Get Your Nose Out Of My Uterus!
My girlfriend has been injured at work and has gone to A&E (Accident & Emergency). I meet up with her shortly before she’s taken in for triage, and she asks me to come in with her.
Nurse: *Eyeing me* “Are you pregnant?”
Girlfriend: “No.”
Nurse: *Eyes me again* “How can you be sure?”
Girlfriend: “I’m on my period.”
Nurse: “Do you think it’s possible that your period is causing your symptoms?”
Girlfriend: “No.”
Nurse: “Why do you think that?”
Girlfriend: “My fingers don’t usually break when I’m on my period.”
Nurse: “What?”
Girlfriend: “I’ve broken my finger.”
Nurse: “But we were talking about your pregnancy.”
Girlfriend: “I’m not pregnant.”
Nurse: “So, you’re having trouble with cramping.”
Girlfriend: *Getting irritated now* “No. I’ve broken my finger.”
Nurse: “But are you sure this has nothing to do with your pregnancy?”
Girlfriend: “I’ve broken my finger.”
Nurse: “And—”
Girlfriend: “I’ve broken my finger. What aren’t you getting?”
Nurse: “Yes, but… No. I think we should do a pregnancy test just to be sure.”
[Girlfriend] looks at me like she’s about to snap a certain someone’s neck.
Girlfriend: “I’m not f****** pregnant. Can someone look at my f****** finger?!”
The nurse purses her lips and leaves, muttering about my girlfriend being a problem patient. We wait for about five minutes before I look outside the room for someone. I wave a nurse down and ask what’s happening. She disappears, too, and I sit back down.
Twenty minutes later, another nurse comes in and is startled to see us. She says my girlfriend has already been discharged, mentioning something about morning sickness, before my girlfriend screams at the top of her lungs:
Girlfriend: “MY FINGER IS BROKEN!”
The nurse’s face went pale, and within a minute, [Girlfriend]’s finger was being looked at.
We left another hour later. [Girlfriend] was given two discharge letters. One was for the broken finger. The other said she was having problems with her pregnancy because of her period, and it was making her irritable.
She has since received a letter and phone call apologising for the problems she had. She’s adamant that she will go further afield if she needs to go to the hospital again.
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