A Bad Case Of Upper Case Lower Case

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

Caller: “Is eight digits okay for my password?”

Me: “Yes, it only has to be six.”

Caller: “Is nine okay?”

Me: “Yes… It only has to be six.”

Caller: “Okay, I used all caps; is that okay?”

Me: “No, there needs to be at least one lower case, and one upper case.”

Caller: “Okay… I used all lowercase. That’s all right, then?”

Me: “No… There needs to be at least one lowercase and at least one uppercase letter.”

Caller: “Okay, but is all lowercase okay?”

Me: “Sir, no… Would you like me to just have a form mailed out to you?”

Not Even Going To Try To Massage The Truth

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(My father decides to buy us both 25-minute massages from a small store in a mall. In the store there is one other couple getting foot massages, and a slew of workers. About ten minutes into his massage, my father passes out because he got overheated. When he wakes up, the workers, the security supervisor of the mall, two mall cops, and I are all standing there waiting for an ambulance to arrive. I then hear the security supervisor talking to the lady getting a foot massage, and although I only hear one side of the conversation, I have a pretty good idea of what is being said.)

Security Supervisor: “What?”

Security Supervisor: “No, I can’t massage your feet.”

Security Supervisor: “I don’t work here.”

Losing The Numbers Game

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I work for a small non-profit that connects people with legal resources. A local hotel accidentally gave out our phone number instead of theirs to a bunch of guests. I have a variation of this phone call about seven times this day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Non-Profit]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is [Non-Profit]. We’re a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: “Are you in need of legal resources?”

Caller: “Of course not! I’m trying to call [Hotel].”

Me: “Well, this isn’t [Hotel]; this is a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: *slams head into desk*

Unfiltered Story #116528

, , | Unfiltered | July 21, 2018

(I work in the marketing department of my store and we’re currently promoting the store credit card we offer by setting up a table with several signs and pamphlets sitting out. I’ve been at the table for 6 hours, have had several people sign up, but most people just want the candy we’ve set out, when an older woman walks up)

Woman: And what are you selling here?
Me: Our [store credit card] that we offer with no annual fee and great-
Woman: (interrupting me) Oh no, I can’t get that, because (drops her voice to a whisper) they’re connected with abortions
(She takes a piece of candy and walks away)

When Life Gives You No Lemons…

, , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(In our store, we make lemonade from scratch — we actually juice real lemons — so when we run out of lemonade, if there is a rush, we can’t make more right away. A couple comes in. The man orders an Arnold Palmer, which is half iced tea, half lemonade. I make it, using the last of the lemonade we have.)

Me: “Here you go! Anything else?”

Man: “Nothing for me. Anything for you, sweetie?”

Woman: “Can I have a raspberry lemonade?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re out of lemonade right now; he got the last of it. Can I get you something else?”

Woman: “Um, how about a plain lemonade?”

Me: “I apologize, but we’re out of lemonade; he got the last of it in his drink.” *points to man’s drink* “Is there anything else you might want?”

Woman: *pondering hard* “Well… do you guys make frozen lemonade, you know, like a slushie?”

Me: “…”

Man: “Oh, my God.”

Woman: “What?”

Man: “They’re out of lemonade!”

Woman: “Well, she could have said something! Geez!”

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