Unfiltered Story #199909

, , | Unfiltered | July 5, 2020

(My Mom and I were sitting at the bar in a Chinese Restaurant that we used to be regulars at. Since the other restaurant was closed, we decided to go to this particular restaurant, since we hadn’t been there in awhile. While my Mom and I were looking at the menu for takeout, there was a man at the counter, with the Chinese waitress. I’m not too sure what was first said, but I tried to listen in as best as possible. Basically, he was complaining about how the food was disgusting, and he seemed to be kind of a jerk about it. He also said that the food made him and his wife sick. I couldn’t understand what the Chinese woman was saying, because of her accent, but I saw her pick up the phone. I guess who she was trying to call didn’t answer. The guy was still being a jerk about it. He also said he was going to call the (Chinese Restaurant main office) and the Health Inspector. The whole time, I was whispering to my Mom about what was going on, because I was mostly the one listening. I even said how I was nervous about eating there now! I just wonder what the man and his wife ate to get apparently sick! I was also waiting for him to rage at us and the other customers about how terrible the food was!

Then, when my Mom brought it up later, she questioned, “I don’t know what he expected her to do… I also don’t understand how the food would’ve made them sick, if it was too disgusting-looking to eat.” She then said, “I don’t know if he wanted a free meal, or what?”

I then said, “Well, he said he wasn’t eating there again, because the food was disgusting and made them sick.”

There could be many reasons why the food made the man and his wife sick, but as long as we’ve went to that restaurant, we’ve never had a problem.)

Unfiltered Story #199887

, , | Unfiltered | July 4, 2020

(this took place during my first shift as a server in a new restaurant. The customer’s question caught me off guard, and I think even my answer to his question is pretty laughable)

Customer: On the *specific* pizza, are the mushrooms cooked?

Me: uh… um, well, the mushrooms go on the pizza… and then the pizza goes in the oven… and so then they cook in the oven.

The Ignorance Discount

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2020

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bakery]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I just purchased an assortment of your cupcakes which are falsely advertised as nut-free! I am bringing these to a school so they have to be nut-free!”

Me: “I can assure you that our entire facility is peanut- and tree-nut-free.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I can see that some of these cupcakes have coconut!”

Me: “Coconut isn’t a nut. It can be classified as a seed or a fruit, but is not part of the ‘nut’ family or associated with a nut allergy.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! It’s called a coco-nut for a reason! I need a manager immediately!”

I hand the phone to my manager who has heard the conversation and is hysterically laughing. This is not the first time we have received one of these calls but I am always the one to answer.

Manager: “I am terribly sorry, but we do not give refunds for ignorance or lack of knowledge. Have a great day.” *Click*

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Small Town, Big Country

, , , , | Friendly | July 1, 2020

Several years ago, we moved to a tiny town in Eastern Ontario very near the nation’s capital, Ottawa. Ottawa has huge celebrations for Canada Day, July 1. We’ve learned that areas surrounding Ottawa view themselves as detached from Ontario and Canada, but we didn’t realize by how much until this conversation.

The area is also very insular, not recognizing much of the world beyond its own boundaries. During our first summer in the area this conversation occurs.

Me: “Does [Small Town of about 75 residents] have any Canada Day celebrations?”

Local Official: “Yes, on [date in June rather than July 1].”

Me: *Puzzled* “Is that so the celebrations don’t conflict with those in the [Very Nearby Capital]?”

The official speaks in a tone as if I’d suggested a perversion.

Local Official: “No. Nobody goes to that! It’s so it doesn’t conflict with the big celebration in [Nearest ‘Town’ of a few hundred people].”

Me: “Okay, so we won’t miss that!”

We go to the June celebration in the tiny town, which is a picnic with very modest fireworks in the evening. On July 1st, we go to the festivities in the nearby “big town” which centres around a parade. The parade consists of locals driving their own undecorated cars around the main drag for an hour, followed by two horses. I speak to a local at the parade.

Me: “Have you ever been to the Canada Day celebrations in Ottawa?”

Local: “What?! There’s a parade there, too?!”

Me: *Internally* “We have soooooooo moved to the wrong place.”

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Doesn’t Jimmy Eat World Have A Song About This?

, , , , , | Working | June 30, 2020

I go to a nearby walk-in clinic for the first time to get my ankle looked at, as it has been hurting since yesterday afternoon. The waiting room is already packed with people, despite it being around 9:00 on a workday. I go up to the desk and sign in, presenting my Health Card for identification, and providing my information as a new patient. I sit down and begin my wait to see a doctor.

Three hours roll by, and my name hasn’t been called yet. The closest I get to being called is a seven-year-old who has the same first name, much to the confusion of the nurse calling names. I start seeing people who have arrived after me getting called so I go back up to the receptionist.

Me: “Sorry to bother you, but can I ask for you to see where I am in the queue?”

Receptionist: “Sure, can I have your name?”

Me: “[My First Name].”

Receptionist: *Searches for a moment* “I’m not seeing anyone with that name. Can you give me your full name?”

Me: “Okay, [My Full Name].”

Receptionist: *Searches again* “I don’t see anyone with that full name, but would your name happen to contain a [Middle Name]?”

Me: “Yes, that’s my middle name.”

Receptionist: “Well, your Health Card has that listed as your first name, so that’s what we entered into the system.”

Me: “What?! No, it doesn’t.”

I hand the receptionist my Health Card again, which clearly shows my name in the proper order.

Receptionist: “Yes, see here, it does. See, first name—” *points to [My Middle Name] on my Card* “—middle name—” *points to [My Last Name] on my card* “—and last name.” *Moves back to point at [My First Name]* “But, since you are insisting, I’ll fix up our record and get you in next.”

In total, it took me almost four hours to see the doctor. Thankfully, she didn’t see any signs that the ankle was broken or fractured or any signs of swelling, and she got me on some painkillers and signed me up for a followup X-ray to verify that nothing was broken.

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