Whatever Direction You’re Coming From, This Went South

, , , , , | Working | June 7, 2018

(I want to visit a restaurant that’s on a street parallel to the ocean, but I’m not sure where it is, so I telephone the restaurant.)

Me: “I’d like to go to [Restaurant] tonight, but I have a question as to where it is. Am I right that it’s between [Street #1] and [Street #2] on [Highway]?”

Receptionist: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “So, is it on the east side of [Highway] or the west side of [Highway]?”

Receptionist: “Well, that depends on which direction you are coming from.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter which direction I’m coming from! I asked if it’s on the east or west. It’s either on the east, closer to the ocean, or on the west, the side farther away from the ocean. So, which is it?”

Receptionist: *click*

(After my meal, I reported the incident to the manager, who couldn’t believe this happened!)

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What Can I Say Except You’re Welcome

, , , , , | Working | June 7, 2018

(The foyer is getting noisy as customers exit a theatre that has finished screening, and popcorn is popping. I have just finished serving a lady and a few customers have built up behind her.)

Lady: *walking away* “Thank you!”

Me: *getting ready to say, “Next, please,” in a raised voice, but caught off guard by the lady’s “thank you,” I direct towards the next customer an unnecessarily aggressive* “THANK YOU!”

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It’s The Half-Price Thought That Counts

, , , , , , | Working | June 6, 2018

(I’m at one of my local supermarkets, and I’m trying to use a self-serve checkout to scan a tray of tiramisu that’s been marked down to 50% for quick sale. There are about three orange stickers with the marked-down price and barcode, but they all refuse to scan through. I look around for assistance, but I notice that the helper has left with a customer into the main product area. However, the loss prevention security guard notices me and walks over to see if he can help me.)

Security Guard: “You okay, brother?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just trying to scan this through, but the barcodes don’t seem to be working.”

Security Guard: “Let me have a go. I know they can be tricky, but I always find a way.”

(He twists and turns the tiramisu and tries every possible angle to get the half-price barcodes to scan.)

Security Guard: “Ah, this one’s a bit tricky. The helper should be back soon. She’ll be able to type in the—”

(He notices the regular barcode and scans it through, so it now shows as full-price in my checkout.)

Me: “Um…”

Security Guard: “There we go.” *laughs* “Told you I could do it! Stay safe, brother!” *leaves*

(The helper returns a couple seconds later, and I point out the full-price sale to her and tell her what just happened.)

Helper: “Yeah, he kind of does stuff like that. But he’s a good security guard, though.”

(She voided the full-price sale and manually typed in the special half-price barcode.)

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Causing Some Pay(n)

, , , , , , , | Working | June 5, 2018

(I work for a large grocery chain with locations all around the country. As part of my job, I get a staff card that entitles me to a 5% discount when presented. The only rule is that we can’t give it to others to use, but we are allowed to use it for family and friend’s purchases as long as we are the one presenting the card. One day, I tag along with my mum as she does the weekly grocery shop so she can use the discount. The store we visit isn’t the one I work at. We get to the checkout and I present my card.)

Cashier: “Are you the one paying for this?”

Me: “No, my mum is.”

Cashier: “Then I can’t scan your card. You have to be the one paying.”

Me: “It’s fine to do as long as I, the cardholder, am present. That’s the rule.”

Cashier: “No, it’s not. I can’t accept it. It’s against the rules. Technically, I should be confiscating your card just for suggesting it.”

Me: “What?”

Mum: “But we’re here together. They always let us do it.”

Cashier: “Sorry.”

Me: “That’s how it’s done at my store.”

Cashier: “Then you’re breaking the rules.”

Mum: “I have the money here. If I handed it to him to pay you, would that be okay?”

Cashier: “Yes, that would be okay, I guess, because then he’d technically be the one paying.”

Mum: “But if I just give the cash straight to you, without going via him, we can’t get the discount?”

Cashier: “Correct.”

(My mum made a big show of handing me the cash, which I then handed to the cashier, along with my staff card, which she finally accepted, with a look on her face like she’d put us in our place. The following day I mentioned this to my manager, who agreed that the cashier was in the wrong. We tend not to do our grocery shop at that store anymore, and I’ve since learned that that particular store isn’t held in very high regard by many of my fellow employees.)

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Oblivious To The Social Media Fallout

, , , , , | Working | June 5, 2018

(I am on my way home from college, flipping through the local radio stations. I stop on what turns out to be a pop station and listen as the host says, without a trace of irony:)

Host: “Up next, The Chainsmokers and their hit song Sick Boy. I think the chorus, ‘How many likes is my life worth?’ really says something about our society. Anyway, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for all your music news!”

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