A Wordsliposaurus

, , , | Right | March 30, 2020

(My husband and I work at the same hotel; I am housekeeping and he’s at the front desk. A fellow housekeeper quit, so even though I’m part-time, I’m working six days a week while my husband has his normal full-time hours.

I am assisting with planning my sister’s baby shower which is the day after my son’s birthday. Exactly a week before my son’s birthday, my father has a heart attack which, thankfully, he survives. I am giving this information so one can understand how crazy things are.

We decide to do a last-minute party on my son’s birthday two days away since it’s my husband’s day off before I go to work. When we confirm this, I literally run to the bakery for a cake. When I get there, it is busy; I manage to place a late order for the party.)

Baker: “Writing?”

Me: “Happy Birthday, [Son].”

Baker: “Colours?”

Me: “He likes blue… and green… and red… It doesn’t really matter; he likes all colours.”

Baker: “Would you like flowers or balloons or something?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be great.”

Baker: “Which one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, umm, actually, would it be possible for a dinosaur?” 

Baker: “Sure, you can bring in a picture and we can put it on the cake, but it’s much more expensive.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t need to be fancy. I was thinking like a doodle of one instead of balloons. My son is turning three; he will recognize it even if it’s not pretty.”

(The baker looks at me a little confused and I ask to borrow her pen and paper and draw a head long neck and body.)

Baker: “Oh, now I understand. Well, everyone would know that’s a dinosaur, and that should be easier than flowers.”

Me: “And my boy is obsessed with dinosaurs, so he’ll be so happy.”

Baker: “Okay, it will be ready at [time] on [birthday].”

Me: “Okay, great, thank you for being difficult.”

(I turn to walk away and I realized what I said.)

Me: “Oh, my God! I meant to say, ‘Thank you, and sorry for being difficult.’!”

(Thankfully, the baker thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard and was laughing… as was literally everyone who heard me.)

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Unfiltered Story #190891

, , | Unfiltered | March 27, 2020

This happens at least four times a week.
Customer: What’s in the chicken pasty?
Me: Chicken.
Customer: But what meat?
Me: … Chicken.
Customer: What about the steak bake?
Me: Steak.
Customer: What meat?
Me: … Steak. Cow. Moo!
Customer: I’m not an idiot. Whats in the vegetable pasty?
Me: *headdesk*

Unfiltered Story #190887

, , | Unfiltered | March 27, 2020

(We own a bakery and provide free wifi for our customers in case they want to sit down and relax. There’s a sign on the door to let them know that. )

Customer: So where’s my free wifi? Can I get one?

Unfiltered Story #190544

, , | Unfiltered | March 23, 2020

*A customer has removed a rope and directional sign blocking a door*
Me: Excuse me ma’am, that door is not an exit.
Customer: If I can’t go through then why is there a rope here?

Unfiltered Story #190114

, | Unfiltered | March 17, 2020

(After cutting and packaging a bread for the customer)

Me: “Anything else sir?”

Customer: “Yes”

Me: *waits a couple of seconds for the customer to say what they want* “..Sir? Anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s all”

Me: “Alright sir, that will be (price)”

(This exchange happens at least ten times a day, people seem to genuinely only hear what they want to hear. And no, we’re not allowed to ask the customer “Was that it?” or similar as our boss thinks it will discourage people from buying more)