An A-Mall-ing Lack Of Understanding

, , , | Right | February 22, 2019

Customer: “Excuse me. How late are you open?”

Me: “All the shops in this mall are open until 9:30 pm, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, I know that. But how late is this shop open until?”

Unfiltered Story #140411

, , , | Unfiltered | February 17, 2019

(I work at a grill. We don’t really have a vegetarian menu so this customer ordered a grilled cheese. A minute after I bring out their food she flags me down.)

Vegetarian: “I hate to be a bother but there’s um, something in my sandwich.” She shows me: a spider is stuck in the cheese. I’m freaking out, sure we’re going to have a bunch of unhappy customers.

The guy from the table next to hers tries to lean over and see it. He asks “What’s in it?”‘

Vegetarian: “Some kind of meat. I’m a vegetarian. I really hate to ask but could I please have a new one?”

Me: “Of course, I am so sorry. I’ll get that to you right away.” I rush the plate back to the kitchen and show the chef. He goes red and starts yelling at his staff. My manager runs over and demands to know what’s happening. I tell him.

Manager: “Who else saw? We can’t afford to comp more than three..”

Me: “Just her table. She told the other tables it was meat.”

My manager was so grateful he sent over an entire dessert platter and comped their meal. When I told her table their food free they left a $100 tip.

Best table I’ve ever had!

At This Office, If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen

, , , , , | Working | February 11, 2019

(I am overweight. Our office recently moved and clients are coming by to see the new office. I’m giving one such tour and we get to the kitchen.)

Me: “And here’s the kitchen.”

Client: “Oh! Is this your office?”

Me: “No. That’s the kitchen.”

(It turns out, she had seen me cut through there to a different part of the office earlier and assumed that it was my office without really looking or listening to what I said. She was rather embarrassed at having insinuated that the kitchen was the office of the biggest guy there. We had a good laugh about it.)

 

The Bicycle Wheels Of Justice Keep Turning

, , , , , , | Legal | October 11, 2018

My college friend called me one day asking for advice. A few days before, she was hit by a car making a right turn across a crosswalk. My friend was on her bike but had the right of way. At first, the driver didn’t stop, and instead started off down the street before wisely deciding to return to the scene. My friend suffered no injuries, but her bike was badly damaged. A cop was called to the scene to take a report. My friend decided that she didn’t want to press charges as long as the driver paid to repair the bike, my friend’s main method of transport around the city. The cop agreed not to issue a ticket, but gave my friend his contact information and told her to let him know if there was any trouble.

The reason my friend called was that after taking the bike to her local bike shop and getting an estimate on repairs, she called the driver up to arrange payment. The driver didn’t want to pay, claiming she couldn’t afford it. She pleaded with my friend, saying that she just couldn’t do it.

My dad is a lawyer, and often gives free advice to my friends, so she was wondering what suggestions he had. My dad laughed when he told her the story. He knew exactly what to do, and wrote it all down for her in an email to recite when she called the driver back.

She called the woman back and politely told her that the agreement was to pay for the bike repairs in exchange for no ticket or summons being issued. If the driver was now reneging on that agreement, my friend would call the cop who came to the scene and request he issue the summons. The driver would have to pay a fine, and her insurance company would likely raise her rates.

My friend’s bike was repaired within the week.

To this day, my dad can’t believe that driver was so dumb as to try to weasel out of what was literally a gift from my friend of not letting her insurance company know what she did.

A Bad Case Of Upper Case Lower Case

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

Caller: “Is eight digits okay for my password?”

Me: “Yes, it only has to be six.”

Caller: “Is nine okay?”

Me: “Yes… It only has to be six.”

Caller: “Okay, I used all caps; is that okay?”

Me: “No, there needs to be at least one lower case, and one upper case.”

Caller: “Okay… I used all lowercase. That’s all right, then?”

Me: “No… There needs to be at least one lowercase and at least one uppercase letter.”

Caller: “Okay, but is all lowercase okay?”

Me: “Sir, no… Would you like me to just have a form mailed out to you?”

Page 1/612345...Last