I Use Office For Office  

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2020

(I recently started working for the tech department of an office supply chain store, and I quickly started to learn that the customers who need to buy software and hardware for their computers aren’t always the brightest bulbs of the bunch.)

Customer: “I am looking for MS Office.”

Me: “Sure, right this way.”

(I start to lead the customer toward the software section.)

Me: “Just out of curiosity, what are you going to be using it for? For work, or for college…?”

Customer: “HP.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “On an HP laptop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. My mistake. I was actually wondering what you were going to be using it for?”

Customer: “MS Office.”

(I almost facepalm and rub my eyes as I sigh, trying to hide my frustration.)

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Shouldn’t Skip Over Telling Him The Details

, , , , | Working | January 13, 2020

(A bus drives past the stop but decides to let us on when he sees two of us running and waving.)

Driver: “You need to pay more attention!”

(I suspect this is the driver that has skipped my stop three or four times last month.)

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Almost 50 But Acting Like A Child

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(The chain I work at holds a senior’s day each week for people 55 and older who present their rewards card. Unfortunately, the rewards card doesn’t tell us their age nor automatically applies the discount, and they often don’t remember to tell us despite the copious signage, so we often either have to assume one way or another, or ask directly. I’m not the greatest at judging ages, so this often gets me into trouble. On this occasion, I’m dealing with the very first customer of my shift.)

Me: *feeling pretty safe in my guess* “And do you get the senior’s discount?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, okay!” *continues with the transaction*

Customer: *sounding angry* “Thanks. I’m not even fifty yet.”

Me: “Sorry about that. Honestly, though, anyone who’s older than, say, thirty-five, can look just about any age, so I end up asking a lot of–”

Customer: “You should be careful about that.”

Me: *cheerfully* “I try to be.”

Customer: *with no trace of humour* “You’re lucky my husband’s not here. He’d kick your a**.”

Me: *sighs internally, but smiles outwardly as if she were joking*

(I do understand why people get offended in these situations, but I don’t understand why they have to be so rude about it. If I never asked, a lot of actual seniors would be upset because they didn’t get their discount. We can’t win either way. I wish we had a policy that they don’t get the discount unless they bring it up.)

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Man! I Feel Like A Bigot

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2020

(My dad and I are waiting in line at the checkout of a local grocer. There’s one young woman in her early thirties ahead of us who has been complaining the entire time. The cashier — a young boy no older than seventeen — is doing his best to process her as quickly as possible. To the poor kid’s dismay, the woman starts screaming at him about being too slow. Just a note, I’m a feminist but have zero tolerance for sexism on either side.)

Customer: “You men are all alike! I bet you’re just keeping me here so long because I’m a woman! You think I’m buying these groceries just to get home to my family and cook for them! Well, I’ll have you know I have my husband cook! Let the useless man do something for once!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. I think you should know, however, I do not think bad of you–”

Customer: “SHUT UP! YOU USELESS PIECE OF S***! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED! YOU DON’T TALK; YOU’RE JUST THE STUPID CASH BOY! I’M THE CUSTOMER!”

Cashier: “Ma’am–”

Customer: “I’M A FEMINIST! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED, YOU BIGOT! NOW HURRY UP, YOU F****** C*** B****!”

(I’ve had enough and step in. I’m six feet tall and I tower a good foot over this lady.)

Me: *to my dad, loud enough for the whole line to hear* “Wow, bigot alert!”

Customer: *whipping around to glare at me* “I’M NOT A BIGOT! HE’S THE BIGOT! GOOD FOR NOTHING MEN!”

(My dad rolls his eyes, figuring it would be best not to step into an argument between me and this woman.)

Me: “Did I say, ‘bigot’? I meant ‘misandrist.’”

Customer: *scoffing as if I’m stupid* “It’s pronounced ‘misogynist’! And how could you turn on your own gender?! Women are supposed to support each other!”

Me: *as sweetly as I can* “Oh, I’m sorry, the discrimination card is two-sided.”

(She turned red and turned around and walked out without her groceries. We heard her storm out of the parking lot. I apologized to the cashier and gave him a tip. A couple of days later, he told me that the woman tried to return to buy the groceries she had left behind. She blew up when she found that they’d been put back on the shelves, and she had to be escorted out when she found out she was banned from the chain! Sweet justice!)

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Unfiltered Story #182209

, , , | Unfiltered | January 7, 2020

(I’m a cashier at a popular pizza chain. At our store, we have a dine-in restaurant; 1st and only dine-in under this particular pizza chain, as well as the takeout side. This took place on the phone)
ME: Ciao, thank you for calling *Pizza company name*, this is *my name* speaking. How may I help you?
CUSTOMER: I’d like to order some pizza
ME: Alright, can we start with your phone number?
CUSTOMER: Here’s some numbers for you: 1234567890!
ME:…your phone number please, sir.
CUSTOMER: Have you people ever heard of a thing called caller ID! *the call came from “UNKNOWN NAME”*
ME: Sorry, it says “UNKNOWN NAME”. Can I get your phone number so I can take your order?
CUSTOMER: DO YOU WANT MY BUSINESS OR NOT.
ME: ?!?! Yes, we would love your business! Can I please get your phone number please!
CUSTOMER: WELL. I’VE BEEN COMING THERE FOR 30 YEARS AND YOU CASHIERS DON’T KNOW MY PHONE NUMBER.
ME: sir…can I please get your phone number so I can take your order.
*Customer finally gives me the phone number and we go through the order*
ME: Okay, so it’ll be about 20 minutes.
CUSTOMER: Make sure there’s lots of that f****** garlic dip there because I love that s***!