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Football Isn’t More Important Than A Paycheck!

, , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2021

When we moved into our house, it was December, and all the trees were bare. An engineer from [Satellite Broadcaster] installed our satellite dish for us, but it had to go on the side of the house as he could not get a signal from the back. He did say it might need raising in the summer, but we will see how things go.

It is now June, and at the time of this story, both the health crisis and a major football tournament are taking place. A rather large tree in our neighbour’s garden is in full bloom. Our satellite signal keeps cutting out and the channels are patchy at times. We know what the problem is and that we can’t do anything about the tree, so we decide to contact [Satellite Broadcaster]. I go online and find they have an appointment free that afternoon. Excellent! [Engineer #1] arrives at about 3:30 pm.

I explain what the problem is and what we would like done.

Engineer #1: “Yeah, I think I can do that.”

Due to the ongoing health crisis, I have to keep my distance from the engineer, so I let him get on with things and do a few jobs around the house. He gets several phone calls and I do hear him saying something about, “I can’t; I’m on a job,” but I don’t really pay much attention to it. After about fifteen minutes, he comes back in.

Engineer #1: “Um, I left my drill at my previous job. I’ll just need to go and get it.”

And off he goes. A couple of hours pass and it is very clear he isn’t coming back. We suspect he has bunked off to watch the football! Furious, I call [Satellite Broadcaster] and explain the situation.

Operator: “I am so sorry about this! There are no notes on the system about this. If he had to leave for a reason, he would have put something there. Can I put you on hold for a moment whilst I try and contact the engineer and see what happened?”

He comes back to the phone a few minutes later.

Operator: “I tried both the engineer and his manager and can’t get a hold of either of them. Once again, I deeply apologise.”

Me: “That’s okay; it’s not your fault.”

The operator gives us a voucher worth £14 to download some movies onto our box and then speaks to his manager to see what they can do.

Operator: “The next available appointment is not for a few days; however, we do have a team that deals with emergencies that can get to you faster. They will contact you later tonight or tomorrow morning, to book a time slot.”

Me: “Thank you! I appreciate that.”

We have also had a few problems with our broadband, also provided by [Satellite Broadcaster], which the operator notices, so he helps us with that, as well. He is a very friendly and helpful guy and I end the phone call feeling relieved that something will be done.

The next morning, I have to head to work, so my partner, who is working from home, keeps an ear out for the phone. The phone rings.

Scammer: “Hello, I am from [Satellite Broadcaster] and your broadband will be cut off within twenty-four hours…”

Partner: “…unless I download a program which allows you access? No, thanks. I am terminating this call.”

He then called [Satellite Broadcaster] to double-check and to report the call, and they were also able to sort out a new appointment for the engineer. Once again, we were in luck; a spare slot was free that afternoon. [Engineer #2] arrived.

My partner explained what we wanted done and what had happened with [Engineer #1]. [Engineer #2] was genuinely shocked at this and was able to move our dish so the tree was no longer blocking the signal. He did this with no problems at all, and whilst doing so, he made phone calls trying to see if [Engineer #1] was anyone in his team. To his relief, he wasn’t.

Our satellite signal has been absolutely fine ever since, with no more pixelly programmes. We never found out what happened to [Engineer #1], but if he did skive off to watch the football, we hope it was worth it.

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But Think Of The Nostalgia Factor!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Kriss3d | July 26, 2021

Some guy had cut a coax cable in his backyard that carried the TV to the entire neighborhood. We were dispatched to fix it.

We dug a larger hole to get proper access and spliced the cable correctly and insulated it so people could get TV again. The job wasn’t overly hard but these things take time.

At the end of the job, a quite upset elderly lady popped her head out.

Lady: “Hey! You messed up the TV I was watching!”

All right. Understandable. Losing your TV for an hour or two can be annoying. We get it. That’s why we were there. To fix it.

However, she kept yelling at us.

Lady: “My TV reception is really bad! Why the h*** did you make my show black and white?!”

Well, this is odd as a coax cable really has just the signal in one wire and that’s it. It’s not like it can possibly split up the colors and filter them. I went to look at her TV to see if I could figure out the problem.

Sure enough, the TV was indeed in black and white.

Me: “Ma’am. Your TV is showing a documentary about World War II. Of course, it’s in black and white.”

