I’m at the store where I work, buying ingredients for my wife’s favorite dinner and some of her favorite treats. I’m joking with my coworkers that are ringing me up but seriously explaining that I am, in fact, kind of the worst right now and my wife is rightfully annoyed at me, so this is an “I’m Sorry” dinner.

Coworker #1: “I mean… I don’t know. You can’t be that bad.”

Coworker #2: “To be fair, neither of us is married to you, but what could you have done that warrants cheesecake, strawberries, a homemade dinner, and a promise to clean the house yourself tomorrow, on top of all the apologies you’ve already given?”

Me: “Ah, well, the first thing you have to understand is that everything that happened to make her day awful was directly caused by something I did or didn’t do… that she reminded me to do or told me not to do. For example: an ant hill was built right beside one of our windows, so we’re battling a slight ant infestation right now, so we need to be really careful about not leaving food out. I didn’t scrape out any of my dishes from yesterday, and I left them right beside that window.”

Coworker #1: “…oh, no.”

Me: “Yeeeeah. She woke up to find ants everywhere. My fault entirely. Once she dealt with that, she realized our cats were fighting.”

Coworker #2: “Well that’s not your fault!”

Me: “In this case, it is. One of our cats will forget the other and become territorial if the other cat is gone too long, and we both know this. I’m in school to be a vet. We’re supposed to take them to vet appointments together to avoid this. I only took one cat because I didn’t want to deal with both of the carriers while walking. Now they have to be kept completely separate from each other for a week minimum, and we live in a one-room apartment with no way to separate them. She’s been scratched already.”

Coworker #2: “Oh. Okay, yeah, that’s kind of your fault.”

Me: “One of them peed on her game console, and now it won’t turn on.”

Coworker #1: “No! Aw, okay. I’d be pissed, too, especially if you knew it was a problem and just didn’t do the solution.”

Me: *Nodding* “Yeah, I totally screwed that up. And then…”

Coworker #1: “There’s more?“

Me: “I’m really bad about losing my keys, and we keep having to pay our landlord to change our locks and get new keys. So, my wife made a firm rule: keys go in the bowl by the door. Always. No exceptions, ever.”

Coworker #2: “Right, that makes sense.”

Coworker #1: “I need that rule, to be honest. I’ve lost so many keys over the years.”

Me: “Well, I… couldn’t find my keys, and I was running out the door to work, so I just took hers. And I didn’t tell her. And she had a doctor’s appointment. She had to leave the apartment with no keys because she couldn’t get a hold of me to ask where the keys were.”

Coworker #1: “Uh-oh.”

Me: *Wincing* “She was getting her broken foot looked at, with its also broken toe, after she’d walked on the broken foot for over a month not realizing it was broken. She’s under strict orders to stay off her feet as much as possible right now, and she had to come into my work, get my keys, and then walk half a mile home on a broken foot because I lost my keys again.”

Coworker #2: “…dude.”

Me: “I wasn’t kidding; I’m kind of the worst right now. I think if we had a couch, I’d be sleeping on it tonight. This all happened today.”

Coworker #1: “I think you also owe her some flowers.”

Yes, I got the flowers, too!

I work in retail. We have a regular customer who is usually in the store past closing.

On one occasion, I ask her why she does this.

Customer: “Oh, I always wait until after you close to finish my shopping because I get all the attention on me since you all want to go home!”

I work at a call center that dispatches technicians. I work during office hours, and an external company takes the out-of-office emergency calls. This takes place on a Monday. The person on the other end of the line wants a technician the same day, but I offer one in two days instead, because everyone is fully booked and this is not an emergency.

Caller: “No, I will not accept that!”

Me: “I understand, sir, but everyone is booked. This the first available spot.”

Caller: “But you said I had to call back today!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I recognize your voice! I had you on the line yesterday, and you told me to call back today!”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t work yesterday. That must’ve been—”

Caller: “No, it was you! Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Sir, I did not work yesterday. Now, do you want me to reserve that spot on [date]?”

Caller: “You are doing this on purpose! You are lying to me! I talked to you yesterday, and you said I had to call today. I know it was you; I recognize your voice! I know it was you, I know it! I know it! Liar!”

Me: “Sir! I did not work yesterday! You are trying to make this personal, and I do not appreciate that. I don’t know who you talked to, but it was not me.”

Caller: “Oh, eh, I’m sorry, sorry! I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Now, do you want me to reserve that date for you?”

Caller: *Meekly* “Yes, yes, please. Thank you. Thank you. You are so kind. Thank you.”

