Ugly Is In The Eye Of The Jerk

, , , , | Learning | December 23, 2020

I am doing a group project with three other women. They are all horrid snobs, and they’re all from fancy, influential families, whereas I am not. They think they have extremely good manners and like to correct me when I do things differently than them. My way of doing things is also considered polite, but they only know of two ways of doing things: their way or the wrong way.

I know that they actually know very little about manners as in Denmark, both then and now, the rudest faux pas you can make is to correct others in public. The second rudest is to brag, and if bragging was an Olympic discipline, they would be qualified to compete. Here is an example of their “perfect manners.”

One day, we are having a work meeting in [Woman #1]’s apartment. She has gone to the kitchen with [Woman #2] to get some tea and cookies.

Woman #3: “Well, well! Look at that!” 

She points at a hideous steel fruit bowl on the coffee table and bends over to pick it up. 

Woman #3: “I wonder if it is an original? The copies are sooo ugly! Oh! It is an original! Niiice!”

Me: “If the copies are so ugly, why did you need to turn it over to see the markings on the bottom to tell if it was original?”

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Confused In Multiple Languages

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2020

I work in a café that attracts a lot of kids after school because of what we sell. They can be sort of a handful but they’re usually nice.

One day, a big group of kids from the multilingual school nearby drops in, and everything goes downhill from there.

They’re constantly talking over each other and trying to order at the same time, I’m constantly switching between languages and trying to remember who spoke what, they all want specially made orders, some pay together and some don’t, and every time someone orders, they disappear to talk loudly to a friend in the group and I lose track of them and get confused about who ordered what.

Every time someone pays, another one tries to order, and at one point, a girl doesn’t have enough money to pay and she has to run off to find a friend to pay for her, leaving me to remember who she was and what she ordered while multiple kids try to get my attention.

Finally, the last kid pays. I am very tired.

Me: “Sorry, I got confused here.”

Kid: “Yeah, that happened last time we were here, too.”

GEE, I wonder why!

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Does Not Tenderly Accept The Coins

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2020

It’s a lovely day and we’re pretty busy from the morning already. I’m alone on register until my manager comes back from her trip to the bank, and I’m trying my hardest to keep up with the customers. I’ve just run out of bills.

Customer: “I’d like to order these two beers.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be [amount].”

The customer hands me a really large bill and I dig through my register to give him change, solely in coins because that’s all I have.

Customer: *Sneers* “That’s way too many coins. You can’t give me this.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I’m out of bills right now.”

Customer: “That’s still not okay. It should be illegal to give out this many coins.”

He turns to the customer behind him.

Customer: “Shouldn’t this be illegal?

Customer #2: *In a cold voice* “It’s legal tender.”

Customer: *Huffs and starts yelling at me* “Well, I think it should be illegal and I won’t take this many coins!”

I’m practically in tears by this point as I just want him out of my line so I can serve the rest of the customers, and I’ve never been yelled at by a customer before.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really don’t have anything else, and you didn’t pay with a card.”

Customer: “Well, I wanted to use physical money! I need the change!”

He eventually huffed again and shuffled off with his beers, and after half an hour, he came up after my manager had returned with new change, and I was able to exchange his “illegal money” for more bills instead of coins. When he left, he at least had the decency to look sheepishly at me, but he never apologized.

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They’re Speaking Both Physically And Mentally

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I work at a taxi call center where we receive and send out the addresses of people’s whereabouts to the cab drivers. In all cases, we must receive an accurate address. This happens more than you would think.

Me: “[Taxi Company], good afternoon!”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, can you hang on for a moment? I don’t know where I am.”

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A Little Wet Behind The Ears

, , , , , | Working | April 22, 2020

(It’s a pretty slow day and I’m working with a new hire. He’s very nice and funny but also sort of slow with some things, and a little clueless. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “I’d like a dry gin.”

New Hire: *visibly confused* “But it’s a liquid.”

Me: *losing my marbles and trying to professionally hide it*

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