Not Properly Monitoring The Situation, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I’m working as an IT specialist for a medium-sized company. We receive new computer monitors and I’m swapping out any that are too old or mismatched.

Me: “I’m here to swap out your monitors.”

Agent: “Okay. Wait a second. Give me a minute to transfer my pictures.”

Me: “Um… your pictures will still be there once I’m finished.”

Agent: “How do you know what pictures I want saved?”

Me: “Because the pictures that display on your monitor are saved on your computer.”

Agent: *Facepalms* “Please don’t tell anyone how dumb I am.”

Me: “No promises.”

Not Properly Monitoring The Situation

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Charity And Tolerance Aren’t Working Today

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I’m at the register, taking orders, all masked up, as usual. This fine lady waltzes in without a mask at all, so her fine face is on full public display.

Me: “I beg your pardon, ma’am; where’s your mask?”

Customer: “I don’t have one. Do you have a spare one?”

Me: “No, we don’t. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, can I place an order, anyway?”

Cue my manager. 

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t serve you unless you have a mask.”

Customer: “Well, what about charity and tolerance?”

She says this in a rather whiny voice.

Manager: “We can still serve you in the drive-thru.”

Customer: “Can’t I pay for it here and then go through the drive-thru?” 

Manager: “No. Either go through the drive-thru or leave now.”

Customer: “Charity and tolerance! Remember charity and tolerance!”

Luckily, it didn’t escalate into anything serious. She did go through the drive-thru after all, and even then, she kept pulling that “charity and tolerance” card on us. Both my manager and I couldn’t stop rolling our eyes at each other.

Sure, lady, we’ll be REAL generous with the germs. We’re only wearing these masks for pure fashion.

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The Water’s Free And Somewhat Lucrative

, , , , , | Working | February 9, 2021

My boss is really cute and funny. Every so often, she gives us a little friendly competition to boost sales and morale at the same time. For instance, she’ll promise you a free lunch, dessert and all, if you make so many sales in one shift, or a small cash prize if you sell so many loaves of bread by the end of the month.

I have a tendency to repeat myself an awful lot. Being a cashier, that’s all part of the job. But one day, during a quick break, my boss mentions just how often I repeat certain phrases a day.

In this case, I tell customers who ask for water to drink, “Water’s free!”

Boss: “How many times do you think you say that in your whole shift? Go ahead, guess!”

Me: “Oh, I dunno… Thirty or so?”

Boss: *Teasingly* “Okay, thirty. Listen, I’ll make you a little bet. If you can say, ‘Water’s free,’ sixty times tomorrow, I’ll give you ten dollars!”

So, the very next day, when my shift begins, I get a little slip of paper, keep a pen close by, and tally the number of times I say that phrase.

Luckily for me, we have a HUGE turnout, with Thanksgiving just around the corner and people placing orders for our pies, breads, and cheesecakes like crazy. And, of course, there are the standard “take your friends/family out for breakfast/lunch” customers, as well.

At least half of them ask for water, and I’ll confess I milk it a little, but I make sure to mark down every single time I say those words out loud. After all, there is no rule that I can only say, “Free water,” once to a customer, or to only one customer in a large group!

The end result? Sixty-nine!

At the end of my shift, I present my special paper to my boss. She is a bit surprised at first, and then she bursts out laughing.

Boss: “Wow, I didn’t expect you to take this bet seriously! But a deal’s a deal.” 

And she handed the ten dollars right over!

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Two Conversations For The Price Of One

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

I work in IT and am trying to assist a user with a password reset. I’ve gotten the password generated and am starting to spell it out for her, giving her the letters phonetically, when I hear a loud crashing in the background, followed by her dog barking up a storm.

At first, I ignore it and try to continue giving her the password, but I quickly realize she isn’t even paying attention, because she’s started having a conversation with the delivery guy at the door!

She hasn’t said anything to me or asked me to wait or anything, just had a conversation with a delivery service while on the phone with me.

Pretty sure the phone was at her ear the entire time, too.

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His Frustration Level Is Rising…

, , , , | Healthy | January 29, 2021

It’s a couple of days before New Year’s, and our pharmacy has a ton of requests to doctors from everyone trying to get their prescriptions refilled before the new year starts. My coworker is telling us about a phone call she’s just had with a patient.

Coworker #1: “Oh, man, he was mad. He wanted a refill and the prescription is expired. We’ve already sent three or four requests to the doctor, but they haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what else he wanted me to do! I can’t make your doctor refill your [medication for erectile dysfunction]!”

Coworker #2: “I guess his year isn’t going out with a bang!”

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