My fiancé and I are switching cell phone carriers, so we go to a physical store location to do so. There is currently only one employee on duty who is helping us, and when another customer comes in to have his screen protector on his phone replaced, she excuses herself to help him since his transaction will be fairly quick. She leaves us with forms to fill out so we’re not just standing there doing nothing, and we obviously don’t mind since she is there alone. The store is otherwise empty.

She is finishing up with the other customer when a female customer throws open the front door and marches in quite aggressively.

Employee: “Hi!”

Female Customer: “Never mind; I’ll just call!”

Employee: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

Female Customer: “You’re all customers, aren’t you?! You’re all waiting?!”

My fiancé and I and the second customer sort of look at each other. I gesture that my fiancé and I are together and already being helped.

Female Customer: “Ugh, and you’re the only one working?!”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, but I’m just finishing this up now; I can help you.”

Female Customer: “Forget it! You’re too busy; I’ll just call. This is ridiculous!”

She storms back out the door. The employee looks defeated and sighs.

Me: “Don’t worry. She was angry before she even walked in the door.”

Employee: “The funny part is, she’s coming in to pay her bill, which she could have done online or by calling or mailing it in.”

Me: “And yet she drove all the way down here just to storm in and scream at you for being so busy.”

I have applied to a work-from-home customer service position and they email me to schedule an interview. I schedule and promptly forget about it. I have also been receiving numerous scammer calls a day and am getting fed up. So, after quite a bit of reading on Not Always Right, I decide to use one of the bits I find there to answer the next scammer calls I receive.

The first time it happens, the scammer promptly hangs up and I happily go about my day. Then, the next number that I don’t recognize calls, and I happily answer.

Me: “Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers! You have the dough and we have the blow!”

Interviewer: “Um… Oh… Um… I need to speak to [My Name]?”

Me: “Sorry, who am I speaking with?”

Interviewer: “This is [Interviewer] from [Company], calling for a phone interview?”

Me: *Stunned* “Oh, my God, I’m so, so, so sorry. I’ve been getting so many scammer calls that I’ve been trying to make them hang up.”

Interviewer: *Laughing* “No worries! If you want to proceed with the interview, we can. Just please repeat that line to me at the end of the interview. I could really use something for those scammer calls, too!”

I aced the interview and was offered a job a week later. So glad I didn’t scare her off!

Me: “Would you like white bread or wheat bread?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Later:

Customer: “I’ll have a Coke.”

Me: “In a can or bottle?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

We are a sit-down restaurant and I am the host. A teenage boy, aged seventeen to nineteen, walks in and asks for a table for one. Shortly after sitting down and getting his water, he suddenly gets up and walks out the door without speaking to his server, myself, or anyone else. 

I watch him to see if he is smoking, but instead, he quickly walks down the sidewalk and to the parking lot. He never comes back, so we clean his table, cancel his order, and seat the table with new guests.

Thirty minutes later, the same teenage guest walks quickly into the restaurant and starts to make a beeline for his table when I cut him off.

Me: “Um, sir, you left for a while — about thirty minutes — so we gave your table to other guests.”

He looks at me as if I’m stupid and should have known he was coming back.

Me: “Did you still want to sit down? I can get you a new table, but I apologize; your old table is not available.”

Customer: “Yes.”

I walk him to a new booth.

Me: “Did you want the same food still?”

He is still looking at me like I’m stupid.

Customer: “…Yes.”

Me: “I will let your server know. Again, I apologize. We thought you left since it had been thirty minutes, but by chance, did you let your server know you were leaving?”

Customer: “No, I ordered salmon and it takes twenty to thirty minutes to make!”

He is looking at me now like I’m a complete idiot for not knowing this. I stare at him in disbelief for a good five seconds before stammering out:

Me: “Right. I’ll get your server now.”

Thankfully, it was a slow night and we were able to make his food — a glazed salmon salad — within minutes. The guest later told the server that the food was great.

I am working the concessions stand when the theater first opens up for the day. A family consisting of a mother, a father, a son who is probably around ten, and a daughter who is around three approaches me.

Mother: “Hey, could we get a #2—” *a large popcorn and two large drinks* “—but instead of one of the large drinks can we get two regular drinks?”

Me: “Yes, I can ring you up for a #1—” *a large popcorn and one large drink* “—and add on the two regular drinks.”

Mother: “No, I want the #2, but I want two regular drinks instead of one of the large drinks.”

Me: *Confused* “Yeah, that’s what I’m ringing you up for. A large popcorn, one large drink, and two regular drinks.”

Mother: *Rolls her eyes* “No. I want the #2, but instead of one of the large drinks, I want two regular cups. The large cups are too big for her to carry.”

She points to the little girl. Our large cups are very big; they’re basically buckets. But the father or the son, who is sharing the soda with the girl, could carry it.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the only way I can give you two regular cups is if you pay for them.”

The mother finally gives in and just gets a #2. They go to the side to fill their sodas when I hear a soda crash to the ground. The mother walks back up to the stand.

Mother: “She dropped it; could we get another cup? Maybe a regular.”

Me: *Nearly boiling with anger* “I’m sorry. I can give you another large cup, but for inventory purposes, I cannot give you a regular cup.”

I gave her the cup after she rolled her eyes again, and then I went to fill the mop bucket to clean up the spill. As I was filling the bucket up, I told my coworker and manager the story over our walkie talkies. My manager came and grabbed the bucket from me, and I returned to my post. I thought my manger was going to clean the spill up for me, but I saw her approach the mother at the butter station. My manager made her clean up the soda spill.