A tourist waits one week before asking for a 100% refund for a guided city tour, on a bike. She took the full three-hour tour. Her reasons for complaining are:

Tourist: “The group was too large!”

Her party was three out of thirteen people. The website clearly states that groups can be as large as fifteen people.

Tourist: “The guide was insufficiently knowledgeable!”

The guides are trained and tested, but opinions differ…

Tourist: “The city was too crowded!”

It’s a capital, in summer. What were you expecting? Some people…

I work in a bubble tea café. In walks a small group of people, with one female customer who is studying our menu thoroughly. I notice she is talking to another member of the group about some of our premium choices, three of which are currently unavailable and have big signs over their pictures saying “sold out”.

Everyone but her orders, and she finally seems to make a decision.

Customer: “Hi. Can I have the [sold-out premium drink]?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that one is sold out, as indicated.”

Customer: “Oh. What about [different sold-out premium drink]?”

Me: “That one is also sold out, sorry.”

Customer: “Hmm. Okay, then I’ll have a classic milk tea, instead.”

Me: “Great! With tapioca topping?”

Customer: “Yes, please. Oh, wait, does the classic milk tea have milk?”

Me: “Uh. Yes, the classic milk tea is with milk.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. That’s fine.”

I make the drink and hand it to her. She comes back a few minutes later.

Customer: “Excuse me. What toppings did you put in?”

Me: “Tapioca? The ones you agreed to?”

Customer: “Oh, okay. They’re weird.” 

With that, she walked out. I turned to my coworker and asked if we both heard all of this; she was equally as confused as me.

I am at Copenhagen central train station, waiting for my train to Sweden. A well-dressed lady approaches me.

Lady: “Can you help me get to the airport?”

Me: “The train bound for Sweden will stop at the airport.”

This train is running on time and is scheduled to arrive in five minutes.

Lady: “No, no, my flight leaves in thirty minutes! That’s too late; you have to get me to the airport faster than that!” 

Lady, I have no control over neither the trains, the planes, or the automobile traffic. I’m just trying to catch my train and go home.

A friend of mine was at a local bar all evening and finally left shortly after two o’clock in the morning.

He went to the only local pizza place that was still open. At the pizza place, he ordered a pizza and asked for it to be delivered, gave his address, and paid.

He then waited outside for the delivery guy to come out. When he got there, my friend asked him:

Friend: “You’re taking that pizza to [address]?”

The driver said that he was.

Friend: “Well, that pizza is for me. As you’re going there anyway, can I hitch a ride?”

He was taken home and got his pizza for something similar to the price of a taxi.

I am closing up at work, almost done cleaning, and very ready to go home. The café itself closed almost twenty minutes ago.

I hear the front door open despite the fact that the sign is flipped to “closed” and our hours are clearly listed on the door. Three kids, probably around ten to fourteen, enter.

Me: “Oh, sorry, the café is closed.”

Oldest Child: “No. You close at 19:30. We called ahead and confirmed.”

I’m confused now. She sounds so sure and assertive in her statement that I’m slightly panicked I might have missed an update about us closing later at the moment.

Me: “I’ve cleaned out everything; I literally do not have anything to serve you. It’s cleaned and ready for tomorrow. I’m almost done for the day.”

Oldest Child: “But we’re regulars. We came all the way from [City forty-five minutes away]. That’s so far away. And we called ahead.”

Me: “I didn’t receive any calls all day. Who did you call?”

Oldest Child: “It was a man. He said you close at 7:30 pm.”

Now I’m thinking they might have somehow managed to get a hold of my boss’s number, but I have no clue how.

Me: “Did he confirm it was here? This place? Not [Café with a similar name], [Café with a slightly similar name], or [Café with the same concept but not named at all like us]?”

Oldest Child: “He did. We said [Our Café] and even asked if it was the right address here.”

I want to stress that her tone during this entire conversation is very demanding and slightly condescending. The dissonance of a child acting like this is completely throwing me off.

I quickly check my schedule on my phone, confirming that my shift ends in ten minutes. I relay this information to them.

Middle Child: “But we’re regulars!”

Oldest Child: “And we came from so far away! Just for you! Can’t you make an exception?”

Once again, I reiterate that I am quite literally out of product to sell them and that everything is turned off.

The conversation keeps looping; I tell them I’m closed and don’t know what they’re talking about, and they insist they called ahead and that I should make an exception for them because they’re regulars from so far away.

Me: “Okay, who did you call? Did you get a name?”

Oldest Child: “No. It was some guy. Look, here’s the number. I’m gonna call again.”

She puts it on speaker phone, and sure enough, some guy whose voice I don’t recognize picks up.

Oldest Child: “Hi. You close at 19:30, right?”

Man On The Phone: “Yes.”

Oldest Child: “And you’re [Our Café], right?”

Man On The Phone: “No, we’re [Café with a similar name].”

Oldest Child: “Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

She hangs up, and the atmosphere is suddenly very awkward. I’m trying not to laugh a little.

Youngest Child: “But… but they don’t have the [specific thing] that we want.”

Me: *Kindly* “They do. I know for sure they do.”

Youngest Child: “Oh. Okay.”

Oldest Child: *Still trying to find somewhere to direct her weirdly intense energy* “But then we have to hurry to make it.”

Me: “You really don’t; you’ve got over an hour to get there, and it’s five minutes away. I’ve walked past them many times; it’s right by [Station close by]. You can’t miss it.”

The youngest child confirms that she knows where I’m talking about and that they’ve also passed it. The oldest is avoiding eye contact.

Oldest Child: “Well. I guess we should go, then.”

Me: “I hope they have what you want. Have a nice evening.”

And with that, they left. I stood in my empty shop for a moment, baffled. Never have I thus been lectured by a child.