A Circuitous Route To Fix A Circuit

, , , | Working | August 7, 2017

(My decoder short circuited and I’m on the phone with the technical support desk trying to convince them of that fact. Note: I’m living within walking distance of their HQ, where tech support is located. By now, I have left my house, decoder in hand.)

Tech: “Sir, I really don’t know what else to say. I pinged your decoder and got a reply back. All is in good working order.”

Me: “You pinged it just now?”

Tech: “Yes, sir.”

Me: “And it showed the decoder properly connected?”

Tech: “Yes, sir, the same as ten minutes ago.”

Me: “I see. Do you have the serial number of my decoder?”

Tech: *clearly thinking I lost my sanity* “Of course, sir.”

Me: “Good.”

(I have arrived at the reception and approach the woman on the counter.)

Me: “Miss, would you please read the serial number out loud?”

(By now I have arrived at HQ and I shove my decoder under the nose of the girl at the reception desk.)

Receptionist: *clearly humouring a madman, she starts reading the number*

Tech: “[Receptionist], is that you?”

(Five minutes later and the tech was at reception exchanging my clearly fried decoder for a new one. Pinged or not, there is no better proof than the acrid smell of burnt circuits.)

It’s Going To Be A ‘Long’ Day

| ME, USA | Working | August 3, 2017

(I come in to work a little early so I head into a back office to check my email before helping customers. Through the door I can hear my coworker explaining to a customer why their cable box is malfunctioning🙂

Coworker: “Oh I see. Looks like you had a short 6′ cable. You really need a long 6′ cable.”

Me: *facepalm*

(I didn’t hear why that customer came in, but I’m pretty confident they called into tech support by the end of the day.)

Things Are Looking Up

, , , , | Working | June 24, 2017

(For several months, my wife and I have been fighting with a well-known cable TV provider over our bill. They have been attempting to raise our prices every month and every month my wife will call in to dispute it, and every month, they apply just enough credit to not make switching worth the effort. The last increase is almost a $30 jump and needless to say, we’re both pretty fed up. Then this happens when she calls in:)

Wife: “Look, this is the fifth time I’ve called about our monthly cost. Our bill has just jumped from $90 to $120 for no reason. Nothing has changed in the programming, equipment, nothing. There has to be something you can do about this. It’s ridiculous!”

Rep: “Okay. Let’s see what we can do. If I apply [Credit #1] and [Credit #2] and [Deal] and [Promo], I can get your price down to $130 a month.”

Wife: “What? Did you say $130?”

Rep: “I’m sorry. That’s the best I can do right now.”

Wife: “That’s $10 more than the bill I’m calling to complain about!”

Rep: “Well, another price increase just went into effect since the last bill, and I don’t have any other promotions I can apply to your account.”

Wife: “So what you’re telling me is that my bill is going to increase again next month regardless of what you do now.”

Rep: “Yes. Have I provided you with excellent service today?”

Wife: “No!”

(Needless to say, later that day we called a competitor, scheduled installation with them, and cancelled our account with the existing provider.)

Off The Clock So Get Off My Case

| ON, Canada | Right | April 13, 2017

(I work for in customer service for the cable company in a relatively small city. Our office is located in the town’s only mall. While it makes shopping after work very convenient, it can lead to other problems. I have been sidelined by up to 30 minutes in other stores by customers who “just have one question” about their service, technical issue, etc. This happens as I am grocery shopping after work one day. Sadly, I’ve had to make it my regular response:)

Grocery Shopper: *seeing my uniform shirt* “Hey, you work at [Cable Company]?”

Me: “Not right now, I don’t.”

Lack-Of-Service Provider

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Working | March 3, 2017

(I get a bill from a cable service provider I haven’t had in nearly two years. Naturally, I call them up and have been on the phone with this rep for nearly 20 minutes.)

Representative: “Okay, so I’m seeing the bill here. It looks like it’s mostly overdue fees, but if you pay today I could get some of them waived!”

Me: “That’s lovely, but I haven’t had this service in—”

Representative: *cutting me off* “Yes, it was cut off due to nonpayment.”

Me: “No, you don’t understand. I—”

Representative: “Ma’am, you have to pay to have the service. You didn’t pay.”

Me: “There shouldn’t have—”

Representative: “How would you like to pay today?”

Me: *frustrated* “What’s the date on the bill?”

Representative: “September 2016. Are you refusing to pay?”

Me: “Well, since I ENDED my account with you in October of 2015 because I moved out of state, I’d say yes, I’m refusing to pay.”

Representative: *clearly not listening* “If you continue to refuse payment your service will not be turned back on, so—”

Me: “Transfer me to your supervisor and I hope like h*** this conversation was recorded.”

(Eventually I managed to get a higher-up on the phone and explained without interruptions and got the bill dropped in ten minutes.)

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