Calling On The Spider Phone

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2017

(The shopping plaza our store is in also has a pet store. Because of this, the manager allows customers to bring in their pets. It’s an otherwise boring afternoon when I get this call…)

Me: “Kitchens.”

Caller: *sounds like a grade-school age kid* “Um, hello, I was in your store earlier and I, um, I think I lost my pet tarantula in your department.”

Me: “Pet… tarantula?”

Caller: “Yes, I bought him from the pet store, and he crawled out of his cage in your store.”

(I decide to play along. That pet store doesn’t carry tarantulas.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll look for him. Can I have your number so I can call you back when I find him?”

Caller: *panics* “No, I don’t want him anymore!”

Me: “Oooh, then can I keep him? I’ve always wanted a pet tarantula.”

Caller: *click*

Needs An Extendable Range Of Customer Service

, , , , | Working | August 31, 2017

(My wife, our child, and I are in a home improvement type of store getting a paint sample. While it’s mixing, we go to look at microwaves in the appliance department, as we know we will need to replace ours soon. My wife is looking for a specific kind that has an extendable range on it, since our current one [which is mounted over the stove] has a very short range hood on it. We don’t see any that have this feature, so she goes to ask an employee and comes back to where I’m standing, with the employee following. The employee looks to be about middle-aged, not a teenager or young person in anyway.)

Employee: “Extendable range hood… I don’t know what that is. I don’t know that they make something like that.”

(My wife is walking down the row of microwaves and finds one that has the word “Push” listed under the door. The range pops out underneath.)

Wife: “Oh, like this one. This is an extendable range. Do you have anymore like this?”

Employee: “Oh wow… what does this do?”

Me: “It catches the smoke and vapor that comes off cooking food from the stove.”

Employee: “Well, you learn something new everyday. I’m going to say we probably don’t have anymore like this.” *sees our baby in the stroller* “Oh, he is so cute. Look how he smiles.”

Me: “Yeah, he is cute. So, this one has four sensors and this one has seven. Is the extra three sensors worth the hundred dollars more?”

Employee: *still looking at our baby* “My daughter is sixteen, but I remember when she was this age.”

Me: “Great. Anyway, this is a 2400-watt microwave; is there any reason in the world why the average person would want this?”

Employee: “I used to tickle my nephew’s feet when he was a baby.”

Me: *to my wife* “She is not hearing a word I’m saying. Let’s go.”

Me: *to the employee* “All right, we’ll be going now.”

Employee: “My daughter and I are like the Gilmore Girls!”

(She continues to talk while we are leaving the area, and as we continue to get further away her volume gets louder so we can hear her. At this point, we have left the department and are heading back to the painting area.)

Employee: *yelling because of the distance* “Your baby is so cute though!”

(I don’t believe I’ll buy any appliances from her.)

Unfiltered Story #91957

, , | Unfiltered | August 26, 2017

I work in the lumber department of a big box home improvement store, and there is one other lumber associate at the time helping other customers. A lady that looks in her 60s comes and is asking me for items to make shelves. She is really demanding, clueless, cheap, and indecisive and I take her all around the department to explain the difference between using plywood, 2-inch and 1-inch wood, or pre-cut shelves. I am in the 1-inch aisle trying to get her to understand the difference between pine priced per piece and hardwood priced per foot, when a regular customer (a man in his 50s) that has been waiting patiently for a couple minutes cuts in.

Man: “I have a quick question, where is [type of product for which there is two types]?”

Me: “I can answer quickly, but first which type… ”

Woman (rudely to Man): “Excuse, me but he was with me first. You’re really rude for interrupting us before we are done.

Man: “I’m really rude? You’re the one who is rude! I just have a quick question and then he can go back with you since you’ve been hogging him.”

– Both customers look at me basically to see who I side with and I stand speechless for a minute

Woman: “Well where I come from it is rude to cut in on customer until they are done with the salesperson.”

