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My Mother The Monster

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2021


My mother is the worst customer. She’ll argue with you for half an hour over a $10 refund until you either call the police or give it to her just make her go away. My earliest memory at the age of four was her inside of a restaurant repeatedly screaming at someone “Give me my money back! Give me my money back!” over and over.

My mom has irresponsibly left me (age eight) and my sister (infant) unattended in a car parking lot while she goes inside and shops alone. The store manager notices us and instead of calling the cops and having her arrested as she should have, she approaches and sweetly coaxes us to come with her inside the store and find our mom, stating that it wasn’t safe out here and that she didn’t want any “bad people” to take us.

I go with her, and she takes my sister out of her car seat and leads us into the store office. She gives my sister (who is screaming her freaking head off) to another employee, who gently rocks her while the manager gets my mom’s name from me and pages for her to come to the office.

When that woman appears and sees us, she turns a sinister rainbow palette of rage-induced colors that I never knew was humanly possible, while screaming a litany of profanity at eardrum-shattering levels. She rips my sister out of the employee’s arms, grabs me by the arm, and marches us out of the office and onto the main floor.

The manager follows and tries to explain that not only was she looking out for our interest, but she also didn’t want her to get arrested and have us taken away. My mom screams that poor woman’s face off right in front of everyone in the store until the whole place was so quiet you could have heard a mouse sneeze. For the first time ever at the age of eight, I genuinely felt sorry and embarrassed for an adult and almost wanted to give that woman a hug!

When we got home my mom kicked my butt all up and down the house like it was my fault for going with the woman and letting her take my sister instead of being grateful she didn’t leave her off the premises in handcuffs.

33 years later, none of us siblings have anything to do with her for obvious reasons. She actually asked my sister for money to save her house from IRS foreclosure–my sister laughed at her and hung up!

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The Eternal Torment Of Waiting In Line

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: kxtlyn13 | September 4, 2021

When I am around seven years old, my family goes to a popular theme park for my sister’s tenth birthday. Since it is summertime, it is boiling hot; that’s California for you. We go to the log rides to cool ourselves off and a stranger cuts in front of us in line.

Dad: “Hey, what are you doing? We’ve been waiting in line for twenty minutes!”

Stranger: “I’m going to overheat! I deserve this spot more than you!”

Mom: “Ma’am, you can wait in line like everybody else. Just because you’re hot, it doesn’t mean you get to cut in front of everybody.”

A kind worker comes over.

Worker: “What is going on?”

Mom: “This woman cut u—”

Stranger: *Cutting her off* “THEY CUT ME!”

Dad: “Ma’am, I’m pretty sure you did.”


Worker: “I’ll go check the surveillance.”

He comes back and looks at the EP.

Worker: “Miss, according to the surveillance, you cut them out of nowhere. I’m going to have to ask you to go to the back or leave.”

Stranger: “What?! That’s not fair!”

Worker: “If you’re not going to go to the back of the line, I’ll have to call security to ban you. You’re being a bother to everybody else.”

The woman scoffs, rolling her eyes as she leaves. But she doesn’t leave in silence.


Then, she left the line and the place entirely; we didn’t see her anywhere else in the park.

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Instagramedical Emergency

, , , , , | Healthy | CREDIT: AleksFenix96 | September 3, 2021

I work as a paramedic in a small town in northern Germany, thirty kilometers away from the next big city. Sometimes we need to bring patients to the big city.

It is a hot and busy day, we roll the first six hours through the whole city, mostly taking care of small issues that just require transport. After the first real emergency, a car crash that needed transport to the mentioned bigger city, we are putting our stuff back together at the hospital.

Not even one minute after setting our status to “free for calls,” the dispatch has something for us.

Dispatch: “Woman, around twenty years old, feeling unwell, no more information.”

That means it could be anything, from toe pain to cardiac arrest.

After a ten-minute drive with “lights and music,” we arrive and ring at the door. The patient’s boyfriend comes to the door, recording video on his phone.

Patient’s Boyfriend: “Hey, guys, the ambulance came very quick. They even had sirens on!”

My partner and I exchange “What the f***?” looks.

Me: “Good day. We were called to [Patient]. Are we in the right place?”

Patient’s Boyfriend: *Still filming* “Yeah, come in, guys. That’s going to be great.”

Me: *Thinking* “What in the f*** is wrong here?”

We go in to find the young woman lying on the couch. She’s really thin — we can see some of her bones — and unresponsive. While my partner is checking her blood pressure, pulse, etc., and I am getting the monitor (EKG) ready, I ask the boyfriend what the matter is.

