Me: “I’ll have [item] and [item], thanks.”
Cashier: “Sure. Is that all?”
Unfortunately, I mishear her and think she asked, “Are you South African?”
Me: *Confused* “No?”
The woman, looking a bit bemused, waits patiently for the rest of my order.
Cashier: “So did you want anything else?”
Me: “Oh, no, thanks.”
Later, the friend I was with asked me about my weird behavior, and I realised that I had misheard.
Mother’s Day is our busiest day of the year. A customer calls the evening before.
Caller: “I want a table for eight.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that is Mother’s Day and we’re fully booked.”
Caller: “No, you don’t understand. I want a table for eight tomorrow. Make it happen.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no availability. That is impossible.”
Caller: “Are you stupid?! Get me a table or get me a manager!”
Me: “I am intelligent enough to know that we do not have any tables available at all tomorrow, sir.”
Caller: “Manager! Now!”
At first, I don’t want to pass the phone over, as my manager isn’t the friendliest guy to work with and he’s very busy in the middle of our dinner shift. He notices I am still on this phone call, though, so he comes up.
Manager: “Why have you been on the phone for so long?”
I’m like, “F*** it, this customer isn’t going to listen to me anyway,” and give the phone to my manager.
Manager: “How can I help?”
He listens for about fifteen seconds.
Manager: “So you’re tying up my hostess in the middle of dinner even though she’s already told you nicely that we can’t fit you and your g**d*** family in the night before our busiest day of the year? F*** you, buddy!”
And he hung up the phone!
This story is part of our Best Of October 2020 roundup!
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Read the Best Of October 2020 roundup!
I work as a teacher’s assistant for a first-grade class, meaning I follow students to their specials. We are currently in art class watching the art teacher give a demonstration on how to draw an owl.
Two boys are sitting together at a table. [Student #1] is new to the school, while [Student #2] went here as a kindergartener.
[Student #1] is impressed with the teacher’s work and upset with his own.
Student #1: “Aw, man, she’s really good!”
[Student #2] is trying to be comforting.
Student #2: “Don’t worry; she’s been doing this for 2,000 years!”
I’m working on the register at my work. We are fairly busy as it is Friday and we are a pizza place. A customer comes in and orders his pizza.
Me: “Can I get your name?”
Customer: “That’s it.”
Me: “Okay, can I get your name?”
Customer: “That’s everything.”
Me: “All righty, sir, can I get your name?”
Customer: “Oh! Yeah. My name’s Dick. You just have to slap me.”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “I don’t hear worth a darn, so you have to slap me to wake me up.”
Me: *Pause* “We’ll have that ready for you in just a few minutes, sir!”
My cell phone’s camera has broken, so I call my cell phone provider to discuss getting a replacement since I have insurance on it. We are currently in month six of a certain health crisis, and a lot of call centers have their employees working from home, as am I, so I totally understand when I call them that there might be some background noise not heard in a regular office setting.
The first person I speak to is polite and helpful but has at least one dog in the background that barks every few minutes. This doesn’t fazse me at all; my coworkers also have rowdy dogs that speak up during online meetings. What does catch me off guard is the rooster who decides to chime in halfway through the call. He’s quite insistent, and at times, he’s louder than the nice lady I’m trying to have a conversation with, but she doesn’t acknowledge it, so neither do I, as long as we can understand each other and finish our discussion.
She has to hand me off to another department and puts me on hold, and there’s a blissful minute or two of a popular song that has no animal accompaniment, before the other department’s representative picks up to help complete my transaction.
All goes well until another rooster starts chiming in from the second rep’s location. No dogs or any other animals this time — just the rooster. Again, this lady, clearly a different person, doesn’t acknowledge it, and we finish our part of the discussion.
The end result is that I have to exchange my phone at my local cell phone provider store. Hopefully, they’re not keeping any livestock in the background.
