Why Do Any Of Us Say Anything?

, , , , | Working | September 14, 2017

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $5.50, please.”

Customer #1: *handing me a $5* “That’s it. I don’t have the fifty cents.”

(She clearly expects me to be okay with not getting the change. Having never encountered this situation before, I freeze for a moment as my mind tries to come up with a coherent response.)

Customer #1: *suddenly looking embarrassed* “Wait a minute! Why did I say that!? Here!”

(She hands me a $1 bill, and we both laugh as I give her change back, and we wish each other a good day as she leaves. I ring up the next customer, who also pays in cash.)

Me: *handing him his change* “If you’ll sign right here please… Wait, why did I say that!?”

Wouldn’t Hurt To Try The Gangsta Lifestyle

, , , , | Working | September 10, 2017

(The roll of paper in our credit card machine is about to run out, so I ask my coworker to grab me a new one. She opens the cabinet without moving aside, and leans over the door in such a way that it digs into her.)

Coworker: “…ow.”

Me: “Don’t hurt yourself!”

Coworker: “Can’t hurt a gangsta!”

Who Watches The Watchmen?

| Switzerland | Right | July 9, 2017

(I work in a candy shop at an airport. I ring up an English-speaking customer, by his looks a middle aged business man, who bought himself some sweets for the flight. When I put his items in a bag, this happened.)

Customer: “I’m watching you.” *smiling*

Me: *baffled* “Uhm… Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m watching you!”

(I have no idea what he wants and it’s really awkward and creepy. Suddenly he’s shocked:)

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no! That sounded really creepy, didn’t it? Oh, my god! It says so on your shirt and I thought it was funny!”

(I look down. I’m wearing a shirt with a cute bat with big eyes. Next to it, “I’m watching you” is printed in big letters.)

Me: “Oh, I really didn’t realize I’m wearing this shirt! I’m so sorry!”

(We laughed and he left. I didn’t wear that shirt for work again.)

The Scoop That Keeps On Scooping

| CA, USA | Right | July 5, 2017

(Despite signs posted nearby explaining what is available, despite them seeing everything the customers ahead of them order, despite them being repeat customers having gone through this routine before, this keeps happening:)

Customer: “I’d like a scoop.”

Me: “Okay, in a cup or a cone?”

Customer: “A scoop.”

Me: “Yes, but what do you want it in?”

Customer: “A scoop!”

Me: “In a cup, or a cone?”

Customer: “Oh! A cone.”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: “A… cone?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Oh! Sugar, I guess.”

Me: “Okay, so one scoop in a sugar cone… What flavor?”

Customer: “Just a scoop, please.”

Me: “Of which flavor?”

Customer: “Oh. Chocolate.”

Me: “Which chocolate? Regular, double, or brownie?”

(This is the sale that never ends.)

Hasn’t Got This Parenting Thing In The Bag

, , , , , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I work at a candy store in a mall. We have a rule posted on numerous signs that if you bag the bulk candy, you must buy it, as it is a health hazard for anyone to go dumping it back after they’ve scooped it. A man comes in with his little girl of probably six and he’s busy talking on his phone.)

Girl: “Daddy, what can I get?”

(The father waves her off and continues his phone call. She walks over and grabs a plastic bag. Before the man notices, she has packed the bag full of probably two pounds of assorted gummy candy.)

Father: “Oh, no, honey, don’t get that much!”

(Naturally, the father takes the bag and goes to dump it back into one of the gummy containers. Not only is this a health hazard, but the girl had mixed multiple kinds of candy, so it would be mixing things up.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t put that back.”

Father: “What? Why not?”

Me: “Because it is against health code to bag the candy and then put it back. It is posted all on numerous signs around the store.”

Father: “I refuse to pay for this! It’s outrageously priced and I didn’t want it to begin with!”

Me: “Sir, you are responsible for what your daughter did, even if you were unaware while you were speaking on the phone.”

(The man brings it over, pays for it, and walks out the door. He is clearly pissed of and angry at me. I hear his daughter talking as they head for the exit.)

Daughter: “Can I have some, Daddy?”

Father: “No.”

(He proceeded to drop the bag in a trash can before continuing to leave. The girl was clearly distraught. Talk about Father of the Year.)

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