A Couple Of Feet, Moaning For Miles

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2019

(I work at a small corner store where we only have two registers. I am currently manning register #1, while register #2 is closed as my coworker is on cleaning duty. I have no line as a customer comes up and starts unloading onto register #2.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, you can. Over here.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, that register is currently closed as I am here by myself. Could I get you to move over here?”

Customer: “H*** no. I am over here and you just have to move your lazy a** over to the customer.” 

Me: “I am very sorry, sir, but that register is currently closed. I can help you over here.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll move, since you’re soooo unwilling to move a few feet over here.”

Me: “Again, I must inform you, that register is closed. Closed.”

Customer: “Hmpf. It is just a far from here to the lottery terminal as from over there.”

Me: “Sir! The other register is closed! C-L-O-S-E-D. CLOSED.”

Customer: “That wasn’t so hard, now was it? God, you really are lazy when you can’t even walk two feet over there.”

Me: *now pointing to the two registers* “CLOSED. OPEN. OPEN. CLOSED!”

Customer: “Lazy S.O.B.!” *pays and walks away*

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Unfiltered Story #160896

, | Unfiltered | August 23, 2019

(This is my housemate’s story, he is a plumber and is out to perform some services at a home for people with mental disabilities. This exchange is between him and a handler.)

Housemate: “Excuse me, I have to leave for a moment to get some spare parts else where. Is there a place I can leave my tool box?”

Handler: “Oh… is there anything in it they might eat?”

Housemate: “Errr… maybe?”

Handler: “Sigh… sometimes I wish I could lock *them* up.”

Housemate: “…”

This Student Is Just On Fire Today!

, , , , , | Learning | August 22, 2019

Some years ago, when I was in seventh grade — ages 13 to 14 — we had physics and chemistry as a combined course. One day, we were all sitting in the lab while the teacher was talking. Suddenly, we all heard a “woosh” and people screaming. One of the boys was apparently bored and had built a small bonfire of matches, doused it with turpentine, and set fire to it! The flames were huge but thankfully died out quickly with a little help from the fire extinguisher. 

Everyone was thankfully okay, but one girl got some of her long hair burnt off, and her T-shirt had no back anymore. It was the only time my class got sent home early.

The girl had to get a bob haircut to save her hair. The boy’s parents had to pay for the haircut and a new T-shirt. The boy had to sit at the teacher’s desk every time we had physics/chemistry from then on. When asked why he did it, he just stated that he was bored and didn’t know how much damage he would cause. The burn mark from the fire was still on that table when I graduated.

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A Picture Perfect Finish

, , , , | Hopeless | August 9, 2019

Due to very complicated administrative reasons, my partner and I could not get married in a timely fashion in either of our home countries or the country where we currently reside. After much research, we hit on Denmark as our best possible option and applied to be civilly married there. Our application came back approved a week later and we started planning our trip. Neither of us makes very much money and we’re both fairly thrifty by nature so we make things work the best we can. We plan to spend the minimum amount of time possible in Copenhagen, we book the cheapest possible non-refundable flights on a budget airline, and we decide to stay in a hostel dorm with access to a kitchen so we can self-cater.

There is one thing I want to splurge on: I want pics of the big day because I have a terrible memory and because it’s just the two of us basically eloping and we both have friends and family who wanted to be there but couldn’t.

My partner thinks I’m being a bit silly about it but agrees, if we can find someone in budget. I look for professional, reputable photographers but I can’t find anyone in budget and I rapidly realize that all listed options that I’m finding are much more than we need or want.  

Finally, I come to the conclusion that it would be cheaper for us to fly and accommodate a third person out with us to do the photography than it would be to get a professional. I ask colleagues and local friends if anyone’s free for a random two-day jaunt to Copenhagen. 

A friend of a friend is free, and he and I sit down together and book his tickets and hostel. All’s well until we go to check in online before our flight. My partner and I check in with no problem. [Friend of Friend] goes to check in and it turns out that somehow, despite having two sets of eyes on the whole booking from start to finish, I somehow managed to book him the wrong way round — Copenhagen to our city and then our city back to Copenhagen. Since we did the cheapest possible booking, the tickets were non-refundable and the price has since dramatically increased.

My partner accepts this all very philosophically but is annoyed about the lost money. I am incredibly upset and can’t believe how stupid I was.

In desperation, I try a FB page related to Copenhagen and I pour out the whole story of my stupidity with the booking and begging someone, anyone, to come to take pictures of us in exchange for a few mementos from our city.

Someone does get back to me and says he can do it.

I am happy but don’t want to be too happy in case it doesn’t work out. My partner is much more openly skeptical. But on the day of, our impromptu photographer shows up and spends the morning taking pictures of us! He is so thoughtful and has such good ideas for places and poses! I couldn’t have asked for a better photographer! Thanks to him, we have beautiful photos to show our friends and family!

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Calling Out Bad Behavior Results In Good

, , , | Hopeless | August 8, 2019

(I ride the train to school every morning. Unfortunately, this train line is known as the most unstable in the country, so most of us passengers are used to it. One morning, the train is very late and we keep stopping between the stations because of some technical error. It is becoming clear that everyone will be late to work or school. The train driver and the conductor update us a little over the speakers. Suddenly, we hear a message over the speakers:)

Conductor: “This is the conductor speaking. Thank you so much for your patience this morning. I know that you are all stressed, but most of you have been so kind to me. We are doing the best we can to get you to your destination. Thank you for not yelling at the staff, except for the gentleman who spent five minutes complaining and yelling at me. We hope to get clearance to continue on our journey soon. I wish you all a pleasant day.”

(The mood lightened after that. Several people smiled and started talking to each other — in Denmark, you generally don’t talk to strangers unless absolutely necessary. I don’t know who the rude man was, because there hadn’t been any yelling in my car. I hope that man learned not to yell at innocent staff.)

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