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If You Can Use The Website, I Don’t Have To Do My Job!

, , , , , | Working | August 5, 2022

One part of my job consists of calling the Rental Board (a tribunal dealing with landlord-tenant relations) to ask for certified copies of their decisions for the collection agency we deal with. This is necessary when we sent our one and only certified copy to the bailiff to have a tenant evicted.

The vast majority of the time, I call, I wait thirty to forty-five minutes on hold with some annoying Musak and repetitive messages, I get a Rental Board representative, I ask for the documents, they tell me it will be in the mail in a couple of days, and then, I receive it.

Then, this morning, after forty-five minutes of high-volume Musak and low-volume droning, I get this employee.

Me: “Hello, I am [My Name] for [Landlord], and I am calling to get several certified copies of Rental Board decisions.”

Employee: “Please hold for a moment.”

Cue ten more minutes of auditive torture.

Employee: “Good morning, what is your request?”

Me: “I would like to get some certified copies of Rental Board decisions.”

Employee: “I suggest that you register with [Well-Known Provider Of Rental Board Decisions].”

Me: “This provider only gives regular copies. I need certified copies for our collection agency.”

The employee speaks to me like I am some kind of cockroach.

Employee: “Then you can go to our website and choose ‘Transmit a document to the Tribunal.’”

Me: “But I don’t want to transmit a document. I want to receive a document.”

Employee: “Like I said, you have to go to our website for that. Choose ‘Transmit a document to the Tribunal.’”

Me: “The ‘Rental Board decisions’ option is not even available.”

Employee: “Then you choose ‘Other Documents,’ and then you transmit your demand for the Tribunal.”

Never mind that this website is not even designed for that kind of request.

Me: “You don’t get it, I—”

She cuts me off in a tone of voice one uses on a petulant child.

Employee: “If you are not satisfied with the way I handled your request, you may deposit a complaint on the website. If there’s nothing else, I will disconnect this call. Goodbye.”

This afternoon, I will call again, and I fully expect another representative to tell me that my decisions will be in the mail in a couple of days.

Putting The Pain Into Pain Au Chocolat

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2021

It’s my first day in a bakery. I am given a tour and a quick brush over everything and then the manager teaching me decides I am to try to serve the next customer. Great! Let’s get started, right?

My first-ever customer is the most snobbish and stuck-up man you can imagine; he orders from the tips of his lips with great disdain, looking down his nose, turning his body away. I keep smiling and remain friendly because he’s my first customer — let’s be positive!

I pack his order: one pain au chocolat. I make the receipt and try to escort the customer back to the till, carrying their purchase, which is the routine I have been taught.

The customer is ignoring me.

Me: “Sir, it’s this way; please follow me.”

I am speaking increasingly louder, thinking maybe he’s hard of hearing. I’m fully extending my free open hand in the right direction. I have to repeat myself three times before he finally decides to move, without a word, and he gets ahead of me, leading the way himself.

I drop off his pain au chocolat bag and let the cashier know it’s for this customer. He acknowledges me with a nod and a thumbs-up. All good. I turn back to the customer:

Me: “All right, sir, your purchase is with our cashier right there.”

I extend my arm, with my hand fully open to point the way, two metres away only. The man is now looking at me with eyes wide and mouth slacked, and he still won’t say a word. I don’t know if he’s confused, shocked by something, or just not understanding me, but it’s awkward.

Me: “Whenever you are ready, we are.”

He still won’t move or say a word.

Me: “So, thank you for shopping with [Bakery], and have a nice day!”

I took a few steps back, turned around, and left, not knowing what else I should have done. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the customer go, “Hmmpft!” and stomp out. I figured he’d bought his things and just could not suffer us any longer and had to make a show of going. 

I didn’t think about this anymore until a good thirty minutes later. I was in the back, about to leave, when a coworker brought back a bag asking, “What’s this?!” acting all confused. I recognized it; it was the pain au chocolat of my first customer!

He had no idea whose it was or who’d made the bag — despite the receipt on it having my name — nor how long it had been there. All other employees were gathering and going, “I don’t know.” I tried to interject to say it was me and ask what happened but, again, no one seemed to see or hear me.  

I went home, seriously questioning if I had suddenly become invisible.

