About To Go (Mark Of The) Beast-Mode On Your Neighbor

, , , , , | Friendly | July 12, 2018

(My neighbor and I have a long-seeded history of hate for one another. It started with her giving me snarky remarks about weaning my son from his bottle at ten months old and escalated from there. I am sitting on my other neighbor’s deck, just talking to [Neighbor #1]. The neighbor I do not like, [Neighbor #2], walks up and just butts into the conversation. My husband starts bringing my son over so I call out:)

Me: “Yay, here comes [Son]!”

(His name happens to be the same name as the kid from “The Omen.”)

Neighbor #2: “Oh, lord! Please tell me that’s not your child’s name! Don’t take this the wrong way, but anyone with the name ‘[Son]’ belongs in Hell with all the demons and Satan himself! I knew a ‘[Son]’ once and he was the absolute worst person I have ever met in my life! You’ve condemned your child to a life of Hell! He will rot in Hell with the rest of his kind.”

(I was absolutely the maddest I have ever been, but I somehow worked up the strength to walk away. She told me my two-year-old son belonged in Hell with Satan just because of his name, and I wasn’t supposed to take that the wrong way?)

Out Of Line On The Line

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I work at a call center with a major cell phone carrier.)

Me: “Good afternoon. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Caller: “Do you like sex?”

Me: *pregnant pause*

Caller: “Hello? Hello are you there? I ask you a question. Do you like sex?”

(I flag down a manager, as we’re not allowed to hang up until we notify a supervisor our “customer” is being abusive. Meanwhile, my mouth is going on to fill the space because every call is recorded, and they watch the audio readouts for gaps of silence.)

Me: “Sir, I will only ask you once not to talk to me that way.”

Low-Level Supervisor: *overhearing, looks at me in shock, and frantically runs to get an actual manager*

Caller: “I only ask you a simple question. Hello? Hello? Did you hear me? I just want to know if you like the sex.” *continues in the same vein, much more explicitly, with an eerily innocent tone*

Manager: “[My Name], is he being nasty?”

Me: *while muting myself on the phone* “Yes. Yes, he is. May I please hang up?”

Manager: “Yes! Yes! I thought you did already!”

Me: “Thank you! No one said I could yet.”

Caller: “Hello, are you still there? Do you want to sex with—”

Me: *hangs up*


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Egging You On

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I work in a drive-thru at a fast food store.)

Customer: “I would like a bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Was that a bacon and egg muffin?”

Customer: “Yes, but add tomato and ketchup.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $4.95. Please drive forward.”

(The customer pays, gets his muffin, and then drives away. He comes back through the drive-thru about five minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I ordered a f****** bacon egg burger, and you gave me this s***.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You ordered a bacon egg muffin with tomato and ketchup. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just wanted a burger.”

Me: “So, a hamburger with bacon, egg, and tomato?”

Customer: “Yes, just give me my f****** burger.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get that out to you.”

(He gets his burger and drives away, but he’s soon back in my drive-thru.)

Customer: “How f****** hard is it to make me a f****** burger?”

(I’m tired of his ranting.)

Me: “So, exactly what do you want?”

Customer: “A f****** bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Yes, but what exactly on the burger and what bun?”

Customer: “A normal bun with bacon, egg, burger, tomato, and ketchup.”

Me: “Right, I’ll get that to you.”

(I then go make a quarter-pound burger with no cheese added, bacon, egg, and tomato, with ketchup, worth double his original payment.)

Me: “There you are; just so you know, next time you order just say that you want a quarter po—”

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** what I say; you should know what I want!” *drives away*


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Not So Tender About The Chicken

, , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I work in a very popular grocery store bakery department, which is located right next to the deli. I watch this situation unfold with one of my deli coworkers, who’s a good friend of mine. My coworker only has 15 minutes left for his shift and is currently finishing up frying chicken tenders and placing them on racks to cool off and be packaged later. A customer known for being unreasonable and rude approaches the deli. I’m already feeling bad for my coworker.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Hello?!”

(My coworker turns around immediately after placing some hot chicken on the rack.)

Coworker: “Hello, how can I help—”

Customer: *interrupting in a condescending tone* “Yeah, I need five fresh chicken tenders.”

Coworker: “Absolutely. I have fresh ones still very hot right here. Would you like to wait for them to cool off—”

Customer: “No, I’m in a hurry and need them now; just make sure they are fresh.”

(My coworker is looking annoyed, but since he’s off soon, he goes along with it. He shoots me an annoyed grin from across the deli, and I smile back, wishing I had some popcorn. He begins picking up the still-steaming chicken and placing them in the container carefully, when the customer stops him.)

Customer: “Wait! What are you doing?! I said I wanted them fresh!”

(My coworker jumps and almost drops the container as she screams at him for the whole store to hear.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, these are fresh; they’re still very hot as I said.”

Customer: “No, you’re lying to me! I just saw you make those! They’re not fresh at all!”

(My coworker is starting to look angry now.)

Coworker: “Exactly, ma’am. I just pulled them from the fryer, because I was frying them, since this is fried chicken. So, you witnessed me completing the last step in preparing this chicken, making these the freshest chicken tenders you’re going to get.”

Customer: “No, that is unacceptable. I want to see you make those tenders from scratch. You’re probably lying to me and those tenders have been sitting there for hours. I asked for fresh, and that isn’t fresh!”

(My coworker stares at her in the most blank, unreadable stare as she unloads on him. I feel like I should hide behind my counter because I get a feeling he’s going to blow up on her. Instead, he lets a few seconds go by, and then catches me off guard by displaying the most enthusiastic smile.)

Coworker: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me go in the back and grab a live chicken to kill for you.”

Customer: “Mhm, you do that.”

(He ends up just taking off his apron and clocking out, leaving the customer standing there, waiting. I go on my break so she won’t go after me next. The manager doesn’t even reprimand him, since the customer is stupid enough to explain exactly how it happened with her complaint.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this is a family store; we’re not going to slaughter a f****** chicken in front of our customers, even if we did have live animals. I’m disturbed you believed him.”

What’s His Deal?

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I manage a business that caters to people with body modifications such as gauged ears, plugs, piercings, etc. A lot of my clientele is polite, but occasionally I get a customer who gives us modified types a bad rap. Since I’m female, sometimes the male customers don’t take me seriously and think they can bully me.)

Customer: “How much are these plugs in my size?”

Me: “They’re $20 a pair.”

Customer: “And if I get two pairs?”

Me: “That would be $40.”

Customer: *stares at me*

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to make me a deal if I want more things.”

Me: *flatly* “Am I?”

Customer: “Yeah, b****, it’s called good customer service. Don’t you f****** know anything?”

(Since this sort of encounter happens more than I would like to admit, I’m already over trying to help this guy.)

Me: “All right. You can either talk to me with respect, or you can leave, dude. I don’t have time for your crap.”

Customer: *looks at me stunned, silent*

Me: “Well?”

Customer: “I want a manager! Who the f*** do you think you are?!”

Me: “The f****** manager.”

(The customer looked pissed, then left.)


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