The Earth Can Do Without These Grumpy Bags

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(Our bagless grocery chain recently had a promotion for Earth Day where corporate sent out coupons to be redeemed for one reusable bag. Since the bags cost the company money, the management didn’t want us handing them out without the redemption. However, since many customers were confused about the promotion and things got bungled with the coupon scanning, the cashiers ended up scanning a backup UPC for inventory purposes, offering a free bag as an option to anyone checking out with several items and only “making it rain” when we ran out of complimentary cardboard boxes. I am checking out a woman with a single item, skipping the spiel since there is a rush and it doesn’t seem necessary:)

Me: “And here is your receipt, have a nice day!”

Customer #1: *loudly and angrily* “AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A BAG?!”

Me: “Uh… Sure, you can have a bag if you’d like one.”

Customer #1: “Well, you’re supposed to give me a free bag for Earth Day, aren’t you?!”

Me: *not wanting to hold up the line arguing over a 99-cent bag* “Sure, here you go. Have a nice day.”

(The woman glares at me and walks away. A younger woman comes up behind her in line, checking out two desserts, one marked down for quick sale.)

Customer #2: “Why are you ringing these up as different prices?”

Me: “They are different prices. One is at the regular sale price and one is reduced for quick sale.”

Customer #2: “But they’re exactly the same; why are they different prices?”

Me: “One is discounted for quick sale because it’s close to expiring, but the other one is dated to expire in mid-July.”

Customer #2: “That doesn’t even make sense. One shouldn’t be ringing up as more than the other when they’re exactly the same thing! Your system is whacked.”

Me: “It’s not the system; I’m manually reducing the price based on what it says on the sticker.”

Customer #2: “Well, can’t you just fix it on your computer so they’re not ringing up randomly?”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s not a mistake. One is discounted; the other one is regular price.”

Customer #2: *rolling her eyes* “Fine, then give me whichever one’s cheaper.”

Me: *handing her the single dessert* “All right, here you go.”

Customer #2: “I want a bag, too.”

(I give her the bag just to be rid of her, and continue ringing up customers.)

Customer #1: *storming back up and throwing another dessert on the register, with [Customer #2] following* “There were other discounted ones back there, you know.”

Me: “I’m not aware of what’s on the shelf; I just rang up the items she brought up.”

Customer #1: “You should know. You seem to have a real attitude problem. You could have let her get one, and we shouldn’t even have to ask for bags!”

Me: *ringing the item up and holding it out to her* “She can have it now. All that’s necessary is to bring what you want up to the register, and I’ll be happy to ring it up at the marked price.”

(Both stand there staring at me, each with their free bag with a single item inside.)

Customer #1: “Well, where’s the bag?!”

Me: “Don’t you… already have bags?”

Customer #1: “UH, HELLO?! You’re giving out free bags with each purchase for Earth Day?! We just bought something, so aren’t you supposed to give us another bag?”

Me: “Well, technically, it’s supposed to be one bag per coupon.” *reaching under the register and pulling out a coupon as an example*

Customer #1: *sputtering* “Well, you didn’t ask for a coupon when you gave us these bags!”

Me: *smiling* “No, I didn’t. I gave them to you, anyway, because you asked so nicely. But if you really need another free bag, you can have one.”

Customer #1: *snatching the bag and saying sarcastically* “Thanks a lot!”

Me: “You’re very welcome! Have a wonderful evening and enjoy your desserts!”

(They gave me dirty looks over their shoulders as they left.)

A Blood Alcohol Level That Does Not Compute

, , , , , , , | Learning | February 12, 2019

When I am in high school we have regular “IT” classes. These are ridiculous classes on basic computing skills. Given that it is the mid-2000s and everyone has a PC at home, there is literally nothing to be learned here. We are given floppy disks to store work on.

Most of our teachers struggle to teach anything, but we have one teacher that decides it’s not a battle worth fighting. He spends the first few weeks trying to explain how to use a keyboard or mouse, how to save word documents, etc., before giving it up and just sitting there like a child repeating over and over, “Do whatever you want; I still get paid.”

