A Cup-Cup For A Dum-Dum

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(I work at a bakery cafe, and we have self-serve drip coffee. When I sell coffee, one question I ask everyone is if they want their cup for here or to go, because some people are very particular that they want a ceramic mug, but generally, everyone else wants to take their coffee to go.)

Me: “So, a medium coffee. Did you want a ceramic mug for the coffee or a paper cup?”

Customer: “I want a cup-cup.”

Me: “So, a paper cup?”

Customer: “No! A cup-cup.”

Me: “A ceramic mug, then.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, duh.”

Listen Here, Cupcake…

, , , , | Right | March 15, 2019

(I work for a bakery in a fairly affluent area. Because of the owner’s ties to the community, many of our customers feel they are entitled.)

Woman: “I’m here to collect 200 cupcakes for my son’s birthday party.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware that we needed to supply this. Did you place an order?”

Woman: *scoffs* “Of course not. My kind doesn’t make ‘orders’”

Me: “Then you aren’t getting 200 cupcakes.”

Woman: *affronted* “How dare you! What about those?!”

Me: “Those are for the local hospital, to be donated to the children’s ward.”

Woman: “I’ll take those, for free because of your attitude.”

Me: “They aren’t for sale. As I said, they’re for [Hospital]. They’re for charity.”

Woman: “You do not know the meaning of the word! I’ll just get in touch with [Owner] and let him sort you out.”

(She steps outside and speaks on her phone for a short while. She stares at me triumphantly through the window, and I start to worry that perhaps the owner will take her side. He arrives and they talk. She is getting very irate, and refusing to follow him through the door.)

Owner: “I’m sorry, [Woman], but I would much rather do this inside.”

(She glares at me while following him in.)

Owner: “Okay, what is going on?”

(I explain, and she interrupts me enough that the owner is starting to get very annoyed.)

Owner: “So, did you even place an order?”

Woman: “Do I look like someone who orders?!”

Owner: “You have to order if you want something in bulk. Even with everyone in today, we wouldn’t have the facilities to make that large a batch in two hours!”

Woman: “Then give me those cakes. Be charitable for once, you greedy c***!”

(This pushes him over the edge.)

Owner: “Those are for the hospital that took care of my daughter while she had leukaemia. I might have tried to pull something together for you, but now, you are getting out of my bakery and never coming back.”

Woman: “BUT MY SON’S BIRTHDAY! YOU’RE RUINING IT!”

Owner: “I haven’t ruined anything; you have. You’re a self-entitled b****, and you are now leaving.”

(He dragged her to the door and pushed her out. She screamed for a while and threw her bag at the window, which smashed it. She went pale and fled. The police were called and her husband offered to pay for the window. It was then that we learned that it wasn’t her son’s birthday, but actually, she had agreed to donate to the same hospital we were. She knew we were donating, and just assumed we would do whatever she wanted if she lied about why she needed them.)

The Cake Is Their Lie

, , , , , , , | Right | March 14, 2019

(Most cakes in our grocery store bakery are brought in frozen, already decorated, and ready to display. There are some that we decorate in-house, but those are baked elsewhere and thus are also brought in frozen. A customer has already ordered a cake and is asking about in-house decoration with my manager, which is the kind of question you would ask before placing an order. After a few more moments of conversation which I do not catch, my manager laughs, and the customer rips the cake box out of his hands and storms off toward the front of the store. My manager follows her and soon both are out of sight. I walk over to the packager.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Packager: “That lady has gotten the last two cakes from us for free because they were–” *air quotes* “–‘wrong.’ I had [Manager] take her order to try to keep her from scamming us this time, but apparently, she’s tried again. I didn’t really hear what was happening.”

Me: “She’s done this before?”

Packager: “Yeah, before you started, she badgered a free cake out of me. [Absent Coworker] took her order and double-checked it, but when she came to pick it up it was missing whatever birthday number was supposed to be on it. She never told [Absent Coworker] to put a number on it; it was not on the order slip at all. I offered to do it for her on the spot, but she said it was too late. I was here alone, so I tried calling the MOD, but she never came and the customer kept getting mad at me, so I gave it to her for free.”

