Won’t Stand For It

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(I’m a passenger in a very overcrowded train going from Leipzig to Berlin. The train left the station ten minutes late and even more people get in. Two passengers check their reservations and ask a couple to vacate their seats.)

Standing Passengers: “Give us these seats. We reserved them.”

Sitting Passengers: “Strange, we also reserved these seats. Maybe you are in the wrong car?”

Standing Passengers: “No, these are our seats.”

Sitting Passengers: “We are sorry, but these are not your seats. Here, see? These are the reservations for these seats.”

(This keeps going for another minute, the standing passengers are getting louder, so that the whole car can listen to their shouting. Meanwhile, the train starts moving and the conductor appears.)

Conductor: “Good afternoon. What seems to be the problem here?”

Standing Passengers: “These people are sitting in our seats and won’t give them to us.”

(The sitting passengers are trying to get a word in but are interrupted by the standing passengers. They quietly hand their tickets and reservations to the conductor.)

Conductor: *to the standing passengers* “I’m sorry, but these passengers reserved these seats. Can I please see your tickets?”

Standing Passengers: *hand over their tickets, while complaining about the train service in general* “This is unacceptable. We reserved these seats. We want to be compensated!”

Conductor: “I’m sorry, I found the problem. You booked seats on the train that is leaving for Berlin in five minutes.”

Standing Passengers: “But this train goes to Berlin.”

Conductor: “Yes, this train also goes to Berlin but it was delayed and so the departure times of both trains were nearly identically.”

Standing Passengers: “But we booked seats. It’s unacceptable for us to stand.”

Conductor: “Well, it’s the book fair in Leipzig today and therefore the train is full. There are a lot of people standing.”

Standing Passengers: “This is unacceptable and bad service.”

Conductor: “Well, you are in the wrong train. I cannot do anything about that.”

Standing Passengers: “How rude! Give us your name, so we can complain to Deutsche Bahn.”

Conductor: “Gladly, my name is [Conductor].”

(Lots of people started sniggering and the standing passengers ran off to the next car. I really would have liked to listen in on their telephone call with the complaint department.)

Just Phoning In That Apology

, , | Right | January 23, 2019

(It is about 2:00 pm on a weekday and I get a phone call at my desk.)

Me: “Hello. This is [My Name] from [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I dialed the wrong number; you should apologize!”

Me: “Could you please repeat that?”

Caller: “I said you should apologize because I misdialed!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: *click*

Unfiltered Story #137118

, | Unfiltered | January 23, 2019

(I’m working as a cashier at a store on a military base, and when the front check out is not busy we are able to process returns and exchanges.)
Customer: Can I do a return up here instead of going to customer service?
Me: Yes, I just need your receipt.
(Looks at receipt and notices that all she bought was a pregnancy test.)
Me: Ma’am if the pregnancy test is opened I’m afraid you are not allowed to return it.
Customer: But the test did not work, and I want my money back.
Me: What do you mean the test did not work?
Customer: It just did not work.
(She keeps repeating that for the next minute or so.)
Me: Well if the test did not work you will have to contact the manufacture because we are not able to take a used test back.
(At this point she gets very mad at me, and starts yelling for me to get a manager. It takes a few minutes for a manager to come up to the registers.)
Manger: What seems to be the problem ma’am?
Customer: The cashier is telling me that you guys will not let me return a pregnancy test.
(He goes on to explain that because the test is used we will not be able to refund it and she needs to contact the manufacture. By this time the store manager who has been watching all of this from the security office calls my register, and tells us that we have to refund her money. That is when I knew I had to start looking for another job.)

Trying To Become A Sausage Dog

, , , , | Working | January 22, 2019

(I have a small rescue, a corgi-dachshund-chow-mix, who is a very picky eater. He basically eats everything but dog food, so we have had a hard time feeding him since we’ve only had him a few months. The dog and I are in a very posh pet store that specializes in pet food and even promotes their own brand of treat, which is a sort of “gourmet” sausage for dogs. As I am browsing the store, quite desperate to find something the dog will actually eat, an assistant approaches me and asks what I am looking for. I explain, and she clearly doesn’t like the idea of a dog being picky, as this is seen by many as a failure in training rather than a medical or personality issue.)

Assistant: “Well, your dog seems to be healthy, so I don’t see why he shouldn’t eat the food here.” *points to shelf* “But I have something here that has so far convinced everyone; he’ll definitely like it.”

(I am not convinced, especially as she is referring to the afore-mentioned sausage, which is rather expensive and almost as big as the dog himself.)

Me: “Yeah, I don’t know. If he doesn’t like it, what am I supposed to do with it?”

Assistant: *giving me a condescending look* “Well, of course we have samples!”

Me: “All right, let’s give it a try!”

(She cuts a piece of the sausage which I give to the dog. She can’t see him from behind the counter, so she asks smugly:)

Assistant: “How many do you want? He’s eating it, isn’t he?”

Me: “Um…”

(The dog had had one sniff and decided to drop on the floor and ROLL AROUND IN A PIECE OF GOURMET FOOD… looking rather happy, I must admit. I fled the store and haven’t dared to come back yet.)

Choking With Inappropriateness

, , , , | Healthy Right | January 22, 2019

(I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.)

Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

(After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.)

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