This probably would have been fine. What isn’t fine is about three months into the school year he figures he’s never taught anything worthwhile at all, so he gets drunk one morning and then sits at his desk drinking “water” most of the day. Eventually, one student decides that mucking around on the Internet is boring and throws a chair across the room. This is so much fun that another one does the same, except this time it goes through the door. The teacher is so drunk at this point he doesn’t even notice, but a nearby deputy head teacher does, comes to investigate, and finds a class in chaos and a teacher who can barely sit up given how drunk he is.

The end result is that the teacher is fired that second and has to be removed from the school by police because he is too drunk to stand and has put children in danger with his actions.

Not long after this, a group of students from several years get together and approach the head teacher complaining that IT lessons are a waste of time and don’t cover anything remotely worthwhile. The following year, the IT department is refreshed with new equipment and staff. Lessons are designed to focus much more on actual practical things such as the basics of programming. While I do feel bad that the teachers were forced to teach lessons that were useless in the face of a generation that had been using computers for years, that was no excuse to get completely drunk on the job.

Need To Check And Save That Dog!

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(After a busy day at work, I’m excited that I’m at my last hour. I have to start closing half an hour before I leave. An elderly woman is sitting in the lobby, and when asked, she tells me she wants to open a safe deposit box, as well as transfer money from her checking to her savings. This sounds so simple, I figure I have more than enough time, and ask her to step into the office. She tells me she’d like to speed things up because she has her dog in the car. It’s April in Houston; although not as hot as summer, it is still pretty bad inside of a car. I say that’s fine, but I ask if the dog has the windows down. She says yes, so on we go.)

Customer: *hands over $5,000 check* “I need $2,000 for me, and the rest in my savings.”

(I realize she wants me to cash the check, give her $2,000 cash, and put the rest in her account, so I clarify.)

Customer: “No. I want $2,000 for me and the rest in my account.”

Me: “Okay, so, you want me to cash the check, give you $2,000 and deposit the rest into your account?”

Customer: “No, I want the rest in checking.”

Me: “All right, let’s get this straight. You want me to cash the check. Deposit $2,000 in your savings account, and put the rest in your checking account?”

Customer: “I want $2,000 for my savings box. The rest in my checking.”

(Figuring out that she means her safe deposit box, I tell her that she should cash the check, deposit what she needs into her checking and turn the $2,000 into a cashier’s check, since it’s safer. What she does with the check is her business. She says yes, so I tell her it will take me a few minutes while I go to the teller line and do that for her. I come out after about ten minutes since it is a busy day. The customer is standing by the door. I tell her I have the check and I’m ready to get started on opening the safe deposit box account for her.)

Customer: *almost screaming* “I said I wanted $2,000 in my checking and the rest in my savings!”

(I may have misheard her or just got confused with the whole ordeal from earlier, so I apologize and let her know I’ll fix it and I’ll be right back. She says she will be outside with her dog. I fix the error within two minutes and set to open her safe deposit box account. I don’t call her in so she won’t leave her dog in the heat, and I don’t need her at this step, anyway, since it’s just a matter of printing the papers and getting the keys. I’m hitting the print button when the woman walks directly to the assistant manager and asks to speak to the manager. The assistant manager asks how she can help her.)

Customer: “This woman doesn’t know what she’s doing. She could’ve just told me. My dog is sitting outside, and she made an error.”

(The manager looks at me and I step out of the office to let the woman know that the error is fixed and I’m at the point where I just need her to sign. Finally, the customer agrees to go inside so she can sign her paperwork.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you didn’t know what you were doing. You should’ve just told me.”

Me: “I’m sorry; it was a misunderstanding.”

Customer: “Well, you should’ve just told me you didn’t know what you were doing.”

(About twenty minutes have gone by. I’m ready to close down and I don’t like being told I don’t know what I’m doing when she clearly had her stake in it.)

Me: “I made an error. I apologize. It means I’m human.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

Me: “If I didn’t make errors, I wouldn’t be working here. I would be working somewhere else, making a lot more money.”

(The customer hmphs and signs. She walks out of the office after I explain the details and hand over the keys.)

Me: “Do you need me to let you into your box?”

Customer: “No, I have my dog in the car.” *walks out*

(I notice she left the check behind.)

Me: *rushing to the door* “Ma’am, you forgot your check.”

Customer: “No. I need you to put it in my savings.”

(Now I’m confused, but I assume she means her safe deposit box since she has signed the paperwork and taken the keys.)