Me: “Wow. She insisted on getting a free cake for that?”  

Packager: “Yep. The time before was kind of my fault, but still stupid. She had ordered a chocolate fudge cake, but I forgot that we have more than one brand of chocolate fudge cake, so I didn’t write down which one. Shouldn’t be a big deal, since we had her number. [Assistant Manager] called her to find out which one and she refused to tell her. I was on vacation so she guessed and guessed right, but the customer still insisted it was wrong, and [Previous Manager] made [Assistant Manager] give her the cake for free.”

(Our conversation is interrupted as the baker, back from her break, walks back into the department and up to us.)

Baker: “[Produce Colleague] said someone was trying to get free cake?”

Me: “Apparently, we have a frequent scammer trying to pull one over on [Manager]. I wonder how [Produce Colleague] knows about it, though?”  

(The packager and I fill her in on what we know. We speculate a bit on what is happening and then go back to our work. After a while, [Manager] returns.)  

Manager: “Well, that was entertaining. [Customer] is no longer allowed to order cakes from us. I just spoke to [Assistant Store Manager] to get the okay.”  

Packager: “Did she pay for this cake?”

Manager: “Oh, yeah. I followed her all the way up to the front, telling her we could go talk to customer service together if she was upset. She yelled at me to stop following her, told me to f*** off, and then tried to get [Produce Colleague] to get me to stop following her. She went up to cash, paid for it, and left in a hurry.”

Me: “What was she claiming was wrong with it?”

Manager: “She claimed that the person she ordered from had told her that the cakes are baked in-store. I corrected her and told her that we never discussed that, and she called me a liar.”

Packager: “She wasn’t supposed to pick that cake up until five pm. I’m betting she came in early thinking you were a new hire on closing shift and that you wouldn’t be here, so she could blame it on you and get it for free since you couldn’t defend yourself. She probably wasn’t expecting you to be here, and definitely wasn’t expecting you to be the manager.”

Manager: “Nope, she wasn’t. And now she’ll have to find someone else to scam because we’re not putting up with her s*** anymore.”  

Me: “You should probably put that in writing, especially if she likes to prey on new hires. You and I both know that [Absent Coworker #2] wouldn’t be able to stand up to her without something to back her up. It’ll help all of us if she tries it again when you’re not here.”

Manager: “You’re right; I’ll do that now.”

(There is now a note from [Manager] hanging prominently — but out of sight of customers — proclaiming that no more cakes for [Customer] at the cake decorating table. We have also been given permission, in case she does somehow manage to order a cake, to call and cancel her orders. It seems like a small thing, but after many years of customer service with bad, spineless managers, I am very proud to work for this one.)

Asking Two Much Of Them

, , , | Right | March 5, 2019

(We have two options for coffee: freshly brewed and filtered. The first one contains coffee beans which are freshly ground for each cup; the second machine contains already ground coffee powder.)

Me: “Would you like your coffee freshly brewed or filtered today?”

Customer: “Whatever you have.”

Me: “Well… I have both. That’s why I’m asking.”

You Can Gugelhopf On By!

, , , | Working | February 27, 2019

(My mum wants to order an old-fashioned cake — a Gugelhopf — for my birthday and enquires well in advance if a local bakery would be able to make that. She specifies that she will need it on a certain Friday, as they then will set off early on Saturday morning to come to see me. The lady says she will check and get back to my mum. However, she never does and my mum assumes the bakery can’t do it. Come that Saturday, the lady rings, somewhat upset, and with an attitude.)

Bakery: “You need to come pick up the Gugelhopf!”

Mum: “Wait, what? You never confirmed you could actually make it. We never discussed what flavour I wanted, or how big the cake would be, or what it would cost. You never notified me that the cake was ready, either!”

Bakery: “Oh…”

Mum: “Also, I said I needed it on Friday; now it’s way too late. We are already a few hundreds of kilometres away from home! You can now sell that Gugelhopf in your shop.”

(The lady then had the decency to recognise her fault and apologise for her mistake. In the end, my brother baked the Gugelhopf at my house, and it was delicious.)

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