, , , , | Friendly | February 16, 2021

When our family and my husband’s younger sister’s family both had small children, we visited each other on a regular basis. Admittedly, it was very obvious that, when his sister was the host, she would prefer we left after one or two hours while her husband wanted us to stay the entire day, so we usually only stayed for three or four hours at most.

They both claimed to be fond of nature and to be very spiritual. However, we learned that my sister-in-law will often express opinions or sentiments she feels she ought to have instead of what she really means or feels. On two occasions, I spent quite a while making her homemade gifts only to have her turn her nose up at them. She would say that she liked them but it was obvious she didn’t and that she was actually angry at us for having given her exactly what she asked for. I have been selling my crafts at markets, so I seriously doubt it was the quality of the gifts which was the problem. She only likes things that are store-bought. In reality, she is the most materialistic person I know.

We stopped talking about nature hikes and such with them because of one incident.

Sister-In-Law: “What did you two do last weekend?”

Me: “Not much. We just hung around the house and then we took a short trip to the local forest on Sunday.”

She screeched at me that our way of living wasn’t the only right way to do things. We thought they also went to the forest on a regular basis, but now we think that was more wishful thinking than reality and she expected me to read her mind and know that.

We often did them favors and lent them things. We have helped them move on four occasions. The last time we asked friends and family to help us move instead of using a company, her school was closed that entire week. She didn’t help us, as she needed rest. When school wasn’t closed, she only had to be at school ten to fifteen hours a week and had hardly any homework.

She doesn’t understand why she can only keep friends for a maximum of two years and we are quite happy to live far away from her now.

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You’ve Dunning Everything At This Point

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2021

We offer different payment methods, and invoicing is quite popular. One thing with this payment is that the customer has up to thirty days to pay, but if they are late, they will get a dunning for 10,000 Danish Kroner — about $1,600. This usually makes them either confused, angry, or apologetic, but it tends to work without any big dramas… except with this one customer.

The whole conversation is through email in English.

Customer: “Why have you sent me this dunning? I have returned the order! I should not have to pay anything!”

Coworker #1: “It was sent automatically since we hadn’t received any payment. But since we have received your return, you don’t need to pay anything. Just ignore the dunning; we will remove it after a while.”

Customer: “No, I don’t agree! I have to pay the 10,000 DKK!”

Yes, they literally said that they don’t agree with us and that they have to pay.

Coworker #2: “No, you don’t need to pay this invoice. We have received your return, so there is nothing to pay.”

Customer: “Yes, I will pay! I need your bank details, so I can transfer the payment.”

Coworker #3: “Our bank details are [number], but I will repeat what my coworkers have said: you don’t need to pay this invoice.”

Customer: “I need the IBAN!” *International Bank Account Number*

I opened the email chain at this point and could not do anything but laugh at the whole situation. Never have I ever gotten a customer who wanted so badly to pay for an invoice. We had already removed the dunning by this point, so there literally was zero left to pay. I tried to explain it again and to highlight that there was nothing to pay on this order, but I don’t know if he understood it. We’ll see when the next coworker gets the customer again.

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Ugly Is In The Eye Of The Jerk

, , , , | Learning | December 23, 2020

I am doing a group project with three other women. They are all horrid snobs, and they’re all from fancy, influential families, whereas I am not. They think they have extremely good manners and like to correct me when I do things differently than them. My way of doing things is also considered polite, but they only know of two ways of doing things: their way or the wrong way.

I know that they actually know very little about manners as in Denmark, both then and now, the rudest faux pas you can make is to correct others in public. The second rudest is to brag, and if bragging was an Olympic discipline, they would be qualified to compete. Here is an example of their “perfect manners.”

One day, we are having a work meeting in [Woman #1]’s apartment. She has gone to the kitchen with [Woman #2] to get some tea and cookies.

Woman #3: “Well, well! Look at that!” 

She points at a hideous steel fruit bowl on the coffee table and bends over to pick it up. 

Woman #3: “I wonder if it is an original? The copies are sooo ugly! Oh! It is an original! Niiice!”

Me: “If the copies are so ugly, why did you need to turn it over to see the markings on the bottom to tell if it was original?”

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Confused In Multiple Languages

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2020

I work in a café that attracts a lot of kids after school because of what we sell. They can be sort of a handful but they’re usually nice.

One day, a big group of kids from the multilingual school nearby drops in, and everything goes downhill from there.

They’re constantly talking over each other and trying to order at the same time, I’m constantly switching between languages and trying to remember who spoke what, they all want specially made orders, some pay together and some don’t, and every time someone orders, they disappear to talk loudly to a friend in the group and I lose track of them and get confused about who ordered what.

Every time someone pays, another one tries to order, and at one point, a girl doesn’t have enough money to pay and she has to run off to find a friend to pay for her, leaving me to remember who she was and what she ordered while multiple kids try to get my attention.

Finally, the last kid pays. I am very tired.

Me: “Sorry, I got confused here.”

Kid: “Yeah, that happened last time we were here, too.”

GEE, I wonder why!

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Pulled Her Out Of The Path Of That Bullet

, , , , , | Learning | December 6, 2020

It’s 1988 or 1989. During the lunch break, I am talking with three other girls in my class. We are all sixteen years old. [Girl #1] has been watching too many American high school movies and thinks she is the queen bee in the class. She isn’t. We don’t have one.

Girl #1: *Looking smug* “My new boyfriend has a car.”

We all look at her oddly. You can’t get a driver’s license until you are eighteen. At this time, there is a 180% luxury tax and then 25% VAT on new cars, so none of us know any eighteen-year-olds who own a car.

Girl #2:  “A car? How old is he?”

Girl #1: *Proudly* “Twenty-six!”

Me: “Gaaah!”

Girl #2: “Eeeeew!”

Girl #3: “Whaaaat?”

Me: “What the h*** do you want with a twenty-six-year-old man?”

Girl #2: “What the h*** does a twenty-six-year-old man want with you?!

[Girl #1] is still fiercely proud, despite our reactions.

Girl #1:He says I am very mature for my age.”

We all give her a silent stare for a moment. We have known her for years. She is NOT mature for her age; the queen bee thing, among other things, is a good example. [Girl #1] seems to understand the silence correctly, as she is now going quiet.

Girl #2: “Can you imagine being a twenty-six-year-old man and having to explain to your mates that you are dating a girl who is sixteen years old?”

Me: “They’ll say it’s because he can’t handle a grown-up woman.”

The age of consent in Denmark was and is fifteen, but it isn’t exactly normal to date at fifteen.

One of the boys in our class walks by and asks what we are talking about. When [Girl #2] says it is about [Girl #1] dating a twenty-six-year-old man with a car, he gives [Girl #1] a “What the f***?” look and goes away again. 

[Girl #1] broke up with the man the same day. Apparently, the main reason she was dating him was to impress the rest of us. She still thinks she was the queen bee and wants to talk about it at class reunions. It is sad, really.

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