Doctor Is Getting Ahead Of Himself

, , , , | | Healthy | July 15, 2019

(My seven-year-old son broke his arm. The anesthetist is explaining to us what to expect with the sedative they are going to use before setting the bone.)

Doctor: “Ketamine is a dissociative safe for kids. It puts them in a trance-like state where they can’t feel anything. The pain signals don’t reach the brain. It kind of cuts the head off from the rest of the body.”

My Already Distressed Son: “YOU’RE GOING TO WHAAAAT?!”

Doctor: “Oops.”

Friends With Money (Problems)

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | July 10, 2019

(I am at the mall with a friend, who is also my roommate. We head into a cell phone provider, as I’m going to change my plan and buy a new phone. We get to talking about how expensive it all is. Side note: he’s notoriously bad with money.)

Friend: “I can barely pay my phone bill as it is. I can’t imagine paying [price] for a [brand-new model phone].”

Me: “I can’t afford it, either; that’s why I’m getting the older model. It’s on sale now, essentially free if you extend your contract.”

Friend: “Make sure you ask about cancellation fees. [Other Phone Company] was the worst when I couldn’t pay and tried to cancel my plan.”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll ask.”

Friend: “Or you can do what I did and just disappear.” *laughs*

Me: “What?” 

Friend: “Yeah, instead of giving [Other Phone Company] like 200 bucks to get out of the contract, I just stopped paying.”

Me: “But you still owe them that money, right? They can come after you for it.”

Friend: “Let’s see them find me.” 

Me: *silence*

Friend: *proudly* “I’ve moved twice since then. They’ll never get a penny from me.” *laughs*

Me: “That would kill your credit rating.” 

Friend: “What does that matter? I already have a credit card.” 

(It still boggles my mind. He was a good person, and smart in general, just absolutely clueless about money.)

Mean Girls Go North

, , , , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I live in Canada. I’m standing behind a young girl buying some pop and candy when her two friends push in front of me to buy items after her. I don’t say anything, but I sort of roll my eyes; I am used to it as I live in a small town that is flooded with tourists in the summer.)

Young Girl: “You don’t take American money?”

Cashier: “No, I’m sorry, we aren’t set up for it. Not all stores here do.”

Young Girl: “Well, what ones do?”

Cashier: “I’m not sure really.”

(She continues to ring the items through and I pipe up since I know some of the stores that do.)

Me: “[Store #1] does, as well as [Store #2].”

(The kids don’t acknowledge me, so I stop trying to be helpful.)

Young Girl: “You charge for bags?”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s a five-cent charge for each plastic bag.”

(The young girls all gave her a dirty look and left, leaving their cart right in front of me so I had to push it into the bagging area before the cashier could serve me. It’s exceedingly frustrating because I am married to an American, and I hate it when someone makes them all look like jerks. Later I found out there were about 30 of these girls and their parents in town for a short stay. Lovely.)

Unfiltered Story #156873

, , | | Unfiltered | July 7, 2019

My dad does business with TV products. In this case he was selling an IPTV box; internet TV. He talks with a woman about the features, cost etc. Then this happens.
Woman: “Sometimes I fall asleep while watching TV and I don’t want it to use my internet. Can it turn off by itself?”
Dad: “The box will shut off if the TV is off for a minute.”
Woman: “But I want it to shut off once I fall asleep.”
Dad: “If you want you can put a certain time where it will automatically shut off.”
Woman: “So it can’t detect if I’m sleeping or not?”
Dad: “No, I don’t think there is anything that does that.”
Woman: “Then I don’t want it.”
She later came back and bought it.

Entitlement: Why The World Can’t Have Nice Things

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | July 5, 2019

I retired at age sixty, not rich, but comfortable. I lived alone in my house, as my wife had passed and my kids moved out long before. But instead of downsizing, as everyone tried to convince me to do, I decided to take a different path. I converted my basement into a small bachelor-style apartment. Very small. It had just a kitchenette, bathroom with shower, laundry room, and one living space. I got the basics that someone would need: microwave, towels, plates and bowls, and a few food items.

I then started visiting some local charities, a soup kitchen, and a homeless shelter. I volunteered a few times, but spent time getting to know a few people that were in need. After talking to one particular man, I decided to put my retirement scheme into action, and offer for him to stay in my basement apartment to get him back on his feet. He was obviously thrilled and grateful, and we wrote up a rental agreement: three months for free followed by three months at a very small price — about the cost of a single night in a decent hotel — if he hadn’t found something better by then. The only real limits I put in were that he was to be the only tenant, and I would enter to use the laundry once a week at an agreed time.

It started fantastically. My new tenant and I were becoming friends, and he was getting his life sorted out. He got a job within walking distance. He began to look healthier and happier. After three months, he said he would rather stay, which was fine by me, and he paid the agreed rent for month number four. Then, it started to fall apart.

He stopped talking to me when we crossed paths. He began to complain when I used the laundry, even though I never did it unannounced. When rent for month five came around, he complained that it should still be free and paid only part of the agreed price. As month six arrived, I found out he had no intention of leaving or paying. I’m not sure what changed, or why. I’m convinced there was no alcohol or drug use. But he became angry with me, saying that I should have done more if I really wanted to help him.

After seven months, and being paid rent for only one and a half of them, I had to evict him. It required the presence of police and the changing of locks, and afterward, he came by the house at random times for weeks. It was an indescribable nightmare.

I had originally intended to do the same thing for a different needy person every year, having the tenant during the cold Canadian months. But this was four years ago, and I haven’t had a tenant since.

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