The Coworker Has Passed Their Use-By Date

, , , | Working | June 16, 2017

Customer: “These sweets, their due date will be in a few days. Can I get a discount on them?”

(They were already discounted by 50% but she wanted more.)

Cashier: “I think so. Let me just speak to my colleague.”

(She calls a coworker over and they discuss for a moment until the coworker takes all the sweets and takes them to the back.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are you doing? I would like to buy those.”

Coworker: “I am sorry but I have to throw them away.”

Customer: “But they are still good for a few days!”

(The coworker just ignored her and left with all the sweets.)

Married To Sheldon Cooper, Part 16

, , | Romantic | June 13, 2017

(I’m the idiot in this one. My family often jokes that I’m a true cat person — not just that I like them, but that I’m neurotic like a cat as well. They DO love their routine and tend to get upset with changes. Now, my husband and I have a simple evening routine during the week. He gets ready for bed while I take care of the cats, then I get ready for bed and join him in the bedroom. The timing usually works out perfectly for me to just head into the bathroom once the cats are fed. This night, however…)

Me: *without even looking, opens bathroom door*

Husband: *chuckles* “Not done quite yet.”

Me: *stares unbelievingly* “But… you’re supposed to be in the bedroom by now.”

Husband: “I know. I’m dawdling a bit, but I’ll be out in a minute.”

Me: “But you’re not supposed to be in here anymore!”

Husband: *patiently* “Dear, why don’t you sit down and wait a minute and then it’ll all be as usual.”

Me: “But you don’t understand. We have a routine. You didn’t follow the routine.”

Husband: *sighs and closes bathroom door in my face*

Me: “ROUTINE!”

(What really made my husband break into hysterics was when he was done, he thoughtfully left the bathroom light on for me, only for me to enter the room on autopilot and promptly push the light switch, leaving me in pitch darkness. I’m sure glad he puts up with my weird ways!)

Don’t Even Starch With Me

, , , , | Working | June 11, 2017

(Our office recently switched from Styrofoam to packaging material made out of starch. Even though it looks much like Styrofoam, it’s edible. Also, while the working atmosphere here is generally good, there is one rather lazy woman that has it in for a tomboy who — justifiably — prides herself on her very strong work ethic. In fact, she’s constantly trying to badmouth her.)

Lazy Coworker: “Yesterday I was on my way to meet some friends so I drove by the office and guess who still was here at 8:30 pm. Right, [Hard Working Coworker]?”

Me: “Okay?! Yes, she had an important deadline yesterday. Looks like she finished that project, though.”

Lazy Coworker: “It’s not just yesterday. I mean… [Hard Working Coworker] should get a life already! Some more months and she’ll move in here. She never even goes to lunch break with the rest of us.”

Me: “If you say so. She does good work and that’s what counts, right?”

Lazy Coworker: “Still, doesn’t she—”

(Suddenly said coworker comes through the open door behind our desks. The lazy coworker isn’t sure whether our coworker heard her rant, so she quickly switches her play.)

Lazy Coworker: *deceitfully* “Hey, we were just talking about you. Do you want to grab some food with us? Or should we bring something for you? We were thinking about kebab.”

(Hard Working Coworker grabs a nearby carton of starch packaging material and starts eating it like chips while keeping a straight face. The lazy coworker, who, by the looks of it, doesn’t know it is edible, looks at her in shock.)

Coworker: “No, thank you, but since I’m apparently planning to move in here, I need to make do with what I can find inside the office.”

(She walked away, still eating the packaging material. I immediately burst out laughing. Fortunately, this led the lazy coworker to ignore me for quite some time.)

Where Lazy Meets Lucky

, , , | Learning | June 9, 2017

(In Germany, we have to get a few weeks of work experience during our school time. We are also obligated to make a complete folder about it, with several chapters (introducing the company we work for, the workers themselves, writing essays about at least two days of work and taking tons of pictures). I, being the s**t-head I am, am not looking forward to it and don’t do a thing until it is two days after the deadline. I write the whole thing in about two and a half hours, before I have another lesson with the teacher supervising our working experiences. Since I am in a bilingual class, we have to do half of the folder in English, too. This is the feedback I get for it:)

Teacher: “And here are your folders! I’m sorry it took such a long time to grade them. As always, the results are varied, but I was more than pleasantly surprised by one of your works.”

(Starts handing out folders, talking briefly to everyone about their grades.)

Teacher: *to me, loudly* “And [My Name]! Your folder was a little special, wasn’t it?”

(I’m basically expecting to get scolded for turning it in late and being sloppy. I didn’t even proofread the thing, for Heaven’s sakes.)

Me: “…it was?”

Teacher: “Yes! In all my years as a teacher — and that were a lot of years, as you all can see — I have never seen a single work that was this good! This is the first time I gave anyone a A+. You wrote the whole thing in English, your grammar and spelling were perfect, the way you wrote was creative and entertaining, the order of the pictures was great and complementing the story, and honestly, I am more than happy that I got to read this. Thank you. This really showed me that after all these years of teaching, I still love my job.”

Me: *sincerely* “Thank you, Mr. [Teacher]. I put a lot of effort and work into it.”

(That man was one of the kindest teachers I ever met, and eventually was the first person I gave one of my short stories to. At that point, he only had three years left before he retired. He wasn’t the best teacher in the world, but he sure was one of the best people. Unfortunately, he passed away before he retired and could take his trip around the USA to live out his passion for photography. Thank you for always being positive and nice, even though you had to deal with lazy dip-s**ts like me.)

Good People Are Noticed When Bad Things Happen

, , , , | Hopeless | June 2, 2017

In this school, while the pupils have lockers, these are not big enough to keep all your things in them. So the pupils put their coats on hangers in the classroom. Usually, the classrooms are supposed to get locked up during recess, but the teachers don’t always follow through with this rule.

So, one day, my daughter comes home, having an amount of money stolen from her — near to 100 €. Due to the circumstances, it is certain none of her classmates could be the thief, as they all go to another, specialised classroom while another class uses their room, as is not uncommon in German schools.

It’s all her pocket money, saved up, and while it really wasn’t the best decision to take so much money to school without any need to, it still is theft. She reports the theft to the responsible teacher. The teacher tells her to wait a few days while the class teachers will announce to the involved classes the story of the theft and their policy of “all will be forgotten if you return the money.”

But, only a day later, I find a letter in our postbox, addressed to my daughter but having no stamps nor a sender address. When she opens the letter, she finds in it the amount stolen from her and an unsigned card, saying “This is for you, even if the stolen money turns up again.”

Since she doesn’t know who gave her the money, on the next occasion, she makes a thank you speech in front of class and treats everybody, including her teacher, to a popsicle, because she’s so overwhelmed by this.

Due to some hints in the letter and the card, we’re pretty certain guessing which of her teachers gave the money.

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