Surprise! It’s Gender Stereotypes!

, , , , , | Related | February 15, 2019

(My two nieces — aged little and littler — and a friend of mine are over. Unfortunately, [Niece #1] has a stomach bug, so no dairy. Before my friend came over, my mother told me to get a “surprise” for [Niece #2] while [Niece #1] snuggled and watched cat videos with her. The surprise was yogurt. A few hours later, [Niece #1] is feeling more energetic after a nap and decides to hang out with me and my friend. After a while, she decides she’s hungry:)

Niece #1: “[My Name], I want a surprise like you gave [Niece #2]. I’m hungry.”

Me: “Uh, hold on a second, sweetie.”

(I text my mother and ask what I can give [Niece #1]. After waiting for a couple moments, [Niece #1] starts waving a wand.)

Friend: “Oh, are you trying to turn [My Name] into something?”

Niece #1: “No.”

Me: “What about a frog? Can you turn me into a frog? I want to be a frog.”

Niece #1: “No! I’m not trying to turn you into something. I’m… I’m trying to turn you into the kitchen!”

(Note, I am female.)

Me: “Oh, is that where I belong?”

Niece #1: “Yeah.”

(Luckily, after the laughing stopped I got the all-clear to give her a popsicle.)

Gangbangers Have To Use The Overflow Parking

, , , , | Romantic | January 27, 2019

(My husband and I took our nine-month-old daughter to the doctor’s for her booster flu shot. We drive into a spot that’s labeled “patron parking,” and my husband observes something to the effect of:)

Husband: “Yep, we’re allowed to park here.”

(I turn and get out of the car, while telling him:)

Me: “The label is probably for game days; the lot is rather close to the [Local College Stadium].”

(He gives me a funny look, and comes around to get the baby out of the car.)

Husband: “What did you say the label was for?”

Me: “Game days!”

Husband: *a massive look of relief rests on his face* “Oh, good. I thought you said they were for GANGBANGS.”

(I was laughing so hard that I barely made it to the building in a straight line.)

Unfiltered Story #137107

, , | Unfiltered | January 22, 2019

(I have colored hair that I usually get a lot of compliments on. A woman came in and got an order to go. I had been having a long day and spelled her name wrong.)
Customer:  (while handing her the receipt) You spelled my name so wrong, would you mind changing that for me.
(I was about to do it as I have had customers with similar requests)
Customer: oh my gosh I was kidding. You have great hair I thought you had a personality.
(I laughed it off but I thought it was pretty rude and I was upset but I got over it)

Just Tell Them They Will Get Dog Breath

, , , , | Healthy Right | January 20, 2019

(I’m a receptionist for a busy veterinarian office. We have a strict policy of not giving medical advice over the phone for the protection of the patients, as I am not a medical professional; I am a receptionist with zero medical training. A frantic woman calls.)

Caller: “What’s going to happen to me? I used my dog’s toothbrush!”

Me: “I don’t believe anything should happen to you, but if you’re worried, you should call your own doctor for advice.”

Caller: “But don’t you know?! You know about dogs; you should know what will happen to me!”

(Both my other phone lines are now ringing.)

Me: “I cannot give medical advice over the phone. Also, we are a veterinarian. If you need medical advice for people, you need to speak to a human doctor.”

Caller: “But don’t you know? You know about dogs.”

Me: *repeating myself* “I really cannot give medical advice for pets or humans. If you are worried, call your own doctor. Now, I need to answer some other calls.”

Caller: “Okay. I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what will happen to me.”

(I had to hang up on the woman because she wouldn’t stop whining about it.)

Unfiltered Story #137050

, , , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2019

(My boyfriend is in the process of scheduling his Series 6 Securities exam -this enables him to take his Series 63, which enables him to help clients invest their funds into mutual funds, stocks, annuities, IRAs, and/or 401Ks. He sees that his window to schedule the exam is finally open- meaning he’s passed his Federal background check, Credit check, and properly completed a 10 year job history, and other paperwork- and he calls the Testing center to schedule his exam.)

Him: Hi I’m calling to schedule my Series 6 exam.

Worker: (With a very strong accent, that my boyfriend barely understands.) Ok, that’s great let me just get some basic information. Will you please spell your first and last name?

Him: Sure it’s NICHOLAS H A…

Worker: Ok and now I need your SSN, DOB, and Address.

(He provides the information)

Worker: Ok I have the following dates open, which day would you like.

Him: April 8, 2015

Worker: Ok, great I have a 10 am or a 2 pm, which time would you like?

Him: I’ll take the 2 pm.

Worker: Ok, I’ll send you a confirmation email, with the date, time, and address of the testing center. What is your email address?

(He provides the email address.)

Worker: (With very strong accent still.) Ok great I have N as in Nut, I as in ice, C as in cat, H as in hot, A as in atom, R as in robot.

Him: Sorry no, it should be [email protected](site)

Worker: Ok, I’ll update that. Have a great day.

(He hangs up, and tells me hours later that he barely understood the guy. He also tells me that he was confused by the choices used in the N as in part. I laugh and tell him that I would have likely faired better as I’m great with accents, and I know the phonetic/military alphabet well. We’re still laughing about when my boyfriend gasps and says OH NO!!!! I was that Guy!

I say, what do you mean?

He says, I was struggling so much to understand him, that I thought he was trying to spell my name not my nickname used for the email address, and I totally gave him the wrong email!

I laughed and told him I was posting this on Not Always Right!)

To the poor person who had to take that call, I’m sorry you had to deal with that! I hope the next call you get is much smoother!

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