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Whatever Your Argument Is, It’s Getting Old

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 4, 2021

My city’s public transit system has had a rule since mid-2020 that people have to wear masks on the buses and trains. There are signs on each bus and train and at all train stations and the major bus stations, and there are automated announcements played while riding the bus and train explaining this. However, some people argue with the drivers about it. In May 2021, I overheard the most bizarre “reasoning” yet.

Woman: “I don’t need a mask; I’m already blind!”

I was midway down the bus while she was yelling at the driver, so I might have misheard her. She might have actually said, “I’m already black,” though if she was then her skin was light enough that it was not obvious, but neither of those things gives immunity to the contagious illness that caused the health crisis, as far as I’m aware.

You Can’t Mask The Driver’s True Feelings

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

Bus Driver: “You’ll need to pull your mask up.”

A passenger who just boarded has his mask around his chin.

Passenger: “No.”

He goes to pay his bus fare. The driver blocks the coin slot.

Bus Driver: “Then you can’t ride the bus.” 

This should not be news for anyone, as for several months now the bus company has had bulletins on the windows of every bus and train, and at each station, that this is now policy for the whole city-wide transit system.

Passenger: “What? That’s stupid. What does the mask even protect you from?”

Bus Driver: “It protects you from getting kicked off the bus. Mask up or get off.” 

The passenger swore at the bus driver and left.

Robbers You Can Handle, Entitled Customers Not So Much

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2020

I work in banking for a number of years long before the introduction of automated tellers. One branch that I work at is robbed several times in the space of a year.

After one of these robberies, with numerous police cars parked out front and a sign advising that we are closed due to a robbery, one of our least-liked customers starts rattling the doors and screaming to get in.

Customer: “I have some urgent business to transact!”

This goes on for a good half-hour, despite her being told by the police that the branch is unlikely to reopen today.

She returns the following day a few minutes before we open and, again, starts pulling on locked doors and yelling for us to let her in.

When the branch opens, she storms into the manager’s office.

Customer: “Your service is atrocious. You don’t know who I am or you would treat me better!”

The manager, fed up with her antics, has me prepare a bank draft for the balance in her account, and then he gives it to her.

Manager: “Please never darken our doors again.”

I thought she was going to have a stroke on the spot. She called us every name in the book, threatened to have the entire branch fired, etc. Meanwhile, my manager hit the silent alarm button and, as we’d been robbed the previous day, the police showed up in record time.

She wouldn’t listen to the officers who responded, and she was taken out in handcuffs. No one got fired.

The Law Has Put You In Pole Position

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I’m doing maintenance on a large telecom network. The equipment I need to get to is in a backyard and six metres up on a pole. It can only be accessed from this one backyard, with a ladder. As per policy, I knock on the front door to inform the homeowner of my presence. Note that utilities — hydro, telecom providers, etc. — have a legal right of way to access the poles and equipment. The homeowner answers and I hold up my company ID badge.

Me: “Hi, I’m with [Telecom Company]. I’m doing some network maintenance in the area and I need to go to the pole in your backyard for about ten minutes.”

Homeowner: “I don’t have service with you. My neighbours don’t, either.”

Me: “This equipment feeds service to the whole area, not just your direct neighbours. There’s something causing issues for two-hundred subscribers in the area.” 

Homeowner: “I don’t care about the other two-hundred people. You need to find another way to do it.” 

Me: “It’s only accessible from your yard. I checked the neighbour’s side first. The pole is five metres from the fence line. For my health and safety, I can’t go from another yard.”

Homeowner: “Well, for my health and safety, I can’t let you into my yard.”

Me: “Actually, we have a legal right of way to access our equipment. It should be detailed in your home ownership papers.”

Homeowner: “Well, my husband is a cop! I’m gonna call him and see what he has to say about it!” 

Me: “By all means, please do.”

Homeowner: *On the phone* “Yeah, I’ve got some guy here pretending to be from [Telecom Company] saying he needs to go to the pole—” *Pauses* “Really?” *Pauses* “Really?” *Pauses* “REALLY?! Ooookay.”

She hangs up.

Homeowner: “He says it’s okay.”

How Will I Get My News Now? The Internet?!

, , , , , | Legal | December 9, 2020

I’m repairing two damaged cables for a major telecom provider, both on the same piece of equipment. It’s important to note that the nature of our work doesn’t allow for advance notice of outages.

I’m doing my work up on my ladder and my colleague is dealing with another issue a couple hundred metres down the same street.

I glance down and see a police car sitting across the street from me and another one further down where my colleague is. I think nothing of it and keep doing my work. I look down again a few minutes later and they’re parked together conversing. They’re there for a good twenty minutes in total. 

Again, I think nothing of it and finish what we need to do. The next day, my boss calls me.

Boss: “Did you happen to talk to or see a couple of police officers at that job on [Street] yesterday? Apparently, some woman called 911 because her TV cut out.”