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Now I Can Never Move My Car Again

, , , , | Friendly | December 17, 2020

My friend works at an office that faces a municipal parking lot. To the side of the office is a narrow driveway going down a slope to a private lot belonging to that office. [Friend] needs to deliver some papers, so she gets in her car, sets the papers down, and pulls out her phone to check directions. Soon, there’s a loud pounding on her window.

Entitled Lady: “Are you leaving that spot or not? Don’t just play on your phone when other people need to park.”

Friend: “Ma’am, this is a private lot owned by that office right there. It’s not part of the municipal lot.”

Entitled Lady: “I don’t care. I need to park. Now get out of that space and let me park there.”

[Friend] decided that she had urgent business inside the office and left her car where it was.

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It’s Safest To Save Talking Smack For Home

, , , , | Right | December 19, 2020

I am serving tables as a seventeen-year-old student in a quite nice restaurant in Belgium. I am a white male with blonde hair and blue eyes. On a rather calm evening, a man, wife, and son sit down at a table. Passing by, I notice that they are Latino because of the Spanish accent they speak with and the Chilean flag tattooed on the man’s arm.

Because my family is quite linguistic and kind of multicultural, I am near-fluent in Spanish, as well as a couple of other languages. While I’m serving the table in my native language, the man starts a video call with family in Chile. At one point, the d*****bag tells this family member, in Spanish:

Man: “I’ll get this idiotic-looking waiter. He’s sucked at everything he has been doing all night.”

I get that I sometimes make mistakes, but I’ve done nothing of the kind this evening.

The man evidently thought I wouldn’t understand him speaking in Spanish. So, when I bring him and his family dessert, I say:

Me: “Buen provecho, disfrúten su postre.” Bon appetit, enjoy your dessert.

Then, I smiled sarcastically and left. The s***bag didn’t know what came over him. He hung up pretty quickly after that. His wife didn’t seem to happy with the situation and made it pretty clear to her husband. The son just seemed confused. They didn’t leave a tip.

Source: Reddit (Credit: yalen_002, Original Story)

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The Sauce Of The Problem Is You

, , , | Right | December 21, 2020

During my teens, I work in a small takeaway food shop and my best friend works in the grocery store next door. One day, she comes in to buy a burger for lunch.

Friend: “I’ll just have a burger with no sauce, please.”  

I make the burger, which she takes back to the grocery shop to eat. I see her later.  

Friend: “I don’t know what you did with that burger, but it was really bland and there was no brown stuff on it.”

Me: “Brown stuff?”

Friend: “Yeah, when [Brother] buys me burgers, there’s always some brown stuff on it that tastes really nice.”

Me: “Do you mean the sauce?”

Friend: “No, I don’t like sauce. This stuff is brown and it’s sort of liquidy.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s BBQ sauce.”

Friend: “Nooo, sauce is red! I don’t like sauce.”

Me: “Ketchup is red; BBQ sauce is brown. We always put BBQ sauce on burgers.”

Friend: “Well, why didn’t you put it on mine?”

Me: “You asked for no sauce.”

Friend: “You should have known I meant no red sauce!”

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You’ve Got A Lot Of Gall But No Bladder

, , , , , , | Related | December 18, 2020

My memory on this is hazy, but I’ll do my best to tell it accurately. A year ago, I was hospitalized and had to have emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed. I have severe anxiety and a fear of hospitals, so I had a very hard time during my stay, especially when my family wasn’t visiting. The first day was horrible, even though the nurses were so kind. By the second day, I was doing okay, and on the third day, I was given the okay to go home. I gave the hospital permission to share my medical information with my mom.

A month later, my mom is driving me to school when she notices one of her tires losing air quickly and pulls over. We call my dad to ask for help and we talk while we wait. While I’m talking, I notice my mom looking at me strangely.

Me: “Everything okay? You’re looking at me funny.”

Mom: “You really don’t wanna go today, do you?”

Me: “I really don’t, but I know it’s important for me to go.”

Mom: “I can tell from the look on your face. You’re usually excited to go, but you look really tired.”

I’m still getting occasional pains from the surgery, and I’ve been having trouble adjusting to life without a gallbladder since many foods make me sick now. I just don’t have the energy to sit through any of my classes that day. I say this to my mom, and she is quiet for a minute.

Mom: “I need to tell you something.”

Me: “What is it?”

Mom: “You were in a very serious condition the day we brought you to the hospital.”

I’m confused by this. I was in excruciating pain that day, but everyone acted like everything was fine.

Me: “But I was told that I had gallstones.”

Mom: “You did have those, but you also had gallbladder disease and your gallbladder was thickened. You could have died.”

Me: *Pause* “What?”

Mom: “One of the nurses that was with you said your gallbladder was almost septic. You would have been dead within a month if you hadn’t gone to the hospital that day.”

I am so shocked that my mouth is gaping open. At this point, my dad shows up and looks at the tire, but my mom keeps the window up so we can still talk.

Me: “I… Oh, my God. I was that close to dying?”

Mom: “You were, but I thought you could handle knowing it now. Despite what you think of yourself, you’re a h*** of a lot stronger than you think you are.”

I stare at my mom, trying to process what she told me. I am thinking of all that has happened in the past month when my dad knocks on the driver-side window.

Dad: “Hey, does [My Name] need a ride to school?”

Me: “No, I’m gonna stay home, instead. I don’t think I’ll be able to focus today.”

I was so calm that I thought I just didn’t process what I just found out, so I waited for weeks, thinking that at some point it was gonna hit me like a train. But I never had the reaction I thought I would — no panic attack, no crying, nothing. I was shocked, but otherwise, I felt so happy that I was alive and healthier than I was before. I just accepted it and moved on. It seems like Mom was right after all.

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We Weren’t Creeped Out Until The End

, , , | Working | December 24, 2020

I’m on a business trip with a colleague. I’m not very experienced with travelling, while he has been all over Europe due to work or pleasure.

Soon after we leave the car rental, the tire pressure alert on our rented car goes off. We stop at the first gas station on the road. The attendant, a young, mild-mannered man, comes out of the shack to greet us.

Attendant: “Hello. Do you need petrol or diesel?”

Colleague: “Hello. Neither. Our tank is full, but is it possible to check the tire pressure?”

Attendant: “No problem.”

He goes inside the shack, returns with the pressure gauge hose, fits it to the column, and starts checking the tires. I’m embarrassed that he’s doing all this for free, since pressure checking is complimentary and we’re not buying gas. During our entire exchange, the attendant is polite and smiling.

Attendant: “All in order. Anything else?”

Me: “Yeah, is it possible to get two coffees at the bar?”

I figure that if I pay for the coffees, I can at least leave a tip for the work on the tires. We get inside the bar and the attendant prepares two coffees using a small espresso machine, of the kind you find in households.

Me: “How much for the coffees?”

Attendant: “Nothing. Coffee is free.”

Me: “Oh, come on. Do you at least have a tip jar?”

Attendant: “No, really. There’s no need. It’s on the house. It’s fine.”

Stranger and stranger. I’m puzzled by this, but my colleague seems fine with it and I don’t want to drag this for long, as we still have a day’s work ahead of us.

Colleague: “Well, all right, then. Thank you very much and goodbye.”

Attendant: “Have a good day.”

We leave in silence. I’m still mulling the whole thing over.

Me: “Do you also think he had just murdered the real attendant and was just waiting for us to leave so he could run away with the cash?”

Colleague: “I don’t know, but this is the creepiest R&R stop ever.”

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