I’m learning how to drive. I’ve just gotten comfortable and am driving, holding the steering wheel with my fingertips.
Instructor: “You shouldn’t do that.”
Me: “Is it on the list of reasons why you can fail me?”
Instructor: “No, but… what if your passenger reaches over and grabs the wheel like this?!”
He does just that, grabbing the wheel and giving it a yank.
Me: “Uh, if my passenger does that, they’re about to stop being my passenger. Ever again.”
I come home from high school with the paperwork for my school’s driver’s ed course.
Me: “Mom, this needs parental consent.”
Mom: “No.”
Me: “Why?”
Mom: “I don’t want you stealing my car.”
Me: “I don’t need a driver’s license to steal your car.”
Mom: *Laughs.* “…Not helping your case, future car thief.”
She did sign it after I explained that my driving means that I can drive her to her weekly mahjong nights and she can have a beer, finally.
I’m at the reception when a man comes in.
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to apply for driving lessons. It’s been a while, and my licence is about to expire, so I think I need to retake the test.”
Me: “Alright, no problem. Can I see your provisional licence?”
Customer: “No, I’ve got my full licence. I passed my test about ten years ago.”
Me: “…If you’ve got your full licence, you don’t need to retake lessons or the driving test.”
Customer: “Then why does it expire next month?”
He says this so smugly and confidently, I almost want him to pay for a few lessons out of spite. Sadly, I succumb to professionalism and tell him he just needs to get his license and mugshot updated with the DVLA (our DMV), and he’s good to go.
When I saw him driving out of the entrance of our car park instead of the exit, I immediately regretted my decision.
Okay, a two-for-one here. Both stories aren’t mine but are from my driving instructor who shared them with me when I was studying to get my license.
In Europe, you learn driving in private driving schools, which can take upwards of a year or more depending on how good you are. All such schools that I know of have huge decals on their cars and often a sign on the roofs clearly marking them as vehicles driven by potential newbies who have never done something like that before, so people should be a bit more patient around them and expect mistakes to be made.
One day during a lesson, a cop pulled [Instructor]’s car over for something. (I don’t remember if he told me what for.) The cop actually walked to the driver’s side of the clearly-marked driving school car and asked the student for their licence and registration! The scared-to-h*** student basically yelled at him that they didn’t have a license. [Instructor] had to get out and talk to the cop.
In the second one, [Instructor] was driving with another student when it started raining heavily. They turned on the front fog lights to see better. (This was allowed. Only the back one would have been forbidden.)
On their way, though, there was some sort of police exercise being held, and a baby-faced newbie cop pulled them over because, according to him, the fog light was forbidden. He argued with [Instructor] to the point that [Instructor] got out, opened the trunk, and pulled out the German law book about traffic laws, telling the cop to please show him where it said that the front fog light was forbidden to be used in the rain. They argued for a while until the cop’s superior noticed.
After hearing what was going on, the superior ripped the cop a new one and let [Instructor] and the student go.
Dear readers,
I love to drive, and it feels like second nature now, but I remember how difficult it seemed when I started over half my life ago. I distinctly remember panicking the first time I had to sneeze while driving; I would be forced to take my eyes off the road for a split second! What if I crashed and died?! (Spoiler: I did not.)
My first driver’s ed instructor was one of my least favorite educators I’ve ever had to work with. She made me incredibly nervous the entire time, barking confusing orders and aggressively correcting seemingly unimportant details. When a different instructor picked me up for the next lesson, I was so relieved, I nearly cried.
Today, we’ve rounded up 12 stories from the Not Always Right archives about Driver’s Ed, from terrible teachers to silly students and all sorts in between! Strap on your seatbelt and enjoy!
An Ironic Accident – This is worse than when the dentist asks you questions with their hands in your mouth.
It Drives In The Family – This is why my mom gave up teaching me and had my dad take over. (It didn’t work.)
This Lesson Took A Bad Turn – Uh… at least you didn’t hit the curb?
