Pursuant to local law, we are currently requiring face coverings while customers are in the shop.
Associate: “Can you please put your mask back on?”
Customer: “Oh, okay, yeah. I just took it off because I needed to cough.”
This story is part of our Anti-Masker roundup.
Read the next Anti-Masker roundup story!
Read the Anti-Masker roundup!
My boyfriend and I are helping my parents and a couple of aunts and uncles clean out my grandma’s old house so we can put it on the market. Since my grandma’s cat died a few years ago, she’s switched to using mouse traps, which just aren’t as effective, and we’ve been finding periodic mouse nests in the basement and attic.
As an unexpected bonus, my family offers that if my boyfriend and I want any of the stuff that’s been left behind, we’re welcome to it; anything we don’t take is getting donated. Since we just moved in together, we’re still working on setting up a household, and we happily amass a pile of pots, pans, tools, bookshelves, books, and, my favorite find of the day, two pairs of cross-country skis and poles. One pair of boots is too small for him, but the other pair will just about fit me, so when we take a break for lunch, I take them outside to check the condition.
Me: “They look pretty good! I’m guessing the mice found them, though. Once I empty out the mouse beans, they should be fine.”
Boyfriend: *Laughing* “Mouse beans? That’s a very polite way of putting it!”
Me: “Huh? What do you mean?”
Boyfriend: “Mouse beans? Definitely the cutest way of describing mouse poop I’ve heard.”
Me: *Laughing, too* “No, I’m being very literal. Here, look.”
Sure enough, the left ski boot was full of perfectly clean, dry pinto beans that the mouse must have stolen from my grandma’s pantry and cached for winter! Once my boyfriend got over his surprise, he had a good laugh, and the boots were in perfect condition, not a shredded corner or piece of mouse poop to be found. Apparently, mice follow the “don’t s*** where you eat” rule!
I work for a company that administers retirement benefits and I deal with a lot of simpletons on a daily basis. This man gets mad at me because he feels I’m not helping him fill out forms.
The paperwork comes with a checklist of which forms are needed. After trying several times — while he keeps interrupting — to tell him to take out the checklist so we can go through it together, I snap and tell him, “I’m trying to help but you keep interrupting me, so what exactly did you call us for?”
He finally shut up and let me assist.
A grumpy old lady realizes she has a leaking cooking spray.
Customer: “I need a new one of these! You see? It’s leaking. You get me a new one!”
Me: “I can’t get it myself, but I will call someone to help you, ma’am. Give me about two minutes to get this machine sorted out.”
I fix the alcohol sale I am working on and run up to my podium to call a supervisor. It hasn’t even been forty-five seconds and she is shoving the can in my face as six machines simultaneously alert for age-verifications.
Customer: “WHERE IS MY REPLACEMENT?! YOU ARE F****** USELESS! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR SERVICE!”
Me: “My name is on my badge. See? When you contact corporate, can you ask them how one person is expected to run eleven machines alone? Oh, and tell them our manager says we have too many cashiers. Thanks!”
I dashed off to continue doing my job and yelled her register number at my supervisor as they came over. In total, her transaction was only delayed about two minutes, and she grumped her way out of the store, only to lose her receipt in the parking lot. By then, I couldn’t print her a new one because the machine was in use again.
I have yet to hear back from my bosses about the fact that six cashiers is “too many” for a store with forty-three total registers.
Related:
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 11
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 10
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 9
We have a national coin shortage due to the health crisis. As a result, our self-checkouts are credit or debit card only. There are bright orange signs in front of the self-checkout area and at each station.
As soon as you scan your first item, there is a prompt reminding you that it’s cards only and asking if you want to proceed. You have to press “no” or “yes” to continue. “Yes” is the second option.
Having read many stories of people managing to ignore the most blatant signs on this site, I have to ask the person manning the area a question.
Me: “Do people still try to pay with cash?”
Cashier: “All day long!”
Related:
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout, Part 3
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout, Part 2
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout
