This Lesson Took A Bad Turn

| CT, USA | Learning | July 15, 2017

(Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that driver’s-ed teachers have a hell of a job. But I swear my instructor was just making things worse for himself. This is just one example.)

Instructor: “Okay, so, you’re going to make this turn coming up.”

Me: “Okay.” *slows down and moves to turn the wheel*

Instructor: “No! Too soon! Wait!”

Me: “Um… okay…”

(I’ve slowed down quite a bit now because he’s made me nervous.)

Instructor: “Not yet!”

(We’re now half-the-car through the intersection.)

Instructor: “Waaaait…”

(The nose of the car is now almost PAST the intersection.)

Instructor: “NOW! TURN TURN TURN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

(I try to turn, but this is hindered by the fact that we are WAY too far past the turn-off, and the fact that immediately after yelling for me to turn my instructor slams on his failsafe brake, and I end up almost in the grass on the corner.)

Instructor: *turning to me* “So, you turned too wide.”

Me: “…?!”

(Now having been a driver for almost a decade, I have learned that there is, in fact, a window of more than a nanosecond in which you can make a right turn. I give some credit to this instructor for the fact that I’m STILL a nervous driver.)

Back Up On Your Expectations

, | Learning | May 29, 2017

(I am sitting in driving school and we are learning about reversing. Because all the shops are within walking distance of where I grew up I don’t see the need to get a car so I’m a little older than everyone in the class, but know next to nothing about driving. My instructor, however, seems to think because I’m older I should know more than my classmates.)

Instructor: “Okay, everyone, we’re going to learn about reversing. What are the colors of your reverse lights?”

(One student says red but the rest of the class can’t figure out the color of the other light. Before I can say anything the class sends out the guesses I was going to say so I stay quiet trying to think of what else it could be.)

Instructor: *turns to me* “[My Name], do you know what color the final light is?”

Me: “No idea.”

Instructor: *annoyed* “Why not?!”

Me: “Because I’m usually IN the car when it’s backing up.”

Meet The Theoretical Family

, | VA, USA | Learning | December 14, 2016

(In Driver’s Ed, we’re talking about what to do when your car is stuck on railroad tracks.)

Teacher: “What you should do is leave your car, and run away at a 45 degree—”

Student: “Wait, how long do you have to get out of the car?”

Teacher: “Seconds.”

Student: “Hold on, what if you have your whole family in there? Like, 20 people?”

Teacher: “Well… first of all, you would need a license to carry that many people, and have a vehicle they would fit in.”

Student: “But what IF?”

Related:

From Not Always Related:
Meet The Blunt Family
Meet The Anxiety Family
Meet The Crispy Family
Meet The Clumsy Family

Cool Under The Most Testing Of Circumstances

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Learning | December 7, 2016

(I take driver’s ed at the local YMCA and have a total nut-job for a teacher. He’s essentially a party animal and incredibly fun for a driver’s ed teacher. We have four written tests for the class, all of which are required to pass. I have taken three of them and have scored 74% thus far. Essentially I need to get one question right out of 25 for the last, but I am sick that day and presumably need to make it up. On the last day of class he’s handing out graduation certificates and calls my name.)

Me: “But what about the last test?”

Teacher: *handing me the paper* “Get the h*** out of here!”

(So cool. A teacher with both attitude and common sense. That test was a waste of his time and mine.)

An Ironic Accident

| IN, USA | Learning | May 25, 2016

(I’m on a practice drive with a very strict Driver’s Ed. instructor. He’s spent the entire drive so far quizzing me on traffic laws. Finally, he tells me to pull over to practice parking on a large hill:)

Instructor: “Okay, next question… What is the number one cause of accidents involving teenage drivers?”

Me: *trying to answer while pulling over, straightening the wheels, setting the brake, etc* “Uh… uh… I don’t know. Not watching where you’re going?

Instructor: “No! The number one cause of teen driver accidents is talking to other people in the vehicle!”

(After that, it was time for me to drive back to the school, answering even more questions the entire way there!)

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