Hot Dog Means Sick Dog

, , , , , | Related | August 7, 2018

(My mother-in-law rules her roost, which is fine. Her house, her rules. However, she rarely listens to the rules set in other households, as she believes she knows best. My husband has invited his family over for a BBQ. My dog has a very sensitive stomach and is on prescription food to avoid any digestive issues.)

Mother-In-Law: “Where is [Dog]?”

Me: “Inside.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, bring her outside.”

Me: “She begs for scraps and then gets sick.”

Mother-In-Law: “But she’s probably hungry, smelling all this food.”

Me: “She has food and water right now. She doesn’t get people food because it encourages begging and, as I just said, she always gets sick.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, one little burger won’t hurt.”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it will. Please leave her alone.”

Mother-In-Law: *rolls her eyes but says nothing*

(Not long after this exchange, I see my dog wandering the yard, trying to snitch food from abandoned plates.)

Me: “How did [Dog] get out?”

Mother-In-Law: “She was hungry!”

Me: “I gave her food!”

Mother-In-Law: “Well, she obviously didn’t like it. Look: she wants hot dogs!”

(She tosses a fully loaded hot dog to my dog, who scarfs it down and comes over for more.)

Me: “[Mother-In-Law], I’m serious. Do not feed [Dog], or you will not be welcome back here for a long time.”

Mother-In-Law: “Don’t talk to me like that! [My Husband], is your wife always so disrespectful?”

Me: “Respect my rules and I’ll respect you.”

Mother-In-Law: “You’ll respect me because I am your mother-in-law.”

Me: “Do not feed my dog.”

Mother-In-Law: “She’s starving!”

Husband: “She is not, Mom. We don’t want her having people food. She has a sensitive stomach. You know this.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, it’s fine. Don’t be so uptight.”

(I took my dog back inside… where she threw up. Luckily, it wasn’t on the carpet so it was easy enough to clean up. I told my mother-in-law that she should clean it up, as she was the one who fed the dog. She refused and insisted it was something I did. She has not been invited to any other functions at our house since, and she’s quite snippy with me when we do see each other.)

Try This New IPA! Tastes Like The Holocaust!

, , , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

Me: “Hello, sir, may I see your ID?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “I’m supposed to get ID when someone buys beer.”

(The customer just continues to stare at me, as if expecting more of an explanation.)

Me: “It’s the law.”

Customer: “So, you just do whatever the government tells you to do?”

(I’m not really sure how to respond, so I just remain silent. The customer suddenly becomes obscenely angry.)

Customer: “Honestly, you’re no better than those Nazis throwing Jews in the oven!”

(He rattles off some more nonsense about how I’m a Nazi for daring to ask for his ID, and then some switch in his brain goes from crazy to horny.)

Customer: “But you’re pretty cute, so I guess I can show you just this once.”

That’s The Tall And Short Of It

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I’m a customer in this one, although thankfully not the offender. On my way home from my job, I sometimes like to stop in a convenience store to satisfy my gigantic sweet tooth with the excellent chocolate they sell there. One evening is very busy, and unfortunately the line for their register is horrendously long. I’m standing at the back of the line, when a middle-aged mom rather rudely cuts the line in front of a taller woman.)

Taller Customer: “Excuse me! That was very rude!”

(The cutter doesn’t acknowledge her complaints. The taller one huffs indignantly and raises her voice.)

Taller Customer: “Ex-cuse me! You cut the line! I demand my spot back!”

Shorter Customer: “Leave me alone, you nosy c***!”

(The taller woman is aghast at this, and she immediately starts shrieking at the top of her lungs to all and sundry.)

Taller Customer: “THIS B**** CUT THE LINE, AND NOW SHE’S SWEARING AT ME! MANAGER! I DEMAND TO SEE THE MANAGER!”

(The shorter woman begins screaming at the tall woman just as loudly in Spanish, of which only an obscenity is recognizable. One of the store employees walks over to try to break them up and calm them down.)

Employee: “Please, can we both calm down here? What’s going on?”

Taller Customer: “THIS F****** BORDER-JUMPER CUT THE LINE, AND NOW SHE’S SCREAMING AT ME! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! I DEMAND YOU REMOVE HER AT ONCE!”

Shorter Customer: “F*** YOU! I HAVE TWO KIDS, AND I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE TO CATCH A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT!”

Taller Customer: “THAT’S NO F****** EXCUSE!”

(The poor employee is vainly trying to talk over them to get them to shut up. They’ve completely blocked up the line.)

Employee: “Please, could the two of you step out of the line so we can work this—”

(The tall customer rounds on him.)

Taller Customer: “YOU’RE TAKING THIS B****’S SIDE? I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! WHERE’S YOUR MANAGER? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Employee: “Listen, ma’am, I honestly don’t know what happened, but you’re blocking the line and we need you to step out so we can work this out.”

Taller Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU’RE JUST REWARDING HER BAD BEHAVIOR!”

Employee: “Ma’am, if y—”

Taller Customer: “I SHOP HERE EVERY WEEK! I’M YOUR BEST CUSTOMER! WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING YOUR BEST CUSTOMER?”

(The short woman has had enough, and drags her two kids out behind her.)

Employee: “Ma’am, could you please calm—”

Taller Customer: “H*** NO, I WON’T CALM DOWN! YOU’VE JUST LOST YOUR BEST CUSTOMER! I’M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME? NEVER AGAIN!”