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Some Very Pointed (And Pointless) Remarks

, , , | Right | CREDIT: CrispinLocke | June 25, 2021

I work for a large cable company that provides for the majority of the rural area and surrounding areas I live in; we are the only store in a sixty-plus-mile radius. They do a service shift that requires everyone with their service to get a small cable box in order to use the service. There is an option to have one delivered or you can come into the store and get one.

Many, many people choose to come to the very tiny store — we’re talking thousands of people. They don’t all come on the same day, obviously, but there are enough that I am hired for the sole purpose of opening the doors for customers and taking their names and issues down on a clipboard so they stay in order of who came into the store first. At any time, we have four to five people assisting these customers with upgrades, getting boxes, etc., except on the weekend when there are two or three.

It’s a weekend and there are two or three customers waiting to be served and two being served when a woman and her three-year-old stalk in past me. I’m holding the door with a huge smile and a friendly “Good morning!” that she completely ignores, and she tries to go up to a coworker of mine who is clearly already assisting another customer.

Coworker: *Pointing at me* “You need to go put your name on the list and wait.”

She looks at me and goes into RAGE MODE. She starts screaming at me.

Customer: “Why aren’t you behind a computer helping anyone?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am the greeter. But I can take your name down; it looks like a ten-minute wait!”

She rolls her eyes and throws her kid on her hip, walking over to me to get in my face, where she spits through clenched teeth:

Customer: “All you do is GREET PEOPLE?! YOUR JOB IS POINTLESS AND YOU’RE A WASTE OF SPACE! IF I WAS YOUR BOSS, YOU’D BE FIRED!

I smile as I hold the door open and my tears back.

Me: “I’m so sorry. I hope you have a great day!”

She glared and flew past me, cussing me out all the way to her car.

I immediately went to the break room and cried. I know my job did look pointless in that moment, but I was doing what I was hired to do; I wanted to be on a computer helping like the rest of them but I literally had no training or even a computer logon to do anything!

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A Special Deal On Stupid

, , , , , | Working | May 4, 2021

I’m searching around for new broadband deals when I spot a deal too good to be true. I call them up to check.

Me: “Hi. I’ve noticed you had a TV and Internet deal for [price], but without the TV it’s more expensive?”

Salesperson: “That’s right. We give you a box on which you can watch on-demand shows, films, and free-to-air channels.”

Me: “And this is cheaper than taking an Internet-only deal?”

Salesperson: “it is!”

Me: “Sign me up.”

I switch over to the company and I throw the TV box in a corner; I have no need for it. A few months later, I get a phone call from the same company.

Salesperson: “Our records show that you haven’t connected your TV box up to the Internet. Are you having problems with it?”

Me: “No, I just don’t want to use it.”

Salesperson: “But you’re paying for it.”

Me: “Actually, it was cheaper to do it that way.”

Salesperson: “Oh, okay, then. Would you like to return the TV box? We can send prepaid return packaging.”

Me: “Do I have to stop my TV package and pay more?”

Salesperson: “Let me check… Yes, you revert to the other package and your new monthly bill would be [amount] more.”

Me: “Then no. I think I will keep it.”

Salesperson: “Oh? Okay. Well, if you’re sure.”

I got a few more calls exactly like that one. The company stopped offering the package after a while. I guess no one wanted to pay more for less.

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At Least You Didn’t Get Mansplained

, , , , , | Working | January 18, 2021

Our cable connection goes out suddenly in the middle of the day, which means we have no Internet or telephone service. I dig out my cell phone and call the cable company, who keeps me on hold for over twenty minutes, constantly telling me I could easily report a problem online.

I’m not sure which is the more annoying: just being on hold or being told to use a connection I don’t have.

A fellow finally picks up the call and I explain the problem.

Representative: “May I have your account number?”

Me: “Can’t you find it by our telephone number?”

Representative: “No, ma’am. We have to have the account number. I can wait if you need to go find it.”

I looked in the file cabinet and rummaged through the pile of papers on the desk, to no avail. I finally told him I’d have my husband call when he got in. After waiting for so long, it was beyond annoying to have to start over, but there was no choice.

When my husband came home, he called the cable company and the woman who picked up found the account — by using the phone number!

Maybe it was his deep voice.

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