There Is Snow Way You’re Going

, , , , , , | Learning | April 4, 2018

My teacher for Intro to Bioscience Technologies has scheduled a field trip to Genentech for his two classes in December, which my class is very excited about. But on the week of the field trip, the teacher finds out there’s only space for 40 students. He decides to let the other class period go, and reschedules mine.

Fast forward two months. The field trip is finally happening. The morning of, I wake up and look outside to see several inches of snow and ice. School ends up being cancelled, and the field trip is again rescheduled.

A month later, it’s March, and the teacher looks up the weather forecast. The weather has been perfectly pleasant for months, so we’re not really worried, even though there’s a chance of snow on Friday.

Friday morning, I wake up and see… snow. Lots of it. I check the school website, and it’s not cancelled. I live in a rural area at a high elevation, so I often get snow when most students don’t, so I have to miss school… again… on the third rescheduling of the field trip I was looking forward to. The class goes without me.

I think the universe really didn’t want me to have that field trip.

That Snow Way To Behave

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 29, 2018

When enough snow accumulates on the ground, there’s an unspoken rule for parking: don’t steal a shoveled space. Someone else did the hard work, and even went to the trouble of digging out a lawn chair, cone, or trash barrel to tell the world it’s saved. While some people are kind about giving up their spaces, this is only acceptable if you ask first.

After one particular snow storm when I was 16, my parents, my uncle, and I got out and shoveled. After spending roughly two hours digging out the cars and clearing the sidewalk and walkway, my uncle — who lived with us — and my mother were free to head to work. While my mother’s car was parked on a paved portion of our property, my uncle’s was parked on the street, because we only had two parking spaces and my dad had his own car. So, to protect the spot, I dug out our trash barrels and placed one into the spot as soon as my uncle pulled out.

With school cancelled and my dad retired, he and I went back inside to rest up before we had to go back out and tackle more snow. We only rested about an hour, but the snow was coming down pretty hard that day. When we got outside to check for ice, I saw our barrel perched atop a mountain of snow in our front yard. Already having a sneaking suspicion, I circled around the pile to confirm it: someone tossed our barrel out of the way and swiped the spot.

I know plenty of people who would slash tires, smash windshields, and find other ways to vandalize the car, and a few others who would be waiting around the car with a few friends. I took a more civilized approach. After tossing the barrel into my backyard, I began deconstructing the mountain in my front yard and used it to bury the spot again, car and all. I didn’t stop until the snow was as high as it was when the four of us found it that morning.

If this person wanted this spot so badly, then they could do the work for it.

Castration Frustration

, , , , | Romantic | March 22, 2018

(My husband has a YouTube playlist running, and the current song is by a singer with a surprisingly high vocal range. At this point, Ireland and Britain are in for a few days of serious snow and minus zero temperatures.)

Husband: “You know, if he didn’t have a wife and child, I’d say he was castrated.”

Me: “What does being castrated have to do with having a wife?”

Husband: *to daughter, pointing out the window* “Look! Snow!”

Me: “Nice deflection, dear.”

(It was snowing, but the timing was perfect…)

Always Take The Weather With You Somewhere Else

, , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(I work for a major hotel chain in their reservation center.)

Me: “Good evening. This is [My Name] and I will be assisting you with your reservation.”

Caller: “Can you tell me what the weather will be like next week in [City 1000 miles away]?”

Me: “Sir, this the Global Reservation Center for [Hotel]. I suggest you look up the forecast via a weather website.”

Caller: “Can you look it up for me?”

Me: “I can, but you will be on hold for the next few minutes.”

Caller: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *click*

There Snow Problem Like Snow Problems

, , , , , | Related | March 15, 2018

(My mother is very easily agitated and complains at length about mundane things. This conversation occurs a few days after we have had a major snowstorm. No one was injured, but my mother has been ranting for a half an hour — no exaggeration — about how the grocery store was crowded before the storm, and about how she and her neighbors had to shovel the snow afterward. I had the same experience — crowded store and a lot of shoveling — but I took it in stride. She finally breaks her tirade to ask me:)

Mom: “So, how about you? How are you doing?”

Me: “I’m doing fine.”

Mom: “HOW ARE YOU DOING FINE WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE IS PASSING OUT IN THE SNOW?!”

(I was tempted to ask her to name one person who passed out in the snow, but she had already gone back to complaining.)

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