They’re Speaking Both Physically And Mentally

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I work at a taxi call center where we receive and send out the addresses of people’s whereabouts to the cab drivers. In all cases, we must receive an accurate address. This happens more than you would think.

Me: “[Taxi Company], good afternoon!”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, can you hang on for a moment? I don’t know where I am.”

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A Little Wet Behind The Ears

, , , , , | Working | April 22, 2020

(It’s a pretty slow day and I’m working with a new hire. He’s very nice and funny but also sort of slow with some things, and a little clueless. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “I’d like a dry gin.”

New Hire: *visibly confused* “But it’s a liquid.”

Me: *losing my marbles and trying to professionally hide it*

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Fail To The Bus Driver, Part 3

, , , | Working | April 6, 2020

(I mostly travel by bus if I need to go somewhere downtown. The bus arrives late, and several others form a neat queue to get on. Having arrived late to the stop, and having had to yield to a passing cyclist, I’m right next to the bus, maybe three metres behind the last person in the queue. They get on, and I arrive at the door just as it starts closing, snagging my jacket, nearly trapping my arm in the door. I notice he’s not paying any attention to the passenger side of the bus, being busy checking for overtaking cars and traffic. I barely manage to untangle my jacket as the bus sets off, making me angrily knock the glass in the door. The driver slams the brakes, only then noticing me. He opens the door:)

Driver: “If you wanna get on the f****** bus, be at the f****** stop on time, you fat c***! I’m already late.”

Me: *now very angry* “The f*** did you just call me?!”

(While it’s true that I am fat, I don’t particularly appreciate a complete stranger being this rude to me.)

Me: “I was right next to the f****** bus!”

Driver: “The h*** you were! I didn’t see you!”

Me: “Since I’m such a fat c***, you couldn’t possible have failed to notice me, in full daylight, in my bright red T-shirt and green jacket, if you’d bothered to f****** check your g**d***ed mirror, but you were too f****** busy looking the other way! You almost trapped my f****** arm in the door!”

Driver: “Oh, boo-f******-hoo! Now sit the f*** down before I throw you off!”

(I was so pissed off, I forgot to swipe my bus pass, only remembering after the driver reminded me. A complaint was lodged!)

Related:
Fail To The Bus Driver
Fail To The Bus Driver, Part 2

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Totally InDane

, , , , | Right | March 7, 2020

It’s relevant to know something about us Danes, something that makes certain other cultures view us as a bit cold and unfriendly: we like our personal space. We don’t like when our little bubble is invaded. We like to be left alone, and an unwanted intrusion is generally unwelcome. Keep to yourself and don’t cause trouble, basically.

It’s also worth pointing out that in Aarhus, unlike everywhere else in Denmark, passengers board the bus at the rear and exit at the front, or if the bus has a door in the middle, board in the middle and exit at the front and rear.

This particular bus has doors in the middle. On this ride, the bus is somewhat packed. There are no seats left, leaving only room for standing passengers, of which there are already quite a few. At one of the downtown stops, three boys, maybe 13 or 14, get on, and they immediately start causing trouble.

They are talking loudly to each other, have music blaring from a mobile phone, run up and down the bus, bump into other passengers, and talk rudely about certain passengers. Everyone else does the Danish thing and remains silent rather than doing anything about it.

As the bus steadily trundles toward the outer neighbourhoods of the city, it approaches a stop where a sitting passenger has to get up. In order for her to get out, an elderly lady with a crutch has to get up from her seat, a somewhat slow procedure. The departing passenger gets out, and before the elderly lady can sit back down, two of the three boys rush in and take the two seats.

The lady tells them, “Excuse me, I was sitting there.”

The boy now sitting in her seat tells her, “So what? Now it’s mine! Buzz off!”

Everyone around them looks miffed but does nothing, apart from one guy who helpfully offers up his seat. All this time, the driver has been waiting for the lady to be seated, watching everything in the rear-view mirror, and hearing everything as well as the boys, who are loud enough for everyone to hear. The elderly lady now seated, the bus sets off again.

However, having left the third boy standing in the front of the bus causing mischief, they soon abandon the seats to join their friend, leaving two other passengers to take the seats. Eventually, the boys wind up in the middle of the bus.

As the bus approaches a minor industrial area with nothing of interest, except to those who work there, it starts slowing down. To those of us who can see the next stop, this seems strange. No one has pressed “STOP” and there are no passengers waiting to board. The bus then comes to a halt at the stop, the middle doors open, and a voice comes on the tannoy:

“Would someone please throw those three baboons off the bus?”

In a split second, a few other passengers grab the boys by their arms or collars and more or less yank them out of the bus with enough force that they almost lose their balance, and with the doors closing, the bus sets off again, leaving the boys stranded in one of the most boring areas of Aarhus until the next bus comes by.

Strictly legal? Perhaps not. People actually cheer, though. Karma’s a b****.

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Unfiltered Story #187805

, | Unfiltered | March 6, 2020

I work in Europe in a call center doing tech support for a well known American insurance company…

I got a call from a guy that was part of a 7 person training course who wanted me to help set up his email. This requires me to download a file to his machine, but when I check it hasn’t been created yet. He gets me to check the other 6 people in his class, and no file for them either. So we end the call…

Two minutes later one of his colleagues calls back and we go through the same thing. Over the next 45 minutes all 7 of these morons call for the same reason, with the same result. The files haven’t been created, there’s nothing I can do…

Then their manager calls and wants to speak to my boss as I’m extremely unhelpful. I point out that it’s 4am where I am, that there are no bosses around as they’re all in bed like normal people, and that until someone in a completely different country gets around to creating these files my hands are tied…

Remarkably, this is not the worst call of the night, as on the very next call someone asked me to tell him his mothers maiden name as he needs to answer this question to get into his system…

#SomanyCockwomblessolittletime