Not A Fan Of Poly-gab-at-me

(I’m finishing up a tech support call. The conversation has been normal up until this point.)

Customer: “Can I ask where you’re located? You’re not in India, are you?”

Me: “No, we are not in India. We are located in Utah.”

Customer: “Utah, huh? Can I ask you a personal question?”

Me: “Well, I generally avoid discussing personal matters with people I don’t know.”

Customer: “Okay, well, are you Mormon?”

Me: “I am.”

Customer: “How many wives do you have?”

Me: “None.”

Customer: “Okay, okay… but how many are you going to have?”

Me: “One.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you’re Mormon! Shouldn’t you have like twenty?”

Me: “Sir, it is a common misconception that Mormons have more than one wife, but we don’t. Is there any other technical issue I can help you with?”

Customer: “I would become Mormon just so I could have a bunch of wives.”

(In the background, I hear a woman yelling at the man I’m speaking with.)

Customer: “Shut up, woman! I’m on the phone!”

Me: “It doesn’t sound like you can handle the wife you already have. Why would you want more?”

Customer: “Well, I wouldn’t want to talk to them!”