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An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 14

, , , , , , | Right | August 21, 2021

I am waiting at the gate to board a flight home after vacation. Between groups, families with small children are allowed to board. This is during a federal mask mandate for all persons two and up flying.

Gate Attendant: “How old is your child?”

Parent: “Two.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m sorry, but she needs a mask; it’s a federal requirement.”

Parent: “We have one in our bag. She has a pacifier.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m sorry, she has to be wearing a mask.”

Parent: “She’s one and a half.”

Gate Attendant: “I won’t be able to allow you to fly. I can get a supervisor—”

Parents: “No other flight has made us do that. It’s ridiculous!”

Gate Attendant: “It’s a federal rule, I’m sorry. You won’t be able to fly if she isn’t wearing a mask.”

The parents protest while angrily putting a mask on their child, doing so in a manner that makes the child start wailing. Finally, it’s my turn to board (masked). 

Me: “Thank you for doing your job.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m just following the rules!”

I felt horribly for her. How hard is it to follow a nationwide federal mandate that has played over the speakers every fifteen minutes? And in what world does a pacifier replace a face mask?!

An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 13
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 12
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 11
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 10
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 9

Will Call You In The Future

, , , , , | Right | June 8, 2021

On the IRS website, you can track the status of your tax return. At our office, we often will do so for clients who call in.

It is the last day of tax season. If the call is not about setting up an appointment or providing details about a return in progress, the policy is to tell them we can’t help them. A woman calls in.

Caller: “I need you to help me look up my refund and when it will arrive.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can’t do this on the last day, but I’ll be more than happy to do so tomorrow.”

Caller: “I already paid you for my taxes, and it’s my money, so you d*** well better look it up for me!”

Me: “I’m afraid we cannot, and we do not have the tools or resources.”

Caller: “Manager.”

Me: “The manager is busy with someone else but I can put you on hold and they will get to you.”

She hangs up before the manager can get to that line forty-five minutes later — we are VERY busy — and calls back an hour after that. I recognize her voice and repeat that we can’t help her get her refund status.

Caller: “How can you even know what I want if I ain’t even told you my name yet?”

Me: “Because I’m psychic.”

Caller: “Well, Mr. Psychic Man, I want you doing my taxes next year.”

Me: “Very well. What’s your name, so I can make sure you get an appointment with me?”

Caller: “You’re the psychic. Figure it out.” *Click*

I laughed about that for a good while after.

Don’t You Hate It When You Become One Of “Them”?

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2021

I am the idiot in this story. I’ve gone to a fast food restaurant late in the evening, well after the dinner rush. The place seems deserted except for the employees. I order a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo and stand aside to wait for it. When a grilled chicken sandwich is placed on the counter, I spy some suspicious oily glops on the box. I open it and take the sandwich apart, and not gingerly. I really manhandle it. I pipe up.

Me: “Um… I ordered this with no mayo.”

Employee: “That’s not yours. That’s hers.”

He pointed behind me where, unbeknownst to me, a little old lady had silently crept up. I apologized and offered to pay. The employee said, “Nah,” but I felt like a huge idiot.

Okay, But Were They Any Good?

, , , , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

I work the overnight shift for a hotel. Usually, it is super quiet because everyone is sleeping. The walls are not soundproof so, occasionally, we get a noise complaint about a TV too loud, people being loud in the hallway, etc.

One night, I received four noise complaints for the same room in five minutes around 1:00 am. I went upstairs with security and knocked on the door. It took ten minutes, but when the guests finally opened the door, I found a live band in the room performing. Needless to say, they all got kicked out of the hotel for the night and banned from coming back.

Heli-dum, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 5, 2020

I work at a popular party supply store. I’m up front cashiering, answering phones, greeting customers, etc. I get a call and this conversation with a very angry customer ensues.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]! This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought a package of your latex balloons and they’re broken!

Me: “Oh, that’s weird! How are they broken?”

Customer: “They won’t float when I blow them up! You changed them! I want a refund!”

Me: “Well, that’s weird. We haven’t changed our latex balloons in years. We can guarantee our balloons to last ten hours. When were they blown up?”

Customer: “I blew them up! Just now! They don’t float! Give me back my money!”

Me: “Sir… how did you blow them up?”

Customer: “What do you mean?! I just blew in them with my mouth. They used to float and now they don’t.”

Me: “Sir. I can assure you, they did not float when you blew them up, and they aren’t floating now because you need to fill balloons with helium for them to float. Helium is lighter than oxygen, so it won’t float if you just blow into them.”

Customer: “That is ridiculous! They always floated before. The balloons are broken.”

Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s high school chemistry.”

Customer: *Hangs up*

Heli-dum, Part 2