Me: “I can’t put it in your safe deposit box; I’m not allowed to know what’s in it and I can’t go in there for you.”

Customer: “The other bank took my box down for me and helped me.”

Me: “I can let you in and help you carry the box, but I can’t go in there for you since you have the keys. We do not hold a set of keys here, and we are also not allowed to know what’s in a box.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous; I have my car switched on for the dog.”

Me: “My coworker here will keep an eye on your car; I’ll let you into the room and you can put the check in.”

(Grudgingly, she agreed. At this point, the manager was next to me and we both went into the vault room with the customer. To my disgrace, the box I originally wanted to assign to her didn’t work, so the one I picked in a rush was at the very top, needing a step ladder. I climbed up the ladder, opened the box, had her and the manager verify the check was being put in, since she insisted I didn’t want her accusing me of a missing check later, and closed the box. By the time this was over, it was past my time to leave, I had a blaring headache, and the poor dog had sat in the car for about an hour.)

Put It Back Versus Knock It Back

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(I recently started working at a gas station. We were told to ID anyone who looks under 50 because the store recently had a problem with selling to minors. I’m working the register when a guy comes up with a single beer.)

Me: “Hey there! Can I get you anything else today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Can I see your ID for the beer, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it on me.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I can’t sell to you unless you have your ID.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’ll go put it back.”

(I’m thinking, “Whew, that went better than I thought it would,” and I continue waiting on customers. A few minutes later the guy comes back up with an empty can and tries to hand me money.)

Customer: “I drank this, and here is my money for it.”

Me: “What the…”

(He took the beer into our bathroom and drank the entire thing. I call my boss up to the store to see how she would like to handle this. She takes his money and he leaves the store.)

Me: “I’m pretty sure he drank that in the bathroom.”

Boss: “And that is why when we deny a sale we put the beer behind the counter.”

(We both had a great laugh about it, and I no longer let a customer “put it back.”)

We Support Breastfeeding… To A Degree

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2019

(I work at a well-known pet store; I handle the phone calls and help customers find things they need. I receive a call from a customer who at first doesn’t know how to find us. I have to try to guide him through the phone, yet he refuses to give me details of his current location.)

Me: “Okay, sir, what street are you currently on?”

Customer: “I don’t know!”

Me: “Look for a sign indicating what street you are on, and I can give you directions from there.”

(After a couple of minutes he finally finds a street sign. I am then able to give him directions. At this point, I think our phone conversation will be over, but he then asks me a question.)

Customer: “Do you guys sell puppy food?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir! We have tons of different brands with puppy formula.”

Customer: “Perfect. I’ve been driving around all day to find a puppy formula!”

Me: *mentally* “How hard is it to find puppy food?”

(About ten minutes later an older gentlemen approaches me, asking where the puppy food is.)

Me: “Did you just call our store?”

Customer: “Yes, I did.”

Me: “Great! I was the one who spoke with you!”

Customer: *looking annoyed* “Can you just take me to the food?”

Me: “Yes, right this way.”

(I proceed to show him the different puppy foods we carry. Suddenly, he throws his hands up in the air and starts yelling.)

Customer: “I said I needed puppy formula; this isn’t puppy formula!”

(I point at the bags and show him that they each say, “Puppy Formula.”)

Customer: “No, like puppy formula for dogs who are nursing! My dog is already dried out!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, that there has been a misunderstanding, but I’m afraid we do not sell puppy formula for nursing dogs here.”

Customer: “I specified on the phone that they were only seven weeks old!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t ever remember you specifying that they were only seven weeks old.”

Customer: “Besides that, puppies can’t have kibble until they are at least two years old!”

Me: “Sir, have you ever had dogs before or bred dogs before?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Then let me just say that dogs don’t have to wait until they are two years old to eat solid food; they can start eating solid food as soon as four weeks. Who told you dogs couldn’t eat solid food until they were two years old?”

Customer: “I Googled it.”

Me: “So, you’ve been giving these dogs nothing but milk for seven weeks?! Through the mother?!”

Customer: “Yes, she’s been breastfeeding them for seven weeks, and now she’s dry; I need formula! Also, do you have a cream? Her nipples are bleeding.”

(Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have pets.)

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