(I’m a CNA at a local nursing home. I take care of one elderly gentleman in particular that I’ve developed a very good relationship with. He calls me “Sunshine” because of my sunny demeanor, very blonde hair, and love for yellow scrubs. I am chatting with him one evening when this exchange happens:)

Me: *telling a story* “And my friend said, [My Name], what did you do now?”

Resident: *looks confused* “Sunshine, who is [My Name]?”

Me: *laughing* “[Resident], I’m [My Name].”

Resident: *pondering this for a moment…* “No, you’re not. You’re Sunshine! End of story!”

(It made my day!)

This story is part of the Struggles With Names roundup!

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(I pull up to a red light next to a police officer.)

Officer: “You want to race to the next light?”

Me: *surprised* “Sure!”

(I won! No, I didn’t get pulled over; we were both on bicycles. Possibly the first and only time a police officer has challenged someone to a road race.)

(I work at my campus library. This girl comes in at five, and I see her log into a computer and print a document. She then comes back in at nine, distressed.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Student: “I can’t log on. I lost my password. Can you give me my password?”

Me: “I am sorry, but the library doesn’t give out passwords. I can log you in as a guest, if you like. Otherwise, I would check with Student Help Desk, since they are in charge of accounts.”

Student: “No! I want my password. Why can’t I get it?”

Me: “I do apologize, but our system doesn’t tell us student passwords. Those are handled by the Student Help Desk. You would have to go there for assistance. I can log you in on a guest account, but I cannot retrieve individual passwords.”

Student: “Where are they located? What are their hours?”

Me: “They are located in the science building. Here are their hours.”

(I hand her a sheet with their listed hours.)

Student: “They are closed at nine! They aren’t even open now. Can you go over there and open it for me?”

Me: “I am sorry, but I didn’t make their hours, and I do not work for them. You could always check with them tomorrow.”

Student: *glares* “That’s so stupid. If they are closed, why can’t you just go over and open it for me?! Now I can’t print my paper!” *storms out*

(I am volunteering as a parking and security attendant for an event. One of the parking and security coordinators has the first name Kirk, and the other is a 6’5” redhead. Thus, their call-signs on radio are “Captain Kirk” and “Big Red.” I’m having a conversation with a patron about where to park their car. Apparently, I have knocked my radio’s volume control, and it is now up full-blast. So, in the middle of the conversation, my radio goes off very loudly.)

Radio: “Captain Kirk to Big Red!”

Radio: “This is Big Red.”

Radio: “I’ve got a situation. Meet me at the east entrance port-a-potties.”

Radio: “Copy that, Captain Kirk.”

(The visitor looked at me for a moment, before just bursting out laughing.)

(I work at a place that is well-known for its bridal registries. In order to find the registry, I have to know the full — first and last — name of the registrant, with correct spelling.)

Me: “What’s the last name of the bride or groom?”

Customer: “[Common Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, what’s the first name?”

Customer: “Robin.”

Me: “Robin with an I or with a Y?”

Customer: *looks as me as if I’m stupid for a moment* “With an I!”

(I look up the name, but as it’s a nationwide database going back ten years, it’s not uncommon to have a dozen or even more than a hundred brides with the same name.)

Me: “What’s the wedding date?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “Some time in September!”

(That still leaves two registries. Instead of asking more questions, I quickly look up their locations. If one of them is local, it’s probably the right one. Neither is.)

Me: “Okay, is Robin getting married in New York or Nevada?”

Customer: “Neither! She lives here in town and has all her life. I’m her mother’s best friend, so I know that. The wedding is in [Nearby Town]! I don’t understand why this is so hard!”

(I do a little backtracking and try spelling Robin as “Robyn” and then just type in “Rob,” in case her name is really Robbin or something similar. Nothing pops up.)

Me: “Sorry this is taking so long, but I don’t have any Robin [Last Name] getting married here in the metro in September. Do you know the groom’s name?”

Customer: “NO! I know they’re registered here! Just find the registry!”

Me: “I apologize, but I am not having any luck with this search. Just double-checking, her name is R-O-B-I-N, and her last name is spelled [only spelling of very common Last Name]?”

Customer: “I already told you that!”

Me: “Then I’m sorry, but I can’t help you any further. Either they have not registered, or she’s registered under some other name. Maybe you could call someone and double-check? Sometimes brides register under their married names.”

(The customer walks away in a huff, muttering about bad customer service. Ten minutes later, I am helping another person when the original customer cuts to the front of the line. Wanting to avoid a scene, I finish my customer and gesture to another employee to take over my register so I can help her.)

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Sarah. Sarah [Last Name]. Robin is her mother.”

(I found the registry right away!)