“Used” That Excuse Before

| Bilbao, Spain | Right | February 4, 2017

(The phone starts ringing and I pick it up.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a watch that I’d like to sell; how much will you give me?”

Me: “Well, there’s no way for me to tell how much I can pay for ‘a watch’ as the price of a watch can vary from 2 to 20,000 euros. Also, we need to consider how old it is and how much it’s been used.”

Customer: “It’s basically new! It’s never been used before. How much will you give me?”

Me: “Even if it’s new I’d still need to know the brand and the model, and check on it, sir. You’ll have to bring it to our store to negotiate a price.”

Customer: “But I just want to know how much you’ll give me. I already told you it’s brand new; it hasn’t been used before. I don’t want to go there and then come back with the watch because you’re ripping me off.”

Me: “There’s nothing I can do over the phone. If you don’t come here with it, I can’t give you a price.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go there later.”

(He indeed came that same day, a few hours later. He hands me the watch’s box.)

Customer: “How much will you give me? It’s new.”

Me: “Well, let’s take a look at it, shall we?”

(I open the box and check the watch. It’s fully functional but it’s obviously been used a lot, as there’s plenty of scratches in the glass, hits here and there, and some stains of solid sweat.)

Me: “Man, this isn’t ‘new’ by any definition of that word.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve worn it once or twice, but that’s about it.”

Me: “Look, I’m not saying this is broken, but this is not a watch that’s been on your wrist once or twice. Look here, see this? This is sweat. When you use it continuously it solidifies here, but it takes a while to happen.”

Customer: “So what? Of course I’ve used it before! This is a pawn shop! You don’t expect me to sell something that’s actually unused, don’t you?”

Out Of Favor With The Law

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | May 17, 2016

(I work in a pawn shop where people can put items as collateral against loans, and when they do they can pay them off whenever they want but they can’t get their stuff back until a legally required seven day hold has finished, even if they’ve loaned the exact same item multiple times.)

Customer: “Hey, can you do me favour?”

Me: “Maybe?”

Customer: “My loan’s been in for six days. Can I get it out? I know it’s early but I’ve had it in before.”

Me: “It’s the law, man; we have to hold it for seven days every time.”

Customer: “I’m not talking about the law, man. I just need a favour.”

Me: “Your favour… requires me to break the law.”

Don’t Like The Game He Is Playing

| ON, Canada | Working | April 18, 2016

(My friend and I learn about a new pawn shop with an extensive video game collection. It’s full of vintage and highly collectable stuff, and as a collector, I’m very interested in buying quite a few things. This takes place on my first visit.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if I could look at your Playstation 2 games? They don’t seem to be anywhere.”

Owner: “I keep them behind the counter. No one buys them.”

Me: “Can I see them?”

Owner: “No! I don’t want to put them back in the bins when you’re done with them!”

Me: “Um… I could just put them back.”

Owner: “No way; you could steal something.”

(So, after being accused of being a thief, I leave without buying anything. On the second visit…)

Friend: *drops some change down the stairs* “Sorry, my hands are sweaty.”

Owner: “Yeah… Hehe, ‘sweaty.’”

(Repulsed, we leave without buying anything. The third time around, I go in with the intent of buying a specific game that they have for the cheapest price in town. While I’m in there, I see an older game I want, too, so I’m willing to spend a decent amount of money.)

Me: “This newer game has some weird colouration to the back of the disc, like it’s been damaged or something. What is your return policy if it doesn’t work?”

Owner: “We don’t have one.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Owner: *sighs* “I suppose you could bring it back TOMORROW if it’s broken.”

Me: “That’s not going to work for me. I work tomorrow, and a one-day return policy isn’t helpful to anyone that has a job.”

Owner: “Not my problem. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it.”

Me: “That sounds fine to me.”

(I left without buying anything. Obviously he’s afraid of making money, because he’s done just about everything possible to scare away his customers. I’ve never seen a car in the parking lot, so I must not be the only one.)

‘That One’ Time It Almost Worked

| TX, USA | Right | February 27, 2016

(A customer and her young daughter are looking at the jewelry. I go over and ask if they’d like to see any pieces.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Yes, please. Could I see the white gold ring in the box closest to you, third row, on the left?”

Me: “No problem! You know, I love how you described it to me. Most adults just wave vaguely and say ‘that one.’”

Customer: “I want to see one, too.” *waves vaguely* “That one.”

Putting The Wolf Into Wolf-Whistle

| CO, USA | Romantic | November 14, 2015

(I work as a pawn broker for a locally owned pawn shop, and because of a bet last year, I now wear a different costume every day I work during the month of October. My customers are pretty cool about it, and it works for advertising as people sometimes come in just to see what I’m wearing. All of my costumes are work appropriate and family friendly, as we’re a family oriented shop. On this particular day, I was wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume, which consisted of a long blue dress, white tights, and a large red cape.)

Me: *walks in for work, not even clocked in yet, and says hi to my coworker and the customer he’s helping* “Hey, good morn—”

Customer: *wolf whistles at me* “Ooh, honey, I’ll be your wolf!”

(I and my coworker stare at him dumbfounded until he leaves.)

Me: “Did… did that just happen?

(Because I am so creeped out by that one statement, I change my Little Red Riding Hood costume to jeans, a button up black shirt, a faux-fur collar and the cape. Another day:)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: *gives me a gross grin* “Oooh, honey! You need a wolf?”

Me: *after he leaves, face-desks* “Why does this keep happening to me?!”

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