No Soup For You! Part 3

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2021

I’ve just put in my order at the tills for a soup and sandwich to go, and they directed me to the other end of the counter where orders are picked up. I’m waiting fairly close to the counter but not standing right in front of it. The customer behind me looks at me, walks past me, and stands directly in front of the counter. The customer is an older man and all of the employees have East Asian accents.

Employee: *In accented English* “The soup was to go?”

I raise my hand and step closer.

Me: “Ye—”

The other customer butts in impatiently in French.

Customer: “Yes, cinnamon raisin!”

The employee, probably just hearing the “yes,” goes back to fill up the order. I come over and peer over the counter and see that she is filling up a bowl with my soup, but I actually wanted it to go. I try to call to her across the counter, but she is all the way on the other end and I don’t want to disturb everyone in the area.

Me: *To the other customer, in French* “Didn’t she ask if the soup was to go?”

Customer: *Indignantly, in French* “I don’t know! Mine is a cinnamon raisin bagel!”

The customer huffed and puffed impatiently and didn’t apologize, and when the poor employee came to the counter with my order on a plate I told her that it was my order and it was actually to go. She gave a side glance at the other customer, who was red and huffing, and kindly went to correct my order.

I don’t know if this guy couldn’t understand the language, the accent, or the question, but would it kill you to wait your turn in line and pay attention to what people are asking you?

Related:
No Soup For You!, Part 2
No Soup For You!

You’ll Never Get That Ringing Out Of Your Ears

, , , , , | Legal | January 21, 2021

I have a landline phone which came with my apartment. I exclusively use my cellphone for all business, so all calls on the landline are scams.

I answer the phone one day.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer #1: “Hi, I am [Scammer #1] from Microsoft and I am calling about your computer.”

I’m pretty sure his name is fake. I try to suppress my glee at this scam as they are my favorite to mess with.

Me: “Oh, dear, what is wrong?”

Scammer #1: “We are receiving signals from your computer about [some made-up issue that I don’t care to remember].”

Me: “Oh, give me a second to log into my PC. It will take me a second.”

He’s probably thinking he has an easy mark. 

Scammer #1: “Sure, take your time.”

I mute my phone, log in to YouTube, and open my anti-scammer video. Then, I unmute the phone. As the scammer waits, I play a video of dial-up modem sounds.

Normally, that is where the story ends, but you probably noticed the “#1” in the scammer’s name.

The next day, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello.”

This scammer has a different voice but gives the same name.

Scammer #2: “Hi, this is [Scammer #2] calling from Microsoft.”

Me: “Really, we are doing this again? I would have thought that after what I did yesterday I would be on your do-not-call list.” *Hangs up*

Let’s see if they call back tomorrow.

Refunder Blunder, Part 51

, , , , , , | Right | January 21, 2021

A woman comes into our shop, walking directly toward the counter where I am working. She puts a purse she visibly bought from us on the counter.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get a refund for this purse.”

Me: “Hello! I’m really sorry, but according to store policy, we don’t give out refunds.”

Customer: “What do you mean by that?”

Me: “It means that, unfortunately, you can only get store credit for the item or just exchange it for something of equal value. Store credit doesn’t expire, so if you don’t want anything else, it is probably the safest choice!”

Customer: “But I don’t want store credit or another item, I just want my money back. I’m from Europe and I won’t be coming back to your store ever again. This is ridiculous; no one told me about this.”

Me: “We have a sign right here on the counter and it is printed on every receipt we give out to customers.”

Customer: “Well, anyway, I don’t want anything from this store so you are going to give me my money back right now; just find a way. And be quick. I don’t have all day.”

I went to the back of the store to ask the owner what to do. She told me to process a refund just to get the customer out of the store.

I went back to the front to tell that woman about the good news. She didn’t have the receipt and didn’t remember when she’d gotten it, so it was a pain to retrieve it from the system, and when I finally found it, she didn’t even have the proper card to get the refund on, since it was her husband who bought the item in the first place.

Every time I asked for anything, she would just throw a fit and be rude to me, so I ended up having to get her the refund anyway. She stormed off without even a thank-you or a goodbye.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 50
Refunder Blunder, Part 49
Refunder Blunder, Part 48
Refunder Blunder, Part 47
Refunder Blunder, Part 46