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The Shinto God That Broke The Camel’s Back

, , , , | Related | October 18, 2021

My girlfriend’s mother is the worst bigot I have ever had the misfortune to meet. She is a Japanese Christian, straight, cisgender female; she looks down on homosexuality, refuses to believe that bisexuality is a thing, scorns transgender people, denounces any non-Christian belief as sinful, believes in sexual abstinence before marriage, thinks any relationship that is not exclusive is not a relationship, and insists on traditional gender roles. Pretty much the only nice thing I can say about her is that she doesn’t seem to be racist; I’m a black male, and I’ve never heard her scorn me for that. The family moved here to Canada while the kids were in middle school, and I met my girlfriend in high school.

Chris Rock once said, “Whoever you hate will end up in your family.” Well, my girlfriend’s family is the embodiment of that quote, and thanks to those prejudices, her mother is no longer a welcome part of the family. Her father, bless the man, divorced her and got custody of the kids after it turned out their own children weren’t exempt from her bigotry.

My girlfriend is the fourth of five children; twin sisters, a brother, her, and her younger sister. One of the twins is a lesbian, the other is trans, the brother is very effeminate, and the youngest sister is bisexual and is currently in a polyamorous relationship with her boyfriend and girlfriend. All of them have been sexually active since they came of age; currently, only the brother is married.

As for my girlfriend… Well, she’s not comfortable with the fact that she basically conforms to her mother’s beliefs. She and I have a largely non-sexual relationship, and I’m built like a brute, which means I tend to do a lot of the heavy lifting — both figuratively and literally. We currently live together but do not have plans to get married, and I’m ashamed to say that I’m not as good a cook as she is. I’m trying to learn, I swear!

Her mother goes out of her way to drop in on us every so often, acting civil while making not-so-subtle insults toward her other children under the pretext of “visiting her daughter like a good mother should”. Having been raised to show respect when you receive respect, I’m unfortunately too cowardly to try and push back against her, given that she doesn’t insult us.

Then, one fateful day, she happens to stop by while we’re watching an anime together. We watch with Japanese audio and English subtitles, and we happen to pause the episode while a certain name is on the screen; during a lull in the conversation, I notice the name and ask my girlfriend about it.

Me: “Kagutsuchi? What does that name mean?”

Girlfriend: “It’s the Shinto god of fire.”

Me: “Huh. I’ve always been curious about Shinto gods.”

Mother: “Why on earth would you be interested in that sort of heresy?”

Me: “Because they come up a lot in games I play. I’m always looking up what a name means, but when it turns up something like ‘sun goddess,’ I go, ‘Oh, that’s an entire creation myth,’ and I go back to my game.”

Mother: “Good.”

Me: “No, not good. I shouldn’t be so ignorant of other peoples’ beliefs. I just know that if I start reading about it, I’m gonna keep reading about it until my battery is dead and I lose all my progress. One of these days, I need to sit down and actually read some of that stuff.”

Girlfriend: “Maybe not on your own. I could help teach you. I know a lot about the traditional Shinto stories.”

Mother: *Suddenly outraged* “I can’t f****** believe this!”

Me: “What? You can’t believe that people actually want to know about different cultures and beliefs?”

Mother: “You’re just freaks like all the rest!” *Points at [Girlfriend]* “I was so glad you were sane, and it turns out you’ve been learning all that bulls***!”

Girlfriend: “You want to talk about bulls***?! You’ve been treating [Brother] and all my sisters like monsters! What’s wrong with accepting them for who they are?!”

Mother: “I didn’t have children so I could be surrounded by a bunch of [homophobic slur]s and heretics!”

Me: “Then, clearly, you didn’t want a family!”

Mother: “What did you just say?!”

Me: “Your children aren’t items! You don’t get to decide how they live their lives, what they believe in, or who they love! If you want to dictate what sort of people they are and who they associate with, you don’t want a family. You want an inventory!

Mother: “You dare?!”

Me: “You’re d*** right, I dare! I’ve had to listen to you b**** about your children every time you’ve come in here, and you already make me sick! I can’t even imagine what sort of h***ish suffering you’ve inflicted on your children in whatever time you spent in the same household with them! If you’re going to scorn your daughter for even knowing about a belief other than your own, I’m done putting up with your bigotry!”

Mother: “I won’t let you—”

Girlfriend: “You don’t get to ‘let’ us do anything! I made myself put up with you when you would act nice toward us, but now I realize how stupid I was to even entertain your bigotry! We’re human beings, living our own lives, and you have no right to decide what we believe in or what kind of life we live! Now GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

That last statement had a force to it like I’d never heard out of her before, and [Mother] was left sputtering for a moment before she fled from the building. As the door closed, the adrenaline wore off, and we sat back down and hugged one another, recovering a bit from the aftershocks.

The make-light mood of the episode we were watching was not something we wanted to partake in after that encounter, so we turned the TV off, and my girlfriend spent the rest of the day teaching me about some of the Shinto gods. That was the last time her mother ever came by our place.

The Wig Woman Is Wigging Everyone Out

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: mstarrbrannigan | October 17, 2021

I work in a hotel. The other day, a girl stayed here, smoked in a nonsmoking room, and left a bunch of drug baggies in the toilet. Obviously, her card declined for the smoking fee because they always do.

She came by the next day, and the first thing I noticed about her was the terrible wig she was wearing. It was so bad it was distracting. It was like the Rachel haircut from “Friends,” but completely straight and black and purple.

But that’s not the point. She said she’d left a very expensive wig in her room. We didn’t find it, so she asked to check herself, she asked for them to go check again, and then she asked me to check. Eventually, I did, and there was no wig.

