Would Have Been Better Off Claiming An Invisible Disability

, , , , , | Right | August 24, 2020

I work at an open-air museum set up like a small townsite with a few houses surrounding it, which we call the farmsteads. The area is quite big so we provide scooters at reception for anyone who has difficulties walking.

Despite reception being located just in front of the townsite, most visitors end up going around the building and straight into the townsite.

A young and fit-looking woman returns from the townsite and arrives at reception.

Customer: “How come I keep seeing all these people on scooters? No one gave me a scooter when I came in!”

Receptionist: “We only provide scooters to anyone with a disability or trouble walking.”

Customer: “But I’m seven months pregnant! I want to see the manager!”

She does not appear to be more than two months pregnant, if at all.

Receptionist: “I’m sorry. If I had known, or if you had told me, I would have set one up for you once you came to reception before entering the site.”

Customer: “I didn’t come here when I arrived. I just walked around.”

Receptionist: “…”

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Snow Way They’re That Dumb, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2020

I work in a children’s museum that has a large event every year that involves snow.

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Museum]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is the snow event open tomorrow?”

Me: “Ten to five every day; do you have any other questions?”

Customer: “Is it real snow?”

Me: “Yes, we have real snow.”

Customer: “Tell me, is it wet? Is it really cold, too?”

Me: “Have you ever visited anywhere where it snows? Big Bear or another destination like that?”

Customer: “Yes, but that wasn’t real snow!”

Related:
Snow Way They’re That Dumb

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What Planet Are They On?

, , , | Right | August 14, 2020

I work at a museum with a planetarium, which is one of the few things you have to pay extra for.

Guest: “Do you have to pay extra for planetarium tickets?”

Me: “Yes, you do. If you’re interested, you can buy them up here at the desk.”

Guest: “But I already bought planetarium tickets!”

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Artfully Setting Himself Up For Failure, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2020

I work as a gallery attendant in a museum where my job is to talk to people about artworks in the galleries. We have this piece by the artist Joan Jonas — a lady who’s currently in her eighties — on display. Most people don’t recognize her name because she did her most famous works in the 1960s, so anyone too young to remember doesn’t often know her.

This guy who looks to be in his thirties and his mother come over.

Me: “This is done in conjunction with the artist Joan Jonas.”

Guy: “Joe Jonas? Isn’t he really popular right now?”

Me: “No, not Joe, Joan Jonas. She was part of the Fluxus movement but still does art now.”

Guy: “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. I don’t know much of his work but I hear a lot about him.”

I want to scream at this idiot.

Me:She has been around for quite some time and currently mentors this other artist, so they worked together on this. She makes some really amazing pieces.”

He then ignored me completely, went over to read the sign on the wall, and proceeded to explain the meaning behind the piece to his mother, getting absolutely every single thing wrong.

This wasn’t one of those pieces where the artist wanted everything to be open to interpretation; it had a very strong sociopolitical message and that’s why the artists wanted us there to explain it.

I just let the guy keep babbling about nonsense because he was clearly one of those geniuses who knows more about artworks his first time looking at them than the people who were literally trained by the artists themselves.

Related:
Artfully Setting Himself Up For Failure

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Unfiltered Story #202130

, | Unfiltered | August 1, 2020

I work in a college which is located next door to a famous museum, which is frequently visited by many tourists. Although the museum has a 10-foot sign at the door which can be seen and easily read from the bottom of the street, this always happens:
Tourist: “Is this where I buy tickets?”
Me: “I’m sorry; you’re in the wrong building. The [Museum] is next door: go outside, cross the road and turn right. It’s the next one along.”
Tourist: “So I go outside and turn left?”
Me: *internally screaming, externally smiling* “Let me show you.”
(I take them out and direct them again. When I’m back at my desk, the phone rings.)
Me: “Good morning, [College].”
Caller: “Is this the [Museum]?”
Yep, they somehow manage to find the phone number for a building next to the one they want. Happens six times a day.