Unfiltered Story #131922

, , | Unfiltered | December 10, 2018

(My Dad and I are listening to the rock station, which is apparently close to the number of another, I believe more modern, music station. A lady calls into the station hoping to win something. I’m unaware as to what the contest is, at the time, but we continue to listen, anyway. She asks the DJ if they could play two Rihanna songs in a row. I’m confused as to why she’d want that, considering how it’s a rock station. She’s unaware of her mistake, but the DJ clearly is. So, he gets her all excited, asking:)

DJ: “Are you sitting? Are you excited? Are you ready?”

(After he’s worked up her excitement, he reveals that she’s called the wrong music station.)

Caller: *exasperated* “Are you kidding me?! Oh my god… I didn’t even realize it! I thought this was [other music station], but I didn’t realize that it was the wrong station number!”

(She then goes on, exasperating how she didn’t realize the mistake. After the call is finished, my dad states:)

Dad: “Well, that was a maaajor blonde moment…”

Me: “Yeah, I was confused as to what she was talking about…”

Dad: “So was I.”

I agree… It was a MAJOR blonde moment! If she listened to more modern music, did she not question all the Rock songs that were playing?

Unfiltered Story #131645

, , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2018

(I work at a pet store which is one of a large chain, but the stores themselves are small. I’m working one night when the phone rings.)

Customer: Hi. I’m wondering if you guys do dog training.
Me: Well [store] itself doesn’t do it! but we work with a local trainer who’s great! I can give her your phone number if you’d like. As well, if you want to stop into the store we have flyers here that will give you $10 off a training program.
Customer: Alright. You’re located in [city] right?
Me: Yes. At the intersection of [street] and [street].
Customer: Well I’m in [city about two hours away]. I have a [pet store] near me and I wondered if they did dog training.
Me: Well sir, I would recommend you call them and ask them directly.
Customer: That’s a good idea. Thanks! (Hangs up)
Me: What just happened…?

Used Bookstores Need To Get Used To This

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(I work at a secondhand bookstore, and it is obvious that we do not sell brand-new or never-even-opened books. And yet…)

Customer: *holds up a small stack of books* “Are these books new?”

Me: “No, sir, they’re used.”

Customer: *shuffles through his pile and holds up a book that was released quite recently* “But this one’s new.”

Me: “Yes and no. It’s secondhand.”

Customer: “But it is new.” *waves it in front of my face*

Me: *backing up slightly* “It might be a recently-released book, but it’s still secondhand.”

Customer: “Where are your other new books? I want brand new. Never been owned by someone.”

Me: “We’re a secondhand bookstore, sir. They’re all used.”

Customer: “Where are your new books?”

Me: *sigh* “We don’t have any kinds of books like that, sir. They’ve all been owned by someone else at some point.”

Customer: “What kind of bookstore are you?”

Me: “A used one, sir.”

(Wash. Rinse. Repeat.)

No One Ever Got Injured Eating Pizza

, , , , , | Healthy | December 7, 2018

I’m a very lazy person by nature. I’ll get up and walk around if I feel like it, but I never really go out of my way to try and stay fit. I’m also notorious for hating every sport except for swimming, due to poor performances in gym class. As part of a co-op program for college, I end up staying with my marathon-running, fitness-nut uncle for a month. He is constantly offering for me to join him for workouts or trips to the gym, but I always decline, and he never pushes it. He just wants to be polite and offer to let me come along.

One day, I decide I want to try it, so I get his help setting up a workout routine. When I go back to college at the end of the program, I try it myself without supervision. I end up hurting my hip and have to stop, but after a week or two, I notice that the pain is not going away. It takes me two years to get a proper doctor’s appointment for this — my community is notorious for long waits to see doctors for anything — and I am diagnosed with a muscle tear in my right hip.

So, to sum it up, I hate sports, but the first time I do an actual workout to try and get myself into shape, I come away with what is commonly called a “sports hernia.” Everyone who found out laughed at the sheer irony of it.

Unfiltered Story #131623

, , | Unfiltered | December 6, 2018

(The opening self-checkout shift starts at 6:45AM, 15 minutes before the store is open. Usually, I work closing shifts on the self-checkout, so compared to some of the other workers when I open the self-checkout I’m a little slower. This morning, I came in to find the self-checkouts were malfunctioning, so I found other things to do until the tech came around to repair them. He finishes at around 10:25ish and I retrieve their money from the cash office. At the regular registers, a rush begins as I proceed to roll out a cart of a few thousand dollars in cash to begin my opening procedure. A customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Are these open?”

Me: (stopping working so I can keep all the money within my sights while he’s near) “No sir. We’ve had some technical difficulties. I’m just working on that now.”

Customer: “How long will that take?”

Me: “I usually take around a half hour, sir.”

Customer: “Well, when will they be open?”

Me: “In about a half hour.”

Customer: “Well, how many do you have left?”

Me: “All of them, so it’s going to be a half hour.”

Customer: “Well, can I use them?”

Me: “No sir, not for another half hour.”

Customer: “Can I use them when you’re done?”

Me: “If you’re willing to wait for a half hour, but getting in line over at the cashiers will be quicker.”

Customer: “But how long will you take?”

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