(With that, she FINALLY stomped out in a huff, leaving the poor employee utterly bewildered and a line of people finally moving again.)


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They Rostered Their Own Last Days

, , , , , , , | Working | August 6, 2018

(I have a coworker and manager who for some reason don’t like me. They’ve tried to get me fired by not doing their duties and blaming me, or getting friends to make complaints against me, etc. All their attempts been disproven. Our roster is posted a month in advance and emailed to all staff. Three months prior, I applied for and was granted ten days off for my brother’s wedding and a family holiday in another state. Two days before I leave I overhear this on my way to my lunch break:)

Coworker: “[Friend who had made a bogus complaint against me] has an extra ticket for [four-day Music Festival]. I really want to go but it’s too late to get time off.”

Manager: “Get someone to swap you.”

Coworker: “Only [My Name] could do it. She has ten days in a row off.”

Manager: “What? [My Name] has no life. Ask her; if she says no, I’ll just change the roster, anyway.”

(I quickly clock out and take a photo of the posted roster with the time and date showing. Another coworker who also heard the conversation assures me that they will back me up and tells me to enjoy my holiday. After my break, [Coworker] comes up to me.)

Coworker: “You need to work [four days in the middle of my holiday]. I’ll swap shifts, but we’ll work it out later.”

(She then goes to walk off.)

Me: “[Coworker], I can’t. I’m away for ten days starting the tenth.”

Coworker: *with a smirk* “Too bad. [Manager] already said you have to swap.”

Me: “Sorry, but [Store Manager] already approved my leave three months ago. I’ll be in Perth, then. Find someone else.”

Coworker: “You’ll be sorry.”

(She storms off in a huff. But I hear nothing from either of them. I have the next day off and don’t work my last shift with either, but knowing [Manager] is working the shift after, I check the roster to see it hasn’t changed. I take another photo just in case. While I’m away, I receive six messages from the manager and store manager saying that I’m in trouble for not turning up for my scheduled shifts, which I ignore. On my first day back at work, I’m called into the office with the store manager.)

Store Manager: “[My Name], I’m really surprised. You’re not usually someone to just not turn up for your shifts. I wanted to give you a chance to explain.”

Me: “I had ten days off to go to Perth. You approved it, and even gave me advice on things to do as you used to live there.”

Store Manager: “Oh. Yes, I remember that, but as you’re down on the roster I figured you had changed your mind about going.”

Me: “Definitely not, and when I had my last shift, I wasn’t on the roster until today. I have photos to prove it.”

(I showed her the photos, and suggested having a look at the roster and checking when it was changed in the system. Sure enough, I had been swapped with [Coworker] after my last shift, when [Manager] was the only one with access to change it. With that, the photos, my other coworker’s statement about the conversation, and the previous problems, [Coworker] and [Manager] were both fired.)


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Riding This Complaint Train

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

(I work at the one of the two kids’ areas at a theme park. The one I work at closes at 8:00 pm, and the other is open until the park closes. I don’t have people in my line or on my ride for the last ten minutes we are open, so I have all the “cars” buckled up and ready for closing. When I look at my watch, it is 8:01, so I finish closing by pressing the end of the day e-stop, which disconnects all power to the ride. I can’t start it again if even if I want to, because only managers have the keys for it. It is currently 8:06, and I am about to take the height stick and leave the ride.)

Customer: “C’mon, kids, let’s ride [Ride] before we leave!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are no longer open and I am no longer able to run [Ride].”

Customer: “But my kids always ride all the rides when we come here, and I was waiting around the ride for five minutes waiting for my kids. We have season passes and they love these rides!”

Me: *thinking* “If you have season passes, then you can obviously come back another day.” *what I actually say* “Again, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but the end of the day e-stop has been depressed, and I can no longer run the ride even if I wanted to. If your kids were in line before eight I would have been happy to, but no one was in line and I have closed the ride up for the night.”

Customer: “Why is it pressed? [Park] is open until ten, right?”

Me: “Yes, but [Area] closes at eight. It is now 8:10.”

Customer: “Oh, well, it won’t take long to run the ride, just UN-depress the e-stop.”

Me: “I can’t. I do not have the key to do that.”

Customer: “I cannot believe this. I want to know your name right now! I will be leaving a complaint and getting you fired!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. I am doing my job as I have been trained to do. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I cannot run the ride.”

Customer: “But she—” *points to coworker running another ride* “—was running her ride at eight!”

Me: “Yes, but she also had guests in line at eight and I didn’t; therefore, I shut down the ride after eight. I do not have the key to run this ride anymore, but [Other Kid Area] is still open, and they have plenty of rides that I’m sure your kids will love.”

Customer: “They have already been there and ridden those rides today.”

(I see my supervisor walking by.)

Me: “There’s my supervisor now.”

(I call him over and explain the situation.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, she is doing her job and the ride is shut down.”

Customer: “Well, if you didn’t have only three people on these rides back here, we would have made it in time!”

Supervisor: “We only have three back here because it’s been a slow day and had some people call out today. But since we only had three, I’ll make an exception and unlock the ride. But, just so you know, she was doing her job exactly right and shouldn’t run the ride unless you were already in line, which you weren’t.”

(The customer smirks while I look at my supervisor in disbelief. While I’m letting the kids off the ride after it has been run, the woman says:)

Customer: “See? If you just ran it to start with, we would be gone and you would be going home.” *walks away*

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