The rest of the conversation goes calmly, and I make the appointment. We say goodbye and the man thinks he has hung up.

Caller: *Mutters* “F****** liar…”

I could have called him back. Instead, I made a note in the customer’s file that he showed aggression. This means that at every appointment he makes, two technicians will go to his house. This also means that future appointments come from a limited schedule, to ensure two people can go at the same time.

I work at a discount retailer, and we use our own price tags for everything rather than whatever the manufacturer puts on their items. Our tags usually have a basic description on them, like size and color, so it’s generally easy to notice if someone switches the tags.

I recently had a couple come in to return several things. Everything was fine with all of their items until the last one. It was an area rug, and while it wasn’t used or anything, nothing about it added up. The tag said it was supposed to be eight feet by ten feet for $110 when it was significantly smaller and should’ve been much cheaper, and the manufacturer’s label, which had a picture of the full pattern, wasn’t even close to the same design.

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t return this. This tag doesn’t go to this rug; nothing about it matches.”

Female Customer: “Well, that’s not my problem. That’s how we got it.”

Male Customer: “This is [Store]. Nothing here matches!”

They clearly didn’t accept what I was saying, so I called a manager over to take a look.

Manager: “Sorry, but this rug isn’t $110. We can’t return it for that.”

Male Customer: “Well, that’s what it is on the receipt!”

Female Customer: “If you scan the tag, what does it say?”

Manager: “It says $110, but it doesn’t matter because the tag doesn’t go to this rug.”

They still wouldn’t accept it, so the manager borrowed their receipt to review the transaction on the security camera. We didn’t have any customers at the time, so they just stood at my register talking loudly to each other about how they were clearly overcharged for the rug.

A few minutes later, the manager came back and even had a clip she recorded on her phone. It showed them buying TWO rugs: one was the one they had brought back, and the other perfectly matched the tag and label they brought in. The actual price of the rug: $50. Suddenly, they stopped insisting they had paid $110 for it, but they kept insisting that all this was our fault somehow.

Female Customer: “Well, you put the tags on wrong, so you need to go back there and fix them!”

Male Customer: “I don’t get it. What’s the problem? Just refund us for the right price.”

The manager explained everything, but it still wasn’t getting through to them, so I took it upon myself to step in.

Me: “Look, we’re going to fix the tag, and you’re going to get your refund — for the correct price.”

Male Customer: “There’s no need to raise your voice.”

I didn’t, but hey, there was also no need to tell bald-faced lies to our faces, and that didn’t stop him, did it?

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 64
Refunder Blunder, Part 63
Refunder Blunder, Part 62
Refunder Blunder, Part 61
Refunder Blunder, Part 60

I am pregnant with our second child, and we have decided to trade in our supermini car for something a bit more suitable after already struggling to get everything packed when going on vacation with just one child — which included buckling our large duffle bag into the passenger seat. We make an appointment at a local dealership, totally willing to order a new car from them after a test drive.

We arrive five minutes early with our two-year-old in tow, get his car seat out of our car, and walk into the dealership.

Office Lady: “The car isn’t ready for you to look at yet. Could you please wait outside, due to [global health crisis] restrictions?”

So, we wait. And wait. And wait. With a two-year-old in a car dealership parking lot. And wait.

Thirty minutes after our appointment time, my husband goes back inside and is told they just need five more minutes as the car is still in the back getting cleaned. 

Forty-five minutes after our appointment time, a sales agent walks outside, takes us to a car, and hands us the keys.

Sales Agent: “Please be back in thirty minutes.”

We install the car seat, take a fifteen-minute test drive, and walk into the office upon our return.

Me: “Hey, we just test-drove the [Van] and would like to place an order for a new one. The ones you have in stock right now according to your website do not meet our criteria, but we really like the car. [Sales Agent] said we could do that when we got back?”

Office Lady: “Sorry, [Sales Agent] has just left for lunch. She should be back in around an hour.”

Me: “Okay. Um, she said we should be back within thirty minutes when we left twenty minutes ago. Is she really not around anymore?”

Office Lady: “No, she just left. She told me you were test-driving the black [Van] and to expect you back any minute.”

Me: “All right. Is there anyone else who can help us out? We already had to wait for the car to be ready for forty-five minutes, and we have our toddler with us, so we really can’t wait another hour and then go through the whole ordering stuff.”

Office Lady: “No. We don’t do that. You have been assigned to [Sales Agent], so she is the only one who can help you.”

We didn’t buy a car that day and took our business elsewhere. I am not sure they understood why.