They Want Virtual Reality But They Don’t Live In Actual Reality

, , , | Right | July 3, 2020

I work at a museum. We recently installed a virtual reality exhibit guests can pay extra to try. Two guests walk in.

Me: “Hello! Let me know if you guys have questions or want to buy tickets.”

They do not acknowledge me and keep walking toward the arcade setup.

Coworker: “Hello! Let me know if you guys have questions.”

They do not acknowledge him, either, walk straight into an arcade bay, and start fiddling with the equipment. 

Coworker: “Hey, did you all want to buy tickets?”

Guest: “You have to buy tickets? I wish we’d known that!”

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The Last 500 Years Just Flew By!

, , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

I work at a museum hosting an exhibit about Leonardo Da Vinci.

Guest: *To my coworker* “Leo Da Vinci, huh? That guy still around?”

Coworker: “I don’t think so.”

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Unfiltered Story #196581

, , | Unfiltered | June 16, 2020

A visitor walks up to my counter.
Visitor: ow come you don’t eat catfish up here?
Me: Um, excuse me?
Visitor: How come people up here don’t eat catfish?
Me: Some do…
Visitor: Where I’m from, it’s a delicacy.
Walks out.

Unfiltered Story #196533

, , , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2020

[Important notes: It was the weekend so the only people working were myself and an elderly volunteer I’ll call ‘N’, who basically hangs around being a delight and informing patrons how to go through the museum. This patron was a woman maybe in her 30s, leather jacket, tight jeans, sunglasses, rode a motorcycle up to the museum, very cheerful]

Patron: [As I’m getting her her ticket] Yeah, so I’m just in town to check out the Catholic schools. I’m thinking of sending my kids.

Me: Oh, that’s cool. Unfortunately I don’t know much about them, so I can’t help.

Patron: You’re not Catholic? What denomination are you?

Me: Oh, uh, I’m actually Jewish.

Patron: You’re /Jewish/? I’ve never met a Jew in my life. Do you mind if I ask some questions?

Me: [Trying to make light and also realizing that I don’t have a good excuse to send her on her way] Oh, suuuuuure, but uh, I don’t know how much help I can be, I’m not very traditional.

Patron: Oh, that’s ok! So, is it true you /don’t believe in Jesus/?

[And then we have a fifteen minute conversation where I patiently try to explain the philosophy of Judaism to someone who aggressively does not actually want to learn to philosophy of Judaism and only want to tell me how wrong I am]

[Until N comes in to see what’s going on]

Me: N. HI. WHY DON’T YOU TELL OUR GUEST HOW TO GO THROUGH.

[N explains, Patron leaves, I bang my head on the counter]

N: That’s why I /never/ talk religion in public. But my Jewish friends taught me a good joke. Do you want to hear it?

[She told me. It was really good. We traded Jewish jokes for the rest of the day. The patron left pleased (I guess????)]

They Know How Movie Theaters Work, Right?

, , | Right | May 21, 2020

At the museum, we have the option to “add on” to your general admission different special or travelling exhibits and also 3D movies.

Client: “Hi! I’d like to see the 3D movie with myself and the kids here.”

Me: “Okay, sure! We have it playing at [times].”

Client: “Oh… You mean the movie has specific starting times? How am I supposed to plan on that with my kids?!”

Uh… no! You’re totally right! This is the magic movie theater, where movies start whenever it’s convenient for you!

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