Fifty Proof Leads To Fifty Dollars

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(A patient is getting ready for discharge and needs prescriptions. A bunch of us call and make sure we can find the cheapest prices in town. This is not an easy task, as there are quite a lot of them. While at the nurses’ station, I hear this exchange:)

Nurse: “Ma’am, this is your discharge paperwork. Here are the prescriptions your doctor talked to you about. We found them cheapest at [Pharmacy] for you; it should only run you about $50. Do you have any questions?”

Patient: “I can’t afford no $50.”

(Everyone looks dumbfounded, because her extremely expensive alcoholism is what brought her in in the first place.)

Nurse: “Well, that’s the cheapest they come, and if you don’t take them, you may end up back in the hospital.”

Patient: “That don’t matter; the government will pay for that.”

Nurse: “Still, it’s not good for your health.”

Patient: *now yelling at all the nurses present* “Y’all can’t all just pitch in and give me the $50?”

(She stayed at the nurses station for an hour until one of the nurses nearly wrote her a check out of annoyance. That poor woman. Eventually, security had to be called.)

Not Sure You Know How “Interrupting” Works

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2017

(I work at a high-priced clothing store, part time. A customer walks into the store, talking on her phone to her friend until the end of her visit.)

Customer: “Ma’am, where are the purses?”

Me: “Oh, we don’t have a certain place for them; they’re just on tables and shelves.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Is there a certain purse you were looking for?”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and says to her friend on the phone* “Girl, I am going to have to call you back. This little girl is interrupting me.”

Liquid Karma

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(We are allowed to say something to a guest if they litter in our drive through, especially if it’s at the window.)

Customer: *dumps can of drink out at my window*

Me: *hands him his change, and some coins fall on the ground*  “Sorry about that, some of them will be wet because people rudely pour their drinks out in my drive through.”

Customer: “Uh, oh, sorry about that.”

Why Do Any Of Us Say Anything?

, , , , | Working | September 14, 2017

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $5.50, please.”

Customer #1: *handing me a $5* “That’s it. I don’t have the fifty cents.”

(She clearly expects me to be okay with not getting the change. Having never encountered this situation before, I freeze for a moment as my mind tries to come up with a coherent response.)

Customer #1: *suddenly looking embarrassed* “Wait a minute! Why did I say that!? Here!”

(She hands me a $1 bill, and we both laugh as I give her change back, and we wish each other a good day as she leaves. I ring up the next customer, who also pays in cash.)

Me: *handing him his change* “If you’ll sign right here please… Wait, why did I say that!?”

Wouldn’t Hurt To Try The Gangsta Lifestyle

, , , , | Working | September 10, 2017

(The roll of paper in our credit card machine is about to run out, so I ask my coworker to grab me a new one. She opens the cabinet without moving aside, and leans over the door in such a way that it digs into her.)

Coworker: “…ow.”

Me: “Don’t hurt yourself!”

Coworker: “Can’t hurt a gangsta!”

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