I’m alone at home and my phone starts ringing.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “Hello, this is [Scammer] from [Phone Provider]. Your phone line will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, so we need you to phone our special number for further instructions.”

I’m working from home due to the sanitary situation, and losing my phone and my Internet would be a VERY bad thing for me. However, there’s something about this woman’s voice that screams “scam attempt.” She makes me write the special number down and it’s becoming obvious that it’s a premium rate number: if I phone them, I’ll lose a lot of money. I could just hang up now or tell her I’m not fooled, but I decide to play with her, instead.

Scammer: “So! You have our number!”

Me: “Yes! 06 26…”

Scammer: “No. I just said 00 26.”

Me: “00 36…”

Scammer: “No. 00 26…”

Me: “00 26…”

Scammer: “76…”

Me: “36…”

Scammer: “No! There’s no 36!”

Me: “How dare you say that? One of my coworkers is thirty-six, and she’s a truly wonderful person!”

Scammer: “There’s no thirty-six in this phone number. Let’s resume.”

Me: “Okay, let’s resume, but please, don’t insult the number thirty-six.”

Scammer: “Goodbye.”

She hung up. I waited twenty-four hours and my line wasn’t cut. I guess it was definitely a scam attempt.

I am a new employee at the craft store where I am supposed to be a stock person. Like every company I’ve ever worked at, I have to read the “newbie” stuff that summarizes safety and company expectations. It is on a computer, so the manager sets it up for me and leaves me to read it.

I start on the first “lesson” and am treated to a massive page of information in small font, most of which looks like legal jargon on laws involving my range of authority.

Me: “[Manager], I think you gave me the wrong lesson.”

Manager: “I gave you the same lesson that everybody else is required to read, [My Name]. Just read it.”

Me: “No, I really think you gave me the wrong—”

Manager: “Stop arguing with me and read it! You have an hour, which is plenty of time!”

Me: “…”

I do my best, but I’m struggling. While I am proud to admit that I can read quite well, this massive pile of text is nothing short of legalese usually found in the small print explaining how a company is in no way responsible for your stereo opening a portal to an Eldritch plane of existence.

I fail to complete even the first “lesson,” get an earful from my manager, and then get chewed out AGAIN trying to explain that I really do seem to have the wrong lesson.

I am given a second hour the following week in an attempt to complete the lessons, and again I fail to complete even the first one.

Finally, the store manager pulls me into his office.

Store Manager: “[My Name], it really is ridiculous that you’re so far behind in your lessons. It shouldn’t even take you fifteen minutes to go through the first one. They’re not complicated, and you really need to read faster than that.”

Me: *Frustrated* “[Store Manager], I can read a Harry Potter book in less than a day. The lessons [Manager] gave me are nothing but complicated legalese and jargon.”

The store manager frowns and goes to bring up what I’ve been reading on my little online account and his jaw drops.

Store Manager: “This is what she gave you?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Store Manager: “These are definitely the wrong lessons! This is information that a store manager is required to know in order to avoid breaking the law while running the store! This takes months and several very expensive company classes to complete! Did you tell [Manager] that she gave you the wrong lesson?!”

Me: “Several times. She kept interrupting me and telling me to stop arguing and that my lesson was the same as everyone else’s.”

Store Manager: “I’m very sorry about this. Let me give you the actual lessons.”

The actual lessons involved a slide show about knowing where the fire extinguishers are and common-sense advice for things a regular employee would need to know about safety. I finished it in fifteen minutes.

This incident was just the first of many such encounters with [Manager] until I finally quit that job.

I am working on setting up a new store. The owners are desperate to open as the setup has taken longer than they expected due to the store being larger than any they have opened in the past. They decide to get all the staff to concentrate on finishing most of the departments and blocking off an unfinished area so that they can open on the advertised date.

We have built walls using cartons of stock to block off the area, leaving a roped-off opening for staff to access. I am part of the team that is assigned to finish off the area, and as we complete an area, we move the wall of cartons. At one stage, the wall doesn’t quite span across the area blocked off; there is a gap of about twenty to thirty centimetres. Most customers just peer through the gap to see what we are doing, but not one woman.

