Cannot Vouch For Her Thinking Processes

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(A lady comes in with a voucher she was sent as a result of her meal being messed up. With the voucher came a second voucher, for a free sundae. Her original order never included a sundae, and the expiry date on the sundae voucher was last month.)

Customer: *slamming vouchers down on the counter* “I want these.”

Me: *picking them up and inspecting them* “Okay…”

Customer: “You stuffed up my bloody order, so you better get it right this time!”

Me: *pointing out expiry date on sundae voucher* “I can’t actually honour this, as it expired last month.”

Customer: “It came with the other voucher, so I want it.”

Me: “It’s expired, so I cannot honour it. Sorry. But I can provide you with your free kids meal.” *starts keying in order*

Customer: “So, basically, you are forcing me to come in here to claim this?” *stabs finger at sundae voucher*

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “You want me to come in before the expiry date; that’s forcing me to return in order to get it, isn’t it?”

Me: “You don’t have to return for it, as it wasn’t part of your original order anyway.”

Customer: “Still, I’m being forced to come into the store to get this for free, aren’t I? Now I want it. Forget the expiry date; I want my free sundae!”

(At this point, I call over a manager and explain the situation. She takes the voucher to a second manager to ask their opinion. When she returns, as I expected, she tells the customer that since the voucher has expired, it cannot be honoured.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous. You lot f*** up my order, and you won’t give me what I’m entitled to!”

Me: *studying her voucher for her free sundae* “This is dated the 31st of December, so, allowing for New Year, you would have received this in the post at least six weeks ago. Yet you waited until two weeks past the expiry date on this to come in and claim it?”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

(At this point, her order was ready. She grabbed it and stormed out, leaving behind her sundae voucher, which we promptly tossed in the trash.)

The Sorting Hat Must Have Been Wrong About Her

, , , , , | Hopeless | October 4, 2017

(I work at a retail store that sells lots of geeky merchandise for rather high prices. One day, a group of kids come in who are very excited. They spend about 15 minutes looking around the shop and choosing what they want, and then they come up to the counter. I ring them up and it comes to about $60. The oldest one, a girl, looks about 16 and is using a card to pay for everything she and her siblings are purchasing. It all goes well, and we joke about Harry Potter, as she’s wearing a Slytherin scarf, and they leave the store. Ten minutes later, they come back, looking a little apprehensive.)

Oldest Girl: “Umm, hi. We were checking our receipt, and we realised we weren’t charged for something.”

(I almost do a double-take; this is opposite of what I expected. She pulls out a stuffed Pokéball, which I remember being part of her stuff, and the receipt.)

Oldest Girl: “This wasn’t on our receipt.”

(I check the receipt twice, and she’s right; I forgot to ring it up. Unfortunately, it’s store policy not to give discounts or free items except during a sale, so I have to ring it up as well.)

Me: “Thanks, mate. I don’t think too many people would have come back.”

Oldest Girl: *nervous smile* “Oh, it’s nothing.”

(She paid and left with her siblings. I was really impressed, and was glad to see that kids have the honesty and integrity to come back, especially seeing as I’ve seen far worse from people older than her.)

My Partner Is Not So Smart (Phone)

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 3, 2017

(I have just gotten a new cellphone, and am entering numbers into it.)

Girlfriend: “You should put your number in there, in case you lose it!”

Me: “Good idea!” *I start to add a new number, then stop.* “Wait… how would that help me?”

Girlfriend: “Well, if you left your phone here, I could call you!”

Me: “But if I put the number into my phone… and you have my phone… how will you call me?”

Girlfriend: “By calling your number!”

Me: “But if you’re calling my phone, and you HAVE MY PHONE…”

(We went back and forth a couple more times before she realized that putting my cell number in my cell wouldn’t be as useful as she first thought.)

Not Very Vanilla Behavior

, , , , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

I worked at a bakery and coffee shop for the summer. It had been around for over a century and was a huge tourist draw. It was always monstrously busy, with a line out the door every day.

One day, in the middle of a rush, a woman in her 60s came up and ordered a “French Vanilla.” I asked her to clarify what she would like made with French Vanilla: a latte, a cappuccino, a macchiato, etc. She looked at me like I had slapped her, and said she didn’t want any of that, just a French Vanilla.

It took every ounce of willpower I had not to define “adjective” for her. Instead I told her that we could add vanilla syrup to any of our drinks, but that she needed to tell me which drink she wanted. Her friend started to chime in about my incompetence and mumbled, “Just give the woman her godd*** French Vanilla, already.”

My supervisor came over and, not realizing what was happening, complicated the situation by telling them that we didn’t actually have French Vanilla syrup, just regular vanilla syrup. The woman then screamed, in front of a few dozen people, “I JUST WANT A FRENCH VANILLA!”. I eventually just made her a vanilla latte, which she said was the worst thing she had ever tasted.

A couple months later, I went into a very popular chain coffee shop and saw “French Vanilla” listed on their menu, and it all made sense. What was the drink? Basically, a vanilla latte.

Displaying Full Evidence Of Idiocy

, , , , , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

A customer pulls up in a burgundy taxi, tells the driver to wait, and then comes into the store.

He then pulls a knife and a garbage bag, and tells me to fill the bag with cartons of cigarettes.

I fill the bag, and watch as the crook then runs into what he thinks is his burgundy taxi, and slams the door behind himself.

Unbeknownst to him, I have just watched the taxi drive away, after seeing him attempt to rob the store, and a burgundy cop car, driven by a store regular, pull up.

Now the cop has just pulled into the gas station to get fuel, and some random guy has jumped into the back of his cop car, holding a knife and a bag full of stolen cigarette cartons, and locked himself in…

It takes a full hour for the cop to take my statement, because we can’t stop laughing at the idiot who arrested himself while holding the evidence of his robbery.

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