Young Man: “Thank you, we’d really appreciate it.”

I spent the next hour helping them pretty much set up their whole kitchen. While some things were a little more expensive, I saved them money on others. I found out they were international students who had just moved out of the dorms into their first apartment together and neither had lived on their own before.

When we went our separate ways, the young woman hugged me and they both thanked me profusely.

Those Sure Are Some Hot Decorating Skills

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 3, 2021

I’m sitting at home watching TV when I hear sirens approaching, and it sounds like they’ve stopped quite close to my house. Curious, I head outside and see fire engines stopped at the house two doors down. My next-door neighbor has also headed outside to look.

Me: “What happened?”

Neighbor: “Oh, the people in that house, they’re idiots! Do you know what they put in the backyard? A Gilligan hut!”

Me: “Gilligan hut?”

Neighbor: “A straw-roofed hut, like on Gilligan’s Island! And do you know what else they put in the backyard?”

Me: “What?”

Neighbor: “A fire pit! How did they think that was gonna go?”

The fire brigade’s presence certainly provided enough of a clue as to how it went.

If It’s Double-0 You’re Licensed To Kill The Call

, , , , , | Right | October 22, 2021

This is back in the 1970s when I am a young teen. At the time, local calls within the city are very cheap, but long-distance calls that require a 0x prefix are not. Basically, a call beginning with 0 is expensive; one that does not is 20c for unlimited talk time. There are two exceptions to this: 000, which is the emergency number, and the recently introduced free call 008 numbers.

Our home phone number begins with an 8. For simplicity, let’s say it’s 88-7777. Numbers were short back then.

The phone rings. I am alone in the house, so I pick it up. I do not sound like an adult, and I am definitely not using a business voice or business language.

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “Is that [Insurance Company]?”

Me: “No, you’ve rung a private residence.”

A few minutes later, it rings again. 

Caller: “Is that [Insurance Company]?”

Me: “No, it’s still a home number. What number were you dialing?”

Caller: “00887777.”

Me: “That’s our number if you take off the two zeros at the beginning. We are not an insurance office.”

I hang up, but seconds later:

Caller: *Now angry* “I want to speak to [Insurance Company]!”

Remember, I am a kid, and I have never worked in an office.

Me: “I think your phone system is ignoring leading zeros to stop you dialing interstate or international numbers.”

Caller: “I don’t understand why you won’t let me speak to [Insurance Company]!”

Me: “You are ringing our home. I cannot help you. You will need to contact your switchboard to place this call. Goodbye.”

Seconds later…

Caller: “Put me through to [Insurance Company]!”

Me: “I have no way of doing that. Talk to your switch. If you don’t stop calling, I will have to report you to Telecom as a nuisance caller.”

I can’t remember if it stopped then or if there were more calls. I don’t think I had to resort to making an official complaint, but it was close

The “Awesome” Tag Was Made For Workers Like This

, , , , , , , | Working | October 15, 2021

My state is in its fourth lockdown. I have been out of work since the start of the health crisis. I get a call about a job that I applied for a couple of months ago that I didn’t get but was next in line for. Great — they want me to start tomorrow. One problem: I don’t have all the clothes and shoes I need as I am very short on money and have been applying in several fields. So, I place a click and collect order for a superstore. The website says if placed by 12:00 pm, the order will be ready by 4:00 pm on the same day. I place my order at 11:30 and wait for a message to say it’s ready, but by 5:00 pm I’m still waiting. I ring the customer care, who puts me through to the store.

Call #1:

Worker: “I’m sorry, sometimes we have problems finding the items. Let me find out what’s going on and call you back.”

Call #2, half an hour later:

Worker: “I’m sorry for the delay, but we’re having problems finding all of your items on the shop floor. I have three team members looking out the back at the deliveries. I’m going to go and help look, as well. I just wanted to let you know what’s going on, and I haven’t forgotten you.”

Me: “Thank you. I really need these to start a new job tomorrow. Even if I need to substitute things, I don’t mind paying the difference.”

Worker: “No problem. We’ll work it out. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

Call #3, nearly an hour later:

Worker: “I’m sorry, but we were unable to find [pants #1] and [shoes]. We do have [pants #2]; they are the same colour and style. The only difference is [pants #2] are made of organic material and are slightly more expensive. Are those okay?”

Me: “That’s fine. How do I pay the difference?”

Worker: “Oh, no. Don’t worry about that. It’s our fault; we’ll cover it. Now with the shoes, we were unable to get them in women’s shoes. I do have several similar styles in men’s.”

Me: “Great. I don’t mind taking the men’s if they fit.”

Worker: “All right, it looks like you ordered size seven in women’s. What I’ll do is pull out a couple of pairs in men’s in sizes I think will work. When you come to collect your order, I’ll have a seat ready so you can try them on and see what works.”

Me: “Thank you so much. You have been amazing.”

Worker: “My pleasure. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to get it sorted out.”

Me: “No problem. You’ve really gone above and beyond to make sure I got what I need.”

Worker: “You’re welcome. See you soon.”

When I arrive, true to her word, everything is ready, including a sanitized stool for me to sit down a safe distance from everyone to try the shoes on. I find a great pair that is more expensive than the ones I ordered, but when I go to pay:

Worker: “Oh, no. It’s our mistake. Don’t worry about it. Good luck with the new job.”

Me: “Thank you so much. You really went out of your way to help. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be able to start tomorrow, and I’ve been unemployed since the start of the health crisis. This really means a lot.”

Worker: “I’m glad we could help. My manager said to do whatever I need to make you, the customer, happy and I’m so glad we could. Good luck with the new job.”

I thanked her again and asked for her manager’s name so I could contact corporate to let them know how amazing they were. Not only did she go out of her way to make sure I had my items, but they also covered over $50 in the difference and went above and beyond. I started the new job, and many months and two additional lockdowns later, I am still working and have just been offered full-time permanent employment.

To the worker, if you’re reading this, thank you so much. If it wasn’t for you going above and beyond and making sure I had what I needed, I would still be struggling to survive. You will never understand what a difference what you did made to me and my family.

This story is part of our end-of-year Feel Good roundup for 2021!

Read the next Feel Good 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good 2021 roundup!