Special Friends Forever

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 13, 2017

(In fourth grade I move to a new school. On my first day of school, a group of girls comes up to me and claims me as their friend. I become really good friends with one of the girls, and the rest are fun to play with at recess. Some of the girls aren’t as smart as I am, and one is missing a leg. All of them have another class that they go to for part of the day, but being nine, I don’t really think much of it. This happens in sixth grade: My teacher has asked me to stay behind so she can talk to me before I go to recess.)

Teacher: “[My Name], I see that you’ve been playing with [Friends #1, #2, and #3]. You shouldn’t be playing with them; we will find you new friends.”

Me: “But I like my friends, and all the other kids in class are mean or are into things I’m not interested in.”

Teacher: “Well, if you stop being friends with those girls, then people wouldn’t be mean to you.”

Me: “But my friends are friends with me, no matter who I hang out with. Why should I be friends with people who don’t like me because of who I am friends with?”

Teacher: “[My Name], those girls are Day School children and you’re not. You are one of the brightest students I have, and you shouldn’t be playing with them.”

Me: *looking at my teacher in confusion* “But [Teacher], I’m a child and I go to school during the day. What am I, if not a day school child?”

Teacher: *pauses* “Just go outside and try to make new friends.”

(It took me a while to work out that “day school children” meant kids who were in special ed. By the end of seventh grade, I was no longer friends with most of the girls that I was friends with in fourth grade. Some had changed schools, and some had just drifted naturally into different groups. I’m glad I never took my teacher’s advice to abandon a group of people who had welcomed me with open arms just because my teacher thought they were different than me. I’m now in my 30s and still count one of those girls as one of my closest friends.)

Rock Solid Reason For Dismissal

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 13, 2017

(My kindergarten teacher doesn’t like me, probably because I am a bit of a smart-a**, correcting her on math, grammar, and seasons. Each student in the class has brought in a bag of rocks from our neighborhoods as homework. I am partnered with a boy in my class to talk about our selections.)

Me: ”These rocks are really hard. See?”

(I tap the bag on the kid’s head, not too hard.)

Partner: “Ow. Those are hard.” *continues eating snack*

(Then, my teacher proceeds to call me inside. She takes me to the reading corner, the one spot of the room that can be completely counted on to not be reached by security cameras. She then hits me over the head with the rocks so hard that I’m surprised I don’t get a concussion.)

Teacher: “Did you like that?”

Me: “No! I’m sorry! Please don’t do that again!”

(She then emailed my mom and let her know what happened. She never mentioned how she punished me, probably because physical punishment is illegal in my state’s schools. I didn’t tell my parents what really happened until about third grade because I thought it was my fault. She was retired by then, but if I had told my parents a bit sooner, we would’ve taken it to court and probably sued her.)

An Alarming State Of Alarm Recognition

, , , , | Learning | October 27, 2017

(When we have a fire drill in our elementary school, a steady tone is sent over the public address system. A warbling tone is used for duck and cover drills. This is the system we use for the six years I attend that school. One day, in fourth grade, we hear a strange tone in the hall:)

PA System: “ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK.” *pause* “ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK.”

Student #1: “What’s that sound?”

Student #2: “I don’t know; never heard it before.”

Student #3: “I think it’s the fire alarm.”

Student #4: “Don’t be silly; the fire alarm goes ‘ooooooooh’ over the PA system.”

(The teacher looked as mystified as we were. Eventually the sound stopped. We never found out what it was. Jump ahead a few years. The first week in junior high school, we hear the same alarm out in the hall. Most of the kids jump up and begin to leave the room. This is how I learned this was the sound made when someone pulled the fire alarm in the hallways. For six years, we could have burned up in a real fire because we were never taught what a true fire alarm sounded like.)

No More Playing Band In French Wearing Pants

, , , , | Learning | October 25, 2017

(It’s the end of the school year. Most our classes are taught by one teacher, and our teacher has made a list to remind us that other classes are over. One of my classmates added to it, so the list reads:)

No more band!

No more French!

No more pants!

Not A Very Cheery-o Teacher

, , , , , , | Learning | October 24, 2017

(We have this substitute who comes in for any teacher who is sick, and she has an extremely strict no-food policy. If you are caught eating, she calls you out with a typical “Do you have enough for everyone?” and if you don’t, she throws your food out. One girl in our class is diabetic and needs to eat to keep her blood sugar up. We all know this, but the sub apparently missed the memo.)

Classmate: *pulls out bag of cereal*

Substitute Teacher: “And so we learned that— excuse me! Are you eating in my class?”

(The room goes dead silent.)

Classmate: “I… I… Um.”

Substitute Teacher: “Do you have enough for the entire class? You know my policy!”

Classmate: “But I’m diabetic.”

Substitute Teacher: *goes quiet* “Well… t-that’s still no excuse!”

(She then confiscated the diabetic kid’s food anyway. She was later fired.)

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