Member-Slip, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 25, 2020

I am a cashier. At the beginning of every transaction, we ask the customer if they have our membership card. If not, we offer to make it, as it’s free and never expires. Most people agree. 

The first step is asking for an email address so it can be registered in our system, but we can immediately unsubscribe the person if they don’t want to receive promotional info from us.

Me: “Hello! Do you have our store card?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Would you like one? It’s free and only takes a minute.”

Customer: “Okay, sure!”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need your email—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want to receive any emails.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put that in and you won’t—”

Customer: “Then why do you need it?”

Me: “So it can be registered in the store, and if ever you forget your card, we can find it in the system that way.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

The customer says nothing else.

Me: “Okay… so, your email address is?”

Customer: “I don’t want to receive emails.”

Me: “You won’t.”

Customer: “Then why do you need my email address?”

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident.

Related:
Member-Slip

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When They’re Putting You Down, Make Them Look Up

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2020

This happens while I am a clerk in the CD/DVD department at a bookstore. I get this distraught call from a cashier.

Cashier: “I’ve got a customer here saying we called her and told her that we received the CD she ordered, but I looked everywhere and can’t find it.”

Me: “Hmm, well, you wouldn’t. We hold orders here at the department desk. Send her my way.”

I see the fuming customer stomping towards my desk.

Customer: “You guys need to get your s*** together! You call me and tell me you’ve received my stuff but then you can’t find it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we usually hold orders at the department’s desk; maybe my colleague wasn’t aware of that. May I have your name?”

The customer gives her name while impatiently tapping her fingers on the counter.

Me: “All right, let me see.”

I then proceed to look in the box where we keep order receipts. I can’t find her name. I look at the items we’re keeping. Still can’t find it. I go to the back store. Still nothing. I am confused and apologetic.

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but there must have been a mix-up. I can’t seem to find any trace of your order…”

Customer: *Hysterical* “I can’t believe it! [Competing Store across the street] called me yesterday and told me you had received my order, and now you can’t find it? What kind of s***ty service is that?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Wait, did you say [Competing Store]? Because this is [My Store].”

Customer: “Oh…” *Uneasy laugh* “Right.”

She left without apologizing. For the record, the name of the store was written in big, bold, five-foot-high letters over the entrance, and you couldn’t possibly mistake it for its competitor as they both had unique logos, colors, and store layouts.

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So Not Engaging In This Nonsense

, , , , , | Romantic | May 18, 2020

I’m a woman doing my weekly grocery shop, wearing a T-shirt with a character from a popular webcomic. A man steps in front of me — ignoring the social distancing guidelines of two metres — and starts talking to me.

Man: “Hi there! I like your shirt.”

I move away from him.

Me: “Thank you.”

Man: “Would you like to get coffee or something sometime?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Man: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m engaged.”

Man: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “I don’t see a ring.”

Me: “As it happens, my fiancee asked me to marry her about two months ago. We planned to visit my parents to tell them in person and collect my deceased grandmother’s engagement ring from their safety deposit box for me to wear. Obviously, that’s not possible right now.”

Man: “You could have just said you’re a lesbian instead of wasting my time.”

Me: “And you could have just accepted ‘no, thank you’ right off the bat, but here we are.”


This story was featured in our May 2020 roundup!

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Unfiltered Story #191610

, , | Unfiltered | April 9, 2020

(I work at a clothing store in my local mall and the phone rings)

Me: Hello, thank you for calling [store], my name is [name], how can I help you?
Caller: *long pause* what store is this?
Me: [store name]
Caller: Oh……ok, do you guy have any socks with bananas on them?
Me: Uh, not at the moment, no.
Caller: ……okay, any socks with fruit on them?
Me: I think we have a pair with pineapples?
Caller: Ok. Are they for men or women?
Me: They would be for women
Caller: Okay thanks..
Me: Anything else I can help you with?
Caller: No thanks
Me: Alright, thank you for calling, have a good day!

(In the 3 years I’ve worked at this store, it was the strangest phone conversation I’ve ever had)

Misunderstanding Of A Technical Support Wizard

, , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2020

(I work for a company that produces, among other software, a word processor. A customer calls in, sounding frantic.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Software Company] technical support. My name is [My Name]. Can I have your case number?”

(The customer is very stressed and barely restraining himself.)

Customer: “SRX…”

(I check that I have the right customer.)

Me: “I’ll be happy to help you. What is the issue?”

Customer: “My word processor is not loading up, and I have to give this report to my boss in ten minutes! I demand that you repair your f****** software before that!”

Me: “Sir, I cannot promise any time frame but I will certainly work as fast–”

Customer: “NO! I NEED THIS FIXED IN NOW NINE MINUTES!”

(I stand my ground, as I’m going to be fired if I commit to a specific time frame. After two more minutes of pointless arguing…)

Me: “ABRACADABRA HOCUS POCUS SHAZAM!”

Customer: “What the f***?”

Me: “Is it fixed?”

Customer: “You think you’re funny? Of course not!”

Me: “Sir, I tried the magic way and it doesn’t seem to work. How about you let me work at it as fast as I can?”

Customer: “FINE!”

(Two minutes later, the problem was fixed and he was happily printing.)

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