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Entitlement At 30,000 Feet

, , , , | Right | December 29, 2022

On our flight, the only open seat on the whole plane is between me and the elderly man by the window. A forty-ish-year-old woman is seated in the middle of the row behind us. She taps me on the shoulder.

Woman: “Hey, trade seats with me.

Me: “No, thanks.

Woman: “Seriously? There’s one empty seat on the whole plane.

Me: “Must be my lucky day, then.”

Elderly Man:Our lucky day; we can have a party!”

Me: “Apple juice and peanuts for everyone!

The elderly man smiles.

Woman: “B****!”

She leans back, making various comments the whole trip about how disrespectful and selfish I am. When we land, the people behind me flood the aisle. The flight attendant speaks over the loudspeaker.

Attendant: “Welcome to [City]. We understand you would like to leave, but we have not yet been cleared to open the doors. Please return to your seats and wait. Thank you for understanding.

Woman: “Jesus Christ. Seriously?

Attendant: “Ma’am, please sit down. We will be out of here as soon as possible.

The elderly man and I exchange a glance but say nothing. We sit there for maybe ten minutes, the man happily looking out the window. The flight attendant announces that we are free to go, and I feel the woman behind me pull on the seats to stand. I get up and stand in the aisle.

Me: “Come on, sir.”

Elderly Man: “Are you sure?

Me: “I don’t mind waiting.

Woman: “Are you joking? You’re such a f****** b****!”

Me: “How about you sit down and be respectful and patient?”

The woman glares at me but doesn’t say anything else. The elderly man makes his way off the plane. At the front, we meet up with the flight attendant.

Attendant: “Have a good day. Thank you.”

Elderly Man: “This one—” *gestures to me* “—is nice.

Attendant: “That’s lovely, sir.

Elderly Man: “That one—” *gestures to the woman behind me* “—is lucky the other one didn’t sock her.

Attendant: *Shocked* “Oh. Okay, sir. You… have a wonderful day.”

The attendant gave me a confused look, but I just smiled and shrugged.

The Father Of All Entitlement

, , , , , , | Right | January 4, 2023

I work in the billing office at a university. I answer the phone.

Caller: “My son is a student there and just got a work-study job. I need to have your payroll department put the check in my name and send it to me.”

I’m hoping I’ve misunderstood him.

Me: “Do you mean his work-study job where he is the employee? As in his job paycheck?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Work-study is just like any other employment with respect to payment; the check goes to the employee.”

Caller: “No, the check needs to go to me. I’m paying for his school.”

Me: “Well, that’s something you will need to work out with him. The university needs to pay the employee in accordance with labor laws.”

Caller: *Yelling* “That is unacceptable! I am entitled to that money! The university is ripping me off! I’m paying for his school, so keeping any money he makes there from me is defrauding me!”

I put him through to my managers, and the call eventually reached the head of the department before he realized that no amount of stupidity and yelling would get him what he wanted.

Worst. Lifeguard. Ever.

, , , , , , , | Related | January 5, 2023

My dog Rosie is a mix of black lab and Nova Scotia duck-tolling retriever. Both are supposed to be good in the water.

We have an in-ground pool at our house, and this dog absolutely hates it. Whenever we are in it, she freaks out, barking at us and running around the concrete surrounding it. She never gets close enough to the water to risk falling in, though. The only thing that makes her get close to the water is when my young twin nieces (age five) and nephew (less than a year old) are in the pool with us. Then, she will come up to the edge and bark at us. She is a very protective dog, especially of the youngest ones around.

We were in the pool one day, and Rosie was near the edge, very concerned because we had the little ones in the pool. She turned around to go bark at my husband to let him know this was not okay, but she misjudged just how close she was to the edge, and her back legs fell in.

The look on her face of sheer terror was hilarious, only because I know she can swim; she just doesn’t like to. When she realized that no one was going to push her back up onto the side of the pool because we had the small children she was freaking out about in our arms, she resigned herself to swimming five feet over to the stairs to get herself out.

After she got out, she decided that the adults were protecting the small ones well enough and went to lay down in a sunny patch to dry off.

This Sale Totally Tanked

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2023

I work in a pet store.

Customer: “Hello! We’d like to get some fish, please!”

Me: “Sure! What size tank do you guys have?”

Customer: “It’s this size! These are also the fish that we want, these two right here!” *Shows me the most difficult fish* 

Me: “Okay! I was looking for the size of the tank that you’re going to put them in.”

Customer: “Uh… medium?”

Long story short, the fish they wanted needed a forty-gallon tank. They were buying a five-gallon. At least they were nice about it?

The Hateful Wait

, , , | Right | January 6, 2023

I’m lined up to order lunch at a fairly popular burger restaurant near my office. The lunch rush crowd is in, so there are a lot of people waiting for their orders. The lady who is right in front of me obviously notices this.

Customer: “Why are there so many people here? I’d better not need to wait for my food.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We are a little backed up, and it will be a ten-minute wait for—”

Customer: “Ten minutes?! I don’t want to wait for ten minutes! You need to push my food out first, because I don’t want to wait for it.”

The neighboring cashier looks up, with an honest look of confusion on her face.

Neighboring Cashier: “Does anyone ever want to wait for their food?”

The lady puffed up in annoyance, especially when several of the other customers didn’t treat the cashier’s question as rhetorical and called out, “No!”

The lady paid and then stomped right out of the restaurant with her receipt. I got up, made my order, paid, and then waited. The lady’s number was called, but she didn’t show up to pick it up. I got my food, while they called the lady’s number a few more times before pushing the food off to the side.

I guess she sure showed them, paying for a meal and then not getting to eat it.