But Think Of The Nostalgia Factor!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Kriss3d | July 26, 2021

Some guy had cut a coax cable in his backyard that carried the TV to the entire neighborhood. We were dispatched to fix it.

We dug a larger hole to get proper access and spliced the cable correctly and insulated it so people could get TV again. The job wasn’t overly hard but these things take time.

At the end of the job, a quite upset elderly lady popped her head out.

Lady: “Hey! You messed up the TV I was watching!”

All right. Understandable. Losing your TV for an hour or two can be annoying. We get it. That’s why we were there. To fix it.

However, she kept yelling at us.

Lady: “My TV reception is really bad! Why the h*** did you make my show black and white?!”

Well, this is odd as a coax cable really has just the signal in one wire and that’s it. It’s not like it can possibly split up the colors and filter them. I went to look at her TV to see if I could figure out the problem.

Sure enough, the TV was indeed in black and white.

Me: “Ma’am. Your TV is showing a documentary about World War II. Of course, it’s in black and white.”

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Some Very Pointed (And Pointless) Remarks

, , , | Right | CREDIT: CrispinLocke | June 25, 2021

I work for a large cable company that provides for the majority of the rural area and surrounding areas I live in; we are the only store in a sixty-plus-mile radius. They do a service shift that requires everyone with their service to get a small cable box in order to use the service. There is an option to have one delivered or you can come into the store and get one.

Many, many people choose to come to the very tiny store — we’re talking thousands of people. They don’t all come on the same day, obviously, but there are enough that I am hired for the sole purpose of opening the doors for customers and taking their names and issues down on a clipboard so they stay in order of who came into the store first. At any time, we have four to five people assisting these customers with upgrades, getting boxes, etc., except on the weekend when there are two or three.

It’s a weekend and there are two or three customers waiting to be served and two being served when a woman and her three-year-old stalk in past me. I’m holding the door with a huge smile and a friendly “Good morning!” that she completely ignores, and she tries to go up to a coworker of mine who is clearly already assisting another customer.

Coworker: *Pointing at me* “You need to go put your name on the list and wait.”

She looks at me and goes into RAGE MODE. She starts screaming at me.

Customer: “Why aren’t you behind a computer helping anyone?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am the greeter. But I can take your name down; it looks like a ten-minute wait!”

She rolls her eyes and throws her kid on her hip, walking over to me to get in my face, where she spits through clenched teeth:


I smile as I hold the door open and my tears back.

Me: “I’m so sorry. I hope you have a great day!”

She glared and flew past me, cussing me out all the way to her car.

I immediately went to the break room and cried. I know my job did look pointless in that moment, but I was doing what I was hired to do; I wanted to be on a computer helping like the rest of them but I literally had no training or even a computer logon to do anything!

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A Special Deal On Stupid

, , , , , | Working | May 4, 2021

I’m searching around for new broadband deals when I spot a deal too good to be true. I call them up to check.

Me: “Hi. I’ve noticed you had a TV and Internet deal for [price], but without the TV it’s more expensive?”

Salesperson: “That’s right. We give you a box on which you can watch on-demand shows, films, and free-to-air channels.”

Me: “And this is cheaper than taking an Internet-only deal?”

Salesperson: “it is!”

Me: “Sign me up.”

I switch over to the company and I throw the TV box in a corner; I have no need for it. A few months later, I get a phone call from the same company.

Salesperson: “Our records show that you haven’t connected your TV box up to the Internet. Are you having problems with it?”

Me: “No, I just don’t want to use it.”

Salesperson: “But you’re paying for it.”

Me: “Actually, it was cheaper to do it that way.”

Salesperson: “Oh, okay, then. Would you like to return the TV box? We can send prepaid return packaging.”

Me: “Do I have to stop my TV package and pay more?”

Salesperson: “Let me check… Yes, you revert to the other package and your new monthly bill would be [amount] more.”

Me: “Then no. I think I will keep it.”

Salesperson: “Oh? Okay. Well, if you’re sure.”

I got a few more calls exactly like that one. The company stopped offering the package after a while. I guess no one wanted to pay more for less.

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At Least You Didn’t Get Mansplained

, , , , , | Working | January 18, 2021

Our cable connection goes out suddenly in the middle of the day, which means we have no Internet or telephone service. I dig out my cell phone and call the cable company, who keeps me on hold for over twenty minutes, constantly telling me I could easily report a problem online.

I’m not sure which is the more annoying: just being on hold or being told to use a connection I don’t have.

A fellow finally picks up the call and I explain the problem.

Representative: “May I have your account number?”

Me: “Can’t you find it by our telephone number?”

Representative: “No, ma’am. We have to have the account number. I can wait if you need to go find it.”

I looked in the file cabinet and rummaged through the pile of papers on the desk, to no avail. I finally told him I’d have my husband call when he got in. After waiting for so long, it was beyond annoying to have to start over, but there was no choice.

When my husband came home, he called the cable company and the woman who picked up found the account — by using the phone number!

Maybe it was his deep voice.

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The Law Has Put You In Pole Position

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I’m doing maintenance on a large telecom network. The equipment I need to get to is in a backyard and six metres up on a pole. It can only be accessed from this one backyard, with a ladder. As per policy, I knock on the front door to inform the homeowner of my presence. Note that utilities — hydro, telecom providers, etc. — have a legal right of way to access the poles and equipment. The homeowner answers and I hold up my company ID badge.

Me: “Hi, I’m with [Telecom Company]. I’m doing some network maintenance in the area and I need to go to the pole in your backyard for about ten minutes.”

Homeowner: “I don’t have service with you. My neighbours don’t, either.”

Me: “This equipment feeds service to the whole area, not just your direct neighbours. There’s something causing issues for two-hundred subscribers in the area.” 

Homeowner: “I don’t care about the other two-hundred people. You need to find another way to do it.” 

Me: “It’s only accessible from your yard. I checked the neighbour’s side first. The pole is five metres from the fence line. For my health and safety, I can’t go from another yard.”

Homeowner: “Well, for my health and safety, I can’t let you into my yard.”

Me: “Actually, we have a legal right of way to access our equipment. It should be detailed in your home ownership papers.”

Homeowner: “Well, my husband is a cop! I’m gonna call him and see what he has to say about it!” 

Me: “By all means, please do.”

Homeowner: *On the phone* “Yeah, I’ve got some guy here pretending to be from [Telecom Company] saying he needs to go to the pole—” *Pauses* “Really?” *Pauses* “Really?” *Pauses* “REALLY?! Ooookay.”

She hangs up.

Homeowner: “He says it’s okay.”

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