Unfiltered Story #116528

, , | Unfiltered | July 21, 2018

(I work in the marketing department of my store and we’re currently promoting the store credit card we offer by setting up a table with several signs and pamphlets sitting out. I’ve been at the table for 6 hours, have had several people sign up, but most people just want the candy we’ve set out, when an older woman walks up)

Woman: And what are you selling here?
Me: Our [store credit card] that we offer with no annual fee and great-
Woman: (interrupting me) Oh no, I can’t get that, because (drops her voice to a whisper) they’re connected with abortions
(She takes a piece of candy and walks away)

When Life Gives You No Lemons…

, , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(In our store, we make lemonade from scratch — we actually juice real lemons — so when we run out of lemonade, if there is a rush, we can’t make more right away. A couple comes in. The man orders an Arnold Palmer, which is half iced tea, half lemonade. I make it, using the last of the lemonade we have.)

Me: “Here you go! Anything else?”

Man: “Nothing for me. Anything for you, sweetie?”

Woman: “Can I have a raspberry lemonade?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re out of lemonade right now; he got the last of it. Can I get you something else?”

Woman: “Um, how about a plain lemonade?”

Me: “I apologize, but we’re out of lemonade; he got the last of it in his drink.” *points to man’s drink* “Is there anything else you might want?”

Woman: *pondering hard* “Well… do you guys make frozen lemonade, you know, like a slushie?”

Me: “…”

Man: “Oh, my God.”

Woman: “What?”

Man: “They’re out of lemonade!”

Woman: “Well, she could have said something! Geez!”

The Merc With The Mouth Versus The Customer With Opinions

, , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(I work in a movie theater. I’m a manager helping on concessions one morning when a man in his 20s or 30s comes in.)

Customer: “What time is Star Wars playing?”

(I give him the times and he starts to leave, then he suddenly comes back up.)

Customer: “I have one more question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Why is Deadpool so violent? It’s so violent, too much!”

(I laugh, thinking he is joking. He stares at me, waiting for an answer.)

Me: “Sir, I didn’t make the movie, I have no control over how much violence they put in it.”

Customer: “So, why is it so violent?”

Me: “I didn’t make the movie… Deadpool is a very over-the-top movie. I personally loved it!”

(The customer glared at me and stormed out the door.)

Pink Zeppelin

, , , , , , | Right | July 4, 2018

(I am checking out at a store. My nine-month-old daughter is in the cart, and like with most children this age, it can be difficult to tell her gender.)

Clerk: “Oh, what a good… girl?”

Me: “Yes, it can be hard to tell at this age, and she is wearing a boyish tee-shirt.”

Clerk: “Pink Floyd! Oh, I just love Stairway to Heaven!

Me: “… “

 

Motorized Thievery

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2018

(I’ve taken a job at a home improvement store doing general floor sales. An understaffed department quickly takes a shine to me and trains me on selling their products.)

Coworker: “And…” *sigh* “…here are the bathroom fans.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Coworker: *picking up an open box* “These are the worst for angry customers and theft. People will come in and insist on just buying the motor. You can tell them again and again that the motor isn’t standard between models and that you can’t just swap the motor. Some will buy the kit then return it when they realize we told them the truth. Some will bring tools into the store and discreetly steal the motor. But every last one of them will argue with you when you tell them you can’t swap it.”

(He shows me the open box, which contains a kit but the motor has been stolen.)

Me: “Oh. What can we do?”

Coworker: “Nothing really. Tell them you can’t just swap it, but if they’re not afraid of a bit of ducting tape, electrical work, and maybe some drywall cutting, it’s fairly simple to install a new kit. We have this book that shows step-by-step instructions; you can try to upsell it with a kit, but it’s not a popular seller.”

Customer: *walks up* “Yo, I need to swap a motor for a bathroom fan. Where do you have just the motors?”

Coworker: *looks to me*

Me: “Hi! I’m glad to help with that. Unfortunately, you can’t swap just the motor, but the kit’s only $12, and it’s a pretty simple project. We even have this handy book that walks you through it.”

Customer: “F*** that. I know you can just swap the motor. I just want the motor.”

Me: “Well, I’m happy to be proven wrong. You’re welcome to buy the kit and try to swap the motor. If it doesn’t work, you can just install the kit, instead.”

Customer: “No. I’m not paying for the full kit. I just need the motor. What don’t you understand?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s my first week. But unfortunately, I’m told we don’t carry just the motors. You can try a different store, if you like.”

Customer: “Whatever.” *walks away*

(Less than an hour later I was making rounds and found another open kit box with the motor stolen. Seriously, you can’t afford $12?)

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