Patient’s Boyfriend: *Still filming us* “She was filming her sport tutorial for her Instagram followers and suddenly fainted. She is on a new diet; she just looks too fat.”

Me: “Has she eaten or drunk anything today? And could you please put the phone down?”

Patient’s Boyfriend: “Just a little bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. No, I don’t need to put it down. These ‘blue light stories’ are epic on Instagram.”

We are interrupted by an alarm sound from the monitor. The patient’s blood pressure is worryingly low. And the rest of her vitals don’t look good, either.

Partner: “We need a doctor here.”

In Germany, we can call doctors to the scene if we need to give special medications or make invasive treatments. I call the doctor.

Me: “Mr. [Patient’s Boyfriend], stop filming. Your girlfriend is in critical condition.”

Patient’s Boyfriend: “Nah, man, this is going to be huge. She will love it to put it on her YouTube.”

Partner: *Sarcastically* “Yeah, the ‘How I Nearly Died’ vlog. Absolutely great idea.”

I prepare to put a needle in the patient’s arm. The boyfriend comes so close that he hits me and I nearly stab myself. That is the boiling point. I am now really pissed.

Me: *Calm but a bit louder and clearer* “If you don’t back off and put the phone down, I will get the police here and they will take care of it. You don’t understand, do you? Your girlfriend is lying here with bad blood pressure, oxygen, and pulse. I’m really worried that we are close to needing CPR. Even our doctor is on the way. So back off and put the phone down or the police will really take care of it.”

Patient’s Boyfriend: “Sorry, I can’t. This is my work.”

My partner and I exchange looks again.

Me: “All right, I’m calling the police.”

A few minutes after that, the doctor arrived. He was annoyed by the boyfriend, too, and told him to go away, but he still didn’t listen.

A few more minutes later, the cops came and made him delete all the footage. They stood with him outside until we went to the hospital.

We managed to get the patient to the ICU. She made it and is now in good hands. Hopefully, she dumped her boyfriend.

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The Customer Is Not Always Right, But They May Be Onto Something

, , , , | Working | September 2, 2021

At my job, there’s a regular customer who complains about everything. She’s gotten to the point where only the managers are allowed to deal with her. She’s actually a coworker’s sister, so she should know better or be banned. I go into work and overhear two coworkers talking about her.

Coworker #1: “I think [Customer] is going to be banned after this morning.”

Coworker #2: “Why? What did she do this time?”

Coworker #1: “She saw me drop the lid to her drink and threw a fit.”

Me: “Wait, she threw a fit because you dropped something? That’s stupid.”

Coworker #1: “No, she was complaining because I picked the lid up and put it on her drink.”

Coworker #2: “She used to work here; she knows the floor is clean.”

Me: “But you picked something up off the floor and put it on her drink, where customers could see you, and now you’re complaining about getting caught?” 

Coworker #1: “She’s a major b**** anyway.”

Coworker #2: “You wouldn’t believe what we’ve done to people’s drinks.”

I walked away at that point. I mentioned everything to the owner and nothing was done about it. Thankfully, I left that job.

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If You’re Old Enough To Be A Little S***, You’re Old Enough To Be Treated Like One

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2021

I am a teen working in a popular local restaurant. It is at the end of a thirteen-year-old’s birthday party. The mother has been a complete nightmare the whole time. Everything goes fine until I’m clearing dessert at the entitled little man’s table where he is surrounded by his twelve- to thirteen-year-old friends.

Boy: “You’ve been absolutely great today!”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Boy: “In fact, you’ve been so great that my friends and I have gathered a tip for you!”

Me: “That’s terribly sweet of you but I’m sure that’s unnecessary.”

Boy: “But I insist!”

He slides a nickel across the table while I have ten dishes in my hands while his friend snicker.

Me: “F*** YOU!”

I storm away so angry I don’t know what to do. It’s only when I reach the kitchen that I realize what has just happened. I cursed… at a “child”… on his birthday. I immediately go to the owner.

Me: “I need you to hear this from me before you hear it from his mother.”

I tell him the story, expecting to be fired on the spot. The owner is silent for a good ten seconds and then looks me in the eye.

Owner: “Good for you. Don’t you ever take s*** from anyone.”

Me: “You’ll probably be hearing from the boy’s mother.”

Owner: “Don’t worry. I’ll explain to her that I trust and care for my staff and she has a little s*** for a son.”

There was never a complaint, as I think the kid was too afraid or shocked to say what happened.

Not everything is terrible in the service industry if you have a boss that believes in you and backs you up. I was in the kitchen one day and almost backed into him, and he yelled at me, “Hey! Don’t look where you’ve been! Look where you’re going!” Best advice ever.

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