Unfiltered Story #192960

, | Unfiltered | April 30, 2020

Hello, thank you for calling *isp*, how can I help you?
Cust. “I need the login info for my modem.”
Well, I’ll be happy to help you with that. Can I ask why you’re wanting to access your modem? (I just thought it was a strange request, as most people tell me what they’re trying to do before asking for this info)
Cust. “S.O.Q.”
I’m sorry? I’m not sure I know what you mean?
Cust. “My pings are taking too long so I’m going to try piggy backing some routers.”
Oh… Okay… Well, unless you’ve changed it, your login info will actually be listed on your modem. Looking at your account, I’m actually seeing it’s been suspended.
Cust. “Okay”
Your account has been suspended due to a billing issue. This means that accessing your firmware or adding equipment will not affect your speed or service, as you won’t have any services until the billing issue is handled.
Cust. “Okay, well, I’m still gong to try. “

USB-B For IE From The ISP

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2020

We provide a cable Internet network in a nearby housing complex. Many residents run a cable to their home but then move on, leaving the cable available for the next resident via a company-branded network port on the wall.

A new resident contacts us, saying she had plugged her computer into the network port we provided to the previous resident, but IE can’t display the page. (Clue one: “Is my browser that thing with the E on it?”)

I send my assistant over to see what the problem is, as I can’t see a physical connection to her unit on our router through that network port.

Not five minutes later, he’s back. She has a USB printer cable plugged into her computer, with the USB-B side in the network port in the wall!

It is the same basic shape, I guess.

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Year Of The Modem

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2020

(I work customer support for a fairly major national ISP. When you cancel your subscription we require the modem and other equipment to be sent back, and if you don’t, we charge a fee. The following exchange has been going on for two months now via Webcare.)

Customer: “I have been charged €300, but I cancelled my subscription. Why are you stealing my money?”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that, ma’am. Please give me your customer information and I will look it up immediately.”

(The customer hands over their details.)

Me: “Ma’am, it appears you have not returned the hardware, despite repeated reminders. As such, we have imposed a fee.”

Customer: “I didn’t know it had to be sent back.”

Me: “It says so in our terms of service and also in the cancellation confirmation.”

Customer: “Well, I’m in [Other Country]. Can’t I just hand it off at [Loosely Affiliated Other Company owned by our parent company]?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that is not possible. You really will have to send it to us directly.”

Customer: “I will be back in a year; I will just send it back then.”

Me: “You can do that; however, until the equipment is returned, we will charge the fee and if you do not pay it, there will be additional costs incurred. If you pay the fee now and send the equipment back in a year we will refund the fee once we receive it.”

Customer: “You are stealing my money! This stuff isn’t even worth that much. Don’t you dare impose the fee.”

(This exchange goes on for two months as company policy requires us to keep engaging customers.)

Me: “Look, ma’am. You didn’t return the equipment. You agreed to return it. A fee has been imposed as you didn’t return it. You can either return it or pay the fee. If you do not, the company will bring it to court and you will have to pay a lot more.”

(I’ve had no response for the past few days. Hopefully, she finally got the message.)

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Unfiltered Story #186944

, , | Unfiltered | February 21, 2020

(I’m a line technician at this ISP, meaning I only check the customers’ telephone/DSL line when they have an issue with their Internet or telephone. Should everything be alright there, I must transfer the customer to a device technician, if they have a house brand router, or to refer them to the manufacturer or an IT specialist, if they don’t. This customer gets through to me at 9:15 a.m and is my first call for the day. At this point I have only worked for the ISP for a couple of months and I’m still rather insecure, but all customers up to this point have been quite polite, despite their various issues. Also, I’m female.)

Me: Good morning, you’ve reached the technical service of (ISP), my name is (Name). How can I help you?

Caller: Hello, I need help with my Internet. It’s not working.

Me: I’ll do my best to assist you with that. Can I have your phone number and your name for identification purposes, please?

(Caller tells me the number, the name and confirms he is the actual customer. I start making some tests immediately.)

Me: Sir, your line appears OK, you have connection at this moment. Does it break off from time to time?

Caller: No, it stays stable, but it’s way too slow!

(I’m double-checking his product, which he booked and received about a week ago: it’s a bandwidth upgrade, which has increased his speed from 16 Mbps to 50 Mbps.)

