Toilet Humor Differs From Nation To Nation

, , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(We have just moved from the USA to Qatar. During one of our first visits to the grocery store, we try to purchase the basics for our house and do not know many of the brands being sold. My husband is in the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide what brand to buy.)

Clerk: “Can I help you?”

Husband: “I’m just trying to decide what is the best kind of toilet paper to buy. We just moved here, so I don’t know the brands.”

Clerk: “The one you are holding is good.”

Husband: “Have you used this one? What brand do you prefer?”

Clerk: “I don’t use toilet paper.”

(He was quite serious that he didn’t use toilet paper. Cultural differences…)

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What The Truck?

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

(I am the customer. I recently purchased a truck and am going in to finish the payment set-up at the bank. I am female.)

Banker: “Okay, so, according to this statement, your payments are going to be $305.00. Do you want that directly from your savings or checking?”

Me: “Yeah, checking, please! I am really excited. I have never owned my own car before!”

Banker: “What sort of vehicle did you decide on?”

Me: “I got an F-150.”

Banker: “What is that?”

Me: “A Ford?”

Banker: “I’ve never heard of it.”

Me: “It’s a popular truck.”

Banker: “You got a truck?”

Me: “Yes. I love it.”

Banker: “But you are a girl!”

Me: “Yes… Yes, I am.”

Banker: “Why didn’t you get a car?”

Me: “I have had a car before, but I really liked the truck.”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks.”

Me: *pauses* “What?”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks! Those are meant for boys!”

Me: “No offense, but that is absurd. It’s just a truck.”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian? Lesbians drive trucks.”

Me: “What is wrong with you? It’s just a car! And no, not that it’s any of your business, but I am not a lesbian, but I take great offense to your stereotyping people based only on the sort of car they drive. This is so wrong.”

Banker: “Are you sure you aren’t a lesbian? I mean, you look girly, but you never know….”

Me: “Do you have a boss?”

Banker: “Yes.”

Me: “Go get them.”

(I explained the entire situation to the boss, while the banker looked completely confused as to why anyone would find her offensive or wrong at all. The bank covered my first payment over it, and I have never seen that lady working there since.)

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A Three-Course Disaster

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

My partner and I go out to a local restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We are seated and our waiter takes our drink order. He looks young, possibly in his late teens. After around ten minutes, the drinks haven’t arrived, so when our waiter walks past, I ask him how the drinks are going. Instead of going to check on them, he takes out his notebook and takes our order again.

I get the impression he is new and very nervous. I don’t want to make him feel bad, so we just re-order the same drinks. Five minutes later, he returns with both orders of drinks. “Oh well,” I think. We were probably going to order more drinks later, anyway, so I don’t say anything.

He takes our food order without any issues and our meals arrive at a reasonable time. Well… my partner’s appetizer and main course both arrive together. That turns out to be a lucky accident, as the young waiter delivers my food to a table nearby. When they tell him that it isn’t what they ordered, he apologizes, takes the plates back to the kitchen, and returns with my meal in take-away containers.

I am a bit peeved, but as it is our anniversary, we both just want to relax and enjoy the night, and the food is actually really good. We decide to risk ordering dessert. My partner orders deep fried ice-cream, only for our young waiter to tell us that it’s not on the menu. I point it out to him on the menu, and point to other tables where we can see people eating it. He apologizes and said he honestly had no idea that it was on the menu.

After finishing our meal, we go to the front counter to pay the bill. It seems our waiter has never used or been trained in using a POS terminal or EFTPOS machine, and has to call other staff for help three times just to enter our items into the register.

My patience is just about expired, but I still feel sorry for the kid, as we’ve been able to hear his boss yelling at him every time he goes into the kitchen. I’ve been the new guy before and totally sympathize with him. I think to try and bolster his confidence and show him some support, so I say, “Don’t worry; it looks like you’re new here, and it seems tough now, but in a few weeks you’ll be a total professional.”

His reply left me feeling so awful. I’ve never forgotten what he said.

“I’m not new; I’ve worked here for six months.”

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A Tasteless Starter, Misogynistic Main, And A Just Dessert

, , , , , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I’m at lunch with my son and daughter-in-law when my son makes a tasteless joke at his wife’s expense.)

Me: “Even if you’re joking, you do not talk to her like that. Or any other woman.”

Waiter: *stage whispered* “Aww… You’re a feminist; how cute.”

Me: “Aww… You’re an unoriginal misogynist; bet you don’t get any.”

(We didn’t see him for the rest of our meal.)

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Too Hot To Handle It

, , , , | Working | November 2, 2017

(I am shopping with my nana during summer when we decide to stop at her favourite cafe for a drink. It is warm outside, over 35° Celsius, or 95° Fahrenheit. I order a coffee for Nana and, because I don’t drink coffee, I order a hot chocolate for myself. I can almost hear the record scratch as the employee stops in his tracks at my request.)

Employee: “A hot chocolate? It’s summer! Who drinks a hot chocolate in the summer?”

Me: “What’s wrong with a hot chocolate?”

Employee: “It’s summertime. It’s just not right.”

Me: “Hold on. You’ve been making scorching hot coffees all day. Why is it okay to drink those, but not a practically identical hot chocolate?”

Employee:  “I’ll have to get someone else to make it for you; you’ve freaked me out.”

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