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Parenting The Parents

, , , , , | Right | November 13, 2011

(I am a 17-year-old girl working at a Boy Scout camp. It is close to the end of the summer and I’ve gotten very used to encounters like these. The camp has motorized canoes on the river because the boys are generally too weak to row upstream. Some dads tend to abuse the canoes. This particular dad is very obnoxious.)

Dad: *jumps into canoe*

Me: “Uh, sir, we actually need to go over safety rules before you guys can start with the canoes, okay?”

Dad: *blank stare*

Me: “So… I’ll have to ask you to get out of the canoe.”

Dad: *blank stare*

Me: *more sternly* “Sir! I really need you to get out now so we can get started.”

Dad: “No! You can’t tell me what to do! Do you think I don’t know how to use a canoe?!”

Me: “Well, I’m sure you are very experienced with canoes, but some boys aren’t, so we just want to make sure everyone knows the ground rules.”

Dad: “Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like this! Who do you think you are to talk to me like this? Do you know who I am? I have the power to fire your a**!”

Coworker: “Whoa, hey, calm down. You don’t need to talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

Dad: “She works here?! So she, like, gets… paid and stuff?”

Me: “Yes, I get paid and stuff.”

Dad: “But you’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, I am a girl.”

Dad: “At a Boy Scout camp?! This is just wrong! You can’t work here! Who hired you? What sick freak would hire a girl to do a man’s job?!”

(I begin writing names and numbers on a piece of paper.)

Me: “Okay, if you’d like to complain to my supervisor, here’s her number. Otherwise, you can talk to the camp director; her name is Elizabeth.”

Dad: *storms off*

(Later, I found out that this same dad attempted to pop a wheelie in the canoe and was put on our “do not canoe” list.)


This story is part of our Boy Scout roundup!

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The Recoil Is Amazing

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2011

(I’m stocking cans of soup at the end of an aisle when I hear a voice say, “Beep Beep!” I just ignore it but it continues to get louder. I turn around to see an elderly male customer with a shopping cart.)

Customer: “Beep, beep!”

Me: “Oh! Hi there. Did you need help finding anything today, sir?”

Customer: “Beep, beep!”

(He then proceeds to ram his cart into my butt multiple times.)

Me: “Oh, my, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was in your way. I’ll move.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay, sweetie. I do that to all the pretty girls.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll let you go now.”

Customer: “Wanna share a can of soup, sweet cheeks?”

Me: *running away* “No, thank you!”


This story is part of our Soup roundup!

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Bestial Superiority Complexes

, , , | Right | August 30, 2011

(I’m a customer at the vet with my cat. Another customer walks in with a large dog.)

Receptionist: “Good morning! Do you have an appointment?”

Customer: “No, I just need to see the vet for vaccinations.”

Receptionist: “I’ll let him know you’re in, but you will have to wait. We have another patient with an appointment waiting.”

Customer: *looks at my cat* “But it’s just some cat! My dog is a pure breed and it cost 1000 euros!”

Me: “And your point is?”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry! Can’t you just wait a bit longer? Your cat isn’t a pure breed.”

Me: “Yes, but she has an appointment and your purebred dog doesn’t.”

(At this point, the vet comes in and asks me to bring my cat. As I walk in the exam room, I can hear the customer complaining.)

Customer: “No self-respecting vet would make a pure breed wait!”


This story is part of our Take Your Cat To The Vet roundup!

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Water You, Stupid, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 2, 2011

(I am a floral associate at a grocery store. It’s a very hot day and I am outside watering the outdoor plants we have on sale.)

Customer: *storms up to me* “What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “Excuse me?” *still watering*

Customer: “Are you f****** stupid or something?”

Me: “No, why would you say that?”

Customer: “You’re watering those things. Only a f****** idiot would do that!”

Me: “Ma’am, these plants need water. It’s very hot out today and we can’t let them die.”

Customer: “Well, I’m right. You are a f****** idiot. Everyone knows plants make their own water!”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer then storms off to her car and nearly hits another car in her rush to leave.)


This story is part of our Houseplant roundup!

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The Worst Job You Never Had

, , , , | Right | May 10, 2011

(I’m a customer at a supermarket, but I’m still wearing my work uniform since I’m buying things for my job. My clothing doesn’t look anything like the uniform that the supermarket employees wear. Another customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Love, can you show me where the ice is?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I’m not sure where the ice is. It’s probably down at the freezer section.”

Customer: “Can you take me down there?”

Me: “Sorry, I have to buy this and get back to work. The freezer section is just over there. ”

Customer: “Well, you’re not being very helpful. I’m going to tell your boss about this.”

(She runs off to find a manager. It takes me awhile to realise that she thinks I work here.)

Customer: “There she is! The rude one!”

(The manager looks at me and immediately realizes what has happened.)

Customer: “You should fire her for being so rude to me!”

(The manager shakes his head and beckons me over.)

Manager: *whispers to me* “Just go with it.”

(I nod and he begins to ‘fire’ me in front of the customer, who looks satisfied. Eventually, someone who does work there gets her her ice and she leaves.)

Manager: “Sorry about that. She does this every time she comes in.”