I was working at a fast food chain and a young man came up to ask me about our hours.

Young Man: “Are you open tomorrow?”

Me: “Tuesday? Yep, open twenty-four hours as usual.”

Young Man: “Even since it’s Valentine’s Day?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yes. We only close on Christmas Day. Everyone is open on Valentine’s.”

Young Man: “Oh, good. Do I need to make a reservation?”

He did not make a reservation. I didn’t see him on Valentine’s, though I’m sure his date would have been happy that he tried to ensure they had a nice evening by making a reservation at a fast food chain.

This story is part of the Valentine’s Day 2024 roundup!

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I am working in the gift shop at a zoo to get by while I am in college. The shop is pretty big; from one end, you can’t really see the other end. There’s one checkout next to the entrance; it’s kind of on its own at that side of the shop. Then there are the three main checkouts at the other end of the shop by the exit.

One day, I’m standing at the checkout by the entrance. I like working on that one because it’s never busy; people don’t normally walk through the whole shop and then go back to the entrance to pay. It’s an odd place to have a checkout, but I’m not complaining — easy day for me.

A guy walks out of the zoo and into the shop. He immediately turns and looks at me.

Guy: “Is this checkout open?”

Me: “Yes, is there something you’re looking for?”

He doesn’t respond and just walks back out of the shop and back into the zoo. Bit weird, I think, but I don’t really think anything more of it and carry on working.

About half an hour later, my manager comes over and asks me to cash up and go and takeover from someone at one of the main checkouts. I cash up and close the checkout. I turn all the lights off, put a cover over the desktop, and put out the sign that tells people to pay at the exit.

These are all pretty clear signs that the checkout isn’t open, especially the literal sign.

A while later, I’m working on the main checkouts and this guy comes stomping up. I realize it’s the same guy that came in like an hour ago asking if that checkout was open.

Guy: “I’ve been stood waiting at that checkout for twenty minutes!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, that checkout has been closed. You can pay here, though.”

Guy: “Well, you told me it was open, and now you’ve wasted my time!”

Me: “Again, I apologize, but we closed that checkout.”

Guy: *More annoyed* “I came in before and you told me that it was open. You lied to me.”

Me: “Sir, the checkout was open an hour ago; since then we’ve closed it. There was a sign that says to pay over here.”

Guy: “Well, I didn’t see any sign, how am I supposed to know it’s closed? And why would you close it after telling me it’s open?”

I’ve had enough. How clueless is this guy? Who in their right mind comes into a shop an hour beforehand to see if a checkout’s open? Things aren’t going to be the same an hour later. How could he not tell that it was closed? Every other customer had no issue with seeing that. Did he not notice flocks of people walking past with items to pay at the other end?

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but again, we closed that checkout a little while ago. I’ll see what we can do about making it more obvious that the checkout’s closed.”

Guy: “It’s just poor customer service. You’ve wasted my time here! Your management is going to know about this. Just check me out so I can leave.”

I thought it best to not say it out loud, but I was thinking, “You’re d*** right they will. My manager’s going to love this one.”

This is the story of how my dad failed driver’s education because of his siblings.

My dad’s oldest sister was the first member of his family to take driver’s education in high school. She needed glasses but wasn’t aware that she needed them at the time. Due to her nearsightedness, she managed to drive the driver’s ed vehicle, with the screaming instructor and three other kids inside, off of a pier and into a lake.

After that, the school bought a car with a passenger brake system for the instructor to use.

My dad’s youngest sister went next. During her class, the instructor (the same man) walked in front of the car while his sister was getting out. She accidentally failed to turn off the car and stepped out. Driverless, with power still being applied to the wheels, the car slammed the teacher against the wall of the school, trapping him.

It took nearly an hour to get him free. The school instituted new procedures so that, should something like this happen in the future, it would get fixed faster.

Then, it was my dad’s turn. Same driver’s ed instructor. The instructor was calling roll. When he reached my dad’s name, he visibly blanched. He never let my dad actually drive, and at the end of the class, he marked my dad as failing.

Dad’s dad was on the school board. He learned that my dad had failed driver’s ed and demanded to know why; no accidents had been reported from my dad. 

Long story short, the next year, the school had a new driver’s ed instructor. The old one won some sort of settlement or compensation for psychological harm during his time at work, and the school paid for my dad to retake private driver’s education with an off-site facility.

My dad’s little brother went on to be the first in the family to pass driver’s education on the first try, and he eventually became an automotive engineer.

I house/pet-sit for a family that has a small farm; they have five dogs, six cats, three peacocks, twelve chickens, twelve ducks, four goats, and a donkey. I usually go up for the weekend if they decide they want to go up to their cabin in the mountains.

I get up there and they haven’t left yet. They are just finishing up lunch and the mom offers me some dessert; they are having apples and cinnamon. I accept the apples but not the cinnamon because I’m not a fan of that combo.

Mom: “Oh, it’s really good. I’m sure you’ll like it!”

Me: “I’m good with the apples. I’m not a big fan of apples and cinnamon; I prefer apples and peanut butter.”

Mom: *Straight-faced* “We don’t eat peanut butter because the ingredients can be used to make dynamite.”

Me: *Blinks in surprise* “Um… Well, I really like it more than the cinnamon. But I’ll just have the apples, then, thanks.”

We all ate our dessert and they left for the mountains. I never got her reasoning for telling me that. Why not just say, “We don’t have any,” or, “We don’t eat peanut butter.”? Honestly, I quickly grew to dislike staying at the house, and circumstances finally came together where they stopped calling me, but that always sticks out as one of the weirder interactions I had with them.

I swing by the corner store for some eggs. The first, second, and third cartons are out of date. I manage to find one box that expires tomorrow. Luckily, I will use them up by then.

I pass a worker on his phone as I go to the till. He’s got an open box to stack the shelf but seems to be daydreaming.

Me: “Err, all of the other eggs are out of date.”

Staff: “Oh, you want me to throw these away?”

Me: “No, these are in date. The others are out of date.”

Staff: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “You might want to get rid of them before someone buys them.”

Staff: “Oh, yeah, good idea.”

He starts giggling. He doesn’t seem sarcastic, just out of it. I don’t know what else to do, so I go to the till.

Me: “Oh, and all the rest of the eggs are out of date.”

Cashier: “Really? Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

Me: “I did tell your colleague, but he seemed… busy.”

He rings me up and radios his colleague.

Me: “Unless that walkie-talkie reaches other planets, I don’t think you’re going to have much luck.”

He shook his head and tried anyway, getting more annoyed as he repeated himself. I passed the aisle again where the worker from earlier was still yet to negotiate a single item back onto the shelf, blissfully unaware of what that angry noise was.

I’m not sure what attracts them there, but every other new starter seems to last a few weeks and is never quite on the same planet as anyone else.