You’ve Fallen For One Of The Classic Blunders

, , , , , | Working | May 3, 2021

I work for an insurance company. I’m on vacation, enjoying myself and relaxing, when I suddenly receive a text message. It is from my direct supervisor.

Supervisor: “YOU’RE FIRED!”

This particular supervisor has hated me from the day she started working with me. I’m initially puzzled and furious that she’d fire me via text without any reasoning behind it, much less wait until I’m on vacation to do so. I’m about to reply asking why I was fired when I notice something.

She sent me that text message in a group conversation. With my boss.

A few moments later, another message appears in the conversation.

Boss: “[Supervisor], come to my office. Right now, please. [My Name], I’m sorry about that. You’re not fired.”

I ended up getting a few laughs out of a moment that nearly ruined my vacation. When I returned to work five days later, my supervisor was nowhere in sight and her formerly-cluttered desk was now completely empty.

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He Lost The Chair Stare

, , , | Right | April 5, 2021

A customer is looking at the desk chairs, and after trying out a few, he finds one he likes.

Customer: “I’ll take it!”

He starts to push it towards the front. I follow, as it’s one of several display models, but my boss is fine with the floor models being sold if customers want them. We get to the front, but rather than stopping at the desk, the man keeps walking toward the door with the chair.

Me: “Sir, you are going to have to pay for that.”

He turns to look at me and lets out a really fake-sounding laugh.

Customer: “Oh, I’m just going to take it for a test drive and see how it looks at home.”

I’m not sure if he is joking or not.

Me: *With a chuckle* “I’m sorry, we don’t offer that service.”

He stared at me for a little bit before pushing the chair over to my desk, and then he turned and walked out. I put it back, wondering what kind of store he shops at that actually lets you take things home without paying for them.

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Should’ve Gone With Lime Green Instead Of Bright Orange

, , , , , | Right | March 19, 2021

I used to bartend at a small dive in a small town. Not long after I started, we stopped accepting credit cards and went cash-only, mostly due to the number of people who would run up large tabs and then leave without paying; the card they left behind would get declined or they would report it stolen the next day and dispute the charge.

At the time, the bar didn’t have security cameras, so we couldn’t prove that the person had actually been the one using their card, even though we were supposed to check ID for credit cards if we didn’t know the person by name already. By state law, we are supposed to check ID for every person entering the premises anyway, even if they are obviously well over twenty-one.

For as long as I worked there, people would periodically act surprised, upset, and sometimes angry about the fact that we didn’t accept cards, even though we had put prominent, bright orange signs up on the front door and on the coolers behind the bar where they were clearly visible, and installed an ATM for convenience. 

One day, a man decides to yell at me for telling him that we only accept payment in cash.

Man: “You have to take my card because you don’t have any signs posted that say you’re cash-only!”

I just stare at him for a second and then point at the sign on the cooler, approximately one foot away from my head, at eye-level, stating, “CASH ONLY,” in four-inch-high lettering.

Me: “There’s a sign on that cooler, too, and another on the front door. We have an ATM over there under the yellow neon sign if you’d like to use it, or there’s a [Bank #1] branch on the corner just that way, and a [Bank #2] branch on the next corner that way.”

I pointed to indicate the direction of each bank. The man angrily opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to argue, apparently decided there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t make him look like even more of an idiot, and left without another word.

I never saw him again. He wasn’t the worst customer I ever had to deal with, by far, but he sure stands out among the stupidest!

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Once Was Lost-And-Found But Now Can See

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2021

We have a smallish sunglass display on the front counter directly in front of the cash register. It’s in a spot where almost every customer looks at the sunglasses and tries some on when they are being checked out.

On a Monday morning, I get a phone call.

Me: “Good morning, [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was in there on Saturday with my daughter and I think she left her glasses there. They were a very expensive pair, her first ones, and I need you to check and see if they are there before I make the hour drive from [City that is thirty minutes away] to come and get them.”

Me: “Okay, can I get a description of the glasses from you before I go looking? Are they sunglasses or seeing glasses? What color are they?”

Their tone of voice is already starting to get impatient.

Customer: “They are regular glasses, pink, and squarish.”

