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Show Of Hands: Who’s Shocked By This Guy’s Results?

, , , , , | Working | January 26, 2023

I work in a call center for a background screening company. My coworkers often ask to transfer calls to me because I can usually calm down the worst customers. Then, there’s this guy. It is shortly after my shift starts, so there are only a handful of us here as the others don’t start until later.

I get a call from a guy swearing up a storm. Ignoring that, I ask for his name so I can look him up and see where we are in the process. He just keeps swearing and screaming.

Me: “Sir, I will not tolerate that language. Either you calm down and tell me your name so I can see what’s going on with your screen, or I’m terminating the call.”

He keeps it up, so I hang up.

The guy calls back and I get him again. My call settings are such that I get more calls than others because I am fast and good at my job, averaging around 200 calls a day.

Guy: “The last f****** idiot I spoke to f****** hung up on me!”

Me: “Yes, sir, you spoke to me, and I advised you that if you didn’t stop swearing at me, I was terminating the call. Now, are you going to calm down and tell me your name, or am I terminating the call again?”

He starts dropping more F-bombs, so I terminate the call.

He calls again, rinse and repeat. The fourth time:

Me: “Sir, I want to help you, I really do, but you have to stop swearing and yelling, and you have to tell me your name so I can look you up in the system.”

Guy: “All right, all right. My name is [Guy].”

Me: “Okay, one moment while I call up your account.” *Does so* “Okay, could you please confirm for me [security questions]?”

Apparently, that is the wrong thing to ask because that sets him off again, but now, I have his account and can report him to management.

I hang up on him again, set my phone to “off”, and go to speak to my manager about him.

Manager: “Yeah, two other coworkers got him before you did the first time, and he upset them so much that they didn’t want to answer the phone in case he called back. If he calls again, send him directly to me.”

Then, my manager put out an urgent chat in Teams with all the customer service representatives telling them the same thing. He also flagged the guy’s account and let the prospective employer know how this guy was acting and treating the staff.

Had I been able to actually speak to him (if he answered the security questions), all I would have been able to tell him is that his report was incomplete and we were waiting for a response from two of his former employers. I would have asked if he could contact them and ask them to respond to us. Standard practice if we aren’t hearing back from the employers is to ask the applicant to reach out, because maybe there was a different person we should be sending our query to than what they originally gave us.

I could NOT tell him that he had failed his drug test and that our criminal search had found that he had two undisclosed misdemeanors. We weren’t allowed to tell customers anything negative about their accounts; we could only tell them if we were missing information we needed or that the reporting was complete. They could request a copy of their background screens free of charge.

I looked at the account a few days later; the employer marked him as not hired.

Their Dine And Dash Hopes Were Dashed, Part 3

, , , , , , , | Right | January 26, 2023

I am a bartender and server in a popular corporate bar and restaurant. A guy and his girlfriend are rude the entire time I serve them. Initially, they won’t make eye contact, and they interrupt my greeting them by ordering two margaritas.

They take up my table for two hours and order a ton of food, drinks, and dessert, all the while treating me like garbage — eye-rolling, scoffing, generally being aggressive, sending back an appetizer, etc. I drop off their check hoping they’ll f*** off as soon as possible, and I honestly don’t care if they tip; I certainly don’t expect them to.

I am bussing another table and go back to the kitchen, and I come back out to discover that they wrote “bad service” on the check, drew a penis on it, and then walked out without paying.

I discover this about three minutes after they exit the building. By this time, it’s twenty minutes to closing, I have no other tables…and to my absolute pleasure, that d****ebag has left his keys and cell phone in the booth.

I grab my manager, and we sit in the booth behind the one they’ve just left, knowing they’ll either call or have to come back in very shortly. Sure enough, they call. My manager answers and politely and enthusiastically tells them to come right in.

When they do, I sit there holding the keys and cell phone along with the unpaid check (and the penis on it) with a huge smile on my face, while my manager demands payment for their $129 tab.

