Unfiltered Story #148667

, , , , | | Unfiltered | May 2, 2019

(I work in the main restaurant at my local zoo, this takes places in the outdoor, two-tiered terrace outside the restaurant which I have been assigned to clear. The steps leading up to the top terrace had just been remade and the cement was still wet so the maintenance team had taped off the stairs and had a sign directing people to use the ramp leading up a few meters away. I have just finished cleaning a table and spot a child jumping up and down the taped off steps, with a woman (I believe to be her grandma) just standing watching her)
Me: Hello madam, is that your grandchild on the stairs?
G: Yes, is there a problem at all?
Me: I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask that you take her off the stairs as they have just been relaid and the cement is still wet.
G: Oh, I wouldn’t worry dear, she’s doing no harm. (To her grandchild) Come along dear, this mean woman won’t let you play.
Me: (Now feeling a bit annoyed and offended) The area has been taped off for a reason, ma’am.
(Suddenly the girl slips, knocking one of the bricks out)
G: (Now screaming at me) Now look what has happened! This zoo is a death trap! I demand to see your manager!
(Luckily my manager was on the upper terrace talking to the head of maintenance so came over when she heard shouting)
Manager: How can I help you?
(Grandma angrily screeches about us not clearly marking out a dangerous area and demands compensation for her grandchild’s grazed knee)
Manager: Sorry, did you mean the red tape, orange traffic cones and warning signs that are blocking off the stairs? (She points at the tape, cones and sign, Grandma goes bright red)
Grandma: (Spluttering) Well… Well I-
Manager: I would also like to point out ma’am that your grandchild has caused damage to a set of stairs that have only just been relain and this isn’t the first time you have caused trouble on the zoo grounds.
(After this my manager apologies to me and escorts grandma and her grandchild to her office.)
(I later heard that the other trouble she had caused involved damaging information displays, damaging products in the gift shop and harassing other members of staff and zoo visitors. Grandma and her whole family have now been banned from the zoo for the foreseeable future, thank goodness)

InGen Up To Their Tricks Again

, , , , , , | Right | March 11, 2019

(My boyfriend and I are standing at the new clouded leopard exhibit at our local zoo, which recently expanded and added several new animals. Next to the exhibit, there is a sign comparing the clouded leopard’s jaw and teeth to that of a sabertooth tiger, as they are strikingly similar. Sabertooth tigers have been extinct for about 10,000 years. While we’re standing there, a family of a mom, a dad, and a roughly fifteen-year-old daughter walk up to the exhibit.)

Mom: “Oh, what’s this one?”

Daughter: *glancing at sign* “It’s a, uh… sabertooth tiger.”

Mom & Dad: “Oh, wow!”

(They leave.)

Me & My Boyfriend: *stunned silence, wide-eyed disbelief*

(Then, a man who appeared to be in his forties walks up with a little girl, probably seven or eight.)

Man: “Look, honey! It’s a—“ *looks at sign* “—sabertooth tiger! How cool!”

(My boyfriend and I stood there for the next five minutes trying to rationalize what we had just witnessed. We then spent the rest of the day trying to imagine what kind of provisions a zoo would need to take in order to actually house a saber tooth tiger.)

A Disturbing Kind Of Monkey Business

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2018

(My mom, her boyfriend, and I are in the zoo on a hunt for a new baby monkey that was just born a few months ago. It’s on the other side of the huge place, and by the time we get there we’re sweating and already annoyed with people disrespecting animals and not reading what they are. We find the baby and it’s super cute! We’re on a built path that is above ground with random gaps in the wall around us. We’re silently watching it climb all over the trees and the top of the enclosure when I hear a mom say:)

Mother: “Oh! It wants to hold your hand!”

Son #1: “It’s so cute!”

(All three of us whip our head to where the kid is. He’s poking four of his fingers through a gap in the wall. Right away I’m in a bit of a panic, waiting for the kid to scream or something, and for the mother to go ballistic and demand for the monkey to be killed.)

Mother: “Here comes the baby!”

Son #1: “They’re licking me!”

Daughter: “I want to touch it!”

Son #2: “Me, too!”

(Now all three of us are worriedly looking at each other. Now that both the mother and baby monkeys have licked and touched the kid, they got whatever is on his hands! They could get sick with something that we can’t! Plus, it’s a baby; they already don’t have much of an immune system!)

My Mom: *whispering* “We have to tell somebody.”

(We started to walk off when we noticed the mother was sticking her ENTIRE arm out of the walkway! We went speed-walking through the rest of the zoo, searching for an employee. We got to an older lady and she took out her walkie-talkie and reported it. I believe we saved that baby, and hopefully kept from any other monkey from getting sick. There was already one that was — he was being quarantined — so I bet that’s how he got sick.)

The Tusken Raider Exhibit Is This Way

, , , , , | Related | September 12, 2018

(My parents and I are walking around the zoo. It’s near the end of our day there and we’re pretty tired. We’re walking around the African area and my mom asks a question.)

Mom: “Where are the sand people?”

Me: “What? Sand people?”

Mom: “Yeah, you know, the little guys that…” *mimes popping up out of the ground*

Me: “Oh! Meerkats, mom. I think you mean meerkats.” *dies laughing* “I’m calling them sand people from now on, though.”

(And yes, we did end up finding where the “sand people” were, and had a good time watching them. I won’t let her forget this, though.)

Unfiltered Story #119334

, | Unfiltered | September 2, 2018

(This is at a zoo with a dinosaur exhibit on. They are robotic dinosaurs, so they can move their heads. As I’m waiting for my cousins to come out of the exhibit, I hear this exchange.)

Girl: “How’d you like it?”

Boy: “I thought there would be real dinosaurs; I was disappointed.”


Girl: “They’ve been extinct for, like, a million years!”

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