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How Dare Women Exist In Public?!

, , , , , | Romantic | January 2, 2021

When we are still dating, my husband gets tickets to the local NFL team game. Like all arenas and public venues, the seats are mashed in to make room for as many people as possible. 

During the first half of the game, the man beside me constantly has his leg against mine or elbows me in the breast every time he moves. In a typical male fashion, my husband doesn’t notice and brushes it off.

Husband: “It’s just because it’s close quarters.”

During halftime, I express my frustration with Mr. Gropey next to me and I swap seats with my husband. Within moments, he has a thigh against his and an elbow to his chest.

Well, it seems that gets Mr. Gropey’s attention; apparently, it isn’t as soft as it used to be. When he looks over and sees a beefier man smiling and waving at him where there was a woman before, he suddenly finds a lot more space on the other side of his seat.

Husband: “Huh. You weren’t kidding about him constantly trying to feel you up.”

Me: “Welcome to the life of a woman.”

This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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People Like This Are Exhausting

, , , , , , | Working | November 11, 2020

I’d worked in this job at a popular sandwich shop for four years and I’ve been contemplating moving on. I don’t find the motivation to do so until the day this story occurs.

We tend to run short-staffed because the general manager is forced to conserve labor, and if a single person calls off, the whole day is thrown off and everyone runs around in a panic trying to get everything done. It’s very stressful and a bad environment for anyone with anxiety, like me.

One day, one of the drivers calls in sick several hours before his shift. This driver is one of the most responsible people I know. In two years working there, he has put in a single time-off request for getting his wisdom teeth taken out, and he put it in months in advance. He never calls in sick, and on the day in question, he is actively throwing up and literally cannot safely come in. I overhear the general manager explaining to the area manager what’s going on.

General Manager: “We’re short-staffed; [Driver] called in sick.”

Area Manager: “What, did his mangina explode?!”

I stopped in my tracks and fixed him with my most ferocious glare. He didn’t notice, so I quickly looked “mangina” up, and basically, he was calling the driver a wimp by comparing him to a woman.

I was furious because one, being a woman is not an insult, and two, how can you say that about someone who has such a track record of responsibility? While fuming, I recalled every sexist, racist, and downright rude thing the area manager had ever said, and I decided that was it.

I walked into the back, pulled out a piece of blank printer paper, drew a little doodle of a fox on it, and wrote, “This is a picture of a fox. This is also my two weeks notice. Love, [My Nickname].” And I left it on the desk for the general manager to find.

True to my word, I finished out my two weeks and found a much better job, with better pay and a healthier work environment. I’m still friends with lots of my former coworkers, including the driver, and they’ve told me that the area manager is still confused about why what he said made me quit. I’m sure someone will have the patience to explain it to him eventually.

Oh, Did I Say [Room]? I Meant [Other Room]

, , , , , , | Working | February 27, 2020

I am travelling for business and staying in a hotel. After a very trying day, I decide to stop in at the hotel’s bar for a couple of drinks before turning in. My boss is willing to cover things like that, so long as it is kept to a reasonable amount.

“Hey. I’d like a [Drink], please.”

“Sure. Are you staying with us? We can charge it directly to your room if you are.”

“I am. I’m in [Room].”

I started fumbling in my pocket to pull out my hotel key.


The bartender punches something into the register and then wanders off before I get my key out. After about half a minute, he comes back, hands me the drink, and starts to walk off again.

“Don’t you need my key card?”

“Huh? Why?”

“To prove that I’m actually staying at the hotel?”

He stares at me blankly for a few seconds before the light seems to come on.

“Oh. Yeah.”

He took the card and swiped it at the register, but that was how I found out that apparently, anyone could come in and throw out my room number, and he’d bill drinks to my room.

Indecisiveness: A Sign Of True Management

, , , , , | Working | January 6, 2020

(The shift manager and plant manager stop me and pull me into the office.)

Plant Manager: “[General Manager] is denying the fifteen minutes of daily overtime to the team leaders, and they still haven’t gotten paid for what they did work.”

(I had, with approval, asked the team leaders to come in fifteen minutes early each day to set up.)

Shift Supervisor: “I’ll have to tell HR to pay out what they already worked, and then tell the team leaders no more coming in early.”

Me: “But I thought [General Manager] had given me a verbal okay for the overtime?”

Plant Manager: “Well, now he’s giving a verbal no.”

Me: “But we only did this because he said okay.”

Plant Manager: “Your logic is correct.”

Me: “So, I didn’t do anything wrong?”

(I’ve only been a supervisor for three months and I’m still kind of skittish.)

Shift Supervisor: “No!”

Plant Manager: “No, you did everything right. [General Manager] just changed his mind.”

(And this is but one of the many reasons no one likes the general manager.)

Flease Don’t Bring Him In

, , , , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(I’m a manager at a pet store and we do allow people to bring their pets into the store. However, we do have stipulations.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, [Pet Store], how may I help you?”

Caller: “My puppy has fleas; can you help?”

Me: “I think we can; we have many items to help with fleas. Can I ask you about your puppy?”

(He goes on to explain about his puppy, and it’s obvious over the phone he’s got a bad flea problem.)

Me: “I can help you right away if you come to the store. Just ask for me.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll be right there. Is it okay if I bring my puppy?”

Me: “Sir, while we do allow pets in the store, I’m going to ask that you do not bring your puppy, because we do not want our other guests to get infested.”

Caller: “Okay, I understand. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

(Sure enough, about ten minutes later a man shows up, but he does have his puppy with him and it is literally covered head to toe in fleas.)

Me: “Sir, aren’t you the man I just spoke with on the phone? Didn’t I ask you not to bring your puppy?”

Caller: “Yes, but I wanted you to see just how bad it was!”

(I managed to get him to take his puppy outside. He was actually a very nice customer and very happy to have me help him out, and eventually, he did see why he shouldn’t have brought his dog into the store.)