Their Dine And Dash Hopes Were Dashed, Part 2
Their Dine And Dash Hopes Were Dashed

Two Too Much, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2023

This happened to a coworker and me a few weeks ago at our fast food job. I had finished my shift a while ago and had stayed to eat some food before I headed home. When I was ready to leave, I decided to go to the bathroom first. I got in, and almost immediately, someone else (who I found out later was my coworker) went into the only other stall.

The time between me finishing my food and me finishing up my “big business” was a grand total of three minutes.

Enter the entitled customer. She didn’t wait even a few seconds for a stall to become available. She tried my stall door and then the other when mine didn’t open.

Customer: “Hurry up, girls! Other people have to use the toilet, too!” *Bangs on the doors* “COME ON! HURRY THE F*** UP!”

Me: *Purposefully being loud with the toilet paper dispenser* “Ma’am, I’m almost done! I’ll be out in a minute!”


During her tirade, the other stall had become available, and I was exiting mine when I saw she was getting up in [Coworker]’s face. [Coworker] was just trying to wash her hands and get out of there.

Customer: “You girls took way too long!”

Coworker: “Sorry, ma’am. The stall is available now, though, so please stop yelling at us.”


Coworker: “It’s not like this is the only bathroom around…”

Customer: “And where are these other bathrooms? I only see two stalls!”

Coworker: *Calmly* “If you had to go desperately, the men’s room has a stall and toilet, or there’s a public restroom at the gas station right next door.”

Customer: “I am a woman, and I am eating here, so I will use this restroom! You f****** methheads should not have been in there so long while I was waiting!”

Me: “Lady, I had been in there at most two minutes before you came in and she—” *points to my coworker* “—came in after me! If you have to go so bad, why don’t you go use one of the two stalls that are now available instead of wrongfully accusing us of taking drugs?”

My coworker and I leave and I go report what happened to our female manager.

Me: *Voice cracking from anxiety* “I just wanted to let you know, [Coworker] and I were just in the bathroom, and this lady came in, and apparently, we took too long so she accused us of taking drugs. [Coworker] told her where more bathrooms were, and I told her we had gotten in there right before she did, but she didn’t like that, so I think she’s gonna come out yelling.”

Sure enough, the moment I get done saying that, the customer comes out holding up two fingers.


My very petite but feisty manager speaks up.

Manager: “Excuse me?! I didn’t realize there was a specific time limit on how long someone was allowed to be in a public bathroom! You’re being ridiculous!”

Customer: “They were in there for more than the two minutes it should have taken them! They must have been doing drugs and that is unacceptable!”

Manager: “No! What is unacceptable is accusing my employees of taking drugs just because they didn’t conform to your stupid bathroom beliefs! Please leave!”


My manager tugs at her shirt, which is obviously very different than mine.

Manager: “You see this shirt?! I am a manager, and I’ve asked you to leave! Now get out!

Customer: “WELL, YOU’RE FAT AND UGLY!” *Storms out*

I’m really glad that our managers look out for us and have our backs against crazy people like that!

Two Too Much, Part 2
Two Too Much

At Least He Reads Books?

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2023

An elderly gentleman came into our store. He could barely walk with his cane, and his legs trembled so much that two employees converged behind him in order to catch them in case he keeled over backward. I knew at a glance that he was not able to follow me to any book section, even if I walked slowly and offered my arm to hang onto.

Either he didn’t have loved ones to pick it up for him, or else he was determined to hang on to that last thread of independence left to him, regardless of the pain and exhaustion.

Thankfully, everything aligned perfectly. He knew the title and the author of the book he wanted, AND we had it in stock. One coworker appeared out of the café with a chair as soon as the elderly gentleman tottered his way to the information desk. As the grateful elderly gentleman sat down, I went on my mission to look for and retrieve the book he wanted.

I had the information written on a piece of scrap paper and I was heading to the section when a rude regular stepped directly into my path, bodily blocking my progress.

The rude regular was a fit-looking man and could even be called handsome, but everyone hated him. This was a guy who was a complete and utter jerk to female employees because he viewed women as “the weaker gender.” This was not a secret or even an assumption; he had openly said those words, along with a number of opinions about a “woman’s place” (don’t ask where that place is, as it is too vulgar to share here) and used his height and build to intimidate female customers and employees alike. 

