The Burning Need To Pee

(I am working as a janitor during college in the student union building on campus. I have closed the bathroom to clean it, blocking the entrance to the bathroom with a spring-loaded pole that goes across the opening and a flag hanging down it saying, “Restroom closed.” I have just sprayed phosphoric acid cleaner in the bowls and on the seats of the toilets, and I have to let it sit to clean and neutralize before washing it off. In the meantime, I start on the sinks. A woman comes in with her daughter who seems to be three or so.)

Woman: “Excuse me, is the bathroom closed?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

(She must have walked under a bar that literally said so to ask me this.)

Woman: “Well, my daughter needs to use the restroom.”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s closed.”

Woman: “But she has to go potty.”

Me: “I understand it’s hard when kids just have to go, but I just put phosphoric acid cleaner on the toilets. If she were to use them, she would get chemical burns. There is another bathroom on the next floor up.”

Woman: “She can’t wait.”

Me: “There’s nothing I can do about this.”

Woman: “I’m going to use this one.”

Me: *standing in front of her* “Look, I’ve gotten this cleaner inside my gloves on accident before and it burns. I can’t let your daughter sit on it.”

Woman: “It will be okay.”

Me: “Go upstairs. You could have made it there in this time.”

Woman: *leaving* “If she wets herself, it’s your fault.”

Me: “Better wetting herself than having chemical burns on her legs and bottom!”