O Holy Donut

, , , , , , , | Friendly | January 22, 2020

I’m the dumb one in this story. My baby had some breathing trouble and was hospitalized for a month and a half prior to surgery. One of the times I was staying overnight, a respiratory therapist I hadn’t met before came in to check the settings on the oxygen. I saw she had a cursive font tattoo on her arm. Confused, I asked,

“Does your tattoo say, ‘Thy will be donut’?” 

The therapist showed me her arm and said, “No, it says, ‘Thy will be done’.” What I had taken as “donut” was the word “done” with a cross after it.

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Will Have To Put A Freeze On Your Day Off

, , , , | Working | January 13, 2020

(I’m the only pregnant employee on staff currently but happen to have worked there for nearly seven years. I work in the grocery section of the store primarily but know a great deal about other departments especially involving maintenance. Defrosting the freezers takes an hour of defrosting plus the time for the removal of the food and shelving, getting a hose and hot water hooked up, and then cleaning it all up and putting it all back together. It’s a two-person job — one for the actual defrosting and one to run a shop vac to the drain and back to the freezer to remove the water as the hot water melts the ice. Each section of the freezer has to be done about once every five to eight months depending on how healthy the cooling units are.)

Me: “Hey, these frozen doors are getting warmer. You might want to defrost them before it gets critical.”

Freezer Department: “Yeah, I was gonna see how it looked tomorrow—” *Friday* “—and do it then.”

(Friday comes:)

Boss: “Hey! Can you come in and defrost the freezers? The freezer department started it but had to be someplace.”

Me: “If I don’t do it on my day off I’m gonna have to do it the morning of our busiest day of the week—” *Saturday* “—aren’t I?”

Boss: “Probably…”

Me: “I’ll be right in.”

(And that is why I make several dollars more than the entry-level employees.)

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Unfiltered Story #181159

, , | Unfiltered | December 28, 2019

I am obviously talking on the phone with a customer when another customer walks up to me and asks if I was on the phone. Amazed by the questioned I slowly nodded my head as he stood staring blankly back at me. I looked back at my computer screen and it took him a few seconds to walk away.

Some people are just dumb.

Generation Sex

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 19, 2019

(For context, I’m a 26-year-old woman, and I guess I look somewhat young for my age. I’ve had people confuse me for a teenager in the past. This is something that I generally joke about being a good thing that I’ll love once I’m older. My boyfriend and I have just had a condom break on us, and even though I’m on birth control, we decide that the smart move is to drive over to the pharmacy to pick up a morning-after pill. Neither one of us is remotely ready to have children and we figure it is better to be safe than sorry, so we want to exercise all available precautions. Once at the pharmacy, my boyfriend leaves me to wait in line behind a middle-aged woman while he goes in search of a new box of condoms. He has become so paranoid about this situation that he has thrown out the box that the broken condom came in and wants to replace it with a new one. The lady in front of me finishes dropping of her prescription and sits down in some chairs nearby to wait for it to be filled.)

Me: *to the pharmacy worker* “Can I get the morning after pill, please?”

Employee: “We have two options: [Name Brand] or [Generic Brand]. They are equally effective; the [Generic Brand] is just $20.00 cheaper.”

(The middle-aged woman humphs heavily behind me as I indicate that I’ll go with [Generic Brand]. I ignore the lady and proceed to pay for my medication.)

Middle-Aged Woman: “That’s the problem with today’s youth. None of you are responsible because your parents didn’t raise you with any values. Now you’re racing to give yourself a miscarriage because you don’t want to face the consequences of your actions. You shouldn’t be allowed to buy that without your parents’ consent.”

Me: “That’s not how this medication works. Do your research before you open your mouth so you don’t sound so stupid and ignorant. I’m a 26-year-old adult and don’t need my parents’ consent, let alone yours, to take care of my body the way I see best. It’s your generation and not mine that’s fluffed up. It is because of people like you that women are afraid to speak up about their bodies, learn about their bodies, and seek help when they think something is wrong. There is no shame in my choice to look out for my body in this way and no stranger in a random pharmacy is going to change my mind.”

Middle-Aged Woman: “Well, I never! You are so disrespectful talking to me like that.”

Me: “You chose to enter into a conversation with a stranger in a rude and condescending manner. You should not be surprised when the same type of response is thrown back in your face.”

(I thanked the pharmacy worker and walked off to find my boyfriend so we could buy the rest of the things we needed.)

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Koi-nspiracy Theory

, , , , | Right | December 17, 2019

I work at an outdoor store, where we have a koi pond. You can pay 25¢ for a handful of fish food to feed them. One day while walking past the pond, I hear a man complaining loudly and angrily to his family.

“You know those aren’t even real fish in there! Trout don’t ever get that big! It’s actually an optical illusion. And the stupidest part is people still let their kids pay money to throw food in there. It’s all just a scam! “

I should have thanked him for giving my coworkers and me something to chuckle over all day. Definitely the best conspiracy theory I have heard in a long time.

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