Management had been spineless as far as banning him, though they had begrudgingly “allowed” us to refuse him service, mostly because the female staff told them that by law they were allowed to and management feared the tangle that would happen if they tried to prevent it.

Rude Regular: “I’m looking for [Book].”

Me: “It’s in the Psychology section, which is right over there.” *Gestures*

Rude Regular: *Raising his voice a little bit* “Aren’t you going to help me find it?”

Me: “I’m actually helping another customer at the moment, but I’ll be happy to help you as soon as I’ve finished with him.”

I tried to walk around him and he sidestepped to block my path again, his voice dropping to a threatening growl.

Rude Regular: “Maybe you didn’t hear me. I need help finding [Book].”

Me: “Maybe you didn’t hear me, sir. I’m helping that gentleman over there.”

I gestured to the elderly man, who was slightly slumped over his cane in the chair but still managed to carry on a friendly and animated conversation with a male supervisor.

Me: “If, however, you are in a rush, the information desk is about ten feet behind me and you can get some help there.”

The rude regular looked at the elderly gentleman, sized him up, sniffed disdainfully, and planted himself squarely in front of me.

Rude Regular: “I’m not interested in walking that far. I’m talking to you, and I expect to get the service that I deserve.”

I gave him my most oily, nasty smile.

Me: “Certainly, sir. I will give you the service you so richly deserve.”

Rude Regular: *Relaxed, with a superior, smug sneer* “That’s better.”

And with that, I darted around him before he could react and went straight to the section. The rude regular stood there with an expression of profound shock on his face.

I retrieved the best-looking copy of the book I was searching for and carried it back to the elderly gentleman, refusing to even glance in the rude regular’s direction.

That was the right book, and he was very happy to have it. It was at the time of day when there was no line at the registers, so he was rung up right away. He politely declined further assistance and tottered out the door.

Of course, the rude regular wouldn’t let it go, and he chose, of all people, the male supervisor to complain to. [Supervisor] flicked me a reassuring glance and then turned an expressionless, dead-inside expression to the rude regular.

Supervisor: “While, yes, I agree that it is our job to assist customers, [My Name] was currently helping someone. If you really felt that you needed help finding a book, you should have asked someone who was not already busy.”

The rude regular flinched but continued to bluster.

Rude Regular: “But… but she was rude to me! She needs to be taught some manners! I demand that you reprimand her right now!”

Supervisor: “I heard her. She was polite the first two times that you rudely demanded assistance, after which, apparently, she simply decided to exercise her right to refuse service to you and continue doing her job.”

Rude Regular: “She doesn’t have the right to refuse me service! Her job is to serve me!”

Supervisor: *Putting on his most intimidating FBI stare* “Actually, she does have that right, and I will advise you to stop harassing employees.”

Rude Regular: *Squirming a bit* “If she doesn’t want to be harassed, then she should do what she is told! Come on, you’re a man! You should know how women these days—”

Supervisor: “Don’t you even pull me into your trash club. You need to leave before I call the police and have you removed.”

He whined and then left.

Supervisor: *To me*Good lord, I wish I had the authority to ban that jacka**.”

After that, I would occasionally see the rude regular slinking around from time to time until I left the store. Management still refused to ban him, but after being taken down a peg by a fellow man, he went from openly being a slime bag to just a sulky mumbler, so it WAS a bit of an improvement.

Ah, Shoot, Ya Just Missed Him

, , , , , , | Working | January 24, 2023

One of my coworkers comes into work drunk. This is grounds for immediate dismissal, so he is promptly fired. [Coworker] usually walks to work, but the manager has me walk him out just to make sure he didn’t come in a car.

On our way out, a customer approaches us and addresses [Coworker].

Customer: “Hey, you! Take me to your [items].”

Coworker: *Pauses* “I don’t think I can. I’m pretty drunk.”

Customer: “What?! They let you drink on the job?!”

Coworker: “Nope! I was fired, like, two minutes ago.”

Customer: “Um… okay.”

He went off to find someone else to help him, leaving [Coworker] and me laughing on the way out.