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That Lunch Cost More Than He Will Ever Realize

, , , | Right | May 23, 2022

I work in a restaurant. We have a rule that if you make a reservation, we will hold the table for a half-hour. If you don’t show up within that time, we give the table to someone else. We only have six tables that are easy to push together for large groups; the rest are booths or high-tops.

One day, I get a reservation for a large party around lunchtime. The guy is pretty nice on the phone. I don’t really remember how many people, but it is probably around eight or ten.

The time of the reservation comes and goes, and the man and his group don’t show up. Sometime later, and after my manager has told me to pull apart the tables and give them to someone else, the party arrives.

Now, it is lunchtime, but we aren’t too busy; we have a lot of high-tops available and could pretty easily put the group at one of those. I tell the guy that it will just be a minute as we have to wait for a table to be cleaned so we can put a few more together.

All of his niceness just goes away. Standing at the door, in front of his entire group of people, this “businessman” starts YELLING at me for not having his table set up.

Me: “Sir, we only reserve tables for a half-hour after the reservation time. Your reservation was forty-five minutes ago.”

Businessman: “Well, you should have called me to ask if I was still coming.”

Me: “No, sir. We don’t do that.”

Naturally, this makes him yell for the manager. My manager finally comes up and, of course, the guy calms down because it’s easier to yell at a twenty-one-year-old woman than an older man.

We manage to seat him, he makes a bunch of comments about hiring smarter workers, and I walk away.

I’ve always been pretty emotional, and I end up crying in the bathroom.

One of the women in the guy’s group comes into the bathroom, looks at me, and gives me a hug.

Woman: “I’m his client. The fact that he acted like that in front of a bunch of clients was despicable; he was unbelievably rude. I’m actually ashamed to be seen with him, and when I go back to the office, I’m going to tell his manager how he acted. We won’t be doing business with him anymore.”

I end up killing the guy with kindness when he leaves as I smile sweetly and say:

Me: “Have a great day, sir.”

The client winked at me as she left.

Nice Work Keeping Your Kid Safe!

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: eapentz | May 21, 2022

My friend and I have a high-end wallpaper business. I quit my job as a speech therapist to start this crazy endeavor with her. We hang wallpaper in the craziest houses in my city — NFL, NBA legends, those types of places. They have all been so nice and respectful. I mean, they hired me to do what only I can do. It’s the everyday people with a ton of money that seem to be the most entitled.

I’m hanging Phillip Jeffries wallpaper in a 9,900-square-foot place. I’m up on scaffolding, hanging a ceiling, while the customer’s kid runs around like a maniac. This isn’t ideal for either myself or the kid; I have blades in my hand that sometimes drop, as well as other materials that could injure him or make him sick if consumed. I’ve consistently mentioned this to the customer, but it falls on deaf ears.

I call my friend, the hanger that recruited me in the first place. She shows up immediately because she especially has no tolerance for this nonsense, and she acts as though she came to assist me.

Twenty minutes in:

Friend: “[Customer], your kid can’t continue running around like this; it’s endangering everyone.”

The customer just brushes it off. My friend tries again, and the customer blows her off again.

So, my friend gets down and starts packing her tools.

Friend: “I won’t continue working and endangering us and your child.”

Customer: “But I have $40,000 worth of wallpaper here!”

Friend: “You’d better start hanging, then.”

We left.

Was it a good job? Yes, but we are booked months out, so it won’t hurt us. Self-respect is more important than money ever will be.

Tempted To Literally Give Money To The Child To Make Them Stop

, , , , , | Right | May 20, 2022

I am a fellow customer in a big box store when the sound of a child shatters my peaceful shopping experience.

Child: *Loudly* “I want a game!”

Father: “Do you have any money?”

Child: “No!”

Silence.

Child: *Demanding* “Buy me a game!”

Father: “Do you have any money?”

Child: “No!”

Silence.

Child: *Yelling now* “BUY ME A GAME!”

Father: “Do you have any money?”

Child: “No! STOP SAYING THAT!”

Silence.

Child: “I WANT A GAME! BUY ME A GAME!”

Father: “Do you have any money?”

Child: “STOP SAYING THAT! I WANT A GAME!”

Now, repeat this scenario, at high volume, in a high-pitched, demanding scream… every few seconds.

You can well imagine how the store emptied of people, in that area as the two parents went about their shopping. Neither of them told the child “no” or told him to use his indoor voice. He was simply allowed to lather, rinse, and repeat for the entire time.

Multiple Mail Fails

, , , | Right | May 20, 2022

I used to work at a company that processed mail for other companies. Whenever a customer sent in a letter or form to one of those companies that were our clients, it was actually sent to our office. This included promotional mail which people returned for whatever reason.

Some of our clients did so much promotion through mailings that some potential customers made very clear how fed up they were with it. This included many swear words written on the envelopes, but it also sometimes included filling the envelopes with some weird stuff in the hopes of getting back at them, not realising that the effect would be limited to the people processing the mail, even if those had been working for the client company directly.

The most innocent examples were the ones attaching a brick or a piece of wood to the envelope, the idea being that the client company now had to pay the postage for that, as if that would really harm them.

Others went to more weird and disgusting measures. There were envelopes filled with nude pictures cut out from some cheap dirty magazines, envelopes that felt like an adult toy was stuffed in there, envelopes filled with itching powder, or envelopes filled with gravel. Why people thought this would really shock a big business is beyond me, but who cares.

The worst cases in the end weren’t even the envelopes filled with the indecent stuff or even actual garbage (like a package that felt like it just contained a pair of old shoes). The worst were the anthrax hoaxes some dissatisfied customers pulled off. It happened about three times during my time there. Every time, it turned out to be innocent, but not before some special experts from the police arrived to make this conclusion. Until that time, the room where it happened would have to be closed off.

In the end, it had resulted in a policy that every suspect envelope was to be thrown out without opening. Therefore, the attempts at revenge actually backfired since the return wouldn’t be processed. Given the frights or distress that they sometimes created, I can’t feel sorry for those people.

During those years, my wife and I visited a friend, and one of the “physical spammer” companies once was brought up in conversation.

Friend: “Well, if you want to make them stop, just send the envelope back with a brick attached to it.”

My Wife: “I used to think that too, until [My Name] had to stay locked in his office a few times due to anthrax hoaxes. It’s not funny at all.

Most People Try To Get The Theater Experience At Home, Not Vice-Versa

, , , | Right | May 20, 2022

I was at the movies not long ago. The person sitting next to me took off their shoes. Then, they pulled a pillow and blanket out of their bag. I thought that was it, but then, they pulled a chicken dinner out of that same bag.

At that point, stay home! You obviously would rather be in your living room!