Unfiltered Story #117755

, | Unfiltered | July 27, 2018

I have a summer job at a reception oh a hotel in Prague centre, and our guests are mainly tourists. This is happening on July 03. We have two national public holidays coming up, one on July 05 and second on July 06. Neither is really celebrated unless it’s an anniversary year.

The guests are clearly Americans, one of them has an American flag around his suitcase. There are four guys in total, somewhere from 30 to 40 years old if I had to guess. But they are generally pleasant and cooperate during the check-in.

Me: Hello, welcome to our hotel. (The usually if they have a reservation, under which name etc.) All right, you are all set. Can I help you with anything else? Any places you would like to visit and need directions for?

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: Where are the celebrations? What is a good spot to watch the fireworks?

Me: Oh, the holidays are on July 05 and July 06, unfortunately, there won’t be any festivities. Only some places might be closed, and other might have different opening hours. But definitely nothing major.

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: What! (Which surprises me because he was really nice up to that moment, however, he starts to raise his voice.)

Another guest from the group: The Fourth of July.

Me: Oh, you mean the American Independence day?

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: YES!

Me: I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid that here in the Czech Republic we do not celebrate the American holiday.

Guest with the American flag on his suitcase: But we came here to celebrate it!

After that, the manager came down to the reception and dealt with them. All four guys seemed to be genuinely perplexed that there won’t be any festivities to mark American Independence day in the middle of Europe.
However, my manager was quick on his feet and suggested them to look for some FB group for Expats living in Prague that there might be some Americans living in Prague that will be celebrating. When I asked about the idea, it turned out they were not the first one to ask about it.

I also saw two of the guys this noon (July 05), both seemed hangover with bloodshot eyes but in better mood than when I told them that we don’t celebrate the Fourth of July.

You’re Locked From The Solution

, , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I work tech support. After standard verification, we ask for the issue.)

User: “I need to unlock my computer.”

Me: “Okay, just give me a minute; this should be a really easy fix.”

(I look at usual tools for unlocks, because that usually means that user’s account is locked.)

Me: “That is strange; I cannot see anything locked there. What is the application you are trying to access?”

User: “It is not an application; my computer is locked.”

Me: “Do you mean that your computer is physically locked?”

User: “Yes.”

Me: “Like in a box with a lock on it?”

User: “Yes, exactly.”

Me: “Did you set some code for it? I would guess it would be something like year of your birth, or something like that.”

User: “No, they gave me that with a code.”

Me: “Give me a moment. I will look for a locksmith in your area.”

(My colleague suggested that user should request blowtorch or sledgehammer.)

Unangelic Behavior

, , , , , , , | Related | December 21, 2017

(It’s nearly Christmas and we are finishing the decorations in our living room, including our so-called “Angelic quartet”. It’s a local variation to American “Elf on the Shelf,” with four winged plaster statuettes, nearly the size of newborn babies, sitting and playing, so you can arrange them on the furniture around the Christmas tree, and creep the hell out of any normal guy like me. I make a throwaway comment:)

Me: “I could really do without these dead children.”

(Later, at lunch, my nine-year-old granddaughter suddenly turns to my wife, and asks:)

Granddaughter: “Grandma, why does Grandpa call the little angels ‘dead children’?”

Grandma: “Yes, honey, why do you call them that?”

(The ungrateful bunch of cockroaches I call “family” put down their utensils and look at me expectantly, stopping short of grabbing popcorn.)

Me: “You know, some people believe that if a little baby dies, they immediately get wings and become angels, so they can fly to visit their families any time they feel sad and alone.”

(My granddaughter looks at me, pondering, then turns to my wife:)

Granddaughter: “Grandpa is also a bit of a joker, right?”

(I still call it a win!)

Unfiltered Story #100572

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2017

(I just moved to night shift. Our unofficial team leader (he was the most skilled guy there but didn’t have title of TL) is showing me some differences on night shift:)

Not-Team-Leader: “And the last thing. If you forget to lock your screen when you will go for smoke do not worry. We are not like day shift, we do not touch each others machine. We are straight men. We might be pr*cks and di*ks but we are not f****** a**-holes.”