Me: I see you’ve upgraded to 50 Mbps recently. This speed can’t be constant, but fluctuations between 40 and 50 are norm-

Caller: You don’t get it! Every d*** speedtest I take shows me only 16 Mbps! You idiots haven’t upgraded me at all! You’ve only increased the price I pay you. I demand a refund for all and a change to my previous speed, at least then I pay for what I get only!

Me: Sir, I just checked your connection. My results are 51,39 Mbps in download, which means this is what your router gets right now. If you get less on your computer, you have to check your router first, because this could mean your device can’t transfer the signal properly!

Caller: Bull****! What does a woman know about it anyway! Do what I told you to do and stop trying to leech more money off me! I’m a lawyer! I know what I’m doing, you don’t!

Me *already stressed because he’s yelling pretty loudly* : Sir, if you could just allow me to transfer you, you get a new device for free-

Caller: No, No, NO! You all love to cheat and lie to your customers, I know that! Now do what I told you to do, you worthless piece of ***, or I’ll drag you to court personally! *click*

(I’m just staying there speechless and trembling with rage, because not only he insulted me and threatened me, I also can’t possibly do what he asks of me. Since it was still morning and next to no calls were coming in, two of my coworkers help me calm down and get me the coffee I haven’t had a chance to drink yet. After I’m well enough, I turn to the issue at hand again)

Me: What do I do with this idiot now? His issue is as easy as f***, if he would only listen to me and let me get him a device technician to replace his router. I can’t possibly change his product, we’re not sales here.

Supervisor: Tell you what. Let him get his inferior speed if that’s what he wants, pretty soon his router will die on him if it’s making this kind of problems now. Write a note to sales in their system and explain everything in there, so that they can see what they can do to change his product. And nobody’s dragging you to court.

(I wrote a lengthy note to sales, describing everything the rude customer had said plus the fact he didn’t listen to me explaining about his faulty router. No idea if they changed his product, but in any case, he was in for a nasty surprise.)

Unfiltered Story #186499

, | Unfiltered | February 11, 2020

(I’m a second level in-house technician for the largest ISP in Germany. Usually when I get a call I first talk to one of the first-level colleagues who explain the situation and then transfer the customer. It’s the beginning of August and we have temperatures of about 38°C for days now. Due to this I’m not feeling all too well and I drink water and coke to keep my BP from collapsing. Aside from that I have a minor migraine, which doesn’t prevent me from taking calls though. Then this happens.)
First level coworker: Hi, are you second level? Can you take a look at this customer’s line? My system tells me we’re having an outage in her area, but I can’t see more details.
Me: Sure, I’ll check that *knowing that first level technicians don’t have access to all tools*
Me (to customer): Hello, this is (My name) –
Customer (cuts me out in a very heavy Northern dialect): Yeah, I don’t need any of your bla bla bla right now. I’m so p***** at all of you! You are all so incompetent that you can’t fix my problem and now I can’t do my stuff because of your worthless bunch of idiots!
Me (a bit stressed out and lightheaded, but still calm): Ma’am, I can understand you’re not happy, can you please-
Customer (cuts me off again): No, you don’t understand, because you’re stupid, you miserable b****, you and your lot only take money from me without doing anything, I’ve had enough of you! *proceeds to scream profanities that should mean I’m personally responsible for everything in her life that ever went wrong, without telling me her actual problem or letting me explain the outage*
(At this point I’m already stressed out and suddenly my BP goes crazy and I stop seeing my screen, instead I get flashes of red and black in front of my eyes which can’t mean anything good)
Me: Ma’am, I want to help you, but only if you speak like a normal person, otherwise I’m terminating this call! (we are allowed to hang up if customers are abusive)
Customer: You WHAT? You stupid TW**, who do you think you are!
Me: *click*

(After that I just stay there shaking. My coworker on the next PC suddenly exclaims that I’m all read and the only thing I can repeat for several minutes is that I’m not okay. They take me to a small empty office where my team leader measures my BP, and surprise surprise, instead of going low as it usually happens to me in high summer, it’s critically high. I almost ended up in a hospital because of this shrieking woman! Thankfully it dropped a bit, after that my boyfriend came to pick me up with a huge bottle of icy lemon water, and ever since I’m not even required to warn abusive customers before hanging up on them.)