A bickering couple comes up to me as I am working behind the counter.

Male Customer: “Excuse me, but are you a Mormon?”

Me: “Uh… yes?”

Male Customer: “Excellent! We finally found one! Can you please tell my wife you’re allowed to have as many wives as you want?”

Me: “That’s… not true. We only take one wife.”

Female Customer: “Hah! See?! I told you!”

Male Customer: “Huh… I always thought Mormons were allowed multiple wives.”

Me: “It’s a common misconception, sir.”

Male Customer: “Well then, what’s the point of all that missionary stuff you’ve all gotta do if not to find yourselves some decent wives?”

Me: “It’s purely to preach, sir.”

Male Customer: “What a waste of time!”

Female Customer: “Don’t mind him. He’s just bored every Sunday at church and is feeling around for other options…”

Related:
Not A Fan Of Poly-gab-at-me

I work in a giant retail location. At the time of this story, the state had been forcing us to put individual price stickers on each and every single individual grocery item. The devices they gave us to print the stickers with were terribly finicky and difficult to load, they suffered frequent paper jams, and we often just weren’t able to change the numbers they would print, forcing us to go back and get a completely new device when we needed to print a different price.

On top of this, the store, which had put us all on timers to complete stocking our area, refused to add any more time to our tasks to account for all the extra time taken dealing with the pricing devices, which did end up getting some of us written up for failing to meet time goals. We were all in varying stages of irritation with the process, to put it gently.

Then, one day, we got wonderful news! The state would no longer be requiring us to use the price stickers on merchandise anymore! However, management explained to us the prerequisite for this.

Manager: “Okay, team, so you’ve all heard that the state is going to be giving us a waiver making us exempt from having to put price stickers on grocery merchandise.”

There were audible sighs of relief and even a couple of cheers.

Management: “Yes, yes, this is good, but we need to pass an inspection first. The state is going to send someone to our store who is going to inspect a random grocery area, and if every item has a sticker with the right price on it, we get the waiver. However, if anything is missing a sticker or has the wrong price, we’ll have to keep putting stickers on everything until the inspector comes back again to see if we pass the inspection that time.”

Coworker #1: “Wwwwwhat?! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! We don’t have to print stickers anymore, but in order to not have to print stickers anymore, we have to have printed stickers perfectly on absolutely everything?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, and how would they know the difference between a sticker not having been put on something and the sticker just having fallen off?”

Manager: *Nodding* “I completely agree, but I can’t make the state change their rules. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d dare say their methods may just have something to do with the fact that they get to charge the store a fee each time they have to come out for an inspection.”

There was much grumbling, but we mostly accepted reality. It took us nearly half a year of roughly monthly inspections before we finally passed and were able to stop using those infernal devices.

One of our new hosting staff takes a call from a customer.

Host: “Let me check for you, but I’m preeeetty sure it’s made out of metal.”

They call me over.

Host: “Hey, [My Name], this customer is asking if we have a wood grill. Pretty stupid, right?”

Me: “Yeah… so stupid. Hey, let me take that call for you!”

I work in a warehouse grocery store that requires a membership to shop. Everything is sold in bulk, and we only have one competitor in the area that also sells in bulk. People get upset and threaten to shop at the competitor store all the time.

After one such interaction, I can’t help but look at my supervisor and say;

Me: “If I gave them directions to [Competitor], how much trouble would I be in?”

Supervisor: “I’d laugh, but I would have to write you up.”

Dang.

One of the services our business offers is to sell trophies and make custom plaques and engravings for them. This means many customers come back once a year to add the name of the most recent winner. It’s usually the winner’s job to bring in the trophy and get their name added.

Today, I got to witness an infamous customer who comes in roughly once every year.

Customer: *Heavy sigh* “Here I am again…”

Coworker: “Oh, hello! Here you are again!”

My coworker gives me a pointed look as we both recognise who this is.

Customer: *Puts a small trophy on the table* “Here is the ugly thing. I hate it.”

For whatever reason, this woman comes in every time she wins to get her name engraved, and every time, she moans about how ugly the trophy is. I’m almost disappointed. It’s a pretty standard trophy. It looks like a metal goblet on a wooden stand.

Coworker: *Trying to lighten the mood* “You won, though! That’s nice.”

Customer: “Yeah, I suppose. But it’s so awful that I don’t even keep it on display. I just keep it in my locker at work.”

Coworker: “Well… I suppose you can’t always choose your own prize, huh?”

Customer: “Oh. No, I was the one who picked it out in the first place.”

My coworker and I just stared at each other. She’s been coming in for years, always expressing how much she hates it, and has never made any attempt to fix or make changes to what is for all intents and purposes HER trophy. Perhaps she just likes complaining?