Man (now shouting): Listen lady, you’re the one who is rude, any decent person would let him answer a simple question first and then go back to you”

– At this point they are both standing tall and I swear they are about to come to blows. To cut the tension, I speak up:

Me: (to man) “I was with this this lady first. There is someone on the back saw, he can help you when he is done with his customer or I will help you when I am done with this customer, whoever is done first.

Man: (obviously annoyed with the lady not me): “Fine, whatever” and walks away

Woman: “Thank you. That man was really rude, wouldn’t you agree?”

– It wanted to say that both of them were rude, but I ignored the question and I spend another 10 min with the lady to help her decide and finally get some hardwood laminated plywood and take it to the panel saw to cut. While cutting, I see the man pass by and I politely say I will be with him shortly. Both customers eye each other with evil eyes. The lady repeatedly makes snide remarks about the man to me but intentionally loud enough for the man to hear as he walks away. I finish cutting for the lady and have 1/2 the board left in large scraps left over from cutting out the shelves to size.

Me: “Do you want the left over pieces.”

Lady: “What do you do with scraps if I don’t want them?”

Me: “We usually keep on a cart and offer to customers free if they want them. Since you are paying for the whole piece, we can’t resell them, and if there are leftovers at the end of the day, we throw them away.

Lady: “Ok, you can give them away to anyone… except that rude man.”

The lady takes her cart and walks away but the register is in sight of the saw. The man comes to the saw with some OSB (cheaper than plywood than the lady got) and has apparently answered his own question from earlier.

Man: “Man that b**** was crazy. Anyway, I need this cut to [about the same size as the scraps from the lady]. Actually, what are those scraps, can I have them?

Me (not knowing how to say this tactfully and at the same time not laugh): “Um, actually they are from that lady and normally we give the scraps away, but, umm… she specifically said not to give them to you. However, I’ll wait until she leaves the store and then I will give them to you.”

Man: “That’s Ok, I wouldn’t even want anything from that crazy b*** anyway. Just cut it out of the boards I grabbed”

I cut for him and he leaves his scraps and now I have a whole board worth of scraps that I end up throwing out at the end of the day (it’s actually sad how much stuff we end up throwing away each day)

You’ve Met Your Match

, , , | Right | August 25, 2017

(One afternoon near the paint department, a nice, neat, fashionable couple in their thirties approach me.)

Woman: “We’re looking for felt pads.”

Me: “Yes, here they are. You have a variety of shapes. These are cut in circles, and rectangles. This one is a big sheet you can cut to match what you need.”

(I point to the various packages on an end cap.)

Man: “Do you have any other colours?”

Me: “No. They only come in this colour.”

Woman: “You see, we were looking for something darker, to match our furniture.”

Man: “Yes, our furniture is a darker oak, and we wanted the pads to match. Do you have any others?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. Mind you, they are under the furniture and totally out of sight.”

Woman: “We really want it to match.”

Me: “You could colour them if you wanted.”

Man: “No, that wouldn’t be the same. Are you sure you don’t have any darker ones?”

Woman: “We really want them to match the furniture.”

(And so on. After several minutes, I left them to discuss it among themselves.)

They Finally Nailed It

, , , | Right | August 17, 2017

(I work in the hardware department. This means mostly screws, nuts, and bolts. An older woman come in.)

Customer: “I need a screw that I can bend to hang up a line from.”

Me: “What is the line for?”

Customer: “I want to hang a line to dry some clothes.”

Me: “In that case I can suggest a screw hook.” *I show it to her*

Customer: “No. That’s not what I want.”

(After showing her as many possible screws as I can think of, she gets quite mad.)

Customer: ” NO, I want a screw that you hammer in!”

(Pause.)

Me: “Do you want a nail?”

Customer: *looks me up and down and then says with disgust* “Well, if that’s what you call it!”

Page 3/3712345...Last
« Previous
Next »