The Bicycle Wheels Of Justice Keep Turning

, , , , , , | Legal | October 11, 2018

My college friend called me one day asking for advice. A few days before, she was hit by a car making a right turn across a crosswalk. My friend was on her bike but had the right of way. At first, the driver didn’t stop, and instead started off down the street before wisely deciding to return to the scene. My friend suffered no injuries, but her bike was badly damaged. A cop was called to the scene to take a report. My friend decided that she didn’t want to press charges as long as the driver paid to repair the bike, my friend’s main method of transport around the city. The cop agreed not to issue a ticket, but gave my friend his contact information and told her to let him know if there was any trouble.

The reason my friend called was that after taking the bike to her local bike shop and getting an estimate on repairs, she called the driver up to arrange payment. The driver didn’t want to pay, claiming she couldn’t afford it. She pleaded with my friend, saying that she just couldn’t do it.

My dad is a lawyer, and often gives free advice to my friends, so she was wondering what suggestions he had. My dad laughed when he told her the story. He knew exactly what to do, and wrote it all down for her in an email to recite when she called the driver back.

She called the woman back and politely told her that the agreement was to pay for the bike repairs in exchange for no ticket or summons being issued. If the driver was now reneging on that agreement, my friend would call the cop who came to the scene and request he issue the summons. The driver would have to pay a fine, and her insurance company would likely raise her rates.

My friend’s bike was repaired within the week.

To this day, my dad can’t believe that driver was so dumb as to try to weasel out of what was literally a gift from my friend of not letting her insurance company know what she did.

A Bad Case Of Upper Case Lower Case

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

Caller: “Is eight digits okay for my password?”

Me: “Yes, it only has to be six.”

Caller: “Is nine okay?”

Me: “Yes… It only has to be six.”

Caller: “Okay, I used all caps; is that okay?”

Me: “No, there needs to be at least one lower case, and one upper case.”

Caller: “Okay… I used all lowercase. That’s all right, then?”

Me: “No… There needs to be at least one lowercase and at least one uppercase letter.”

Caller: “Okay, but is all lowercase okay?”

Me: “Sir, no… Would you like me to just have a form mailed out to you?”

Not Even Going To Try To Massage The Truth

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(My father decides to buy us both 25-minute massages from a small store in a mall. In the store there is one other couple getting foot massages, and a slew of workers. About ten minutes into his massage, my father passes out because he got overheated. When he wakes up, the workers, the security supervisor of the mall, two mall cops, and I are all standing there waiting for an ambulance to arrive. I then hear the security supervisor talking to the lady getting a foot massage, and although I only hear one side of the conversation, I have a pretty good idea of what is being said.)

Security Supervisor: “What?”

Security Supervisor: “No, I can’t massage your feet.”

Security Supervisor: “I don’t work here.”

Losing The Numbers Game

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I work for a small non-profit that connects people with legal resources. A local hotel accidentally gave out our phone number instead of theirs to a bunch of guests. I have a variation of this phone call about seven times this day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Non-Profit]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is [Non-Profit]. We’re a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: “Are you in need of legal resources?”

Caller: “Of course not! I’m trying to call [Hotel].”

Me: “Well, this isn’t [Hotel]; this is a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: *slams head into desk*

Unfiltered Story #116528

, , | Unfiltered | July 21, 2018

(I work in the marketing department of my store and we’re currently promoting the store credit card we offer by setting up a table with several signs and pamphlets sitting out. I’ve been at the table for 6 hours, have had several people sign up, but most people just want the candy we’ve set out, when an older woman walks up)

Woman: And what are you selling here?
Me: Our [store credit card] that we offer with no annual fee and great-
Woman: (interrupting me) Oh no, I can’t get that, because (drops her voice to a whisper) they’re connected with abortions
(She takes a piece of candy and walks away)

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