Don’t Lecture Him About His Forgetfulness

, , , | Romantic | October 3, 2018

(My husband and I just had an adventure that was 35 years in making. He is smart, but scatter-brained, and often forgets things overnight. Before he had a smartphone and me to keep schedules, things were tough for him. When he was in grammar school, his class was scheduled for a field trip to an astronomical observatory. My husband, an astronomy geek, was looking forward to it, but he forgot and went to normal lessons, while the rest of class was already on the train. Well, at least everyone had a good laugh about it. Then he went to high school… and the scenario repeated itself to the last detail. So, thirty years later we decide to treat ourselves and go on a trip, ending at the observatory. My husband is ecstatic, despite a bout of migraine, and keeps repeating that he finally is going to see the lecture. So, we buy the tickets, sit in the lecture hall, the chair rests lower themselves, lights go dim… and my husband falls asleep, waking up after the lecture, rested and refreshed, but none the wiser about the lecture.)

Husband: “Why didn’t you wake me?”

Me: “I tried. But honestly, you clearly needed a nap.”

Husband: “Well, I am clearly cursed. God doesn’t want me to see the lecture.”


Husband: “What was it about? C’mon, people will ask me and I will look like idiot! Again!”

Working Overtime On This Relationship

, , , , | Romantic | July 31, 2018

(Our company offices are located in a small town near the city where I live. Because of a business meeting with our Korean partners, I get stuck at work way overtime. My boyfriend of four years borrows my car that day, so I call him to pick me up.)

Boyfriend: *obviously just woke up* “Um, hello?”

Me: “Sorry to wake you up. Can you please pick me up at work? We just finished.”

Boyfriend: “Ugh, what time is it?

Me: “It’s 11 pm. The last bus left twenty minutes ago.”

Boyfriend: “Why not take a car? You have a car.”

Me: “You borrowed my car, remember? You promised to pick me up when we finish.”

Boyfriend: “Take a taxi. I’m in bed.”

Me: “It’s Friday night, and there is a music festival nearby. My boss already tried to call a taxi, but everyone is busy.”

Boyfriend: “Then walk. And can you sleep on a couch tonight? I don’t want you to wake me up again when you get home. You know I need sleep more than you. “

Me: “You want me to walk eight miles through the forest and fields at night? What—” *click*

(He hangs up on me. I stare at the phone, then try taxis again without any luck. I call my brother.)

Brother: “Hey, sis, what’s up?”

Me: “Hey, are you home?”

Brother: “Not yet. My train was delayed so I’m still on my way, but in five minutes I should be in the city. What’s wrong?”

Me: “Can you please pick me up at work? I had overtime, the last bus to [Town] already left, taxis are fully booked because of the festival, and our parents are at [Uncle]’s party. Mum’s car should be at home because they took a bus.”

Brother: “No problem, but it will take me around an hour to get to your office if I’m lucky and catch a night bus from the station to home. What happened to your car?”

Me: “It’s in front of my house. [Boyfriend] borrowed it because he had a day off, and now he is asleep and doesn’t want to pick me up.”

Brother: *pause* “I’m not going to comment on it, but you know what I’m thinking right now. See you in an hour.”

(Later, when I repeated my call with my boyfriend to my brother, he was so furious he even forgot he hates driving and offered to help me to pack my boyfriend’s stuff. I got home around 12:30 am and really slept on the couch, because otherwise I would have just suffocated him with a pillow. I told him to pack his stuff couple weeks later when he left me sitting on the floor with a possibly broken arm and went back to play his PC game.)

Unfiltered Story #117755

, | Unfiltered | July 27, 2018

I have a summer job at a reception oh a hotel in Prague centre, and our guests are mainly tourists. This is happening on July 03. We have two national public holidays coming up, one on July 05 and second on July 06. Neither is really celebrated unless it’s an anniversary year.

The guests are clearly Americans, one of them has an American flag around his suitcase. There are four guys in total, somewhere from 30 to 40 years old if I had to guess. But they are generally pleasant and cooperate during the check-in.

Me: Hello, welcome to our hotel. (The usually if they have a reservation, under which name etc.) All right, you are all set. Can I help you with anything else? Any places you would like to visit and need directions for?

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: Where are the celebrations? What is a good spot to watch the fireworks?

Me: Oh, the holidays are on July 05 and July 06, unfortunately, there won’t be any festivities. Only some places might be closed, and other might have different opening hours. But definitely nothing major.

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: What! (Which surprises me because he was really nice up to that moment, however, he starts to raise his voice.)

Another guest from the group: The Fourth of July.

Me: Oh, you mean the American Independence day?

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: YES!

Me: I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid that here in the Czech Republic we do not celebrate the American holiday.

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: But we came here to celebrate it!

After that, the manager came down to the reception and dealt with them. All four guys seemed to be genuinely perplexed that there won’t be any festivities to mark American Independence day in the middle of Europe.
However, my manager was quick on his feet and suggested them to look for some FB group for Expats living in Prague that there might be some Americans living in Prague that will be celebrating. When I asked about the idea, it turned out they were not the first one to ask about it.

I also saw two of the guys this noon (July 05), both seemed hangover with bloodshot eyes but in better mood than when I told them that we don’t celebrate the Fourth of July.

You’re Locked From The Solution

, , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I work tech support. After standard verification, we ask for the issue.)

User: “I need to unlock my computer.”

Me: “Okay, just give me a minute; this should be a really easy fix.”

(I look at usual tools for unlocks, because that usually means that user’s account is locked.)

Me: “That is strange; I cannot see anything locked there. What is the application you are trying to access?”

User: “It is not an application; my computer is locked.”

Me: “Do you mean that your computer is physically locked?”

User: “Yes.”

Me: “Like in a box with a lock on it?”

User: “Yes, exactly.”

Me: “Did you set some code for it? I would guess it would be something like year of your birth, or something like that.”

User: “No, they gave me that with a code.”

Me: “Give me a moment. I will look for a locksmith in your area.”

(My colleague suggested that user should request blowtorch or sledgehammer.)

Unfiltered Story #107351

| Unfiltered | March 14, 2018

My father told me this story. It happened many years ago, when he was courting my mother. One evening they took a train to next city and went to see “Lemonade Joe”, Czech theatrical play, extremely funny comedy/parody of western. It was a hoot, with actors running among the audience and shooting tons of blank ammo.
One of the characters was “Doctor Kennedy, not really a nice person. My parents actually did not see the end of the play, as they had the last train home to catch, so they got up and went to pick their coats. Coat lady greeted them very eagerly.
Coat lady: “Kennedy just got shot!”
Father: “Haha, thank you, cool!”
It was not before they got home and turned the radio on, that they figured out, what she meant. Yes, it was November 22nd, 1963, and the news about the assassination of 35th president of USA just reached out small country. Father told me, that he felt terrible, but he never got a chance to apologize to that poor lady for his seemingly callous and crazy remark.

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