Unhealthy Health Advice

, , , , | Healthy | September 28, 2018

(TriCare, the medical insurance that all US military dependents are on, has sent me to a new gynecologist for treatment of severe endometriosis. Her profile says that she is Catholic, but I don’t think much about it until I have my first few visits with her. Please note that my husband is unable to father a child due to chemical exposure while serving a combat tour in Iraq. We have decided that we are perfectly fine with not having children. I tell her that I don’t want to be a mother.)

New Gyno: “What?! You don’t want baby?! Why?”

(She is from the Philippines and her English isn’t entirely perfect.)

Me: “My husband is 100% unable to father a child. We have been having unprotected sex since we met over six years ago and we have never even had a pregnancy scare. I’m also not comfortable with being a mother.”

New Gyno: “But your husband almost forty and never had baby. He need baby! You have to give him baby!”

Me: “My husband is perfectly okay with not being a father. He is also in the process of being medically retired from the military, and we don’t think that it is a good time to have one now even if we could.”

New Gyno: “But baby make all the stress in your life go away. Baby make your husband’s PTSD from Iraq go away!”

Me: “What part of the fact that my husband can’t father a child do you not understand? I’m a Christian, and I believe that if God saw fit to give us a child in the last six years, he would have.”

New Gyno: “But you take birth control! All women without baby take birth control! You need to take my husband’s fertility awareness program! It $200 per session, per week!”

Me: *wondering where this came from because it’s not in my records* “Do you understand that I suffered a stroke at age twenty-six and I have a history of hypertension? If I had taken birth control for that long–” *I’m thirty-two* “–I would be dead by now! In thirteen years of being sexually active, I have never taken birth control, and I have never been pregnant! I don’t think that paying your husband $200 to learn how to count my cycles is going to get me pregnant. It’s also highly unethical for you to pressure someone into paying money that they might not have for a product that isn’t going to help!”

New Gyno: “But you lie to me about stroke! You never have stroke! You able to walk!”

Me: “I had eight Transient Ischemic Attacks!” *mini-strokes* “If you look at my face when I smile, it droops on one side. I also have partial paralysis in my right hand. I don’t know where you went to medical school, but both of those are the results of a stroke! If you want to really know why I won’t have a child, it’s because I take a cocktail of psychiatric medication to treat Bipolar Disorder and severe PTSD that my ex-husband left me with. If you’d looked at my records you would have known! All three medications are bad for an unborn baby! I also have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I don’t want any children of mine having the same problems that I have!”

New Gyno: “But you can stop medications. God give you the strength to stop taking medications! God want you to have baby! It not normal for woman to not want baby!”

Me: “You recommend stopping lithium cold turkey just to get pregnant?”

New Gyno: “Yes! I don’t believe that those medications help mental illness! Only God help mental illness!”

Me: “Are you aware that I could die if I stopped lithium cold turkey?”

New Gyno: “Why you die? It just like stopping Prozac.”

Me: “No, it’s not! I had a dose lowered once, and I got really sick. You mean to tell me that you equate an antidepressant to one of the most potent mood stabilizers on the market?”

New Gyno: “Yes! All psychiatric drugs the same!”

Me: “You have to be the craziest doctor that I have ever met! Is it your personal mission to make sure that every woman on this planet becomes a mother? I believe that if God wanted me to become a mother, he would have made me one!”

New Gyno: “Yes. All woman need to become mother! I have five children and it make my life wonderful!”

Me: “You need psychiatric help! I’m going to a doctor who understands my medical issues!”

(My husband was medically retired a few months later, and we moved to a small community in eastern Kentucky. TriCare assigned me to a young female gynecologist who was a recent medical school graduate. She agreed that it was a REALLY bad idea for me to get pregnant, and is currently trying to get TriCare to approve a hysterectomy due to my nightmarish periods and history of pelvic pain. The new gynecologist thinks that the one I saw in Delaware is a complete loon!)

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Needs A “Change” In Tactics

, , , , | Legal | August 16, 2018

(My supervisor is telling a coworker and me about a high school student who was working in the store one holiday season. My supervisor was on one register, and the  student was on another when a man charged into the store and right up to her register.)

Man: “I want the money.”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Man: “I want you to open the register, and get me the money.”

Coworker: “Sir, I can’t open the register. I’ll need to get a manager to open it.” *she reaches for her radio and calls out, the whole time staring the man right in the eye* “MOD, MOD, there’s a man up at the front who’s demanding money out of the register.”

Manager: *over the radio* “What, like the change was miscounted and he wants it fixed?”

Coworker: *continuing to make eye contact with the man* “Oh, no. He’s trying to rob us.”

(As soon as my coworker oh-so-casually mentioned he was attempting to rob them, he ran out of the store as fast as he could. My supervisor was laughing too hard at the story to tell us if he was arrested or not for the haphazard robbery attempt.)

Doesn’t Take Much To Strip Them Of Humanity

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(I am behind a woman in line whose total comes to $37. She painstakingly counts out 37 one-dollar bills. The clerk then follows the same procedure, laboriously counting the bills.)

Customer: *now impatient* “You’d never make it as a stripper!”

A Token Of Your Lack Of Appreciation

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I’m a manager at a batting cage place that also sells food. A guy rents a bat and goes down to the cages. About a minute later he comes storming up while I’m preparing food for a rather large order.)

Customer: *to my off-duty coworker* “The cage isn’t turning on!”

Me: “What cage are you in?”

Customer: “I don’t know! The cage at the end!”

(We have eight cages and the last two have a start button.)

Me: *as customer storms away* “Did you hit the start button?”


(I finish my previous customer’s order and go down before he has a complete meltdown.)

Me: “How many tokens did you put in?”

Customer: “How many do you think?! TWO!”

(I’m fed up with his attitude.)

Me: “Well, if you look here, the sign says three!

Customer: “Well, if you just spok—”

Me: “Well, maybe if you could read!”

Customer: “You don’t have to get so mad!”

(I rarely lose my temper. But when the customer makes such a stink when it’s 100% their fault, it’s hard not to.)

Customers Reach Breaking Point Very Quickly

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2018

(I work at a large national chain craft store at the cutting counter, which is at the back of the store. I’m cutting some fabric for a customer when another woman storms up to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Can I—”

Customer: “Is there anyone else who can ring?! There’s a huge line and one cashier!”

(I’m well aware that two of our three cashiers are up front at the registers. One is on break, for which she was about an hour overdue. Our manager, who would have jumped on, is helping a very needy customer elsewhere. I call over the radio anyway, and, as suspected, they’re both currently at their tills.)

Me: “Ma’am, two of our cashiers are up there right now.”

Customer: “No! There’s only one!”

Me: *sighing and reaching for my radio* “I have a lady back here who’s adamant that there’s only one of you.”

Coworker: “No, [Coworker] and I are both up here. I’m looking at her.”

Me: “Ma’am, they’re saying they’re both—”


Me: “Be that as it may, they’re both saying that they’re there, and our only other cashier is on her break at the moment, so no one else is available.”

Customer: *yelling* “Then take her off break!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s illegal.”

(She stormed back towards the front and apparently out of the store, according to one of the TWO cashiers. I know it’s not necessarily illegal to work through a mandated 15-minute break, but it’s certainly rude to demand someone leave theirs when the line isn’t even all that long!)

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