When Jobs Are Looking For You

, , , | Friendly | July 6, 2017

(I have a job interview in a town about 200 miles from home. Because my interview is early in the morning, the night before I stay in a hotel much closer to the school. As I am walking out of the hotel lobby after checking out, another man walks past me into the lobby. When I get out to my car, I hear a tap on my window. The same man is standing there, so I roll down my window in case I had forgotten something inside or anything.)

Man: *friendly and smiling* “Hey, are you looking for a job?”

Me: “Kind of, but I’m really only looking for teaching jobs right now.”

Man: “Well, my company is always hiring, so if you want my business card, you can give me a call and we can set something up.”

Me: “What kind of work is it?”

Man: “Supplemental insurance sales.”

Me: *handing his business card back to him* “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

(At this point, the man starts to turn aggressive, leaning into the window and practically shouting in my ear.)

Man: “What, you think you’re too good to sell insurance? Or are you just so d*** stupid that the only job you can find is at a hotel?”

Me: “Like I said, I’m looking for a TEACHING job, so I’m not really interested in anything else right now, unless it has something to do with working in schools or working with kids.”

Man: *reaching past me and pointing at the piece of paper on the passenger seat* “Then why did you pick up an application in there?”

Me: “That’s my RECEIPT.”

Man: *actually grabbing my tie* “Okay, but who the f*** wears a suit and tie into a hotel lobby this early in the morning unless they’re looking for a job?”

Me: *shoving the guy back out of my car* “I was CHECKING OUT, and I have a job interview at a school in half an hour.”

(I drove off at that point, but watched the guy in my rear-view mirror as he got in his pick-up truck and raced to catch up to me. I got my phone ready in case he still had road rage, but he ended up turning the other direction out of the parking lot and speeding away. I was still pretty shaken up when I got to the school for my interview, and had to take some extra time fussing over my clothes in the parking lot just so I could calm down before I walked inside. On the plus side, I still ended up giving a good enough interview that I was offered the job!)

The Fingers Aren’t The Only Things That Snapped

, , , , , | Working | July 2, 2017

(Recently I gave the worst customer service I’ve ever given. Deliberately. I’m the Dairy Manager in a grocery store. I did work in dry grocery for around three years, and normally if a customer asks me a question about another department, I try to help them, or find someone that can. After stocking yogurt and sour cream, I’m heading into the back room with my empty cart when I hear a whistle. Not thinking anything of it, I keep walking. I hear the whistle again, followed by “HEY!” I turn around, and a customer is whistling at me like I’m a DOG and snapping his fingers at me.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “What’s the price on these hams?”

Me: “I have no idea. I’m the Dairy Manager.”

(Turned on my heel, went into the back room, ran into my boss, and told him what I’d done. He laughed. Cool boss.)

When Someone Is A Complete D*ck It’s Breast To Ignore Them

, , , , , | Friendly | July 2, 2017

(I have a summer pass to a nearby public pool, and I go pretty often. During mid-June, I notice there is a woman and her baby who are there regularly. We don’t really talk, but I do make a few comments on how adorable her little girl is. The baby couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old. I saw her breastfeeding the baby a few times, but no one ever commented until one day in early July. Her baby starts crying, so the mother begins breastfeeding her. A man goes up to her, and just watches for a few seconds, then speaks to her.)

Man: “That is so disgusting. I can’t believe you’re doing that in public.”

Mother: “I’m just feeding my child.”

Man: “Well, at least don’t pull out your f****** t*ts in public! There are children here!”

Mother: “I’m not exposing anything, and I must feed my child. Please just mind your own bus—”

Man: *interrupting her* “I can see almost your entire t*t, you wh**e. So, if you can just whip out your t*t in public to feed that thing, does that mean I can whip out my d*** in public and—”

Me: *interrupting him, and VERY loudly* “YOU FEED SEMEN TO YOUR INFANT CHILDREN?!”

(Many people heard me, and almost all of them turned to look.)

Man: “What?! No. I would ne— I– I’ve never done— I wouldn’t do that.”

(He then scurried away, looking quite embarrassed.)

Wish You Could “Go-Back” On Your Roommate Choice

, , , , | Friendly | June 30, 2017

(Both my roommate and I have worked retail for years. We are at a big box store shopping for a few things. We’ve been talking about terrible customers the whole trip.)

Roommate: “Oh. Wait. Why did I grab all of these lip balms? I don’t need more lip balm.”

(She then proceeds to cram the six or so lip balms onto a shelf with some mugs, since we are in the dishware section.)

Me: *aghast* “[Roommate], what are you doing!?”

Roommate: “I don’t remember where they’re supposed to go. Someone will put them back later.”

Me: “Are you KIDDING?! You are doing exactly what our terrible customers do! You need to put those back where they belong or take them up front with you!”

Roommate: *flippantly* “Don’t be silly. I’m not being mean about it. It’s their job to clean this stuff up.”

(I grabbed the lip balms and put them into my bag. When we checked out, I asked the cashier to place them among their “go-backs,” which are a pile of unwanted or returned items they keep up front that employees work through putting back as the day goes on. On the ride home, my roommate makes fun of me for “being a weirdo” and “giving that cashier more work to do.” She simply didn’t understand why I was so shocked. We didn’t remain friends after I moved out.)

Sim-ply Instigating

, , , , , | Friendly | June 29, 2017

(I’m at my friends’ place. One of them tends to be a bit of an instigator, to the point where he’s lost other friends over it, and is also a hardcore gamer. I’m a big fan of The Sims, and I’m currently playing it on my laptop.)

Friend: “I just don’t see the point in The Sims.”

Me: “Mmmm?”

Friend: “I mean, that has got to be one of the most boring concepts for a game ever.”

Me: “Oh… to each his own, I guess.”

Friend: “It’s a dumb idea. You’re just creating people and have them go about their everyday lives. There’s no excitement in that.”

Me: “Whatever you say, man.”

(Realizing he was not going to get a rise out of me, he gave up and went back to what he was doing. It wasn’t the first or last time he’s tried that with me, but I figured out the quickest way to defuse him was to not get upset. He’s thankfully matured out of that phase since then, but not before ruining another close friendship, and almost destroying the one he had with his roommate at the time.)

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