After that, we figured we were done with her because, after the condition she’d left her room in, she was on the do-not-rent list. Then, today as the head housekeeper was checking to see what rooms were done, she was surprised to find someone in a room that had been checked out of hours before. That someone was none other than the woman with the wig. She claimed to be there because her friends were staying at the hotel, though she didn’t say why she was occupying a vacant room.

For some reason, she was not smart enough to leave immediately when the head housekeeper found her, because she was still up there. The boss told her off and got her out of the room.

Back at the desk, he checked the cameras to see where she went after he kicked her out and saw her walk a couple of doors down the hall to another room. He went to kick her out of there, too. While he was on his way to the room, I watched on the camera as she went back to the first room he’d bounced her from — and apparently hadn’t completely closed the door of — and then go back to the new room.

I couldn’t hear them, but apparently, as he threw her out, she accused him of being the rudest person she’d ever met, as well as a pedophile. Then, she told him to go back to his country, so he’s now got three punches on his “Go Back To Your Country” card, which is fun. His country is New Jersey, by the way.

You Deserve To Feel Uncomfortable After That

, , , | Right | October 16, 2021

Customer: “Do you like jokes?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

He then proceeds to tell me an incredibly racist and misogynistic joke. I just stand there, staring him straight in the eyes.

Me: “That wasn’t even remotely funny.”

Customer: “Well, I guess you’re just a liar and don’t like jokes after all.”

I just stared at him with dead eyes until he became very uncomfortable and left.

A Caffeine Crashing Halt

, , , , , | Working | October 15, 2021

I’m the office administrator for a large company. Part of my job is keeping the coffee and snacks stocked for the employees. Almost every day, we get food delivered using a popular app. Sometimes, I offer a cup of coffee or a snack for the driver since they have to work around food they can’t eat. However, one particular delivery driver will help himself, stuffing his pockets and walking out before anyone can answer. I’ve brought it up to the office manager before and he simply shrugs it off; it’s not like we personally pay for the snacks, and we offer them to people anyway, so let him have some.

One day, I stop at a coffee chain before work to treat myself to a seasonal drink. While I am making copies outside my office, I see [Delivery Driver] go in, look around, and then take a sip of my coffee before carrying it back out toward the door.

I’ve had enough. I follow him to the door, grab the coffee from his hand, and throw it in the trash. I then go back to him and hold the door open.

Delivery Driver: “Why did you throw out my coffee?”

Me: “Get out, [Delivery Driver].”

Delivery Driver: “What?”

Me: “That was my coffee.”

Delivery Driver: *Laughing uncomfortably* “It’s just coffee.”

Me: “I’m tired of your inconsiderate behavior. Our snacks and drinks are not here for you; they are for [Company] employees. You want something, you ask first and wait for a response. If you don’t get a yes, you don’t touch it.”

Delivery Driver: “You’re really being a b**** over a cup of coffee? Wow, [My Name], if you’re that poor, I’ll give you money for it.”

Me: *Yelling* “Get out!”

My office manager came out to see why I was yelling. I told him what had happened and [Delivery Driver] denied everything, accusing me of being racist and trying to find a reason to get out of tipping him. The office manager sided with me and sternly told [Delivery Driver] to leave.

I left a negative review on the delivery app and contacted customer service. [Delivery Driver] hasn’t been around for a few weeks, so I don’t know what happened. I don’t wish for bad things to happen to most people, but I do hope he got fired.

Mothers Like This Are The Worst Breed

, , , , , , | Right | October 15, 2021

My mother has a notoriously aggressive dog. It’s small, but it’s prone to biting and my mom actively encourages it, making her growl and snap because she thinks it’s a funny party trick to show guests. She and the dog have been banned from most groomers. She asks me to carry the dog to a vet and groomer for her.

Me: “[Vet]? Are you sure? I thought she couldn’t go back there?”

Mom: “I called and they said they can take her.”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “What do you mean, why? She’s a good girl! The old groomer just didn’t know what she was doing! The new groomer said she’d take her!”

Me: “Okay.”

I go to the vet. They don’t do appointments so they don’t know I am coming.

Vet Tech: “Hi! What can I do for y’all today? What a cute puppy, my goodness!”

Me: “Yeah, she’s… she’s… I’m here for grooming.”

Vet Tech: “Okie dokie! What’s the name?”

Me: “[My Name.]”

Vet Tech: “Sorry, sweetie. I don’t have a file for you.”

Me: “Oh, my bad! It’ll be under [Mother].”

Vet Tech: “All righty! I…” *Stares at screen* “One second.”

She goes to the back and returns less than a minute later.

Vet Tech: “[Dog] is approved for vet visits only. You were informed of this.”

She is instantly very serious and no longer happy to see the “cute puppy.”

Me: “So… what do I do? My mom said she called, and you said it was okay?”

Vet Tech: “No. It’s not. You could go to a groomer she hasn’t seen before, because she won’t be barred from there.”

Me: *Drowning in embarrassment* “Okay… let me go call my mom, I guess.”

I step outside and call her. She’s pissed at me, as if it’s my fault. I get her to admit she never gave the vet tech her name or dog’s name over the phone and the vet tech only said that walk-ins for grooming were allowed in general, not that our dog’s ban got lifted.

She’s still mad. She tells me to wait outside for a few minutes and hangs up on me. Through the window, I see the vet tech answer the phone and have a many-minute-long conversation with hate on her face the whole time. When she’s done, she gives me a look like I killed her entire family and I get a text from my mom saying to try again.

Me: “Hi… Did… my mom call you?”

Vet Tech: *Visibly upset* “Yes. [Dog] can get a bath. A bath. Pick her up at three.” *Snatches the leash from me*

Me: “Okay… Be careful, she can be a little rude.”

She shot me a death glare. I cried the whole way home from the embarrassment. They ended up asking me to get her at one and only her back had been washed. I left a big tip with my mom’s credit card.