All That Glitters Is Blue

, , , , , | Related | December 24, 2019

(During our St. Nicolas celebration, it’s tradition for elementary school kids to participate in a Secret Santa in their class. They draw a name from the hat and buy a gift — usually about €5 — for the classmate whose name they draw. I am in a very cheap store, like a dollar store, and I overhear this boy — about 12 years old — and his mother, looking for a gift for his Secret Santa recipient.)

Mom: “How about this?”

Boy: “Oh, no, no-no-no.”

Mom: “But it’s cute!”

Boy: “Yeah, maybe, but not for [Girl]. Absolutely not for [Girl].”

Mom: “She said she wanted a crafts package; this is crafts. Any girl would love this.”

Boy: “But not [Girl].”

Mom: “Honey, please, I know what girls like, and girls like pink and cute stuff.”

(I spot a craft set with pink glitter, pink pompoms, pink rhinestones… It’s very pink.)

Boy: “But. Not. [Girl]! Mom, [Girl] is tough and cool. She never wears anything ‘cute.’” *does the quotations with his fingers* “And pink. She would never like that, she… Oh… This is it! This is it!”

(I can’t see what he picked.)

Mom: “What? Oh, no, honey. She will not like this.”

Boy: “Yes, she will. I saw her wear something like this once. This. Is. It.”

Mom: “But it’s blue!”

Boy: “It’s PERFECT!”

(He walked away, while his mother tried to convince him the girl will never like it. Yet, somehow… I think he made a great choice.)

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CD = Compact Destruction

, , , , | Learning | November 25, 2019

(This story takes place when I am in the second grade. We have a “technology” class once or twice a week that consists of learning to type and use the basics of computers. I still fondly remember this part of our first lesson in that class.)

Teacher: *holding up a CD* “All right, so you all have your floppy disks, but you will also be using these in class and we must be careful with them! We carefully hold them around the edges and we don’t touch the shiny part underneath, okay? So, if we’re being careful, that means we don’t do this.”

(He begins to slap his palm repeatedly on the shiny part of the CD.)

Teacher: “We don’t do this.”

(He picks up another CD and starts at rubbing the two of them together.)

Teacher: “We definitely do not use them as skates.”

(He throws the two CDs unceremoniously to the ground and stands on them, starting to try to “skate” across the floor to our raucous laughter.)

Teacher: “And finally, we don’t break them.”

(With that, he picks up both CDs, snaps them in half, and tosses them in the trash.)

Teacher: “Okay! Let’s start typing. Pick up those CDs and put them in the disk tray and don’t do what I just did with them!”

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Unfiltered Story #177140

, | Unfiltered | November 11, 2019

(One day when I was in elementary school I was playing at recess when I triped and a boy pushed the back of my head into a tree.So I went to the teacher on duty and she said I was fine, note I was obviously crying and overreacting because I was 8. But after recess I finally went to the nurse.)
NURSE: “Why didn’t you come during recess?”

Me: “Because the teacher on duty didn’t let me.”

NURSE: “Stop trying to get her in trouble tell the truth.”

ME: ” I am she didn’t let me.”

(this proceeded for a while in-till the principal came out )

PRINCIPAL: “It is obvious it didn’t hurt enough to go at the time you are just being dramatic.”

(Due to not getting treated right away I know suffer from sever migraines)

Just A Bit Too Much World

, , , , | Learning | October 28, 2019

(I am in fifth grade. The song “We Are The World” is a big hit. My very flamboyant music teacher has us sing it for the school recital.)

Teacher: “It’s going to be so emotional. We might end up singing the chorus a hundred times! People might break down and cry!”

Me: *thinking* “If we sing this a hundred times, I guarantee people will be crying!”

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An Alarming Lack Of Preparation

, , , , , | Learning | October 5, 2019

I teach third grade. On the third day of school, a fire alarm was pulled during lunchtime as a prank by a student! 

Because it was so early in the year, we had only practiced leaving the classroom for a fire drill; we hadn’t yet practiced what to do when you were somewhere else, like the cafeteria, so the kids didn’t know what to do or where to go. 

One of my students that year had epilepsy; she couldn’t look at the flashing fire alarm without setting off a seizure, so she just covered her eyes and put her head down and cried. 

I was waiting to use the restroom when I heard the alarm go off. I didn’t know whether there was a real fire or not, so I sprinted from the restroom to my scared kiddos in the cafeteria. I found my student who was crying and picked her up, and got her and got the rest of my class out of there, along with another teacher’s class.

Once outside, I put her down and realized that sometime during the trip she had stopped crying and started laughing; she thought it was hysterical that I was carrying her “like a baby”!

Most kids barely got to eat their food, and they were all either thrilled with the excitement, or pretty upset at missing out on a big chunk of their lunchtime. That afternoon, we had “second lunch” during what was supposed to be math class. We all went outside to have a picnic and practice a geometry dance on the blacktop. 

The school quickly drafted a letter to send home to the families so they would know what had happened, and also that there hadn’t been any real danger.

It was a crazy day… but also a sign that we needed to have a better plan in place for managing unpredictable situations! 

My favorite part was that several of my kiddos wrote about it in their first writing assignment of the year, “The Best Day At School Ever!” I’m glad they (mostly) enjoyed it in the end… and that it never happened again!

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