Going By The Original Definition Of A Caravan

, , , | Right | September 21, 2020

Our store is right across from a football stadium, which lies in a small town. It’s in the middle of tourist season and a French tourist approaches me.

Tourist: *In French* “Do you speak French?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t understand.”

Tourist: *In bad English* “Is it possible to park our caravan outside?”

Me: “Do you mean for the night?”

Tourist: “Yes!”

Me: “That shouldn’t be any problem, but you have to wait until after eleven pm when the store closes, and at eight am tomorrow, when the store opens again, you have to move. Is that okay?”

Tourist: *Happily* “Yes, very good, no problem.”

I have the opening shift the next day. My mother drives to work and behold: around twenty to thirty caravans have taken over the entire parking spots around the football stadium! Apparently, I had misunderstood the tourist.

Mother: *In shock* “Oh, my God! Look at all those caravans! Who gave them permission to park there?”

Me: *Embarrassed* “I think I did.”

That morning, every customer that came to the store was talking about the army of caravans. I never told anyone that it was me that accidentally gave them permission. Luckily, the local football team didn’t have a match that day!

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She Is Fala-full Of Herself, Part 2

, , | Right | August 25, 2020

A customer asks for hummus, so I go find her the regular we carry in the store.

Customer: “I need the one with the three different ones in it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have that brand; I know the store across the street does.”

Customer: “I don’t want to go to different stores just to get hummus. Why don’t you look in the back?”

Me: “We don’t even have this brand of hummus; there won’t be any in the back.”

Customer: “Maybe I’ll just go to another store altogether.”

She put down all her groceries and left with this smug face like she was going to put us out of business by not buying her tomatoes, bread, and hummus here.

She Is Fala-full Of Herself

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Unfiltered Story #206176

, | Unfiltered | August 24, 2020

Among other things, our business offers a battery change service for wristwatches, lighters, car remotes etc. These two customers came in on the same day, within hours of each other. The first was an older lady:

Customer 1: Do you have a teeny weeny weeny weeny tiny battery for a watch?

Me: We have about 40 different types of watch battery, do you have the watch with you and I can see what battery it takes.

Customer 1: No I don’t, but it really is a very very small battery.

Me: I’m afraid we have several very small batteries. Without knowing which type it is, I wouldn’t know which one to sell you. You don’t happen to have the number of the battery do you?

Customer 1: No, but it was for a watch that my son bought me for me as a present in the USA

Me: Unfortunately, that doesn’t help me very much. I really need to see the watch before I can advise you.

Customer 1: Do you mean I am going to have to go ALL THE WAY HOME to fetch it?

Me: I’m afraid that’s the only way I’m going to be able to help you.

The customer gives me a disgusted look and leaves. She is back within ten minutes, so it can’t really have been that much of an inconvenience to go and fetch it. The kicker? By no stretch of the imagination could it be described as a ‘ teeny weeny weeny weeny tiny battery’; it was a full three times bigger than the most commonly used battery. In watch battery terms it was enormous.

About an hour later my co-worker was serving a middle-aged gentleman:

Customer 2: I’m looking for a particular battery. I’ll know it when I see it.

My co-worker brings out the various trays of batteries we stock and eventually, after much to-ing and fro-ing they whittle it down to a battery about half the length of a standard AAA-cell

Co-worker: You have to be a bit careful here, because we have two batteries of about that size. One is a 1.5 volt battery but the other is 12 volts. If you use the 12 volt battery where it should be the 1.5 volt one you could damage the device.

Customer 2: I’ve got the number of the battery here somewhere. Would that help?

Co-worker: (Mental facepalm)

Unfiltered Story #204363

, , | Unfiltered | August 9, 2020

I operate rides in an amusement park. I’m letting people into a ride where you have to be 140 centimeters to go. In some rides children just have to be with an adult to go, but this one says MINIMUM 140 on all signs, and we are quite strict when it comes to safety.
It’s late December, so we are only open for a week or so before we close for 3 months to get ready for spring.

I’m measuring a girl, and she is around 3 – 4 centimeters to small.
Me: I’m sorry, sweetie, but you’re a little to small to go. Come back in the summer, and I’m sure you’ll be able to go!

As the girl starts to leave her dad yells to contact me.
Dad: Hey, hey! What if she just goes with me?
Me: I’m sorry, a minimum of 140 centimeters. It’s for safety reasons. To make sure people fit in the seats.
Dad: But she’s very brave!
Me: I’m sure she wouldn’t get scared, but we could risk her getting hurt, and we don’t want that.
Dad: But it’s only a few centimeters! It has to be alright!
Me: The limit is 140. If it’s okay to be a few centimeters to small, where should I then put the limit? Where should I stop?
Dad: Hm… good point. Come on, sweetie, let’s find something else!

His tone of voice completely changed after I made the statement with the limit. He was never rude, but just very bossy and a tad stern-sounding. But then he suddenly sounded like I blessed him with new information. Very strange.

They’re Speaking Both Physically And Mentally

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I work at a taxi call center where we receive and send out the addresses of people’s whereabouts to the cab drivers. In all cases, we must receive an accurate address. This happens more than you would think.

Me: “[Taxi Company], good afternoon!”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, can you hang on for a moment? I don’t know where I am.”

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