I hear the sound of the carton wall moving and look up to see a woman squeezing herself through the gap. I rush up to stop her from doing so as the cartons are full of stock and could harm her if she pushes the wall over.  

Me: “I’m sorry, but you can’t come through that way.”

Customer: “Why not? I want to shop in here!”

Me: “This area isn’t set up for customers yet.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘not set up yet’? The shop is open and I want to shop!”

Me: “This part is not open yet; we are still working on getting it done.”

Customer: *Screaming* “How dare you open this place if it’s not completely finished?! I am so disgusted! I will be telling people not to shop here!”

She stomps off. I turn to see my store manager watching from the other end of the area. I explain to him that I stopped her from squeezing through the gap and possibly knocking the cartons onto herself and what she said to me.

Manager: “So, she’s not coming back? Good. We don’t need crazies in here. You handled that well.”

I’m working at a popular burger place. I have been working there for almost two years, and I was just promoted to manager, but due to school, I put in my two-week notice the next day. Thus, even though I am wearing a manager uniform, I can barely be considered one.

We had just managed to survive the lunch rush, and the drive-thru traffic had died down.

Coworker: “There’s some angry customer in the drive-thru who wants us to replace her small fry.”

I bag up a new small fry and hand it to my coworker. [Coworker] tries to hand the customer the bag, but instead of taking the free food and leaving like a normal person, the customer immediately asks to speak to a manager. [Coworker] complies and runs off to get our head manager. I am trying to bag the next person’s order when I hear a shrill voice bark.

Customer: “Excuse me, are you a manager?”

I nod in the affirmative, internally sigh, and walk over to the window.

Customer: “Do you care about your job? Don’t you work hard here?”

She has a smug grin on her face, and I know she wants me to say yes so that she can berate me.

Me: *Shrugging* “No, not really.”

Customer: *Glaring* “What?!”

Me: “I just put in my two weeks a few days ago, I’ve worked about seven days in a row now, and no, I’m not going to say I care.”

Customer: *Flabbergasted* “B-but, what about the quality of the food?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Burger Place].”

Customer: “I know, but what about getting my money’s worth?!”

Me: “Your whole two dollars?”

Exasperated, the customer shrieked and floored it out of the drive-thru. [Coworker] and [Head Manager] both stared at me in shock, but I didn’t get punished because I was leaving in a couple of weeks anyway.

I work as a cashier at a popular pet store. A certain cat food that is very popular is having production problems, so we are very short on certain flavors of said food. Most customers understand that this is not our fault, but then there are some like this woman.

Me: “Hi there! Were you able to find what you were looking for today?”

This is a standard greeting I use for every customer I greet at the register.

Customer: *Yelling* “No! I never find what I’m looking for now! And I can’t stand when you all ask that over and over!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’m required to ask every customer. Are you referring to the cat food shortage? Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about that as it is the producer that is not shipping us the product.”

Customer: “I don’t care! This is all my cat will eat. You have to get more! I’m sick of not finding what I’m looking for!”

Me: “I apologize again, ma’am, but there is honestly nothing we can do—”

Customer: “Get the manager; this is ridiculous!”

Me: *Thinking* “Gladly…”

The manager comes over. Little does she know, he is a no-nonsense man and does NOT believe the customer is always right. After listening to her rant:

Manager: “So, you want us to somehow force the production company to send us a product they don’t have and can’t make at the moment?”

Customer: “Well, that’s not what I sai—”

Manager: “That’s what you just said to me, ma’am. I was just summarizing for you.”

Customer: “So, I’m dumb now, huh?”

Manager: “Not at all, ma’am. We just can’t do anything for you. Your best bet is to call the production company.”

Customer: “I’ll do that!”

After she snatches her purchases out of my hand, she stomps out. My manager just laughs and shakes his head.

Me: “You know they’re just going to tell her to get bent, right?”

Manager: “Oh, I know, but at least she’ll be on hold for a good hour, though.”