Even Siri Facepalmed

, , , , | Working | October 11, 2018

(We hit an unusual drought. After a month, we finally get a little bit of rain. It’s been drizzling for about half an hour, when I overhear two coworkers talking to each other.)

Coworker #1: “I wonder if it already started raining.”

Coworker #2: “You can look on the weather app to see!”

(I turned to the window, looking at the wet streets and falling rain. I decided not to butt into their conversation.)

Finding Fraudulent Uses For Their 3-Iron

, , , , , | Legal | October 9, 2018

(Our town is hit by a tornado, along with two other towns. This incident takes place the day after. My husband and I are walking through the streets with a chainsaw helping to cut and move fallen trees where needed, to clear roads for emergency crews and traffic, and to clear driveways so people who still have undamaged cars can get them out. It’s been a long, slow process and we’ve been at it for several hours, starting about eight am. We stop so we can grab some water from our backpacks, and we witness two people up the block hitting the side of their car with a golf club. There does not appear to be any other damage on the car apart from what they are doing.)

Husband: *sounding confused* “What is she doing?”

Me: “Probably going to try to scam her insurance for a new car.”

Husband: “Think she has actually looked at some of the other storm damaged cars?”

Me: “Probably not, or she wouldn’t be hitting the side of the car that is currently facing her perfectly undamaged house. Sadly, even though the damage is going to obviously look like it’s intentional, by the time her claims adjuster gets to her, they are probably just going to give in and not argue with her so they can get things done and move on to others.”

(The people looked around at this time and saw us standing there watching them. They immediately put the golf club in the garage and went back in the house. While there were thankfully no fatalities and only minor injuries from the storm, these frauds made me sick. I thought about the people displaced until they could get their houses tested for soundness so they could start repairs, and the handful of people who lost their houses entirely, along with the people with totaled cars. We do have relief efforts out here, along with every conceivable insurance company, but it’s going to be a long road, and we have just barely begun. I hope those people got what they deserve.)

You Can’t Snow In Kind Gestures

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 15, 2018

(When I am in high school, my mom and I live in an apartment complex for probably two years. One year we have a decent snow storm; it isn’t bad, but it leaves about three feet of snow around the car. Our shovel has broken, and since winter is almost over and we have little money, we had decided to take our chances and not buy a shovel. So, at ten am after the storm, I wake up and go out with the balcony broom — a broom we keep outside to sweep leaves and such off our little balcony — and try to unbury the car. I work for a good hour, and get about half the front cleared away, when a plow comes in to get what is left over. I don’t know if he doesn’t notice the high schooler with a broom trying to move the snow, doesn’t care, or doesn’t have any room not to, but he literally plows an entire parking lot of snow in front of the car and partially onto the hood. I stand and stare at the pile, defeated, and watch the plow drive off. I sigh and start trying to move the snow again, this time pushing it and literally digging with my hands, when a guy a few cars down notices.)

Guy: “Did that plow just push all that snow in front of your car?”

Me: “Yeah… unfortunately for me.”

Guy: “And you’re sweeping it?”

Me: “I don’t have a shovel; this was the only thing I thought might work.”

Guy: “How long have you been out here?”

Me: “Probably an hour; I started around ten.”

(He watches me sweep a little, and then runs to his car. I don’t pay attention to what he is doing, but a moment later I notice a shovel moving some snow.)

Guy: “I only have one shovel, but I’ll do what I can real quick; I’m a little early for work.”

(It’s been probably six years since this happened, but I still remember it. If you ever read this, thank you. I really appreciated the help, and I don’t know if you ever knew how much the little act meant to me. I hope you weren’t late, since you stayed and helped dig out most the car. I know I probably looked ridiculous and pathetic sweeping snow, but at least we both got a good story.)

That Snow Reason To Cancel

, , , , | Right | August 16, 2018

(I work at a hotel up in the mountains of Idaho. We get a lot of snow, to the point it still snows during the summer. We have a fifteen-day cancellation policy.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to cancel my reservation for next week.”

(I explain the policy, and tell her that we will keep the deposit which is equal to the room rate.)

Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I would like to talk to a supervisor. I’m canceling because there is snow up there.”

Me: “I’m sorry? You’re canceling because of snow? It is the middle of December.”

Customer: “Get me your supervisor.”

(I put her on hold and explain it to my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Wait, she wants to cancel because we have snow?”

Me: “Yes. Why was she coming to the mountains in winter in the first place?”

(The customer didn’t end up canceling. Where did she think she was going? She only lived two hours away.)

Take It Or Leave It

, , , , , | Friendly | August 15, 2018

(I go to a salon appointment in a very popular shopping center. By the time I leave, the parking lot is absolutely packed and it’s raining hard. I get into my car; luckily I parked very close by as it wasn’t packed at all when I arrived. I start up my GPS, but it’s a very old model that takes minutes to start up, sometimes longer. I hear some honking but I ignore it. Suddenly there is a rapping on my window and a woman is standing there. I lower my window.)

Me: “Hello, can I help—”

Woman: “Aren’t you leaving?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “I saw you get into your car; we’ve been sitting here waiting for you to leave.”

Me: “Yes, I’m about to leave; I’m just—”

Woman: “Well, leave already!”

(She stormed off and got back into her car, and the honking started again. My GPS came on moments later, but suddenly I wasn’t in so much of a rush to get home. I waited until she drove away.)