Like Turning Down Your Radio To Read The Street Signs

, , , , , | Learning | April 19, 2021

I am a teacher working with kids and teenagers ages ten to nineteen. Because of sensory processing issues, I sometimes struggle with auditory and/or visual input if the environment I am in is too noisy or crowded. However, this usually does not affect my job much, except for having to ask students, “Could you please repeat what you said? My brain didn’t get that,” every now and then. I am also very open about this and explain my situation to new students at the beginning of the school year.

One day, I am walking through a crowded hallway at school, when I suddenly hear some yelling behind me. I turn around to see two of my students who are in twelfth grade approaching me.

Student #1: “Ms. [My Name]! Ms. [My Name]!”

Me: “Hey, guys, what’s up?”

Student #1: *Pretending to be offended* “We just wanted to say hi! You walked past us several times. We’ve been waving and saying good morning every time, but you keep ignoring us! That’s not nice!”

Student #2: “Idiot! Stop bugging her! You know she can’t see anything when it is too loud!”

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Notes? That Sounds Like Work!

, , , , | Learning | April 14, 2021

I teach people to use various computer programs. There are usually some official manuals for these courses, but once in a while, important information is not in there.

Today, I’m teaching a group of high school teachers. They all have been issued the manual, as well as a legal pad and a pen. One of the subjects required by their employer is not covered by the manual.

I tell them that and that I will write it down on the flip chart. I cover the subject slowly and put every step on the flip chart. I am careful to use colors to make sure they understand where they have to substitute their names and information and where there are pitfalls to avoid. The resulting instruction has six steps, and while I put them down, there is some moaning.

At the end, one of the participants huffs in indignation.

Participant: “How am I supposed to remember all these steps!”

I am somewhat perplexed.

Me: “Well, you could write them down?”

There were more moans. I wonder if those teachers occasionally complain about their lazy and stupid students.

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It Doesn’t Even Sound Good On Paper

, , , | Right | April 12, 2021

It is early in the morning and I am working alone, with no customers in the store. An older man comes in and I am already opening my mouth to say my usual greeting. The man speaks before I can, not having looked around once nor saying hello. 

Customer: “You do not have what I need!”

He wanted normal tea filters out of paper. I work in a tea shop.

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Childish Mistakes

, , , | Healthy | April 11, 2021

A few weeks ago, I had to have a hysterectomy. I have no children, never wanted children, and am almost too old to have them. Also, if I can now live my life free of period pains, I’m all for it. But I know that it is a sensitive issue for many women.

While wheeling me along to the operation, the male nurse asks:

Nurse #1: “Do you have kids?”

Me: “No.”

Nurse #1: “Me, neither. It is really sad. A life without children isn’t really worthwhile.”

Dude, don’t tell this to a woman about to have her womb taken out.

Later, when they take me for a scan, a nurse says:

Nurse #2: “So, you’ve just given birth, right?”

Me: “No. No, I haven’t.”

When I talked to my gynecologist, she was flabbergasted. And rightly so. I mean, it wasn’t a big deal for me. But really, maybe be more sensitive next time.

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Insure He Has The Knowledge

, , | Right | April 8, 2021

I work in an insurance office. It has been a stormy night, so people call for notification of claim.

Caller: “Hello. My name is [Caller], and because of the storm, the roofing felt on my shed came off. I need to know what to do now.”

Me: “We need some pictures of the damage and an estimate of costs, or an invoice if the damage has been repaired already.”

Caller: “No, no, you need to tell me what I have to do now.”

Me: “If you provide us with the pictures and an invoice, we can pay for your costs instantly.”

Caller: *Getting irritated* “No, I need to know what to do right now!”

Me: “We cannot cover your expenses if we don’t know how much they are. And we need the picture as proof for your claim.”

Caller: “You don’t seem to understand! You need to tell me HOW TO FIX MY ROOF!”

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