Unfiltered Story #187653

, , | Unfiltered | April 3, 2020

(I work in a very small, family owned pet store that’s only been in operation for a couple of years)

Customer: Hi, how long does a bag of this food last a 100 lb dog?

Me: A bag that size should last about 2 months.

Customer: How many bags do you think it would take to last 2 years?

Me: (taken aback) Um… probably about 12. If you buy it all now though it’ll expire before that time. Most people buy bags as they need them, can I ask why you need 2 years supply?

Customer: I’m flying back to Zimbabwe in a month and I need food for my farm dogs. I won’t be back for two years.

Me: Wow, that’s a long way. Well, like I said unfortunately the food won’t last that long and it would probably be really expensive to ship since each bag is nearly 40 lbs.

Customer: Can you ship it to me?

Me: I’m sorry sir, this is a very small store and we don’t currently offer overseas shipping on products.

Customer: Are you sure?

Me: Positive.

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 91

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2020

(When I first begin my career, I am a bank teller, also known as “the trenches” and the “first line of defense.” We handle all of the customer calls and face-to-face inquiries, schedule meetings, and make sales. This means I deal with people from all walks of life and all manners of intelligence!

One afternoon, I am on the front line and a twenty-something man comes up to my wicket, lazily chewing away on a half-eaten slice of pizza, smacking his jaws loudly.

We review his account, and he was charged $42.50 for having “Not Sufficient Funds” in his account for a regular payment that goes out every month. He takes a bite of pizza as he speaks.)

Customer: “I shouldn’t have been charged that.”

(I always take exception to this and never give an inch. I keep to our policies strictly, and even the times I got NSF fees, I gladly paid the “idiot tax.”)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it is laid out in the documentation you were given when you opened your account. If a payment bounces, you will be charged an NSF fee.”

Customer: *with his mouth full* “But I don’t understand why I got charged.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll help you understand. Let me know you’re with me as I go through this. You had a payment for $150, for your insurance, go out on the 15th…”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “…just like it goes out on the 15th every month for $150.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “So, we’ve established that you’re aware you need to have $150 in your account every month on the 15th.”

(The customer bites his pizza and just nods.)

Me: “Your payment went out. For $150. On the 15th.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “You didn’t have $150 in your account. There was not enough money in your account. We couldn’t pay the insurance company.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “You did not have sufficient funds. Your payment bounced. You were charged a fee.”

Customer: *practically spitting pizza* “I don’t understand why I got charged!”

Me: “Okay, let’s start again.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 90
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 89
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 88

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Ice See Dumb People

, , , | Right | April 2, 2020

(I am visiting my friend’s house. We have just returned to her house after going through the drive-thru of a nearby fast food restaurant. We end up returning to the restaurant because my friend has discovered her soft drink doesn’t have any ice in it, something she is very picky about.

As we walk inside the restaurant, I happen to look over at the two self-serve pop machines that are side-by-side.)

Me: “Hey, look! One of the pop machines has a sign that says, ‘No Ice.’ It must be broken. That might be why you didn’t get any ice in your drink; the one in the drive-thru must be broken, too.”

Friend: “Well, they should have told me that. I can’t drink this without ice.”

(At that moment, I watch as a woman goes over to the machine with the “No Ice” sign and tries to get some ice. I smile a bit and watch as it takes almost a full minute for the woman to figure it out.

I am at the OTHER SIDE of the restaurant and I can CLEARLY read the “No Ice” sign that is currently right in front of her face.

As my friend goes up to the counter to make her complaint, I watch as another woman tries to get ice from the broken machine. This time I start laughing and tell my friend, who laughs a little. Then, my friend takes her drink cup, turns, and asks me this.)

Friend: “Which machine do I have to use to get some ice?”

Me: “Well, you certainly don’t want to get it from the one that has a sign that says, ‘No Ice!’”

Friend: “Oh, right. Thanks.”

(She walks over to get her drink. She fills it, drinks a little, then comes back and gets the rest of her order. Before we leave, we decide to top up her drink. This time, a man is in front of the broken ice machine trying to get ice from it. We go over to the other one when I notice something.)

Me: “Hey, look. This pop machine has a sign that says, ‘No Sprite,’ and the other one has a sign that says “No Ice.””

(I say this loud enough so that the man at the other machine can hear. Then I look at him.)

Me: “How about we switch machines?”

(We switched and I topped up my friend’s Coke. As soon as I was done I looked back up at the man and saw him trying to fill his cup up with — you guessed it! — Sprite. I quietly told my friend and she told him, and then we managed to slip quickly out of there before we both burst out laughing!)

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Thy Cup Runneth Over With Laziness

, , , | Right | April 2, 2020

(I’m working in the window of the drive thru.)

Me: “Here’s your coffee and change, sir. Have a nice day!” 

Customer: “Thanks! Hey, can you throw this cup away? I forgot to do it at the garbage cans back there.” 

Me: “Sorry, we’re not allowed to take garbage through the window for health and safety reasons.” 

Customer: “Darn! Oh, well, thanks again.”

(The customer drives off. Ten minutes later, a customer drives past the speaker without ordering, and I don’t think anything of it until I see the same customer driving past the window.)

Customer: “Hey! Sorry! Just wanted to throw my cup away!” 

(Instead of using one of the trash cans conveniently located in front of the store, he decided instead to wait ten minutes in the drive-thru lane just to throw away his cup.)

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Some People Just Want To Watch The Dessert Burn

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2020

(In the restaurant where I work, there are only two tables that will sit a group larger than four. A large group approaches the host stand while I am literally in the process of cleaning the only available group table, so they wait, at max, five minutes for it to be clean. They are then promptly seated.

It is a fairly busy lunch so there is a bit of a wait for food, but nothing unreasonable. When I do quality checks and refills, everything seems fine until the end. While clearing the dishes:)

Me: “Any dessert or coffee today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, then, just the bill?”

Customer: “No.”

(I halfheartedly laugh, as this is a lame joke I’ve heard before. When I bring the bill, they crumple it up and throw it on the table, which I find odd and think that it’s a weird way to joke. I honestly have no idea they are upset; I’m usually very good at reading my customers and am sympathetic when they get slow or bad service. 

I leave to let them look over the bill and get the payment terminal. I notice at one end of the table someone has put down some money and the customer who crumpled up the bill took it. I figured they just decided to pay credit, instead. I return with the payment terminal and begin processing their payment when:)

Customer: “This is the worst service I have ever received!”

(I am completely caught off-guard as everything seemed fine and they didn’t complain once throughout the meal.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to fix it?”

Customer: “We waited twenty minutes to be seated!”

(They waited five.)

Customer: “No one brought my son a highchair.”

(The kid was in a highchair when I first greeted the table, so obviously, someone did, and fairly quickly because we have to greet tables within two minutes of being sat.)

Customer: “We waited over an hour for our food!”

(They waited twenty to thirty minutes.)

Customer: “And you never once brought us refills!”

Me: “Actually, I did bring refills to your table.”

(She just ignored me every time I came to the table and asked.)

Me: “And I apologize about the wait times, but it has been a fairly busy lunch. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No! But we will never be dining here again!”

(And with that, she stormed off, of course leaving no tip. I then realized the money that had been left on the other side of the table was meant to be my tip from the sane people at the table who actually paid attention when I asked how everything was and if they wanted refills, and she had stolen it.

I was so mad. My manager could see and asked me what was wrong, so I explained the whole situation. It’s a good thing I did, because the customer called later and tried to complain about me.)

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