Me: “All right, I’m going to place you on hold while I look in our lost and found bin.”

I look in our bin and everywhere else behind the counter that they could have been placed for safekeeping if a customer or employee found them.

Me: “I’m sorry for the wait. I didn’t find any glasses of any type, let alone matching the description you gave me, in our lost and found. They may not have been found and turned in yet. Do you know what areas of the store you spent your time in, or what items you were looking at? I can go and check in those areas to see if the glasses are there.”

Customer: *Now in a very snarky voice* “They are there! I know it. My daughter and her friend were trying on your sunglasses while I was shopping. She took them off and put them on that display. God, why didn’t you look there in the first place?”

I try to stay calm as I don’t like getting spoken down to and will get confrontational in these situations.

Me: “You didn’t tell me they would be in that area of the store before. I’ll put you on hold and check there real quick.”

Customer: “Don’t you dare make me wait on hold again! You keep me on the phone while you look.”

Me: “I can’t get a full view of the sunglasses display and not put the phone down. I have to go around the counter and the phone cord won’t reach all the way around. I’ll just set the phone on the counter without putting you on hold so you can hear the background sounds.”

I put the phone down before I can hear any response from [Customer] and walk around to look closely at all of the glasses on the display. Every single one of the hooks has a pair of our sunglasses on them with no regular glasses in sight.

Me: “There are no regular glasses on our sunglasses display. I can take your name and number and call you if any turn up, or you are welcome to come in and look around for yourself. Are you sure that your daughter left them here and not somewhere else?”

Customer: *Now very angry* “Yes, I’m sure they are in your store on that display! My daughter told me that she left them there. These are $400 glasses we’re talking about. I can’t believe you are so stupid that you can’t find them!”

Me: *Now I’m mad at this lady* “I’m not the stupid one in this conversation. I wasn’t the one who walked out of a store unable to see because I took off my glasses and left them somewhere. Like I said, you are welcome to come down here and look for yourself.”

With that, I hung up the phone and went about my day. I probably shouldn’t have spoken to this customer like that as it was rude, but I didn’t get into any trouble with my boss as this store was a small business and the lady who owned it took less s*** from people than I did. My boss was completely okay with us standing up for ourselves when it came to mean customers. 

Within forty minutes of the end of the phone call, the lady drove back to our store, pulled into the parking stall right up front where I could see her fully from the front counter, and sent her daughter who lost the glasses inside to get them.

The daughter had to reach inside the hollow display and pull her glasses out from the center of it — a spot that I don’t think anyone would have thought to look for them unless they had put them there.

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It’s The Principal Of The Thing!

, , , , | Legal | March 3, 2021

Over the holiday weekend, my sister received a strange email claiming to be from the principal of her kids’ school. When she replied, thinking it might be about a project she was working on for the school, the reply was even odder. And the follow-up reply Monday morning was even stranger. She was telling me about it and we had just thought to check if it was the actual email the principal normally uses — it wasn’t — when the next email in the chain asked her to go buy five $100 gift cards, supposedly for the “Chairman” to give to parents at a special meeting he was stuck in.

So we decided to have fun.

First, my sister agreed to buy the cards, but she was more than happy to run the cards to the school.

When the stranger then claimed to be in a meeting elsewhere, she offered to take them there. He claimed there was no time; she would have to send pictures. She agreed and ignored him for half an hour.

When he demanded to know what was taking so long, she told him that there had been a power outage and all the registers were down. She’d have to find another store.

The second store was also affected by the outage.

At the third store, my sister was in a fender-bender when someone backed out into her and she had to wait for the police.

Finally, about an hour later, she got the cards. But her phone died — it actually did! — so she had to charge it for a bit.

While all this was going on, I was having fun. I know just a little bit of graphic design — just enough to take a picture of the back of a gift card, “scratch it,” and add my own text. It was obviously fake if you looked closely at it, but on a phone at first glance, it could pass.

My sister told him she was sending the first picture, expecting that he would get the message. We were shocked when, a few minutes later, he asked about the other four cards and we had to admit defeat and ghost him.

The code I had put on the card? 1D10T 3104558 — put the second part in a calculator and turn it upside down.

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