Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 5

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I work as a bartender at a place that is known for buffalo wings. Often when we are slow, they put the bartender in charge of takeout to let the cashier go home. Our computer system requires that we input a phone number and name for all to-go orders before getting to the order screen. Also, we have over twenty different sauces and dry rubs available for our wings. This conversation happens about once a week for a good couple of months.

Me: “[Restaurant], [Location], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’ll take ten buffalo.”

Me: “Are you looking to place a to-go order?”

Caller: “Yeah.”

Me: “Can I start off with a good phone number?”

They mumble through the number.

Me: “Okay, and what name can I put with this order?”

They give their name.

Me: “All right, what can I get for you today?”

Caller: “Ten buffalo.”

Me: “Are you looking for our traditional or boneless wings today?”

Caller: “Traditional.”

Me: “All right, and what size would you like? We have four different sizes, and the counts for the wings are about five, ten, fifteen, twenty.”

Caller: “Ten.”

Me: “Okay, and you said you wanted them in buffalo? Buffalo is our dry rub; are you looking for our dry rub today or one of our wet sauces?”

Caller: “Wet.”

Me: “We have four different buffalo-flavored wet sauces: Mild, Medium, Hot, and Wild. Which one would you like?”

Caller: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “They all taste like buffalo; the only difference is the heat level.”

Caller: “Medium.”

Me: “All right, and did you want any ranch, blue cheese, celery, or carrots today?”

Caller: “Ranch.”

Me: “All righty, can I get you anything else today?”

Caller: “Yeah, ten BBQ.”

I facepalmed, knowing that I’d have to start the process over again at traditional or boneless wings and that we have four different BBQ sauces.

Related:
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 4
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 3
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 2
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem

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Math Is Your Friend, Part 7

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2021

Customer: “The sign says these books are three for $10, but the price stickers say $3.33 each. Which is it?”

Related:
Math Is Your Friend, Part 6
Math Is Your Friend, Part 5
Math Is Your Friend, Part 4
Math Is Your Friend, Part 3
Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

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Being Nice Is Just Ornamental

, , , , , | Right | December 25, 2020

I work for a department store at the customer service desk. It’s a busy Saturday and a woman about my age, in her early thirties, comes to pick up an online order: some Christmas ornaments. I hand her the box and we both realize it is damaged.

Customer: “Oh, the box is damaged. Can I check to see if the ornaments are okay?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you sure can.”

Customer: “Okay, the ornaments seem fine. I’m going to go check to see if y’all have another one and exchange it for one without a broken box.”

Me: “That’s absolutely fine. Here is your receipt, and you can exchange it at any register.”

Customer: “Thank you so much!”

The following Tuesday, we get a negative review from a customer about the day she came in to get her online order. As I am listening to my boss read it, I realized it is my customer from that Saturday.

Review: “I went in to pick up my online order and the box was damaged. The girl never offered to go get me another one and told me to go find one and exchange it at a different register. I had to wait in another long line to get it exchanged and this is completely unacceptable.”

Luckily, my boss heard what really happened and threw out the negative review. So much for being nice.

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PIN-Headed, Part 16

, , , , | Right | November 5, 2020

Customer: “Can I purchase lottery tickets on a credit card?”

Me: “No, ma’am. However, you can on a debit card.”

Customer: “Okay, no problem.”

I ring them up and tell her the total, and she swipes her card.

Customer: “Why is it asking for a PIN? I don’t have one.”

Me: “All debit cards ask for one.”

Customer: “It hasn’t before. Why can’t you do credit?”

Me: “You can get lottery tickets on debit, not credit.”

Customer: “But I don’t have a PIN for this card.”

She keeps saying that over and over. Then:

Customer: “Wait, what if I use the number I use at the ATM to get money?”

Me: “Maybe…”

Customer: “Yay, it worked!” 

Me: “…”

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 15
PIN-Headed, Part 14
PIN-Headed, Part 13
PIN-Headed, Part 12
PIN-Headed, Part 11

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You Don’t Have To Be A Doctor Of Pepper To Know This

, , , | Right | November 5, 2020

A customer orders a Hi-C orange and a Dr. Pepper with her meals. She then pulls around to the window to get her food. I hand her her drinks and she asks:

Customer: “Which drink is which?”

Me: *Stares at her* “Well, we recently changed the Dr. Pepper to orange and the Hi-C to brown.”

Customer: “Really? That’s so cool! How did y’all do that?”

Me: *Stares at her* “No, ma’am, I’m just joking. The Hi-C orange is the orange one.”

Customer: *Laughs* “You got me.”

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