Off The Clock So Get Off My Case

| ON, Canada | Right | April 13, 2017

(I work for in customer service for the cable company in a relatively small city. Our office is located in the town’s only mall. While it makes shopping after work very convenient, it can lead to other problems. I have been sidelined by up to 30 minutes in other stores by customers who “just have one question” about their service, technical issue, etc. This happens as I am grocery shopping after work one day. Sadly, I’ve had to make it my regular response:)

Grocery Shopper: *seeing my uniform shirt* “Hey, you work at [Cable Company]?”

Me: “Not right now, I don’t.”

Lack-Of-Service Provider

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Working | March 3, 2017

(I get a bill from a cable service provider I haven’t had in nearly two years. Naturally, I call them up and have been on the phone with this rep for nearly 20 minutes.)

Representative: “Okay, so I’m seeing the bill here. It looks like it’s mostly overdue fees, but if you pay today I could get some of them waived!”

Me: “That’s lovely, but I haven’t had this service in—”

Representative: *cutting me off* “Yes, it was cut off due to nonpayment.”

Me: “No, you don’t understand. I—”

Representative: “Ma’am, you have to pay to have the service. You didn’t pay.”

Me: “There shouldn’t have—”

Representative: “How would you like to pay today?”

Me: *frustrated* “What’s the date on the bill?”

Representative: “September 2016. Are you refusing to pay?”

Me: “Well, since I ENDED my account with you in October of 2015 because I moved out of state, I’d say yes, I’m refusing to pay.”

Representative: *clearly not listening* “If you continue to refuse payment your service will not be turned back on, so—”

Me: “Transfer me to your supervisor and I hope like h*** this conversation was recorded.”

(Eventually I managed to get a higher-up on the phone and explained without interruptions and got the bill dropped in ten minutes.)

It Was A ‘No’ Brainer

, | ID, USA | Right | December 21, 2016

(During a financial rough patch, my Internet service is disconnected for late payment. I call to see if I could get an extension.)

ISP Rep: “Thank you for calling [ISP].”

Me: “Yes, hello. My Internet was disconnected due to a past due balance. I was hoping you might be able to turn it back on. I get paid on Friday and can pay the bill then.”

ISP Rep: “I’m sorry, but without a payment we cannot reinstate service.”

Me: “Well, that sucks. Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, then, thank you.”

ISP Rep: “Okay? What do you mean Okay?”

Me: “Well, you agreed to provide me a service, and I agreed to pay for it. I failed to live up to my end of the deal, so you stopped providing your end. Fair enough. It sucks for me, but I’ll call back on Friday and get the bill paid and have my internet turned back on.”

ISP Rep: “Hmm. Sir, can you please hold?

Me: “Sure, I guess.”

(The rep puts me on hold for about five minutes and then returns.)

ISP Rep: “Sir, I’ve turned your Internet back on, but you have to promise me you will absolutely pay that bill on Friday, or else I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”

Me: “Sure, I will absolutely do that. Thank you very much, but if you don’t mind my asking, what changed?”

ISP Rep: “You are the first person in three months to not yell at me when I’ve told them ‘no’ to something.”

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Doesn’t Have The Power To Break Script

| NJ, USA | Working | August 21, 2016

(I am on a chat window with my cable provider because my parrots chewed through the power cable on my cable box, so my cable box has no power. I am asking if I can replace it with them, or where to purchase a new one.)

Me: *gives serial number for cable box* “Can I purchase a new AC cable for this model? Mine is cut in half from my birds so my cable box won’t turn on.”

Customer Service: “I see the problem; does your cable box have a power button on the front?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer Service: “Try pushing the power button on the front of the box. Has this solved your problem?”

Me: “No…”

Will Be Fixed In A Flash

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Right | July 23, 2016

(I am surfing on my laptop at home when I suddenly lose connection to the Internet. After determining that everyone else in the house is having the same problem, I call our ISP.)

Me: “Hi, I can’t connect to the Internet. I guess you probably want me to test my modem and all that, eh?”

ISP Guy: “Actually, no, we’re pretty sure we know what caused the problem. There was a lightning strike a few minutes ago that took out our server.”

Me: “Bummer! No ETA, I guess?”

ISP Guy: “I’m afraid not.”

Me: “Okay, thanks. Have a good night.”

ISP Guy: “…That’s it? You’re not going to yell at me?”

Me: “Why would I do that? You can’t control the weather, man.”

ISP Guy: “THANK you!”

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