Unfiltered Story #123634

, | Unfiltered | October 16, 2018

I’d asked my mum to reserved a type of vegetables that I don’t know the name in Mandarin at the wet market. When I went to collect them, the vegetables seller gave me another type of vegetables. So I clarified with mum.

Me: Mum, I’d asked you to reserved (vegetable #1) but they gave me (vegetable #2).
Mum: Yeah, I’d told them to reserved it.
Me: But they said the vegetables you mentioned are (vegetable #2).
Mum: They clearly don’t know their vegetables!
Me: How can a vegetables seller not know the name of their vegetables?
Mum: …

The Mother Of All Dragon Sellers

, , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(I run a stall selling handmade plushies, quilts, scarves, and other knitting projects. As something to draw attention, I have a huge, six-foot, stuffed dragon as the centerpiece on my table, complete with horns, wings, sail, the works. It’s a very complicated piece, and one I’m quite proud of.)

Customer: “Hey, so, this dragon here. My kids would really like it for their room. Where did you get it from?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not really loving your $600 price tag for it. Wanted to see if I could get it for a cheaper price from wherever you bought it.”

Me: “Erm… I didn’t buy it, sir. I made it, just like I made everything else you see here.”

Customer: “Really? This looks way too high quality to be handmade.”

Me: “I can assure you it is.”

Customer: “Come on. Level with me here. Where did you buy this and can they offer me a better price?”

Me: “Okay, look, sir. I was willing to let your comments slide the first time, because yes, a lot of folk are shocked I can produce such high-quality plushies on my own. I am not, however, going to tolerate your continued insistence that it’s too good to be handmade, nor am I going to humor your desire to be a cheapskate by demanding I provide you with an alternative that will ensure I don’t get any money from you. The price of $600 is based on the cost of materials it took me to make the dragon, its size, the hours upon hours I spent sewing, stuffing, and cutting, and the cost of packaging it up so it won’t get damaged in transit. If that’s not to your liking, then you’re welcome to shop elsewhere.”

Customer: *pause* “How about I give you $300 for it?”

(I pick the dragon off the table and place it in a box behind my chair where it’s out of reach.)

Me: “I don’t think so, sir.”

(The customer scowled and walked off. I later sold the dragon at full price to another family.)

A Date To Remember

, , , , | Romantic | September 7, 2018

(My mum and I are walking up to a market stall to buy coffees. There is an older man working at the counter. He turns to face my mum and says the following:)

Man: “Would you like me to date you?”

Mum: *turns red* “Um… What?”

Man: “Date? Yes?”

(At this point, the man holds up a pair of tongs with a dried date between them.)

Mum: *with a look of relief* “Oh! Yes, please.”

Scare Me? Not A Ghost Of A Chance

, , , , , | Related | July 10, 2018

(I’m seven years old when the story takes place, and my family is going to a flea market, which I’ve never been to before. I’m kind of a crybaby at the time — I’m afraid of the dark, and burglars, and vampires, and monsters, and zombies, and curses, and a whole host of other things — so when my brother, twelve years old, notices me reading a book of kids’ ghost stories about a girl who gets a haunted doll, he figures it’s an easy hit.)

Brother: “Hey, [My Name]. You know we’re going to a flea market, right? That’s where you buy old stuff, and old stuff is way more likely to be haunted! By ghosts!”

(He’s expecting me to cry, and try to persuade our parents to go home. Instead, to his bafflement, my eyes light up.)

Me: “There might be ghosts?! That’s so cool! I’d love to have a ghost! It could hang out with me, and keep watch at night so no other monsters sneak up on me, and we could do magic tricks together, and I could introduce it to my friends, and no other girls at school have a ghost! Do you really think there’ll be stuff with ghosts? How can I find one?!”

Dad: “I think that sounds cool, [My Name]. [Brother], since it was your idea, why don’t you help her look?”

Mom: “That’s a good idea; you can spend the day helping your little sister look for ghosts.”

Me: “Yaaaay! You’re the best brother ever! Let’s go find ghosts! I want a ghost friend!”

(And that’s how my too-cool-for-this brother spent the day going up to random vendors with his hyper-enthusiastic seven-year-old sister, asking if they had any ghosts or haunted stuff for sale. I didn’t get a pet ghost, much to my disappointment, but he mostly stopped trying to scare me after that!)

Saff-wrong

, , , , | Working | May 16, 2018

(I am a foreign tourist traveling in Sri Lanka. I am perusing the goods of a local spice vendor.)

Me: “How much is your saffron?”

Vendor: “For you, my friend, I’ll sell to you at [price that is similar to what I would normally pay in my home country].”

Me: “Aww, gee, I don’t think that’s going to work for me. And how come your saffron powder is so much cheaper than your saffron threads?”

(I point to a large jar full of orange-colored powder that is clearly marked, “SAFFRON,” with a price that is unrealistically low.)

Vendor: “Uh, well, you see, the reason it’s so cheap is because that’s actually turmeric. I keep the real stuff behind the counter.”

Me: “Thanks for your time.” *walks away*

(I appreciated that he was being honest with me, but that doesn’t make it okay to lie to other people!)

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