When They Go Low, You Go Lower

(It is around Christmas when Michelle Obama’s book, “Becoming,” has come out. When a book is released in hardcover, it’ll usually be a year or two — depending on how popular the book is — before it’s released in paperback. It’ll usually come out in paperback when it’s printed in large print. I know for a fact that we don’t have any large-print copies because my manager hadn’t ordered them.)

Female Customer: “Um, excuse me! Do you have Michelle Obama’s new book in paperback?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid it’s only available in hardcover.”

Customer: “What is with you bookstores and only having it in hardcover?! Ain’t nobody can afford that!” *walks off in a huff*

(Five minutes later, she appears with five books in her hand.)

Customer: “Uh, b****! I found this in paperback!” *answers her phone that is ringing* “Girl, I found this book in paperback. This dumb, fat b**** told me they didn’t! So, uh!” *snaps her fingers in victory in my face as I’m ringing her up*

Me: *tells her the total and the rest of the transaction goes normally, and then she leaves*

Coworker: “Did you tell her that those paperbacks are in Spanish?”

Me: “No.”