Left The Farm… And The Reservation

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I am working in a farm shop as a student. The shop is located close to a farm but is independent of them from an administrative point of view — just selling some of their products amongst others. The shop is always full of posh people willing to buy local and organic products. I am alone in charge of everything, and ten people are queuing, when some weird lady opens the door of the shop:)

Customer: “I saw a dead pigeon outside the shop.”

Me: “Yes, and?”

Customer: “It has clear signs of poisoning.”

Me: “I don’t know; everything outside our shop does not depend on us because it’s part of the farm, so I cannot tell you.”

(I go back to my customers, but she comes to me again, screaming.)

Customer: “You kill pigeons!”

Me: “I don’t. I have nothing to do with this. Miss, I have many other customers waiting; may I proceed?”

Customer: “You work in this shop; you are responsible!”

Me: “This really does not depend on me. Please go ask the farm responsible about this.”

Customer: *furiously* “I WILL NEVER BUY YOUR PRODUCTS!” *slams the door*

When It Comes To Animal Welfare, They’re Not Horsing Around

, , , | Healthy | March 14, 2019

(I am home alone on our farm one afternoon — my family is out on errands — and there is a knock on the door. When I open the door, a man is standing there and there’s an SPCA van in the driveway.)

SPCA: “Hello, miss. We’ve had a complaint put forth about your animal welfare.”

Me: “What?!”

SPCA: “That horse over there.”

(He pointed at a horse in the field that my mum had taken in from a neighbour who was going to send her to the glue factory — yup, that’s really a thing. She was clearly sickly and dying, but we were giving her the best life we could until she passed, something her previous owner had no intention of doing. It was a serious charge and took almost a week to clear up… and $200 to get the vet out and write a note that we were giving her all the care she needed.)

Unfiltered Story #137026

, , | Unfiltered | January 18, 2019

(the apple bags are paper and commonly rip, so we offer to tie a plastic bag around it in case it rips.)
Me: Do you want the apples in a bag?
Customer: What? It’s in a bag (gestures to bag).
Me:I know but it could rip and you’re apples might fall out
Customer: That’s ridiculous! This bag is perfectly fine!
Me:Okay, have a nice day..
(customer picks up the bag, it rips, and all the apples fall on the ground)
Me: And that’s why we use bags

Unfiltered Story #135446

, , | Unfiltered | January 5, 2019

Talked to a crazy person from Illinois.
(customer) ‘Where are you located?
(me) ‘We’re about 10 miles north of the Iowa border”
(customer) ” I haven’t heard of that; is the somewhere up North?”
(me) ……..”The state of Iowa”

Unfiltered Story #127633

, , | Unfiltered | November 25, 2018

In college I worked at a farm that gave horseback riding lessons. At the time I was cleanshaven and had lip piercings. This exchange with a student’s mother and grandmother happened one day while I was waiting for a lesson to end so my boss could hand the children over to me for help putting their ponies away.
Student’s Grandmother: “Don’t those hurt??”
Me: “Huh? Oh! The piercings? They hurt a bit to get, but they’ve long since healed and I don’t even feel them anymore.”
Grandmother: “But how do you put on lipstick?”
Me: (Not catching the implication) “I…don’t? Why would I be putting on lipstick?”
Grandmother: “You can’t possibly go around in those barn clothes all the time! You must put on makeup when you’re dressing up for things.”
Me: (Finally getting it) “Oh! No. No, ma’am. I’m a boy. I don’t wear makeup.”
Student’s Mother: “You’re a boy and you ride horses?!”
Me: “Yup! Bit of a minority, but we exist.”
Mother: “Are you gay or something?”
Me: “I am, but it’s funny that people assume that. I do a sport where I’m surrounded by athletic women in tight pants all the time; you’d think people would assume I was straight!”
Grandmother: “Are you REALLY a boy?”
Me: “Yes. Yes I am.”
Grandmother: “Like, for real? You’re not one of those girls going through a phase of wearing her boyfriend’s clothing?”
Me: “…I guarantee I’m 100% male.”
(Thankfully the children got off their ponies just then and saved me from continuing the conversation.)

Page 1/912345...Last